DISC.: don't own Eddie, Jonathan, Harley, or Ivy
Maybe if I close my eyes really tight they'll go away.
Yeah.
And then I'll open them and they'll be gone, and this will all have just been a bad, pain-killer induced dream…
"Hey, Proffesah, why ya squeezen' your eyes shut an' mumblin' like that?"
The Scarecrow groaned. It was no use, they were still there.
"Harley, why don't you go watch cartoons or something?" asked a red-haired woman who had just entered the room.
Harley got up from her position on the bed, barely an inch from the Master of Fear's side.
"I dunno… I think he's delirious or somethen'. He keeps moanin' an' stuff."
The woman by the door rolled her eyes. "Just go, Harl. I'll take care of him."
Crane's eyes snapped open. "'take care of him'?" That didn't sound good at all.
"LOOKLOOKLOOK!" Harley screeched directly into his ear. "HE'S AWAKE! HIS EYES ARE OPEN! NOW WE CAN SEE IF HE'S DELIRIOUS! HEY, PROFFESAH! ARE YA DELIRIOUS?"
The red-head quickly made her way over to the bed.
"Harley, please! He just woke up."
Shows how much you know, Ivy. the Scarecrow thought miserably.
Pamela made a shooing motion at Harley. "Go." The child-like clown pouted, and began to get off the bed. "Oh, alright…" Then, much to the Master of Fear's chagrin, she jumped back up and threw her arms around his battered body, making his broken ribs throb painfully. "Get well soon, Proffesah!" she chirped happily, then, mercifully, let go and bounced out of the room. Jonathan didn't have much time to feel grateful. Pam was advancing towards him and he suddenly wished that he hadn't deliberately broken all of the heads off of those petunias the last time they'd met. Maybe she'd forgotten…
"H-hi, Pam." he started cautiously.
"Shut up, Crane."
Jonathan's mouth snapped shut. She remembered. His mind raced. Now what? He wasn't afraid. No. It was just…he didn't have his toxin handy…and she had lots of plants…and thorns…and vines only too eager to strangle him at a moments notice…
But he was fine.
The Master of Fear.
Fear incarnate.
Yeah.
Refusing to be intimidated, Jonathan stared up at Poison Ivy as she came closer.
"Listen closely, Crane," she hissed, "because I'm only going to say this once. The only reason I'm taking care of you, is that I owe the Riddler a favor. However," -she smiled wickedly- "I only promised I'd keep you alive."
Uh-oh…
Before Jonathan could react, Ivy turned to the doorway, one hand cupped around her mouth. "Oh, Haa-aaarlee-eey," she sang.
"No!" Jonathan cried. "Please…I'll do whatever you want! Well…maybe not 'whatever'…but I'll do something! Just don't let her near me!" Pam smiled again. "Tempting offer…but I think this will be much more fun to watch."
Just then, Harley Quin bounded into the room. "Yeah?"
Pam's smile grew. "How would you like to show Jonathan your babies? I hear pet-therapy is very affective." The Master of Fear's eyes widened in horror. "No! I…" But it was too late. With an exuberant "Ok!", Harley Quin had run to get the hyenas.
?
Edward Nygma was exceedingly irritated, and getting more so by the second. He'd scoured the dirty back-road, where he'd first found the Scarecrow, countless times and come up empty every time. There was simply nothing there. "Riddle me this," the Prince of Puzzles mumbled to himself as he traced a gloved finger through the grit along the alley, "doesn't the criminal always come back to the scene of the crime?"
Apparently not.
It was getting late, and it was beginning to rain. He should really be heading back, but first he'd pick up something for supper. He didn't feel like cooking tonight.
The Riddler hoped Jonathan liked Chinese food.
?
The Scarecrow would have gladly eaten anything if it meant that he could be away from Harley's "babies" for even a few minutes.
The "babies" on the other hand,- "Bud" and "Lou", twin overly-friendly hyenas- were only too happy to lay on either side of the Master of Fear and slobber all over his ears. He'd try to push them away multiple times, but the gesture registered in the animal's tiny brains as a friendly touch, and they, thinking it was a game, slobbered all the more. Jonathan shoved Lou (or was it Bud?) away again. "I am the Master of Fear! Not a chew toy! Get off!" Bud (or was it Lou?) gave him a sound lick across the face, making one side of his hair stand up as if gelled. "AUGH! LEAVE ME ALONE! SHUT UP, IVEY!" Pam, sitting just out of reach of the Scarecrow's spindly arms, was getting quite a kick out of the spectacle. Jonathan stopped struggling for a minute, breathing heavily and clutching a hand to his ribs. Why, out of all the people and rogues in Gotham City, did things like this always have to happen to him? He hadn't even done anything recently! Why, why, why…
"Aw, come on, Proffesah, they like you!" Harley weedled from her perch beside Ivy. "Yeah? Well I don't like them! Get them away from me!"
Harley turned uneasily to Pamela. "Maybe I should…" But Ivy cut her off, shaking her head. "It's all part of the therapy. He'll be cured in no time!" Harley looked unconvinced. Then she shrugged. "Ok! Whateva ya say."
Jonathan's eye twitched. She couldn't be serious! She was just going to let these mongrels slobber all over him…"
Then, just when the Master of Fear felt he could stand it no longer, the door opened and the Riddler stepped into the room with a flourish. "I'm back!" he announced, wringing out his dark green trench-coat. "Honestly, you'd think Gotham could stand a night without rain…"
"EDDIE!" Jonathan exclaimed with obvious delight. The Riddler stared at him like he'd just announced a deep heart-felt love for My Little Pony. The Scarecrow blinked. "I…um…I mean…where have you been?"
?
"Well," Eddie chuckled, after Harley, Ivy, and the hyenas had left, "You certainly seemed to have missed me." Jonathan glared into his Chinese food carton. "I prefer you to Harley's pets." The Riddler grinned. "Well, thank you, I'm honored."
The Scarecrow grimaced. "I didn't…I mean…I….oh, go away, I'm tired."