Author's Note: The original A/N I had for this chapter was a lot longer than this, but I feel that it would be better if I kept this brief. I plan on writing bloopers for every episode of the show, but there will come a point in season seven where I will start writing bloopers for episodes completely blind to their contents because I have stopped watching MLP.
I once told a friend of mine that if there was ever an episode of MLP that I disliked more than Rainbow Falls then I would stop watching the show. It took over three years, but that time has finally come. I'll wait until I get to that episode until I reveal which one it was that made me throw in the towel, but I will say that I was in a slump for a long time after I stopped following MLP. That's the reason that I've waited so long to release this chapter. It was half-finished by the time I stopped watching and so this chapter might seem a little all-over-the-place.
But again, I won't stop writing these bloopers, because they make me happy and I love hearing from all of you who read this. I already have a special chapter planned for a season 4 episode that I'm now even more eager to write. Yes, I've planned that far ahead.
Now let's get back on track, darnit! ^u^
Swarm of the Century
The Weed Killer
[Fluttershy is singing a cute little tune whilst harvesting flowers in a field with her animal friends. A squirrel bounds up to her with a dandelion and tugs on her tail to get her attention. Fluttershy bends down to speak with the critter.]
Fluttershy: Thank you little squirrel, but remember, these flowers are for Princess Celestia. Only the prettiest flowers will do.
[Suddenly, the wind picks up, blowing the dandelion seeds off the stem… and right into Fluttershy's eyes.]
Fluttershy: [Rubbing her eyes roughly] GAAAH! IT BUUUUURNS!
Director: CUT!
Pierre: Sir, I'm beginning to think that we should have just used a wind machine instead of going to an actual field. How are we supposed to control where the seeds go?
Director: We can't keep filming in front of a green screen, Pierre! Every actor has to overcome challenges such as this.
Pierre: But you're putting Fluttershy up against the forces of nature itself! She could go blind if this keeps happening, right?
Director: Oh come on, even Fluttershy couldn't get beaten down by a flower.
Fluttershy: Hey!
Applejack Would Not Approve
[A little blue creature with big round eyes and transparent wings climbs up on top of a rock and makes a sweet chirping sound. Fluttershy steps closer to it.]
Fluttershy: [Softly] Hello, little guy. I've never seen anything like you before…
[The creature hovers over to an apple on the ground and sniffs it.]
Fluttershy: Oh! Are you hungry? [Fluttershy places a hoof on top of the apple and presses down on it… however; the fruit does not get crushed.]
Director: What the- Fluttershy, you have hooves! How can you not crush that?!
Fluttershy: I-I-I don't know! [She tries even harder to squish the apple, to no avail.] Wait a moment… [Fluttershy leans down and sniffs the apple] …this is wax!
Director: [Already annoyed] RAINBOW DASH, WAS THAT YOU?!
Rainbow: [Off-set, sarcastically] Nooooooo… hehe…
Director: Note to self: Make that conniving pegasus pay.
A Prelude of Things to Come
[Twilight and Spike are cleaning up the library in preparation for Princess Celestia's visit.]
Twilight: There's nothing casual about a visit from royalty. I want this place to be spotless, and you've barely made a dent in the clutter!
Spike: [Attempts to climb up a ladder whilst carrying several heavy books.] Maybe you should [Grunts] start reading them one at a time—WHOA!
[Spike loses his balances and falls off the ladder, landing hard on the ground and getting hit in the head several times by the plummeting books.]
Twilight: Everything's got to be perfect! There's no time for… uh, Spike?
[The little dragon doesn't get up.]
Twilight: I… think we should give him lighter books to carry. [She uses her magic to levitate Spike onto her back] I'm going to take him to get an ice pack. [Exits set]
Pierre: Sir…?
Director: Yes?
Pierre: Is making a kid dragon fall off of things really what makes people laugh?
Director: You'd be surprised to find that, yes, that is what makes people laugh.
