Yay. I've been looking forward to this chapter. Not as much as I'm looking forward to Chapter Twelve, but a lot, anyway. And I bet you guys thought I forgot about the mayor and Barbrady. You'd be wrong. Although I did set out to have more of a focus on them. Whatever. And I might have spelled "Katherine" wrong. Oh, who cares.

Also, I'm feeling OK, so leave con crit if you feel like it. Although blind praise is always welcome. And I used OPL's last name for Lola in this chapter. The rest are either canonical or made up. And, since both Heidi's and Powder's last names are Turner, I made them cousins. Also, I really love Bebe in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. Or anything, really.

Ch. 10: The Top Twenty

"And that is how the American dream relates to feminism. Thank you." Wendy took a deep breath. She was so not ready, and it was nearly her final practice block, where Big Gay Al, Mayor McDaniels, and Officer Barbrady would judge her to see if she'd make it into the final twenty contestants. Not ready.

"Hey, Wendy," Token said, as he went out the auditorium. Wendy smiled, weakly. "What're you doing for your talent?"

"Speech." She paused. "Wait, why are you here?"

"Cartman," he said, barely able to control his disdain. "He's paying us to play for his talent."

"Who?"

"Me, Kenny, and Tweek. It's our first gig."

"So, what's Cartman doing?"

"Singing." Wendy laughed.

"Cartman? With that nasal voice of his?"

"He's pretty good, Wendy. I'd watch out." She stopped laughing and smiled at her ex-boyfriend.

"Thanks, Token." He smiled and walked away. Wendy sighed and went back to her speech. Now that she thought about it, her break-up with Token had started those rumors about her orientation. They had mostly died down since then, but it still came up occasionally. Apparently straight girls couldn't remain friends with their exes. Besides, he was going out with Annie now.

Soon enough, Kenny and Tweek came out.

"Ngh! I totally messed up!"

"You did great, Tweek. Hey, Wendy."

"Hi, Ken. Hey, Tweek."

"Gah!" Then, as they left, Cartman himself exited the room into the hallway.

"Why, hello, Wendy."

"Go away."

"Well, no need to be so rude."

"This from the guy who can't call it a day if he hasn't seriously offended at least fifteen minorities."

"Don't be silly. On a good day, I can get in thirty." Wendy looked up from her speech.

"Do you say these things just to get me mad? Because I have better things to do."

"Why do you always assume it's about you?"

"Oh, yeah? Then what is it about?" He paused.

"Me, of course." Wendy rolled her eyes.

"Just go away, Eric."

"Whatever, hippy. Oh, and it's your turn." Wendy glared at him and ran in the auditorium.

"Hello, Miss Testaburger," Mayor McDaniels said, as Wendy walked onto the stage. "What are you going to thrill us with now?"

"I have a speech to give."

"Well, that's interesting," said Officer Barbrady. Wendy took a deep breath and started the speech.

"Ladies and gentlemen..."

"Y'ready for the announcement, Wendy?" Butters asked, as Wendy tied her hair back. She shrugged.

"As ready as I'll ever be. Good luck."

"Gee, thanks. I hope you get in, too."

"Listen, after this, do you want to sleep over at my house?" Butters thought quickly. It was amazing how much better he was getting at that.

"Oh, I dunno. My folks don't really like me going to places with people they don't know."

"Well, we could go to your house, if that's all right."

"No!" He laughed. "I mean..."

"Margie?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you always so twitchy when I mention your parents?" Butters bit his lip. "I mean, Butters can be kind of a spaz, but..."

"You want to know the truth?"

"Yeah." Butters sighed.

"My parents don't know that I'm in the pageant." Well, it is true, he justified. It just ain't the whole truth, is all.

"Really? Where do they think you are, then?"

"Um. Homeschooled kids' meeting. Y'know, in North Park." Wendy didn't look as if she bought it, but nodded.

"All right. So, how'd you get away from them to go to the mall with us?"

"Told them that the counselors were having, um. A ping-pong tournament." I need to write all of this down. He sighed."My parents would never let me do anything like this."

"Well, won't they find out when they come to the pageant?"

"They wouldn't come." It was slightly scary, but also rather thrilling, how quickly the lies came. I should probably be more worried about this.

"OK," Wendy said, skeptically. And she said nothing more.

