Chapter 10: How to save a life

Disclaimer: Any character you recognize I do not own.

AN: Unbeta'ed so all mistakes are mine.

As he begins to raise his voice you lower yours and grant him one last choice

Drive until you lose the road or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things

He will admit to everything or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came

How to Save a Life, The Fray

Chin has been debating with himself for the last 20 minutes on whether to get out of the car to knock on the door or just drive away. The minute he heard that he was back he'd been out of the house (much to Malia's dismay) and driving out to their team leader's house. But when he gets there he finds himself just sitting in his car and gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles are white.

He reaches out to start his car again when the door to the house opens and takes the choice away from him. And before he can think further, he's opening the car door and walking fast to meet the guy he wants to see with hands clenched into fists.

But just when he's about to punch Steve in the face he notices the other man's appearance and all the anger he's kept bottled inside of him ever since he saw the videos just leaves him.

"Do it!" Steve shouts at him, getting into his face and daring him to do what he's come here to do.

And for a split second he is tempted. Because he's Kono's cousin and he's been her protector since she was a kid. But the haunted expression on the other man's eyes and the gauntness of his face tells him that Steve has already punished himself far worse than his fists ever could.

"Do it…" Steve repeats the words in a whisper before he is literally crumpling before Chin.

He manages to catch the former Navy SEAL just before he hits the ground.

Danny almost drives himself into a wreck in his haste to get to Steve's house. Malia had called him frantically telling him to stop Chin from doing something she knows he'll regret. And given what they both know (Chin having had to tell his wife about the videos), he can very well imagine how volatile the situation between his two teammates could get.

He's about five minutes out when his cellphone rings.

"Chin!" He answers quickly. "Where are you? I know you heard that Steve's…" he trails off when he sees the older man's car parked outside the McGarrett residence. Quickly scrambling out of the car before he's even fully parked it, he runs towards the house expecting the worst.

He stops abruptly at the sight before him.

"Please tell me you didn't do that to him?"

Chin just shakes his head solemnly. "I wanted to…" the older man whispers.

Danny's relief at hearing this is short lived however because he finally sees the state their team leader is in as he walks further into the house. "What the hell happened to him?" He asks with brows furrowing in confusion as he notes Steve's gauntness and his unkempt look. "Is that blood on his shirt?"

Chin sighs. "He's been hurt…"

"Shouldn't we take him to the hospital?" Danny asks.

"I called Max."

Danny starts to argue but stops as he realizes why Chin did what he did. They both didn't know how Steve came to be in this state and bringing him to the hospital would invite questions they could do without…at least not yet. Particularly since the Governor had been up their ass asking where Steve was, seeing that he'd only asked for a week off and he'd been gone for three months already.

It was week two of his absence when they started to wonder why they hadn't heard back from him. And when they finally called Kono to ask for his whereabouts, they were surprised to realize that he'd only stayed there for two days before seemingly dropping off the face of the earth. Even Catherine, with resources at her fingertips hadn't been able to locate him. And now that he's finally shown up, he looks like hell warmed over and injured to boot.

"How did you know he was back?" Danny asks.

"He called me."

To say that he's surprised at this is an understatement, but before he could ask further, they both hear the knock on the door signaling that Max has arrived.

"He's been shot. Twice. The one on his shoulder indicates that he'd been shot from the front, the bullet cleanly exiting in the back. The one on his right thigh seems to have been from the back. No exit wound which either means the bullet's still in him, hence the fever, or it had been taken out in less than ideal conditions, again, hence the fever."

"Can you fix him?" Danny asks.

"Is there a reason why we shouldn't take him to the hospital?" Max asks without any inflection in his voice.

Both men don't say anything.

"I'll take that as a yes then."

"You look like hell." Danny tells him bluntly the minute he opens his eyes to see his partner calmly sitting on a chair propped against the wall in his bedroom.

"Yeah? Well I feel like it too." He thinks but doesn't say it out loud. Instead he asks, "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing he…are you f*cking kidding me?" Danny stands quickly in agitation.

"I'm on leave." He replies succinctly before grimacing as pain from his wounds hit him as he moves to sit up. "How do you even know I'm back?"

Danny looks like he's about to shout something at him but then visibly controls himself. "Oh, so Chin gets to know you're back and I don't?"

He ignores Danny's question and asks, "Where is Chin?"

"I sent him home. To his wife. Who is pregnant! And who happened to get worried sick because Chin high tailed it to here so fast with murder in his eyes!"

He winces as his partner gets progressively louder with each word. "I take it he didn't succeed then…" He answers facetiously.

"You think that's funny? Chin could have…"

He flinches at the censure in his partner's voice. "Probably be better if he did."

It is then that he sees the anger drain from Danny's face. "Listen, I understand what…"

"You understand nothing!" He cuts off Danny with a tired voice.

"Oh but I do." The blonde detective couldn't help but lash back.

He looks at his partner in surprise and when he sees his expression he knows that something monumental has happened while he'd been away. "You do?" He asks slowly.

There's a long pause before Danny sighs loudly and sits back down again. "There were videos…"

"I…" He's not quite sure what to say. Part of the reason why he'd called Chin first was so he could come clean to the older man about his part in driving his cousin away. But when he'd seen through his window that the older man seemed reluctant to get out of his car, he'd come out to ask and had been surprised earlier at the anger in Chin's face when he had seen him and he now realizes why. "Did he…"

"They were sent to him."

