A SUBCONSCIOUS TORMENT AND A DELIGHTFUL REMEDY

"Rowan? Rowan? Rowan where are you?"

The room was dark with only the silver light from the moonlight, shining down on the empty bed. Where is he? Where is Rowan? My heart began to beat faster with the fear of being alone.

"Please Rowan, where are you?" I demanded with a panicked voice. First all I heard was the mocking silence before I heard a loud bang. It sounded as if someone was closing a door forcefully. Nervously I gulped, feeling my body seize up. Suddenly without a warning, I heard an angry voice shout out. I couldn't make out what they had said as it was muffled by the bedroom walls. However, I knew it was a man's voice. Taking a deep breath, I tried my very best to keep calm. I was now able to move my limbs, but only in a slow stealthy movement. What was the banging about and why was there a man shouting? Was it Rowan? I was immensely curious to know yet terrified too. I took small steps towards the door hearing the banging noise continue. Every time I did, I was hit with another surge of panic. My heart was racing ever so quickly, fuelled by my anticipation and fear. As my shaking hand wrapped around the door knob, it was met with its cold and chilling brass. Turning it slowly, I heard the lock click allowing the door to reveal a deserted and cold hallway. There was no sign of life or objects for that matter. It was completely empty.

"Rowan? Sylvie? Rémy?" I shouted, the fear was obvious in my voice. I took a small step, one after the other following the banging. It was coming from my own bedroom. The door kept pounding as if someone were knocking against it. The angry man perhaps? I picked up the pace, coming nearer towards it, but suddenly the room before mine opened its door. The action almost made me jump out of my skin and forced a sudden yell from me. My heart was racing even more and my chest was rising even faster. Looking down at my feet, I noticed the object which had fallen from out of the door way. It was a large wooden, square frame. Leaning down, I picked it up flipping it over in order to see what it held. Confused, surprised and scared. It was the painting of ships I had done in my father's honour. The copy I had given to Shosanna and Marcel. What was it doing here? I held it close to myself, hugging it tightly. A strange determination came over me. I had to return this. I had to give it back to them. Walking past the open door I gasped at the sight I saw. The room was completely filled with collections of my artwork. Paintings, sketches, even photos. But as my eyes lingered over the crammed pile it began to buckle. It shook causing the frames to flood out before me. Quick as a flash, I moved back, dropping my painting amongst the others. There was a chorus of shattering glass and the snapping of wood along with the constant banging. Panic streamed through my veins, hitting my heart once again. I forced myself to forget about the painting and to fearfully journey on towards the banging door. The apprehension was growing more with every step I took. I could feel this terror building up within me once again. Reaching out my hand I grasped the handle. It was cold as well, freezing to be exact. The brass pinched my skin especially as it twisted in order to reveal what lurked behind the door. The terror intensified and it was the worst emotion in the world. My whole body was quivering with fear as I opened the door. It was slow to move and creaked, sending a chilling shiver down my spine. The banging had stopped and now I stood in the fearful silence.

"Rowan?" my voice shook as I asked into the dark room. I was answered with the high pitched screams of my mother. They rang out, tearing at my tormented soul. I felt my self-control break and I let go of all sanity I had left. In a bid to save myself, I held my hands tightly to my ears, and attempt that was in vain.

"Mama!" I screamed in sync with hers. How I felt that I was drowning in helplessness and immense sorrow. Why Mama? Why?. Suddenly, I heard the deep voice speak up, and my mother's screams stop. The chill and fear became present.

"Hallo meine hübsche Dame"

The ice blue eyes appeared from the dark, staring holes right into my soul. I shivered with absolute horror feeling the fearful tears stream down my cheeks. From out of the room, Erich appeared, clad in his grey Nazi uniform. The cruelty was present in his eyes and even in the way he smiled; such cruel intentions. My heart beat hastened, fuelling my veins with terror. So much so, I took my immediate leave, speeding down the long hallway. Screams were erupting out of me and the tears were blurring my vision. Erich was on my tail, taking large strides which thumped, frightening my shaken state. As if things couldn't get any worse, the floor became slippery like it were an ice rink. My balance kept failing and the panic was increasing. Quickly, with survival on my mind, I glided toward the staircase, spinning around the railings. Erich was gaining on me, with an obvious sexual determination. Trembling still, I ran on into the kitchen, dodging all the appliances and obstacles. I thrust open the doors into the café with all my might and pushed past the tables and chairs. He was getting so close, so close it terrified me. The furniture kept forming in front of my body, slowing my pace down. How desperate I was quickly becoming. My constant crying and my constant pleas for help. I kicked and thrashed the tables and chairs out of my path, soon coming to my last obstacle; the front door.

Swiftly, I fled into the streets of Paris, looking for some kind of escape or saviour. Nothing except the endless flowing of water from the large fountain which sat in the middle of the square. I felt the hope seep out of me, leaving an extreme feeling of fear. Erich had emerged from the café, staring me down like a predator. My weeping had increased, blurring my vision. I couldn't decide whether not seeing Erich was better than seeing him. But, before I could decide on my answer, fearful adrenaline took my body, sending me across the empty square. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears and my trembling breath. Suddenly, as I ran, I felt a solid object form in front of me, causing my body to fall to the hard ground. A scream slipped out of me as I felt Erich's rough hands hold my arms tightly. Kicking and yelling was no use, he held me down with incredible strength, and began to laugh. Looking up at the object that had caused me to fall, I noticed it was the shape of a man. A tall, God like man whose whole body was covered in a bright golden light. Suddenly he leaned towards me taking me away from the darkness and out of Erich's cruel possession…

My eyes shot open with a sharp jolt in my heart beat. I grasped for air, feeling immensely disorientated. However a man leaned over my trembling body, his warm hand cupped around my wet and sticky cheek. As soon as my fearful eyes met the calming pools of blue I knew I was safe.

