Chapter 10 – date night and dreams

It was a Saturday afternoon and Alex decided to surprise Piper at the end of her shift at the library. Alex saw Piper putting books back onto shelves, walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, "Hey Pipes," Alex was all smiles today. It had been a rough couple of months and she decided to treat Piper to a proper date night.

"Hey Al," Piper turned around to kiss Alex hello, "what are you doing here?"

"Well, I decided that we could use some fun. So I'm taking you out tonight, just you and me."

Piper couldn't help the huge smile from spreading across her face, "Alex that's so sweet. Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, but I'm pretty sure you'll like it. So come on, let's go."

"Ok, are we going home first?"

"Nope, I've got everything you need right here," said Alex as she pointed to her large backpack. "But first, I thought you might want to change your clothes," Alex pulled jeans and a plain white v neck from the backpack.

"I have to say, this is probably the most organised I've ever seen you!"

"Don't get too used to it, go change already." Piper rushed off to change out of her uniform and then walked back to her car with Alex. Alex insisted on taking the car keys and driving Piper to their destination. Alex drove them to the parklands that weren't too far from their apartment block, and got out of the car. "Alex, what the hell are we doing here?"

"You'll see." Then as they walked towards the middle of the park, Piper realised what they were doing. The weather had just started to warm up again, which meant the outdoor cinema sessions were starting up for the summer months.

"Hey, how did you know I love moonlight cinema!"

"I took a stab in the dark." Alex couldn't keep the smirk off her face at this point, she loved seeing Piper happy and excited. Alex walked them to the entrance, got their tickets, and let Piper pick where she wanted to sit. Alex then unzipped her backpack and pulled out a picnic rug, which she set out for them. She then pulled out a bottle of water, a bottle of orange juice, and a variety of nibbles for them to share. She set them all out on the rug before inviting Piper to sit down.

"Al, this so sweet, I love it." Alex sat down behind Piper, getting Piper to sit between her long legs and lean against her. Piper leaned back to kiss Alex on the lips, "this is literally perfect Alex." The two girls sat like this while they waited for the sun to go down and the movie to start. They just sat there enjoying their food and drinks as they talked about the most random things. When the movie finally started Alex pulled Piper closer into her, wrapping her arms around the older woman.

As the final credits started to roll, Piper groaned, "Mmmhh, I really don't want to get up."

"So don't, we are in a public park, we can stay here as long as we like." The two girls sat there as the other movie goers all left. Alex noticed Piper starting to shiver, "Here, I never ended up using my jacket." Alex handed Piper her hoodie, which she immediately slipped on. She then resumed her previous position, lying into Alex. They sat there for the next hour, occasionally speaking but sitting in silence for the most part. They would occasionally kiss, but above all, Piper loved sitting in Alex's arms, feeling her hands run through Piper's hair. "Ok kid, I think it's home time, you're just about falling asleep." Alex pulled Piper up, and packed their things into the backpack. Alex took Piper's hand and led her back to the car.

"Thank you for tonight Alex, it was perfect." Alex just smiled at Piper as she drove them home. They arrived home around midnight, Piper went to have a shower at her apartment before going back to Alex's to sleep. Alex sat in the kitchen as she waited for Piper, drinking the last of their juice and reading an old newspaper Diane had left on the table. Alex heard a door opening and looked up to see Diane walking towards her, "Hey Alex, how was date night?" Diane sat down next to her daughter.

"It was great, like, really great." Diane just smiled at this. "I'm completely in love with her mum, I've never felt like this before."

"Alex, anyone can tell you two are crazy for each other. And I love having her around, she's a good person, and I can see how good she's been for you."

"Yeah, but I'm so afraid of fucking it up."

"You won't fuck this up Ally. And when you do make a mistake, all you need to do is talk to her about it. Both of you will make plenty of mistakes, trust me."

"I'm sure we will. But sometimes I worry that one day she'll wake up and wonder what the fuck she's doing with someone like me."

"Don't put yourself down like that, you are an amazing person Alex, that's all Piper cares about. And you treat her well. I've seen the change in you since you two have been together."

"Her parents aren't exactly thrilled about us being together."

"Fuck her parents, Piper is nothing like them. I'd love to know how two assholes like that managed to raise two kids like Piper and her brother. Piper loves you Alex, and who knows, maybe her parents will come around one day."

"I doubt it mum."

