Padma was silent as she walked the halls of Hogwarts for what might be the last time. She allowed her eyes to travel all over the stone and wood and metal, over the paintings and statues and tapestries, looking but not really seeing. She waited for the memories to flood her; she and Parvati had skipped and walked and ran and fought through these very halls for seven years.

This had been her home.

Hogwarts had always seemed so alive, with as much thought and heart and personality as any one of its students, but now it was cold and silent. No ghosts drifted through the walls. Even most of the portraits were empty of their usual subjects.
"A lot of people have gone home; if they still have one." Neville said, answering her unspoken question. "Everyone else... Everyone that's not still in the hospital... I don't know. They're here and there. Some in the dorms, some in the Great Hall, some are even still in the Room." He shrugged. "It's only been a few days, after making Hogwarts livable again, everyone kind of found a place to settle and stayed there. We probably won't run into anyone."

Padma nodded mutely, aware of Luna's carefully concerned gaze. She hadn't spoken since her 'sentencing', after which Xenophilius had pointedly asked Luna to take Padma to go get her belongings. Padma hadn't much enjoyed being shooed out of the room like a child so the adults could talk, but had desperately wanted to get out of there. Auror Jones had put up a bit of a fight, insisting an auror accompany them, but Xenophilius had quickly struck down that idea by saying that Padma had not been convicted of murder and therefore shouldn't be treated like a violent criminal needing a police escort everywhere, and that Luna and Neville had more than proven themselves in battle and were perfectly capable of handling whatever situation arose, and weren't the auror stretched rather thin anyway? Didn't they have better things to do than follow a wounded, wandless sixteen year old witch around?

Padma had let the argument flow around her, uncaring. She felt like she was floating, a leaf being carried in the rapids of a river, battled on all sides by the current, unable to sink or float away. Rivers did not feel the weight of leaves, but decided their fate anyways. Why should she care what happened to her anymore, torn from her tree, from her roots? She had no purpose in this place anymore.

She had hoped that this trial would bring this drowning, rushing madness to a close but it had only muddied the waters. She still didn't know where she was going or what would happen to her. It had been a futile hope, anyway. She could not erase what had happened; she could not return to her place on the tree.

The only thing that kept her grounded was her sore muscles and aching bones, and the sharp pain in her side. It was a good pain. It reminded her she was human. Otherwise she felt as if she would float away from her body, a ghost to forever wander a place she was no longer welcome in… the place she had died.
This had been her home.

They soon reached the seventh floor corridor and the empty space of wall where the door to the Room would appear.

"Since we don't know who's in there, do you want me to go in first?" Neville offered a bit awkwardly. Padma shrugged, with concerted effort to make the motion as smooth as possible. She felt like a puppet that had just been handed its own strings and had to figure out how to move its body on its own.

As Neville walked back and forth three times, Luna watching him with mild interest, Padma gazed across the hall at the eternally obnoxious tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls ballet. She wondered how something so useless could live across from something so utterly necessary. Then she wondered if it was truly useless after all, or if it held some secret magical power vital to the functionality of the school.

She moved closer to it, examining the threads, searching for something… anything.

With a frown and a small sound of disgust, she soon leaned back. Nothing. Just bloody trolls learning bloody ballet. The tapestry was just a stupid souvenir of a bygone era. She had the faintest itch in her fingers to rip it down, suddenly frustrated with how many silly trinkets filled this school while the real items of power - Rowena's diadem, Gryffindor's sword, the Room of Requirement - were hidden away while people died to protect this school, this blasted tapestry, until Hogwarts decided to reach down from on high and grant them such blessings magnanimously, like a king that carelessly tossed gold coins to his subjects from his throne only after thousands had succumbed to the starvation and disease of living in poverty.

She suddenly hated Hogwarts, in such a deep and visceral way it brought her slamming back into her body clearer than pain. She turned away from the tapestry, feeling her lips curl back into a snarl.

"Rivers and leaves." She muttered the words like a curse, glaring at the wall.