The knowledge should have devastated him but all he feels is relief that it's finally out in the open. "So now you both know."

"Steve…"

"He probably hates me." He wonders aloud before looking at his partner again. "You probably hate me."

"Steve…"

"If it's any consolation, you both can't possibly hate me more than I hate myself…"

"We don…"

"Or more than Kono hates me…" He cuts him off and looks away.

"You know she doesn't."

He looks back at his partner at that assertion. "She does."

"She was worried when you were gone…we all were."

He laughs humorlessly. "Look, I appreciate that you're trying to make me feel better. But you don't need to lie. I know she hates me. I saw her remember?"

"Is that why you dropped off the face of the earth?"

He looks away and doesn't say anything. "Just leave Danny."

"No, Steven! I won't f*cking leave."

He'd throw him out but he's too tired and too sore. "Suit yourself." He mutters and closes his eyes but remains sitting up on the bed.

"The Governor's been all up our ass looking for you."

He doesn't want to answer but he knows Danny will just keep at it until he says something. "I'm on leave." He repeats his earlier assertion.

"For a week! You asked him for one week! It's been three f*cking months without any word of where you were or if you would even come back!"

"I was busy."

"Doing what? Getting yourself shot?"

"What the f*ck do you want from me Danny?"

"An explanation would be nice."

"I don't owe you one."

"No, you f*cking piece of sh*t! You do owe us an explanation. You know why? Because the last time I checked, you were our Team Leader! Would it have killed you to call first? Or I don't know…leave another letter? Email?"

"Fine! You want an explanation? Here's my explanation! Kono got kidnapped because of me. And then as if that isn't enough. I then f*cking raped her because if I hadn't, they would have. So now she hates me! Do I want to die because of that? Yes! Am I trying to kill myself? No! Not until I kill WoFat with my bare hands." The words, bitter and vitriolic comes flying out of his mouth. "Where did I go? I went to find the bastard because I can't f*cking die yet until I have his head on a pike!"

"It's not your fault she was kidnapped. You were both taken…"

"You really don't get it do you?"

"What? That you have some messianic complex that makes you want to take the blame for everything? Kono's a cop. She knew the risks…"

"But don't you see? It's not because she's a cop that WoFat took her! It's because I lo…" He stops himself from completing the sentence. "It doesn't matter…not anymore." He finishes instead and hopes Danny takes the hint and just leaves him alone.

There is a moment of silence before Danny's voice comes out in a whisper, "It was you…"

"What?" He asks despite himself.

"You're the guy she was seeing…"

"I…" He thinks to deny it but realizes there was no point. After everything that has happened. After everything that he's done…the fact that he'd crossed that particular line is the least of his sins. "We tried to keep it low-key…she…she wanted time to tell Chin…" He finally admits. "But then he escaped…"

"Steve…"

"So I tried to protect her by breaking it off with her…I thought because we kept us a secret that he wouldn't know…" He tells himself to stop talking, but it's as though the dam had broken and the words just keep coming out of his mouth. "But the joke's on me because guess what? He took her anyway. And then he hurt her and threatened to…" It is then that he's unable to continue. "I'm so f*cked up."

"You need to let it go." Danny tells him quietly.

"I can't."

"You have to, because otherwise, that bastard wins."

He ignores what his partner just said. Instead he tells him. "I'm leaving H50."

"And then what? You're gonna spend the rest of your life hunting WoFat down?"

He doesn't bother answering.

"Look at you! You can barely stand up. Max had to cut you open again because that wound in your leg got infected."

"It'll heal."

"Yes and then you're going to get hurt again. Sure, you'll probably heal again but sooner or later, the odds are going to catch up with you. Because guess what? He's got men he can send out to kill you. And you may look the part but you're not Rambo."

"I can just as easily end up dead chasing criminals with H50." He points out.

"That may be true. But at least here you have us as backup."

"What do you want me to do, huh, Danny? You want me to just pretend everything's normal. You want me to forget that WoFat's still out there? Because I can't!" He finally shouts.

"That's not…I didn't say that."

"Then tell me Danny. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you don't have to do it alone."

Danny's quietly spoken entreaty cuts through his anger. "I can't have any more people ending up hurt because of me."

"Get over yourself." Danny snaps at him. "You're not that special."

"What?" he asks incredulously.

"You think you're the only one who hates WoFat's guts? Try Chin. Or Kono! Heck, you think I don't hate him too? Because I do. We all do! But you don't see any of us going half-cocked and running around blind trying to find a needle in a haystack with a large f*cking target behind our backs. So just stop being a melodramatic bitch already, go do your f*cking job and let us help you!"

He thinks maybe it's Danny's disgruntled expression that does it…that or the fact that he just called him a bitch. But he suddenly finds himself laughing. And he is so surprised because it's been a while since he heard his own laugh. And it's with relief that he realizes that after everything that's happened, he still can.

AN: I know this is probably not the chapter you were expecting to read but I wanted to explore how Danny and Chin knowing what happened might affect the team's dynamic and this is what my fingers ended up typing. I do hope though that Danny and Steve weren't too OoC here – feel free to tell me otherwise – I welcome feedback good or bad (really!). =) Anyway, I'll try to keep at least a chapter update every week (fingers crossed) and if I fail, I hope you'll all be patient with me and continue reading anyway. Thanks again for the feedback and alerts and favorites. *hugs to all*