Pierre: Um, sure… but this Spike torture thing isn't going to be a running joke, right?
Director: Er… [Thinking about all of the scripts he has read for the next three seasons] … Noooooo…
Bannered for Life
[Twilight is checking on preparations throughout the town. She comes across Berry Punch and Golden Harvest raising a banner. They open it up to reveal the words-]
Twilight: Rainbow Dash is Best Pony…?
Director: GODDAMNIT DASH! Is this going to be a thing with you today?!
[Off-screen, Rainbow laughs once again.]
Pierre: [Sigh] You're gonna get her back for this, right?
Director: [Chuckle] Oh, just you wait a few minutes…
The Limits of Pinkie's Reality-Bending
[Mr. and Mrs. Cake are having trouble preparing the baked goods for Celestia due to Pinkie and her sweet tooth for sugar. The pink pony has just eaten an entire double-layer ice cream cake in three bites.]
Twilight: [Mortified] Pinkie! What are you doing?! Those sweets are supposed to be for the Princess!
Pinkie: I know! That's why- [Pinkie suddenly lets out a loud belch] Oh dang it!
Director: Cut! Um... let's try this shot again later. We don't need Pinkie getting diabetes from too much cake.
Pinkie: [Sighs and hangs her head] There are many things I can do that defy all logic and reason, but avoiding lifelong illnesses is unfortunately not one of them…
(Credit to Maelstrom)
Cuteness Overload
[Fluttershy has entered the sweet shop, eager to show Book Horse and Party Horse her discovery.]
Pinkie: What's going on, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: You won't believe what I found at the edge of the Everfree Forest! [Fluttershy leans down and whispers at her hair.] Come on out, little guy. It's okay.
[Three parasprites emerge from Fluttershy's mane.]
Fluttershy: Huh? Three…?
Twilight: [Trots over to get a closer look] They're amazing! What are they?
Fluttershy: I… I'm not-
[Suddenly Pinkie shoots over and grabs one of the parasprites, giggling and cradling it in her arms.]
Pinkie: Ohmigosh you are just the sweetest little thing! [She nuzzles the parasprite happily] You look just like candy! I promise I won't eat you but you still look just like a gumdrop!
Director: CUT! Pinkie, you're supposed to be disgusted by the dang things!
Pinkie: …
[Beat]
Pinkie: [Sadly] This is the hardest acting job I've ever had.
Pierre: Didn't you have a main role in the last generation of MLP?
Pinkie: [Sadly] This is the second hardest acting job I've ever had.
(Credit to Maelstrom)
Rainbow Dash Always Dresses In Style
[In Carousel Boutique, Rarity has Rainbow Dash dressed in the most hideous outfit the crew could find in the costume department, per the Director's request. Dash is not happy.]
Rarity: Do you want to look nice for Princess Celestia or not?
Rainbow: I do! [Dash then tosses the wig to the side, shakes off her coat, and kicks her horseshoes off. She then slaps on a pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap, making sure to wear it backwards to achieve maximum coolness.] Now this is how you dress nicely.
Rarity: [Rubs her forehead with a hoof and grumbles] Oh please.
Director: Cut! [Whispers to himself] And now it's payback time…
Payback Time
Take 1
Rarity: [With pins in her mouth] Stand still, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow: I can't! [She tries to flap her wings to get away from Rarity, but Rarity keeps her grounded by stepping on her tail.] I need to fly! This is waaaaay too- why are you making that face?
[Rarity has her cheeks puffed out, her eyes watering from some kind of strain.]
Rainbow: …Rarity?
[Rarity cannot take it anymore, and bursts out laughing.]
Rainbow: Ugh! Come on! Get a grip so we can finish this scene! This outfit is itchy and this wig is gonna snap my neck if we don't hurry up!
Rarity: I-I know! [Giggle] I'm sorry. Let's try that again.