As if it heard her words, the doors appeared and slid open smooth as liquid. Padma liked to think there was a hint of shame and remorse in the way they opened. But she would get no apology from Hogwarts.

This had been her home.

Neville hurried inside with a quick smile to the girls, who waited in silence for him to return. Luna glanced at Padma several times with her enormous silvery eyes as if she wanted to say something, but she never did. It was all the same to Padma. Her own words had proven meaningless, screams turned to whispers in the echoes of people more powerful than her.

And so she was silent.

The door creaked as it opened, and Padma wanted to roll her eyes. A magic door that needed oiling? How needy. Neville's genial face appeared. "Come on in," He said. "There's hardly anyone here. We can go straight to your dumble and get your things and be out in a tic."

What things? Padma thought sourly. I have no wand. I don't need my school books and robes anymore. But she was here, and so she followed.

Neville was right, they walked to Padma and Parvati's dumble unmolested. Many of the curtained-off sections had disappeared as if they had never been there. She knew why. She recognized the empty spot where the Creevey brothers' dumble had been and felt her stomach clench uncomfortably. She almost thought hers would be gone too, like Parvati, but it was still there when they arrived. It seemed wrong for it to still exist while her sister did not, but for one wild moment Padma wanted to stay and never leave because she knew that once she had gotten her things and left, their dumble would disappear. Another connection to her sister ripped away from her before she was ready.

This had been her home.

"We'll wait out here." Neville said after a minute of them all just standing in front of the dumble doing nothing. Padma shot Luna a quick look that the other girl immediately understood.

"We need to use our wands to help her carry the trunks." Luna said to him gently.

Neville blushed a mottled red hue. "Oh. Right. Sorry, Padma."

Padma nodded at him, flexing her fingers. It had only been a few days, but it already felt like she had forgotten how to use a wand. She assumed it was due to the magical nature of her injury. The average witch or wizard was hardly attuned to the feel of their magic; they all knew it was there but it felt as normal as breathing. Magic was just as unnoticed and just as necessary. When a witch or wizard held a wand, it should be like speaking or laughing. Just as natural but with a bit more concentration and conscious effort.

But ever since waking up in that hospital bed, Padma had a strange, heightened sense of her magic but it gave her little comfort. It was still there, but it was an alien and volatile creature. One second it felt like the barest murmur in her blood, the next a flood of fire so hot she thought she could breathe flames into the very air. She felt like a broken jar trying to contain all the water in the ocean.

However she felt about Shacklebolt's verdict, she privately agreed that she should not have her wand back just yet. She was afraid of her magic at the moment... and the last thing it had been used for was dealing her sister a killing blow.

The thought of using that wand again made her feel sick.

With Luna and Neville beside her, she reached out and ripped open the curtain, like tearing off a bandage.

It was hard to say who was more surprised to find that the dumble was not in fact empty; Padma, Luna and Neville, or the very familiar figure sitting on one of the makeshift beds who jumped up with wand out at the sudden intrusion.

"Seamus?" Padma gasped, an odd mix of relief and dread bubbling up inside of her as she recognized the boy Parvati had fancied. "What are you doing here?"

Seamus Finnigan's shocking blue eyes were unreadable as they flickered over the three of them. His boyish, mulish face was hard and his wand remained trained on them long after he should have identified them as friend, not foe.

"Seamus!" Neville laughed, grinning and shaking his head at his best friend, lowering his own drawn wand. "Merlin's beard, mate, wear a bloody bell! Nearly scared the pants off us." He gave Padma a meaningful look, and she remembered what Neville had said to her about talking to Seamus about Parvati.

She wasn't so sure she wanted to do that.

"Hello, Seamus," Luna waved. "I'm happy to see you, even though you don't look very happy to see us."

Padma looked sharply at the blonde. She had long since learned that Luna's observations should never be taken lightly, and now she regarded Seamus with a new wariness. Padma narrowed her eyes at Seamus, seeing his tense stance, like a bowstring drawn taught to fire an arrow. As his eyes landed on her, she felt a fresh flood of dread well up inside her, diluting the relief. Seamus had always been quick-tempered, but now the maelstrom in his eyes was nothing short of explosive. She was seeing in Seamus what she felt inside herself, and she was afraid.