"All right, guys!" said Big Gay Al, as the last of the contestants filed onto the stage. "Mayor McDaniels, Officer Barbrady and I have tallied up our scores, and we have the twenty lucky ladies... er, contestants... who will move on to the preliminaries!"

"Why do we even have prelims?" Heidi wondered aloud (but not loud enough that anyone but Wendy could hear her). Wendy shrugged.

"It's South Park. They make a huge deal out of everything."

"In all, we have thirteen seniors, six juniors, and one sophomore who made it to the finals. Our first lucky contestant is junior Isabella Anderson! The next is senior Bertha Bailey! Then we have the one and only Eric Cartman."

"Yes," he hissed. Wendy gaped. How did Eric get in?

"Wendy, close your mouth before someone sees," Bebe said, nonchalantly. Wendy complied.

"Our next contestant is senior Margaret Deary!" Margie looked around, as if there might be another Margaret Deary in the room, then beamed at Wendy. She remembered to smile back. Was Token right? Is Cartman really any good at his talent? She sighed. I'm never going to be able to live it down if he wins. Lost in thought, she missed the next four contestants. Bebe had to elbow her before she started paying attention again.

"Next, Lola Mandoval! And, our lucky sophomore, Katherine McCormick!" Katie sat up straighter.

"Slut," Heidi coughed. Bebe smiled, but Wendy was still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Eric had gotten into the top twenty.

"Congratulations, Heidi Turner!"

"Good job," Bebe whispered. Heidi thanked her. Bebe elbowed Wendy, and she nodded. Heidi just smiled.

"What's wrong with you?" said Bebe, quietly, as Big Gay Al named Heidi's cousin, Powder, as the next contestant to make it.

"Nothing. Just, you know."

"Your little obsession with Cartman?"

"I'm not obsessed."

"He's the only guy you ever talk about."

"Bebe Stevens!" Big Gay Al said. Bebe sat up, then realized that she had made it.

"Congratulations, Bebe," Heidi said.

"Thanks."

"I talk about other guys!"

"Wendy Testaburger!" Heidi grinned at Wendy, who managed to smile back. Well, he hasn't beaten me yet.

"Seriously, Wends. If you have to obsess over someone, why would you pick a complete waste of space like Eric Cartman?"

"I'm not obsessed with him!" Wendy blushed as the other contestants turned to face her. She saw Cartman snigger. She shot him an icy glare, and Big Gay Al read out the last three contestants, all three juniors.

"Well, thanks to everyone who joined the pageant! If I did not call your name, I am afraid that You did not make it to the next round. But, remember, you're all winners!" What sort of stupid expression is that, anyway? Wendy wondered, as all of the contestants filed out. Isn't the whole point of being the winner that there's only one?

"So, bitch. We're both in the next round."

"Unfortunately. And don't call me a bitch."

"I'll call you whatever I want, ho!" She slapped him. "Ay! What's your problem?"

"My problem is you."

"Oh, you're pissy because I got in, too!"

"I wouldn't put it that way."

"Which way would you put it?"

"Listen, Cartman. I am going to walk away. You are not going to try and talk to me anymore. If you say so much as a word, I will punch your face in. Got it?" Cartman laughed.

"Go home and bake something, ho." And Wendy made good on her promise.

"Wendy!" Bebe shouted, as she pulled Wendy away from the boy before she could get in another punch. "What are you doing?"

"Fucking bitch!"

"He wouldn't shut up," Wendy explained.

"Have you ever considered that you might be overreacting, just a tiny fucking bit?" Wendy shook her hand.

"My thumb hurts."

"Oh, your thumb hurts. Poor you. You could get kicked out the pageant, or even sued, and all you can think about is your stupid thumb!"

"I don't give a damn about the pageant." The blonde sighed.

"OK. You don't care about the pageant. But what if you got kicked out. Then Cartman would still be in it. So watch your step."

"You're low, Bebe. Did I ever tell you that?"

"Whatever you say." Bebe led Wendy to her dressing room. "Well, I highly doubt that Cartman will admit to being hit by a girl, even though you probably hurt yourself more than you hurt him."

"It's not as if I could help it, Bebe. He just... pushes my buttons."

"Yes. And I bet you push several of his."

"But he never loses that damn smirk!" She paused. "I push his buttons? What's that supposed to mean?" Bebe rolled her eyes.

"Forget I said anything. Let's just get you changed before he gets over his shock."