Pierre: [Whispering] Sir, this scene isn't in the script I have. This was supposed to be a scene where Twilight gives Dash and Rarity some parasprites.
Director: That part's coming. I just took out a few lines to make room for my revenge against Rainbow Dash.
Pierre: …Oh! So this is what you had planned. Heh… I think I'm gonna enjoy filming this.
Take 2
[Due to Rainbow Dash's eagerness to get the scene over with, the entire conversation at Carousel Boutique is accomplished in one take.]
Pinkie: Does anypony know where I can find an accordion?
[Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity all coo over the parasprites.]
Pinkie: Girls! Hello! This is important!
[Still no response.]
Pinkie: DAAGH! Thanks a lot! [Gallops away]
Director: Aaaaand cut!
Rainbow: Thank Celestia! [Goes to take off the wig]
Director: Actually…
Rainbow: [Raises eyebrow]
Director: …The scene where you snuggle the parasprites needs a few adjustments. Let's try that one more time.
Rainbow: [Groan]
Take 3
Director: Cut!
Rainbow: What?!
Director: Can you put a little more effort into nuzzling the parasprite?
Rainbow: How is-
Director: ACTION!
Rainbow: Hey wait!
Director: Cut!
Rainbow: Can you just listen to me?!
Director: Hmm… now that I think about it, the entire scene should really be filmed in Rarity's bedroom.
Rainbow: Wha- why?!
Director: She has more clothes in there. Maybe we could find some epaulettes for you to wear.
Rainbow: [Whimper]
Take 12
[The Director's hunt for the perfect revenge has taken him and the crew to the Sweet Apple Acres set.]
Director: Cut!
Rainbow: WhaaaaaaAAAAAAAT?!
Director: Rarity, don't you feel like this outfit could use a final finishing touch?
Rarity: Like what?
Director: Maybe… some wooden clogs?
Rarity: [Disgusted] Okay, you've gone much too far now!
Director: You're right… ya know what, the first take was pretty much perfect. Let's just use that one-OHDEARGODNO!
[Rainbow launches herself at the Director with a ferocious war cry, knocking him right off his chair.]
Beaten By the Thing You Love Most
[It is the next morning, and the parasprite Twilight brought home with her has multiplied. They begin to destroy the library, picking up books from the shelves and dropping them down to the ground, and tearing the pages out of various tomes.]
Spike: Oh no! They're messing up all my hard work!
Twilight: The Princess will- OW! [A trio of parasprites drop a large encyclopaedia onto Twilight's head].
Director: Cut!
Twilight: [Her horn begins to glow] It's been a while since I've brought out that concussion spell.
Choking Hazard
[Twilight is trying to swat the parasprites away from the bookshelves with a feather duster]
Twilight: Spike, help me round up these little guys!
Spike: [Carrying a basket overflowing with parasprites] What does it look like I'm doing?! [The dragon suddenly loses his balance and topples over, the stack of parasprites landing on top of him.]
[Twilight trots over and uses the feather duster to sweep the parasprites away from Spike, but finds that the little drake is struggling to breathe.]
Twilight: [Gasps] SPIKE! [Twilight grabs Spike around his middle and pulls inwards against his chest. Eventually, he coughs up a blue parasprite, which hovers away unfazed.]
Spike: [Leaning all of his weight against Twilight, eyes still wide with terror] Gosh… thanks…
Twilight: That's the second time I've had to do that within two episodes… I sure hope this doesn't become a regular thing.
Director: [Sigh] Just don't rule it out.
(Credit to GuardianAngel1234567)
A Little Too Comfy
[Rainbow Dash is peacefully sleeping on her (literal) bed of clouds.]
[About twenty seconds pass]
Pierre: Umm… psst! Dash!
[No response.]
Pierre: DASH!
Rainbow: [Grunts and turns over, rolling right off the side of the bed and down through the "sky". She lands on the ground a second later] GYAAAH! OWW!
