Chapter 10 – Lily's Pain

After a couple of weeks, everyone in the Cullen house noticed the change in Lily. She'd started hunting by herself, Jake had stopped coming around and Lily wasn't her carefree self anymore. Things had changed drastically. They weren't really ones to pry, but with the change in Lily's whole attitude and the general feelings the Cullen's were getting from her; they knew it couldn't be good.

Emmett ended up following Lily one day while she went hunting alone again. He watched from a far distance away. She kicked off her shoes and pulled her socks off as well as she pushed them into the shoes and also dropped her cell phone in one of her sneakers. She pushed ear buds into her ears and hit the play button on her MP3 player and she just started walking. She had no rhyme or reason or even pattern, she just walked.

Emmett's golden eyes watched as she slowly climbed a tree and squat down on a huge tree limb. He soon got his answer as to why when a huge buck came walking by as she jumped down and grabbed the animal's antlers and snapped its neck like a toothpick. Most people didn't understand what kind of strength she had. He watched as she had her fill of the animal's blood before she buried it and then stepped over to a stream that was nearby and washed off her face and hands. You could never tell when she'd been hunting because she always came back so clean and spotless.

"You can stop stalking me Emmett."

Emmett was pulled from his thoughts as he smirked. He flashed over and stood next to Lily. "I wasn't stalking Lil, I was just watching out for you. You know, were all worried about you; you can talk to any of us about anything."

Lily smiled softly as she looked at Emmett. "Thanks big guy." She patted his shoulder. "I'm fine though. I just made a complete mess of everything." She frowned. "Jake and I blew up at each other and I'm pretty sure it's my fault. It's been three weeks since I've heard anything from Lucy and I'm scared the Volturi got to her. I'm just so confused Emmett."

Emmett frowned knowing her sister meant everything to her. Lily was in a class all on her own. Even with all the shit she'd been through when the Volturi had her she still wasn't scared of them; if anything she was always ready for a fight with them. They knew the Volturi had put her through more than she was willing to talk about and knew it would be up to her to talk about it when she was ready. No one was held captive by the Volturi without being tortured or worse. They were sick and sadistic and only vampire's who were intelligent with their mentality got along with them. To them human's were as low as anyone could go and were on the bottom of the food chain.

Emmett nudged her shoulder. "C'mon lets go back to the house and you can talk to Bella, she's known Jake the longest and knows all his wolfie secrets. Maybe she can help with him."

Lily nodded. "I doubt it but anything is possible."

The twosome turned back towards the house and stopped on their way and grabbed Lily's socks, shoes and cell phone.

Emmett broke the silence. "So I know you're Jake's imprint; what's it like?"

Lily smiled at her memories from the last couple of months. "It was every happy emotion all at once. Looking him in the eyes and knowing there wasn't anyone else out there that was made specifically for me." She sighed softly. "His kisses made me weak kneed. Me? Of all people I don't feel weak or get weak over anything. And my legs were COMPLETE jell-o when he finished kissing me. It was the best feeling in the world. It was innocent and fun and I don't think I'll ever feel like that with anyone else."

Emmett smirked. "So was it love?"

Lily frowned as her eyes fell to the ground. "I – I don't know. It doesn't really matter now anyways. Who falls in love after a couple of months? That would just be crazy."

Wow Emmett could see the denial all over her. He nodded as he showed off a fake smile. He could already tell Lily was in love with Jacob Black. It was easy to see the hurt written all over her face, but he dared not push the issue.

A few hours later Bella sat in front of Lily with a shocked look on her face. Her mouth was almost hanging open as the shocked look even reached her eyes. When she finally found her tongue she shook her head. "Lily didn't Jake ever explain what the imprint was all about?"

Lily shrugged. "I got most of it from crawling around in his head when I would touch him, but no he never really got to it. I don't know if he was waiting to make sure things between us were going to work or I don't. But what could I possibly be missing?"

Bella shook her head. "Lily, imprinting is much more than just finding the soul mate. It's everything. It's gravity. It's oxygen. It's everything you've ever imagined love is only it's real. Jake will be whatever you need him to be. If you need a friend or a brother then he will. If you want to be his girlfriend or his wife someday then that's exactly what will happen. But first and foremost he will be a protector. He will put you before the pack; he will put you before the safety of the Quileute reservation and he's the next chief. The imprint is the most important person in the wolf's life; the future mother of his children."

Bella sighed heavily as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Put it this way. If Paul would've accidentally killed you when he phased and tried to attack you; Jake would've had no other alternative but to kill him. They would've literally had to fight to the death; he would have to avenge your death. He's never going to imprint on someone else and he'll NEVER love anyone as much as he loves you. And yea he might be pissed off right now, but eventually the pain will outweigh the pride. You've both been holding back, he hasn't completely opened up to you about the tribe or imprinting clearly, just like he has no clue what your life was like before you got to Forks. You were both lagging."

Lily frowned. "I don't really relish talking about my life before Forks. I don't even like remember that time. I want to keep the good memories of my parents and sister fresh and the bad revolting memories with the Volturi in the trash can in my head. I don't want Jake to know what I went through in Italy." Lily blinked as stray tears slid down her cheeks. "I hate that I was so weak and couldn't stop those things from happening. But I got stronger and I hate them with a fiery passion that not even ten thousand gallons of water could drown out."

Emmett stood with his arms crossed over his chest as he and the rest of the Cullen's listened and watched the interaction between Bella and Lily. Emmett grumbled. "What aren't you telling us? You're keeping something inside Lil."

Lily's frown deepened as she stood up and reluctantly unbuttoned and then unzipped her jeans as she peeled them open to reveal her black panties. "Don't worry I'm not stripping so you guys don't have to look away." Her eyes landed on all the males in the room. She pushed the cotton material of her boy cut shorts down and exposed her right hip.

Several gasps were audibly let out throughout the room. The skin on her hip was extended and as all their excellent vision enhanced eyes focused on it. The capital V with the shield in the middle was the undeniable signature of the Volturi Crest which had apparently been branded into her skin.

Lily took a deep shaky breath. "The night I got this, I was injected with some kind of nerve agent and I couldn't move. I was shackled to a wall after my parents had been killed. Felix, Demetri and a couple of other Volturi guards took a lot of pleasure in branding me that night. Of course they took a lot of pleasure in doing more than just branding me as well. As long as the nerve agent was in my system they did as they pleased for a few hours. They didn't see a seventeen year old virgin in front of them. They saw a play toy. And that's exactly what I was to them for the few months I was with them. It was disgusting and vile and I never want Jake to know I'm damaged. I mean he knows I'm not a virgin, he just doesn't know how or why. And I'd prefer it stay that way…forever."

Lily walked out of the house deciding she could use a run or walk or just fresh air in general. She needed to just be alone for a while.

All of the Cullen's eyes were staring at the empty space where Lily had just been. The only one who left the room afterwards was Rosalie. Emmett went looking for her to make sure she was ok, knowing she'd suffered the same fate as Lily had.

The Cullen's could only hope they could help Lily past any obstacles and get her back to Jake. He'd be the one who could heal her. He'd be the only one to heal her.

Lily stood in the open field as day turned to night and she laid in the grass enjoying the feel of it. Relaxation is what she needed and that's just what she was going to do.