"Oi, what's wrong, Finnigan?" Neville asked lightly, but he also seemed to treating his friend with caution.

Seamus face was red and ugly as he stared at Padma. "What am I doing here? How dare you." He hissed through clenched teeth, and his rage in his voice was so forceful that Padma had to stop herself from taking a step back. "What are you doing here?"

Neville was aghast. "Seamus!"

Luna's voice was as calm as ever, but her face was serious as she looked at Seamus. "This is Padma and Parvati's dumble, Seamus, she has every right to be here."

"Right?" Seamus' face darkened to a bloody purplish color, like an angry bruise. "She has no right!" He thundered. "She killed Parvati!"

Padma reeled like she had been slapped in the face. Seamus' words ripped through her silent exhaustion and the torrential rage inside of her clawed its way through the tear with snarls and shrieking laughter. This half-blood thinks you a killer? Fine! Show him how dangerous you can be!

She felt electricity dancing through her fingers and clenched her fists. She screwed her eyes shut against the sudden burning that came not from tears but pure fire. She could hear Neville's sharp shout of "Seamus!" but it was muffled by the rushing in her ears.

She killed Parvati!

She killed Parvati!

"Padma!"

Luna's voice, clear and cold as winter wind, cut through the clamor inside of her and cooled the flames. Padma blinked her eyes open and the world came back into focus, shocking in its dull quiet reality. She had curled up on the floor with her face hidden against her knees, one arm shielding her head and one wrapped around her ribs like a vice. She had been literally trying to physically hold herself together. Luna was kneeling beside her, her small face tight with concern. A white-faced Neville was standing between them and Seamus, who was staring at her, the edges of his anger blurred with confusion and doubt. They were all shaken by Padma's reaction, but none so much as herself.

Padma slowly unfurled her trembling limbs and got unsteadily to her feet, trying not to remember how she had recovered from Bellatrix's torture curse in a similar fashion during the battle. She tasted warm, stinging iron and realized she had bitten her tongue. She felt her face burn with the familiar muted feeling of shame. She had actually cowered before him, like some bloody frightened animal!

She consciously allowed just a thread of anger to weave through her. It steadied her limbs and strengthened her spine. Avoiding Luna's moon-like eyes, she forced herself to stand straight and tall and meet Seamus' damning gaze.

"I did not kill Parvati." The words waded through the blood in her mouth and slipped in a whisper that was nevertheless louder than any of Seamus' bellows.

He looked stricken, but still he glared. "Your wand was stabbed inside of her." He spat.

"Where did you hear that?" Neville demanded. Then he muttered a curse. "I swear, I am going to throttle Zacharias Smith, that stupid rat-faced git."

Seamus ignored his former commander, continuing to scowl darkly at Padma, who said nothing more. Then his body erupted into motion, roughly shoving Neville out of the way as he stormed out of the dumble, stopping in front of Padma and thrusting his fist out. Her hands came up in a reflex even as she forced herself not to flinch, but his hand stopped just a hair shy of Padma's chest and turned over, opening to show her something she hadn't known he was holding. She stared uncomprehending at the round, dull metal pendant in his hand, connected to a chain she remembered seeing hang around Seamus' neck.

He sharply flicked his hand, and the pendant popped open. A small grainy photograph was stuffed inside, and Padma gazed spellbound at the tiny image of Parvati laughing and flipping her long hair, then winking at the camera and blowing a kiss. Her heartbeat shrank and tightened into the fast thrumming of a fairy's wings, and her breath came short and fast.

She reached out a shaking hand but Seamus slammed the locket shut. Padma's gaze shot up and she stared at him furiously, but the torture in his blue eyes stopped her short.

"You may not have murdered Parvati," Seamus croaked, Irish accent thicker than Padma had ever heard it. "But you sure as hell killed her. She's dead because of you." His jaw trembled slightly, and tears pierced his eyes like blades. "I loved her, and she's dead."