Pierre: Damn. It's a good thing we can't film in the sky.
Director: I should really hire some pegasi to do that…
The Tail of Rainbow Dash
[Dash is once again on her cloudy bed. She opens one magenta eye and smiles as her new pet parasprite emerges from the mattress, but frowns when a second one appears beside it.]
Rainbow: Huh…?
[Her confusion grows as she notices more and more parasprites, before looking down and gasping with shock.]
Rainbow: GAH! Get 'em off! [She gets up and starts kicking and jumping around like a bucking bronco. Four parasprites have been munching at Rainbow's tail, and refuse to let go.]
Pinkie: Haha! They must think your tail's made of candy!
Pierre: [To the director] Did you train them to do that to get back at Dash?
Director: [Chuckle] No. They're doing that all on their own.
Pierre: Heh… I've never seen you smile this much before.
[Beat]
Pierre: I'm kinda terrified.
(Credit to GuardianAngel1234567)
The Bug Name in Fashion
[The scene opens in Carousel Boutique, where Rarity has been putting all of the parasprites to good use. The little critters are hovering all over the place carrying fabric and… wearing tiny hats and capes…?]
Director: CUT!
Rarity: Huh? I haven't even said the first line yet!
Director: Rarity, what is this?!
Rarity: Oh? You mean the little outfits I made for the parasprites? I… I tried to resist, but I couldn't get over how adorable they would look with cloaks.
Director: Take them away.
Rarity: Huh? Why?! Don't you think they add a little "je ne sais quoi" to the scene?
Director: I'm sure there's a flaw in logic to be found somewhere, but for now, let's stick to what's in the script. We're walking on thin ice as it is with the constant accidents. The least we can do is follow the writers' instructions.
Rarity: [Sigh] Fine. I wonder if Sweetie Belle would like these outfits for her dolls…
Cheap Accessories
[Rarity is coming out of the boutique wearing two pink saddlebags, each one stuffed with parasprites. Pinkie bounces over to her, still on the hunt for instruments.]
Pinkie: Look Rarity! Applejack loaned me a harmonica! [She plays a quick tune on it] Isn't- UH!
[Rarity's saddlebags suddenly explode from the pressure of all the parasprites fighting to free themselves. The insects begin to fly around the set.]
Rarity: Um… I think I need some stronger bags…
Get. New. Bags!
[Twilight is galloping along a dirt road as fast as she can- she too has a pair of saddlebags almost bursting with parasprites. Suddenly she sees Rarity trotting up the path in her direction]
Twilight: [Gasps and skids to a halt. However, the momentum of her skid results in the saddlebags flying off Twilight's back and right off the set, where the parasprites instantly begin swarming around the nearest crew members]
Director: CUUUUUT!
Pierre: [With a parasprite nuzzling his cheek] Good grief...
Swarm of the Cent... oh wait, that pun's already the title of the episode
Twilight: Fluttershy knows everything about animals; I'm sure she can tell us how to stop them from multiplying.
[Twilight and Rarity gallop on over to Fluttershy's cottage. When they open the door, what seems to be hundreds of different colored parasprites emerge in a flurry. Instead of flying over the two unicorns, quite a few of them end up hitting them in the face.]
Rarity: Gah! [A parasprite hits her in the nose] Get them [Another one flies into her ear for a second before fluttering out] away from us! [One bonks her on the muzzle]
Pierre: Sir, please! In the future- no more poison joke, and no more bugs. Please?!
Director: Yeah... this might have been a bad idea.
Author's Mid-Note
Hi everyone! It's me, your god- I mean, the author of these bloopers. In place of this note, there was originally supposed to be an incredibly lengthy argument between Twilight and the Director about how impossible it would be to herd a bunch of small flying insects into a singular group and then compress them into a sphere. I couldn't even explain it using special effects- it's just not possible and that bothers the living hell out of me. So instead of all that I'm just going to leave this little thing here:
Twilight: [Slaps the director across the face with her script] THIS SCENE IS STUPID!
