The first thirty minutes of our drive back to Cardiff were silent. The cold scilence that you get when one persone is thinking something important over *Jack* and when the other is just staring out the window wondering when the other person is going to ask the question you just know they're going to ask, dying to ask. And you dread it. *Me* Waiting for him to speak i absently traced patterns on my thigh and counted the passing cars on the other side of the road. He cleared his throat and i turned to him.

"You never told me you had another boyfriend."

'Did Jack just call himself my boyfriend?' i asked myself. He had never done that before. "Oh." i recovered, "Well, matt and i, it wasent a relationship. Just a really good friendship. Gwen might call him a friend with benifits." Jacks muscles tightend as i said that, he glanced over at me quickly and then back at the road.

"Friend with benifits? You mean, you did everything people in relationships do except without saying you loved each other or making comitments." he said accusingly. I shrugged my shoulders.

"It's a bit diffrent from that. The scars from him biting me, totally on purpose. We just liked to fool around. Not, ya know, shag or anything. Not make out even." i sighed and looked back out the window, it was complicated.

"Go on." Jack said gripping the steering wheel a little more tightly than was needed.

"We said we loved each other. But it wasnet love, not like you and me, no it was more of 'oh im so glad your my best mate in the world' thing. And we kissed a bit, and it didnt mean a thing. Just pecks here and there. Matt is a really sensetive guy, he's not even gay Jack." i took my lovers hand and held it in my own. Feeling the warm pulse felt good and a gently caressed it with my thumb letting him know i was here. Letting myself know that he was here too. "Havent you ever had a friend that was so close. Closer that dating could ever bring two people, no matter how good they seemed to fit. " He nodded but still didnt look my way.

"You." Jack whispered just loud enough for me to hear. It surprised me, i didnt know i meant that much to him. He meant that much to me but i never reallly knew. I mentally kicked myself for not.

"Jack. I love you soo much. And you mean soo much to me." i said kissing the closed fingers. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Yan, you just dont know how much you honestly mean to me. I would go to the ends of the universe for you. I love you." he said back in a quiet voice. I could tell i'd stung him a little bit by telling him about matthew. It was silent for a few more minutes.

I cleared my throat,"It wouldnt help to say that it was all his idea and we just kissed to get it out of the way. Being 16 and never been kissed is kind of strange from where i grew up." Jack smiled and i could tell the sting was mostly gone, glad i smiled a bit myself. He squeezed my hand and kissed each of the fingers, lightly sucking on the ends of each.

"Welll, only if you insist Mr. Jones." his voice was lighthearted and playfull and i couldnt help but laugh a bit.

"Oh, im afraid i must insist ."