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Alex had a long shift the next day, the longest she'd had since getting out of hospital. She was getting tired, but she knew how much they needed the money now that they were solely relying on Diane's income again. Alex finished her shift at 10 pm after the dinner rush was over, at least it was a good night for tips. She left the café and started walking towards her bus stop. She barely walked one block before a person walked up to her from behind and grabber her arm. Alex was feeling jumpy with Robbie still on the loose, and quickly turned around in anger, "Let go of my fucking arm!" as she looked into the strangers face. It was a girl, maybe a few years older than Alex, but shorter and with shoulder length light brown hair.

"S s sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to make sure I caught you."

Alex looked the girl up and down, uncertainty in her eyes, "And why the hell did you want to catch me?"

"You're Alex, right?"

"Yeah, and you are?"

"My name is Emily. I'm, ummm….I"m Robbie's daughter." As soon as Alex heard those words her brain went into overdrive and she could feel her heart raging in her chest.

"How the fuck do you know who I am?"

"Look, it's kind of a long story, but I really need to talk to you. Can we go get a drink and talk? I promise I'll explain everything."

"Why, so you can put me in the hospital just like your dad?" Alex was not comfortable with this situation, she did not want to be near anyone that had any connection to that asshole.

"No, I'm sorry, it's not like that, I just really need to talk to you. He's not with me, I don't know where he is. I promise I'm not like him, just please, give me ten minutes."

Alex looked down the street, there were still plenty of people around. She figured she'd be safe so long as they stayed in a public place, "fine, let's go across the street for a drink, you've got ten minutes, and it's your shout." Emily looked relieved, and followed Alex across the street. They walked into the bar, Emily bought them a couple of beers, and they sat down at a booth near the door. Alex sipped her beer as she looked Emily in the eye, "Ok, so what do you want?"

Emily started very slowly, looking extremely nervous, "Like I said, Robbie is my dad, but I haven't seen him in a long time. He left me and my mum when I was still a kid." Alex just kept staring at her, saying nothing. "I haven't heard from him in years, but my mum still hears from him every now and then."

"Why does he contact your mum and not you?"

"We don't exactly get along." Said Emily as she kept her eyes trained on the table.

"I know the feeling…"

"So, my mum called me about a week ago. She said she'd heard from my dad and he was asking her for money, which she doesn't have much of. Anyway, he wouldn't tell her much, just that he'd left his girlfriend and wanted a fresh start." Alex noticed that Emily was constantly ripping up the serviette on the table, she was clearly very nervous. "Given our history with him, it kinda worried my mum. She kept asking him what happened but he wouldn't talk. All he'd say was that he'd met the love of his life at some restaurant and now it was all over." Emily took a long sip of her beer before continuing. "So, like I said, my mum was worried, so she went to the restaurant he mentioned and asked around about him. She met a woman that said she knew him, but didn't see him anymore, she said her name was Diane. I'm not sure how much they spoke, my mum's not so good with the details these days."

This story was not sitting well with Alex, she was feeling extremely uncomfortable, "and so how the fuck do you know who I am?"

Emily stuttered slightly before she managed to speak again, "I knew my mum wasn't giving me all the details, so I went to the restaurant last week and asked around about Diane. One of the waitresses said that she had a daughter who worked nearby at Orange, and that if I couldn't catch Diane I could probably catch you. So yeah, tonight I went to Orange and asked someone who Alex was, they pointed to you."

Alex wasn't sure what to think, this all sounded crazy, "And what exactly did you mean before about your history with him?"

Emily immediately looked uncomfortable, "We…..we never really got along. The older I got, the more he seemed to hate me."

"So what do you want with me?"

"I….I know I didn't get the whole story from my mum, but I can guess that something bad happened. And I just wanted to say that whatever happened, just be glad he's left. Don't try and chase him down, or try to drag him through the legal system. J j just be happy he's gone. If he's afraid of getting into trouble with the police, he won't be back."

Alex was struggling to process what Emily was saying, and started subconsciously rubbing her neck where the bruises used to be.

"L L looks like you didn't get along with him either."

Alex just shook her head, "he was a fucking asshole, I spent a week in the hospital because of him."

Emily looked genuinely sad, "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. Maybe we could meet up again, talk more about this stuff?" Alex wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but something was telling her she needed to get more information from this girl.

"Y y yeah, that would be nice." The girls exchanged mobile numbers before they finished their drinks. Emily left the bar, but Alex stayed behind. Her unexpected conversation with Emily left her confused and uncomfortable, she needed to talk to Piper, she knew it was late but called her anyway, no way was she catching the bus home after that. Piper finally answered, she sounded half asleep, "What's going on Al?"

"Sorry, I know it's late, but could you pick me up from work? I really need to talk to you."

Piper sounded worried, "are you ok?"