That's it- that's the blooper.
Damn it, Fluttershy!
[The ponies have herded the Parasprites out of Ponyville and are returning to Fluttershy's cottage.]
Twilight: Okay, everypony knows what to do, right? We've gotta work extra hard to make up for lost time.
Fluttershy: [Opens the door to her cottage.]
[Suddenly a barrage of what appears to be thousands of parasprites rockets through the open door, a large cluster of them even managing to pick Fluttershy up and carry her away off the set, ignorant to her flailing and cries of terror.]
Director: Gah! Rainbow Dash, go get her!
Rainbow: Pfft. As if I'd do anything you'd say after that stunt you pulled with the costume earlier.
Pierre: [Sighs] Rainbow Dash, go get her!
Rainbow: [Salutes] Yes sir! [Flies off after Fluttershy]
Director: Ugh. I think I may have unintentionally made my job even harder...
Hoof Problems
[Rainbow Dash is flying above her friends, preparing to create a tornado to suck up all the parasprites]
Rainbow: Time to take out the adorable trash. She pulls her goggles down over her eyes and lets out a determined war cry, pounding on her chest with her hooves. However, she ends up pounding her chest too hard, and flinches when her hoof makes contact with the spot just beneath her shoulder] GYOW!
Director: Cut!
Not On The Ground Anymore
[Rainbow Dash successfully creates a tornado to gather up the parasprites, however, she makes it a little too strong, and her friends struggle to keep themselves from being pulled into it.
Rarity: Oh no! [She begins to lose her grip on the log she has been clinging to. Finally she can hold on no longer and she flies into the tornado, screaming all the way.]
Rainbow: GAH! PLEASE NO-
[Rarity slams right into Rainbow Dash, causing the tornado to disappear and sending the two mares crashing to the dirt road below]
Pierre: Eesh. That's gotta hurt...
Director: Ugh. NURSE!
Editing Doesn't Fix Broken Bones
[Pinkie and Rainbow are filming the scene where Pinkie's new cymbals get sucked into Rainbow's tornado]
Pierre: We're not really going to throw cymbals into the tornado are we? They'll slice Dash's legs off.
Director: As entertaining as that would be- we're just going to edit the cymbals in once filming is complete.
Pierre: We probably shouldn't be talking over the recording, should we...?
Rainbow: GRAAAAAH! [Rainbow is flung out of the tornado towards a tree. However, instead of hitting the tree, she misses and ends up flopping off the set]
Director: [Cringes] Damn... well, at least the talking thing won't be an issue.
Rainbow: [Weakly] Ouch...
(Credit to Brandon Vortex)
We really didn't think this through...
[Twilight has cast a spell to stop the parasprites from eating all the food in town... but this causes them to start eating literally everything else.]
[The ponies all dash around the set, panicking, whilst the remaining members of the mane six stare on in horror]
Pierre: Um... sir?
Director: Oh for crying out loud, we just talked about speaking over the scene. CUT!
Pierre: But, if this spell makes the parasprites eat anything that isn't organic, what's keeping them from eating our equipment?
[Beat]
Director: Wh-whaaaa...
[The director's megaphone is suddenly devoured right out of his hand]
Director: [Feminine screech]
Pierre: [Picks up his camera and runs as fast as he can] Screw this! I'm out!
Director: [Goes to yell into his megaphone but then realizes that it's gone. He just cups his hands around his mouth and yells] Forget the scene! Save the equipment! EVERYBODY PANIC!
[Everyone complies]
[All of a sudden, Discord poofs into existence on the set]
Discord: OKAY! Now, this has got to be my debut episode! Just look at all of this unadulterated chaos!
[Everybody is too busy fleeing to notice him. Discord scoffs and leans down to talk to a parasprite that is eating a hole in the ground.]
Discord: Amateur. I could make the floor disappear with a snap of my fingers.