"Rowan?" I sobbed, reaching out to hold his face and inspect his features making sure it were him. Angling his head into the silver moonlight, I noticed his short honey brown hair, his stubble caressed jaw, his dainty beauty spots and of course those eyes.

"Monique, everything's ok" he stated softly, as if I were a scared child. How fearful I still was, I had the horrible feeling that Erich was lurking in the shadows.

"You're fine, it was just a nightmare" he reassured, wiping my wet brow gently with his finger. Tears found their escape route, streaming down my shaken face. I couldn't help but cry louder, needing a release from the terror inside me.

"Come here my Monique"

"Rowan then slid his free arm around my body, pulling me closer to his. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck for support, as he brought me to my feet. I fell into his embrace, hiding my frightened face in his hard chest, letting the tears fall. Relaxation and calmness were quick to follow, however the horror lingered deep within me. It crept out and I could feel the shivering sensation on my exposed back, as if Erich was breathing down on my skin. I could hear his cruel laughter echo throughout Mama's shrieking screams. A small whimper escaped from my mouth and I held onto Rowan desperately.

"I can still hear him, I can still hear him and Mama" I cried. Rowan was well aware of my anguish and desperation. He returned my shaken body with a soothing and protective embrace, stroking my back. He swayed us back and forth with a slow and gentle movement, making it look as if we were dancing. A loving couple, slow dancing in the moon light. Rowan's head was tucked close to mine, with his light breaths brushing my face. He continued to speak to me in order for the voices to disappear.

"You're safe Monique, I won't let anyone harm you" his voice was soft and convincing, he didn't even ask about Erich or my Mama. He just continued to stroke me and speak to me in a relaxing manner. Soon I could feel the fearful images and noises disappear, leaving me with a blissful collection of mixed emotions. One of them a similar emotion to love and want. Rowan still talked, however it had lowered down to a whisper.

"Dance with me my Liebling" he said, moving his hand to mine. Our hands were perfectly fitted for each other's, like they had been matched for us. Still nervous and yet surprised at his remark, I felt a warm fuzziness spread through my body. It was the first time he called me Darling. My weary head still remained on his firm chest, and his eyes were still fixed on me. I felt his gaze repelling all negative and harmful emotions from my soul, replacing them with explosions and warmth's of delight. Soon my subconscious felt healed until a sudden bang of the door reminded me of my torment. I quickly buried my face in Rowan's chest, grasping his pyjama collar in my hands, making sure whatever walked in couldn't claim him or me. My mind broke down once again, causing a scream to slip past my lips.

"Monique!" I heard a familiar voice shout. I heard pairs of feet rush to mine and Rowan's side, and felt concerned bodies around us. Braving myself, I pulled my face away to peek out at the new beings. However with one glance, safety and security returned. Sylvie and Rémy stared down at me with absolute alarm.

"Oh my God is everything alright?" she asked equally shaken.

"Yes, Monique just had a nightmare" Rowan stated still stroking my arm.

"Of course, she seems much more distressed than usual though. Perhaps I should take over now"

Rowan's grasp around me was faltering and so was my calmness. Sylvie then laid her hands on my shoulders, in order to pull me away from my saviour.

"No!" I shouted, knocking her away from me and falling back into Rowan's safe and blissful embrace. I didn't want to leave him; I wanted to hang on to him forever. The tears had returned, flooding my troubled face as my nerves were agitated once again.

"Would you like me to make the tea Sylvie?" Rémy asked.

"Oui, that would be great, thank you" Sylvie replied. I heard Rémy take his leave, with a tense sense around him. How I wished Sylvie would leave also.

"Come on Monique, I'll take you back to your room"

"I don't want to go to my room. I want to stay here" I argued with a sniffle.

"This is ridiculous, come on Monique" Sylvie was beginning to lose her patience. But I didn't want to go; I wanted to stay with Rowan. Suddenly he stepped in.

"It's ok Monique, everything will be alright" he said softly, wiping my tears away gently with his thumb. I curled up closer to him, enjoying the lovely sensation.

"But I want to stay with you" I confessed with a sib. Rowan smiled, with an obvious happiness at my reply.

"I know I want you to stay also" he whispered, trying to avoid Sylvie's ever listening ears. "But, you'll be able to rest in the comforts of your own bed, in your own room. You don't have to worry now Monique, it's over with. I promise."

His hand held mine once again in a loving grip and he brought it to his face. Our hold remained there with his lips lingering near my cheek.

"I wish you sweet dreams my Liebling" his breathing erratic as he placed a soft electric kiss on my sticky cheek. I felt a quick explosion of bliss before being pulled away from my Rowan into Sylvie's grasp. Our eyes never left each other's as she dragged me out of the room and down the hallway. Sylvie went on about my behaviour and my panic attacks while I caressed my kissed cheek. I could still feel the heat from his lips and the delightful fuzziness deep within me. How handsome he looked standing beneath the silver moonlight with a kind, caring and enchanting smile curled on his charming lips. My dreams will definitely be sweet, especially when they're about him.