"Yeah, it's just, something really fucking weird happened tonight. I…I didn't want to be alone."

"Ok, you stay put, I'll be there soon." Alex waited for Piper outside her work, it still felt so weird, how the hell did Robbie have his own kid? Why did he never see her? Why did Diane keep this a secret?

Piper arrived 20 minutes later, "Thanks Pipes," Alex leaned over to kiss her girlfriend, who looked worried, "I was worried Alex, are you sure everything is ok?"

"I don't even know how to answer that question Piper, tonight was pretty fucked up." On the way home Alex explained the whole situation to Piper, how Emily found her and how Diane had spoken to Emily's mum. Piper didn't know what to say, "Holy shit, wow."

"I know! But why didn't my mum say anything to me? She never keeps secrets like that."

"Al, she would've done it to protect you. She's been really worried about you lately, all she wants to do is take care of you."

This just made Alex feel guilty, "I know, but I feel like I have to tell her about tonight. This whole thing just doesn't feel right. What the fuck has he done in the past if these people have tracked us down to basically warn us? Tell us to let it go, just be happy he's gone. And he hasn't had anything to do with Emily in years, that's fucking weird."

"Just promise me you'll be careful ok, there's obviously a lot we don't know. We already know he's dangerous."

"Don't worry Pipes, I'll be careful. Stay with me tonight?"

Piper smiled, she loved it when Alex asked her to sleep over, as though there was a chance she'd say no. Piper never felt more at peace than when she was in bed with Alex, skin against skin, arms around each other, complete vulnerability and comfort. It was past midnight when they walked into the apartment. Diane must have already been in bed, but they found Lucy asleep on the couch. Alex leaned down and whispered to her sister, "hey Luce, time for bed." Lucy just groaned in response. Alex put her arms around Lucy to pull her up from the couch, Lucy instinctively put her arms around Alex's neck as she carried her to bed. Piper followed Alex as she took Lucy into her own room. Alex placed her sister in her bed and pulled the covers over her, "Night Luce," said Alex as she kissed her goodnight. Piper stood at the door smiling, "What are you smiling at Chapman?"

"Nothing, just thinking about how there are probably only two other people in the world that get to see that side of you." The two girls went to Alex's bedroom and got ready for bed, "which t-shirt would you like tonight?" She loved it when Piper wore her t-shirts to bed, they would always end up smelling like her.

"Hmmm, I will take…the Pixies actually, it's become a sentimental favourite." The two girls then curled up in bed together. Alex wrapped her arms around Piper from behind and fell asleep.

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The next morning Alex and Diane were eating breakfast together while Piper and Lucy slept. Lucy snuck into Alex's room and noticed it was Piper in the bed, still sleeping. Lucy didn't want to be alone so she climbed in next to Piper, she trusted her. Piper stirred and noticed there was another body in the bed, but it was way too small to be Alex. Piper smiled when she saw Lucy next to her, it made her feel good to know Lucy felt this close to her.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Alex was trying to work up the courage to tell Diane about her encounter with Emily. "I know there's something you're not telling me," subtlety was never Alex's strong point.

"What are you talking about Alex? Just say what you really mean." Diane liked to have the facts out on the table, she didn't want to spend the next hour trying to decipher the situation.

"I'm talking about Robbie's ex and his daughter." Alex maintained eye contact with Diane, who just looked sad, almost defeated.

"I wasn't trying to keep secrets Alex, you've just been through a lot lately. And you've been doing so much better these last couple weeks, I didn't want you to worry."

Alex didn't have the heart to be mad at Diane over this, "I know mum, but we need to talk about it now. His daughter, Emily, I ran into her last night."

Diane now just looked worried again, "what did she say?"

"Basically to be glad Robbie is gone and don't bother trying to land him in jail. Mum, what the hell is going on?"

Diane sighed before she started speaking, "His ex, Maria, she….she just didn't want to see him hurt anyone else. It's just like Emily told you, he has an abusive history, and it's highly likely he'll stay away from us, he doesn't want to go to jail." Alex and Diane just looked at each other for what felt like forever.

"It just made me feel like a fucking fool Alex. He's done this before, and I didn't see it in him. I didn't see it when he was doing it to you, in my own fucking house."

"That was my fault too mum, I hid everything from you. Have you seen her again?"

Diane wiped a tear from her eye, "No, just that once." Alex felt the anxiety rising in her chest, but she was determined to not let Diane see it. She was determined to hold it together for Diane, she was determined to find out what Robbie had done to Emily.