Making a Stool of Yourself
[Rarity gallops into her boutique, which is swarming with parasprites. The creatures are devouring her dresses and completely trashing the place.]
Rarity: MY OUTFITS! [She starts desperately trying to swat the parasprites away] Go on, shoo! Get out of here, you naughty- AAAAAH! [They corner Rarity and she tries climbing up onto a stool... which she accidentally tips over, sending her crashing to the floor.]
Director: CUT!
Rarity: Owww...
Pierre: Congratulations! You win the award for the Lamest Blooper of the Day!
Rarity: [Sigh] Well at least I'm getting something out of this experience.
Inner Peace, Inner Pain
[Zecora is inside her hut, meditating by balancing on her head on a thin staff, which is ever-so-slightly swaying beneath her. All of a sudden, Twilight bursts through her door with a parasprite in her teeth, startling the zebra and making the staff wobble, causing the zebra to crash to the ground]
[Long silence]
Director: Um... Zecora... that's your line.
[Zecora lies motionless on the floor]
Director: Z-Zecora...?
[Still no movement]
Director: [Pinches the bridge of his nose] Oh geez, just get her some ice!
Pierre: On it. [Leaves]
Twilight: Why don't we just call for the nurse?
Director: Because I'm afraid that if we call her again today she'll pin me to the ground and inject potassium chloride into my bloodstream.
Re-Gurgi-Take
[Twilight gives Zecora a parasprite to examine]
Zecora: Oh, monster of so little size; is that a parasprite before my eyes?
Twilight: I don't know! Is it?
[Solemnly, Zecora approaches Twilight]
Zecora: Tales of crops and harvests consumed. If these creatures are in Ponyville-
[The parasprite suddenly spits out a large mass of slimy fuzz, which lands square in Twilight's face]
Twilight: [Frantically wiping the stuff off her face] Ewewewewewewewew-HRK! [Twilight's cheeks suddenly puff out and her eyes cross] I-I gotta barf! [The purple unicorn gallops offset and the sound of vomiting can be heard]
Director: Urk! Cut!
Pierre: I had no idea Twilight had such a weak stomach...
Mass Destruction
[Upon catching sight of Princess Celestia's chariot approaching in the distance, Twilight gallops back into town to find everyone running around in panic, screaming like the end of the world was approaching]
Twilight: [Starting to lose her mind] Okay, here's the plan. Rainbow Dash, you distract them.
Rainbow: [Flies past, screeching in terror]
Twilight: Good. Everypony else, we need to build an exact copy of Ponyville right over there [points into the distance]. We've got less than a minute.
[As she talks, Twilight is completely unaware that most of the crew has completely abandoned the set and the cast is legitimately running for their lives. Pierre has left a camera rolling on its stand and has run for the hills.]
(Credit to GuardianAngel1234567)
Choking Hazard to Children and Pinkies
[Twilight rubs her eyes with a hoof and stares in disbelief as Pinkie Pie begins marching down the street, simultaneously playing multiple instruments strapped to her body, including a harmonica, a banjo and an accordion.]
[As Pinkie alternates between blowing into the harmonica and the trombone, she suddenly sucks in the trombone when she is meant to blow and practically inhales half of it.]
Pinkie: GHAK! [She stops playing the music and swiftly spits the trombone out] Shoot! I had no idea it was so hard to play two wind instruments at once...
Pinkie Pie On Parade
[Twilight rubs her eyes with a hoof and stares in disbelief as Pinkie Pie begins marching down the street, simultaneously playing multiple instruments strapped to her body, including a harmonica, a banjo and an accordion.]
Twilight: Pinkie? We're in the middle of a crisis here! This is no time fo-
[Suddenly, the accordion detaches from Pinkie and falls to the ground]
Pinkie: Shoot!
Director: [From inside a protective suit] DAMNIT PINKIE!
