Vala's mind was swimming with all sorts of emotions. For Daniel to see her disfigured had set her on a down spiral of dark analysis. In her mind it wasn't the way she looked as much as her feelings of her friends and especially Daniel pitying her. Vala loathed any pity towards her life. She had fought long and hard to have a life where no one knew her past, at least on earth. She had friends, a home, possibly a promising relationship with Daniel. But after Adria was destroyed, Tomin leaving to reconstruct his life, and Daniel not really pursuing a serious relationship with her at the time, she closed herself off to those who cared about her. She felt empty and the last mission she was on with SG1 had left her even more alienated being alone after her entire team was down with the flu.
She really didn't have anyone to relate to, or talk to about losing a somewhat daughter. It had hurt her immensely that no one understood that she helped destroy the only imprint of a family member. The birth was definitely a disappointment of Adria, and then to wipe her out as if it was a everyday occurrence. They had celebrated at SGC that the threat of the Ori was now over and their leader, her daughter was dead. Her friends understood why she stayed in her room when the news spread, and Daniel had made sure he didn't disturb her for that very reason. But he never allowed himself to come by and comfort her at all. Vala needed that someone, even if she couldn't admit she did. But the opportunity had passed for her friends to be there, and it hurt.
Now her thoughts were to just die and be done with it. She never gave a thought to her own life, when it came to saving innocent lives and she would do it all over again when it came to children's lives. Any child that she could no longer have, was personal, and she thought of the Tauri's expression of repentance for her past misdeeds was justified by her injuries. At least her mind concept was that she is paying for her sins in the worst way.
Her one connection to life right now, was the soft melodic sound of Tena. For some reason she felt a connection to this child. Something she so desperately wanted with Adria, and would never have. She could somehow feel connected to the world and Tena soothed her dark recesses of her memories. She could hear Tena with her mind, and Tena allowed her to open up about why she felt less deserving of life. Tena had now found a way past her despair. Tena could hear Vala's thoughts. Vala still could not speak very well from the smoke inhalation. The fire had both damaged her body and throat.
I feel your pain. You no longer need to hide. We will take care of you Vala.
You……you know my name?
Yes; there were strangers here asking for you. The one called Daniel told Nala. Vala's thoughts about Daniel were anguished, but brief. She didn't want to dwell long on him at all.
Who……who are you? I seem to remember something about you.
My name is Tena. You saved my friends in the school. There was a fire and I saw you rescue them. But you were trapped after saving the last of my friends. I….I could not let you die.
There was silence in Vala's mind. Tena could feel her struggle with her feelings.
You didn't do anyone any favors. Silence again.
Your friends don't understand what you are. You are Pase' Onwa, the protected one. You are a hero and sacred to our people. We will always take care of you. No one will thinks otherwise. You saved my friends. They are the only one who are not afraid of me, other than Nala.
Why would anyone be afraid of a chil…….. Vala thought about Adria for a moment. Just for a moment.
Why are they afraid of you?
They say……..
See, now who's hiding?
They say I am strange, the older ones. They say I hurt my fathers friend. I…..I don't remember. I……I have a gift; my father said so. Nala said I have a gift. She is the healer who helped you.
Does this gift give you the power to read thoughts?
I….I guess. I have only been able to do this with you only. I….I don't know how I'm doing it, but I'm glad it's with you.
Silence again from Vala. Tena continued her mind connection with Vala. She felt that Vala was special and wanted to help her.
Tena…….I……I don't want to burden anyone. Don't…….don't let me suffer. I……I can't live like this. Not like this.
No…..no you must not think that way. I like you and you are special. The people love you and respect you. This is our way…….so I've been told.
Vala's natural curiosity was peaked. Why do you say that?
I was not born here. I was told I was found by Nala and my father was told by Nala to adopt me. She believed that I was gifted, so I have lived here ever since.
Tena could feel Vala mulling over her background. Vala had a thought briefly of why Tena may be able to read her mind, but it was foggy at best.
Tena, I'm tired and numb. I think I want to sleep now. I…….I think we can talk later, if that's alright?
Yes, I would like that very much Vala.
Tena?
Yes?
Keep this gift a secret for now. I think it's important right now. I don't know why, but I may have some answers.
Ok……I will be here when you wake. Nala will make sure your bandages are changed. We must take care of you; ok?
When Tena didn't receive an answer, her link with Vala was gone. Tena looked down and Vala was already asleep.
TBC