He threw down the locket violently where it clanged sharply against the floor in front of Padma's feet. She swiftly picked it up even before the echoes of its impact had faded as Seamus began to stomp off again, shoulders shaking. She was going to let him leave, but then she turned the locket over in her hand and saw that the face of it had cracked where it struck the ground. The sight of it filled her with grief and fury.

"Padma?" The sound of Luna's feminine voice, so like Parvati's but so not, triggered something inside of her. She spun around and wildly flung the locket where it hit Seamus square in the back. It couldn't have hurt him much, but his face looked irate as he whirled back to face her.

"How dare I? How dare you?" She shouted at him. "How dare you say that you loved her to my face, as if you loved her more than I do? You loved her? I LOVED HER!" The scream was torn straight from her very soul. Seamus stumbled backward as if she were striking him with her fists. "She was my twin sister! We shared a womb, we shared our lives, we shared everything! We shared a heart!" Her body shook from the force of her words, but this was no foreign madness inside of her. The screams were borne solely of her own true anguish. "You loved her and she's dead? I LOVED HER AND SHE'S DEAD AND IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!"

The last of her energy left her suddenly and she swayed, feeling blown over in the wake of her own hurricane. "It should have been me," She repeated in a broken breath, a mere wisp of smoke where fire once blazed.

Seamus stood in stunned silence for a long moment. Then he very slowly leaned over and picked up the locket. He stared at its damaged surface with a positively haunted look on his face. Then he reached out and offered it to her again, with shaking fingers instead of a clenched fist.

Padma could hardly bare to look at it, or him. She had no more energy to face her sorrow, but that thread of anger was still inside of her, and she could feel that crack in the metal pulsing like the wound in her side. "I don't want that." She said harshly. "You could not work up the courage to tell her you loved her while she was still alive, Gryffindor, then you treat a supposed symbol of your love for her so carelessly? That's not love at all, that's shame." She said, touching the bandage on her abdomen. "Keep your shame, Seamus, I don't want it. I have enough of my own."

Seamus went white with shock, then bright red with anger. But his eyes were wretched, and his mouth stayed closed and silent. He clutched the locket tight to his chest, against his heart, before slowly turning away from Padma and walking off. His steps soon quickened into a run, soundless as they hit the ground. Padma watched him leave until the door of the Room of Requirement melted back into wall behind him and it was like he had never been there.

Lions may roar, but eagles soar.

She waited until she could breathe normally again, then finally forced herself to walk into the little makeshift room she had shared with Parvati, avoiding looking or talking to Luna and Neville after her confrontation with Seamus. Neville chose to stay outside the dumble as Luna helped Padma gather her sparse belongings.

Then as she began the tedious and tortuous process of packing Parvati's things, Padma stoically ignored the fact that Parvati's bed was stained with Seamus' tears.

They soon faded into nothing.

Padma stood with Luna's light fingers touching her wrist, Neville's steady presence on her other side, her and Parvati's trunks levitated by Luna's wand. They stood in between the dumble and the door, on the precipice of change. Padma had never spoken to the Room before in all the months she had lived here, and she wasn't sure she deserved to or if she even wanted to now. But in this moment, she felt none of her earlier hatred, only sadness. And so, she tentatively gathered her broken pieces of magic and presented them to Hogwarts.

This is who I was. This is what's been done to me within your walls. You saved me. You destroyed me. You made me.

...This is who I am.

She closed her eyes. "Goodbye."

She waited, but felt nothing. No tingle of her magic, no soft breeze or glimmer of light. Nothing. But when she opened her eyes again, the dumble was gone, except for one small piece of fabric that floated down to her. She gazed down at the names embroidered elegantly into the cloth.

Parvati Patil

Padma Patil

She hesitated, then finally held out her hands, accepting this last gift from Hogwarts. The cloth folded itself neatly and settled into her waiting hands. When they turned around, the door had opened for them.

Padma left the Room for the last time and didn't look back. She didn't need to watch the door vanish behind her. She knew it was gone.

This had been her home.

Author's note: Follow, favorite, review!