(Credit to GuardianAngel1234567)
Copyright Issues
Take 1
[As Pinkie marches down the road, the tune she plays on her wide assortment of instruments seems a little different than it did during rehearsals]
Director: Cut! Pinkie, what do you think you're doing?
Pinkie: Walking through a town in the midst of destruction whilst putting on a one-pony band performance to lure little fluffy pests away from an important celebration. Didn't you read the script, sir?
Director: [Sighs] No, why are you playing Louis Armstrong's When the Saint Go Marching In?
Pinkie: Ooh! You know your music, Mr. Director!
Director: Pinkie!
Pinkie: Okay! I just thought it was a little cooler than the song I rehearsed, and I already knew it, so I thought it would be a fun surprise if I came out and played it without anyone knowing about it.
Director: Good grief. Pinkie, do you know what copyright means?
Pinkie: Er... I know it has something to do with people's online videos getting taken down, and also that no one seems to like it. But that's about it.
Director: Basically, it means that if you don't have the rights to use something then you can get into trouble if the folks who own it find out about it. And we don't have the rights to use that song, so that's why we composed our own for you. Plus, it's a way for the music team to show off some more.
Pinkie: Oooooh! I get it now! Is that why you didn't make me play the Disney Pied Piper song, 'cause I thought that was a pretty silly oversight.
Incompetent Equines
[Pinkie Pie leads the parasprites out of town with the rest of the mane six following behind, all wearing perplexed expressions on their faces. Twilight suddenly points up into the air]
Twilight: Look!
[Princess Celestia's chariot descends from above, being led by four white pegasus guards. However, the pegasi brake too hard as they land, causing the princess to lurch forward and tumble right off the chariot.
Director: CUUUT! Celestia, are you alright?
[Celestia dazedly gets to her hooves.]
Celestia: I'm fine... just a little shocked.
Director: Goddamnit guys, you can't land right!? You're frigging pegasi!
Guard #1: Hey, you try judging how slowly you need to land whilst wearing this heavy armor.
Guard #2: It's our first day on the job! Give us a break!
(Credit to Brandon Vortex)
Princess of Terrible Line Delivery
Take 1
[The mane six (sans Pinkie) all bow down before Princess Celestia as she steps off the chariot]
Celestia: Twilight Sparkle, my prized pupil.
Twilight: [sits up] Hello, Princess!
Celestia: So... [she freezes with her mouth agape] I-it's so... um... [she looks over her shoulder toward a nearby clump of bushes] What's the adjective I'm looking for?
Luna: [pokes her head out from the leaves] Lovely! Lovely!
Celestia: Thank you!
Director: Try again.
Take 2
Celestia: So lovely to see you... er... once more?
Luna: [Still in the bushes] Again!
Celestia: Shoot! I knew it was one of those two.
Director: Luna, will you get out of those shrubs. There's no point in you hiding from us if you're going to scream at your sister every twenty seconds.
Luna: [Slinks out of the bushes] It's more fun this way...
Take 3
Celestia: So lovely to see you again, along with-
Luna: As well as!
Celestia: At least that one wasn't that far off the actual line.
Take 4
[After managing to get through a good chunk of the scene without making a mistake...]
Celestia: I'm awfully privileged that you and the wonderful residents of Ponyville have arranged a parade in celebration of my visit.
Director: [Sighs and glares at the script]
Luna: She didn't technically get the line wrong. Different words- same meaning.
Director: I know, that's why I'm torn on whether I should keep it or put the words on a teleprompter for her.
Pierre: Sir, we don't have a teleprompter.
Director: Good. Let's be real, if we did it would've probably been destroyed by now.
Closing Calamity
Twilight: [To Pinkie Pie, after Celestia leaves on her chariot] You're a great friend, even if we don't always understand you.
Pinkie: Thanks guys, you're all great friends too... even when I don't understand me.
Twilight: You saved my reputation with Princess Celestia, and more importantly, you saved Ponyville!