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That same night, Piper was out with some of her old college friends. Piper had wanted Alex to join them, but she just didn't have the energy. It was after midnight, Lucy and Diane were asleep in their own rooms. Alex had been lying in her bed, tossing and turning, the anxiety that had gripped her earlier just wouldn't go away. All this new information just made her imagine all the horrible things Robbie probably did in the past, and what he could still do to them. Alex had been asleep for an hour or so when she started to dream about all the horrible things Robbie had done to Emily. Except in her dream, it wasn't Emily he was hurting, it was Lucy.

Alex was tied to a chair, gagged, unable to move. Robbie was in front of Alex, holding onto Lucy, she was crying. It all felt so surreal, Alex wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not. Robbie then suddenly backhands Lucy hard across the face, causing her to fall to the floor crying. Alex tried to scream but nothing comes out because of the gag. Robbie then pulls out a gun, points it to Lucy on the floor, and pulls the trigger. Alex feels like she's dying, she can't breathe. He then holds the gun to Alex's temple, and shoots.

Alex woke up suddenly, sweating again, but this was different from the other dreams. She is struggling to breathe, her chest hurts, and she feels dizzy. "Fuck!" she thinks to herself. She had managed to not have a panic attack in almost two years, she had almost managed to forget how bad they could be. She could feel the anxiety gripping her body, she started gasping for breath, but she just couldn't breathe deeply enough, she was getting dizzier. She needed to get to Diane before she passed out. She stood up and felt like she was having an out of body experience, like she was somewhere else, watching it all unfold. Alex stumbled towards Diane's room and burst through the door, she hit the ground on her hands and knees, still gasping for breath.

"What the fuck!" Diane woke up to the loud bang, and looked down to see Alex on her hands and knees. She practically jumped out of her bed and kneeled down next to her daughter. Diane hadn't seen this sight in a long time, but there was no mistaking what was happening. Alex leaned up against the bedroom wall, trying to calm down. Diane then noticed the blood dripping from her daughter's nose. She needed to calm her down immediately. She put each hand on Alex's cheeks and spoke to her as calmly as possible, "Ally, you need to look at me baby, open your eyes ok." Alex tried to focus on her mum, but everything was starting to look blurry. "I know you're scared baby, but I need you to just breathe with me ok. Just focus on me, follow my breathing." Alex tried to look at Diane, who was now breathing in and out slowly. Alex tried to slow her breathing down, but it was so hard, and the blood just kept pouring from her nose.

Diane kept stroking Alex's cheeks, trying to reach her. After about ten minutes, Alex managed to follow Diane's breathing, "that's it baby, that's good, keep breathing, keep focussing on me. You're doing good Alex." Diane could see the strain in her daughter's face, how much energy it took for her to slow her breathing. As Alex slowly started to breathe more normally, Diane grabbed the box of tissues from the bedside table to clean up the blood. "That's it, don't worry about the blood, it's just because of the anxiety." Diane brushed Alex's hair from her face and started rubbing her arms, trying to keep her calm. "Does it still hurt?"

Alex responded through laboured breaths, "No, no it's ok now. I still feel a bit dizzy."

"That's ok baby, you stay right here. You let me know when you're ready and I'll take you back to your room." Diane assumed Alex would want to go back to her own bed, she always did, but tonight, the mention of her own room caused her to panic again. Alex reached out to Diane from her position against the wall and grabbed onto her very tightly, "No, please mum, let me stay with you, I can't sleep on my own tonight." This broke Diane's heart, Alex had not held onto her this tightly since she was a child. Now, in the moment, having her 19 year old daughter grip onto her like a child, practically beg to stay with her, killed Diane inside. Alex was torturing herself, but Diane didn't know why. Without breaking the tight hug, Diane spoke into Alex's ear, "of course you can stay in here Ally. Let's just get you cleaned up first." Diane tried to get Alex to stand up, but she refused, and just gripped onto Diane tighter, "Shhh, ok baby, ok. Let's just sit here for a bit." Diane held onto her daughter and rubbed her back. They sat like this for another 20 minutes before Alex was ready to get up. Diane led her into the bathroom and washed away the blood, before getting her into a clean t-shirt and shorts, ready for bed.

"Thanks mum."

"What happened Ally? It's been a long time since you've had an attack like that."

"I had a really fucking horrible dream mum, fuck….." Diane got Alex into the bed before climbing in next to her. She wrapped her arms around Alex, it was all she could do to try and make her feel safe.

"Well you tell me about it tomorrow ok. Right now, I want you to try and get some rest." Diane kissed Alex on the cheek. She didn't let her eyes close until she was sure Alex had managed to go back to sleep. "I promise Ally, we're gonna fix this."