[The scene then transitions from the edge of Ponyville to the town square, where the set has been almost completely destroyed. The ponies stare in awe at the cataclysmic destruction around them.]
Twilight: ...or not.
[Pinkie Pie then pops up in front of the camera and begins to play a sad tune on her trombone... but before she can finish, a large chunk of debris falls from one of the buildings and lands right on Pinkie's head, knocking her to the ground, unconscious.]
Pierre: Sir?
Director: Yes?
Pierre: As soon as we get out of here I'm going to beat the heck out of you for putting us all through this!
Director: You think I wasn't going to do that to myself anyway!? We're going to have to pay for the set with our own paychecks.
[Suddenly every single set of eyes in the room (aside from the unconscious Pinkie Pie) locks onto the director.]
[Beat]
Director: Oh... oh God...
Rainbow Dash: GET HIIIIIIIM!
[Everyone charges at the director, screaming for his head, while the director unsuccessfully pleads for mercy.]
Endnote: First of all, congrats to Brandon Vortex for being the 100th reviewer! Have a *cyberhug*! The next episode is Winter Wrap Up, so if you have any idea for bloopers send them in via a PM or review.
Here we are! The first endnote I've written as an ex-brony. I may not watch the show anymore but it still holds a special place in my heart after all the years I've spent adoring the proverbial ground the show proverbially walked on. Again, sorry that this took so long, but I hope to get back into the swing of things after taking a long break from all things MLP, and I hope those of you watching season eight are enjoying it. I love writing these bloopers and I love getting all these amazing requests from you guys; I love fanfics that get the audience involved as it gives people a chance to see what creativity can come from the reviews you leave. I particularly liked Brandon Vortex's suggestion to make Celestia keep forgetting her lines, because it gave me an idea for a running joke where she keeps using synonyms of the scripted words and needs help to get the lines correct. More on this in a bit.
You see, over here in the UK there's a fictional theatre group called the Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society which performs these hilarious plays that intentionally go wrong. The three plays they have done so far are The Play That Goes Wrong, A Christmas Carol Goes Wrong and Peter Pan Goes Wrong, the last of which you can watch on YouTube at the current time (I highly recommend it). Watching their plays is what finally convinced me to stop sulking and get back to writing this because their style of humor is exactly what I'm going for with this story. What Brandon Vortex's suggestion reminded me of was one of the characters in these plays that constantly forgets his lines and needs assistance to remember what he's meant to say (i.e. a headset or a note on his hand). I feel like Celestia of all characters would be a great choice to give this kind of joke to, seeing as she's the one that everyone in-universe looks to for guidance.
Mouse's Musings: You may have noticed that I usually pick one character (usually a member of the mane six) to torture in each chapter, but this time I felt like I could use the scenario in the episode to torture everyone! It was loads of fun ^u^! Anyhoo, so let's talk about Swarm of the Century.
I like this episode a lot. Much more than Bridle Gossip anyway, which I find kind of odd because this episode shares a lot of the same problems as Bridle Gossip. For example, the mane characters all seem out of sorts again- not in the sense that they're acting out-of-character, but more in the sense that they're irritating to watch regardless. First, I'll address the elephant in the room; that being that everything that goes wrong in this episode could have been solved if Pinkie had just explained to Twilight what parasprites were and what they could do (for that matter, how did Twilight not know what parasprites were? Or Fluttershy for that matter?) Pinkie is my favorite of the Mane Six, but she's written inconsistently a lot of the time, particularly in later seasons, and I can understand why some people find her obnoxious and annoying even if she personally makes me happy.
I also love the humor in this episode- it seems more well-timed than the jokes in previous episodes and none of them fall flat (at least for me). I can be very forgiving of a piece of media if it makes me laugh, and this episode is no exception- yeah, the problem could have been solved if Pinkie had just told everypony what to do from the off, but then we would have missed some of the best humour in season one.