A short summary of this non-linear universe - inspired by Rudyard Kipling's poem, " If."

"If…

Mary can take care of Matthew; she can take care of the world.

Because that is what he is to her."

And vice versa in this interchangeable love story.

"If …

Matthew can take care of Mary; he can take care of the world.

Because that is what she is to him."

Thank you one and all - here is another chapter! Kudos to R. Grace for being a kick-ass editor and consort!

Now read on...

Since Matthew's car accident, Mary had missed several calls from her friend, Lucy, and she hadn't returned them. She had no desire for sympathetic platitudes or phony clichés about loss and healing. Mary simply wanted to focus on her husband. Although Lucy was a top notch companion when shopping or traveling, she was a disappointment when it came to understanding her relationship with Matthew. When her phone rang, Mary checked the caller id before letting it go to voice mail again. She continued to search through her closet, focusing on what she would wear to the hospital. Suddenly, near the back she saw the beautiful gown she had worn to the Black and White Ball was neatly hung next to her silly western costume. Mary felt tears in her eyes when she thought of these moments in relation to her friend Lucy as her relationship with Matthew had progressed.

Matthew hated the looks he was being given. His father-in-law's engagement present completely misrepresented him. Mary's parents were hosting a Black and White Ball to benefit the Shakespeare Birthplace Trust, since it was March 15th- The Ides of March. Matthew rubbed his temples as he sat in the idling sports car; he hated driving the Jaguar but it was his obligation now. He knew he was in store for a completely dreary evening and not just because of the somber overtones the weather cast on his mood. As he was relieved of the ridiculous Jaguar with a valet stub parking ticket, he noticed it had a quote from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar on it. Matthew felt leery but read anyway.

"He is a dreamer; let us leave him: pass." Act 1, Scene 2.

While he waited to check his coat, he retrieved a throat lozenge from his pocket. Matthew was seriously feeling out of sync with the world around him. In keeping with the night's event, Mary had purchased him an elegant white suit with a black tie. The ensemble had been the result of several hours of shopping while she'd dressed him like a doll.

The invited guests at the Black and White Ball were to be treated to a four-course meal followed by an evening of symphony music and dancing. The prospect should have cheered him, yet he was dreading all of it. A white tuxedo seemed suddenly like a bad idea for the way he was feeling. He sneezed, and everyone seemed to notice with sneers of contempt. Matthew saw Mary's friend Lucy from across the room, and her condescendingly fake smile grinned at him as their paths crossed. She waved and said, "Hi Matt," before moving on in the crowd, her attention turned towards her squad of friends. As if on cue, they all snickered and laughed. It made his stomach churn and his head ache.

As he awkwardly milled through the room, he couldn't help but suddenly cough, and the action seemed to offend more guests, just as his sneeze had earlier. Since he could not find Mary, he located the bar and ordered a whiskey. He was still chilled from the outside weather, his nerves apparently not ready to surrender to the warmth of the ballroom.

"I found you," a very sultry voice purred behind him. He could smell her ginger perfume. Mary placed her hands over his eyes. "And you're mine now." Her voice bubbled with delight which did finally give him a little relief. He felt his body respond just at the prospect of her beauty, at the visual feast he was about to experience. Matthew still felt jittery with overwhelming adoration that Mary was his future bride.

"Since I'm sure to be rendered speechless, let me tell you how beautiful you are now, and how I feel like the luckiest man alive," Matthew said, removing her hands and turning around.

Mary's dress was truly spectacular, and his jaw hung open just as he had predicted. She was a vision that belonged at the ball. Her white gown shimmered, and the thin overlay of black and white lace ruffled where the material overlapped. The dress was quite becoming on his fiancée. He wanted to see Mary spin in the material so he could take in the full view of her glory.

"I take it you approve," Mary said. Her gaze seemed to read his mind as she spun once for him. She was a transcendent goddess before him, while he was only a mere mortal.

"Nod once if you agree," she teased. Matthew did as he was told, and Mary kissed him lightly. "You're late," she then scolded him. "That is not like you. So, I had to defend you to my friends already." But before he could explain or apologize, she had started talking again, changing the subject.

"I've shown this to about everybody in this room already," Mary announced with a grin, displaying the engagement ring on her left hand. Matthew finished his whiskey in one gulp.

"Except I refuse to show my precious to the lady over there," Mary said pointing. "She reminds me too much of the bag lady Lucy and I saw outside the Duomo in Milan. I still don't understand how a person living in Milan could have no sense of fashion."

"Mary," Matthew chastened, trying not to be agitated by her callous story, but he had heard it, or variations of it, half a dozen times already. "Why do you keep drawing attention to a probably homeless woman's lack of fashion sense? That is just cruel."

Mary quirked her eyebrows at him and ran the hand decorated by her engagement ring up his arm.

"You're too sensitive. It is just an innocent story we made up about a stranger."

"I just don't see the point in mocking a stranger, especially when it has been rehashed so many times."

"I thought math geeks liked repetition," Mary tried to joke, but she soon saw he was in no mood for the kidding. He looked flushed, and she wondered how many drinks he might have had before she found him. Matthew did not have much of a tolerance for alcohol. Giving into her own annoyance and frustration that he wouldn't play along with her simple fun when she was trying to brag about their engagement, Mary snapped.

"Matthew, loosen up. You're so uptight; you are not the world's defender."

"Maybe I wouldn't be so defensive if you weren't constantly judging people. When I was a lawyer..."

It was Mary's turn to let her jaw drop. She interrupted him immediately for it seemed impossible.

"You? In court? I object! Were you able to accomplish this at such a young age because you were homeschooled?" She fondly teased him with a pleasant laugh.

However, it felt like a low blow to Matthew. He couldn't understand why Mary was so intent on teasing him tonight. And then he heard the harsh giggles of her friends across the crowded ball room. It was as though everything else was filtered out and he heard only their mockery. He walked back to the bar for another whiskey. Matthew knew there was no malice in her words, and yet they still deeply upset him. He felt a mess and a failure, certainly not prince charming. This was not how he wanted the evening to go at all. His head continued to pound, his throat felt raw, and his ear ache had also returned. He had medicine drops from his mother in his coat pocket, but he had forgotten to use them.

"Matthew," Mary said following after him. "What is the matter with you tonight?" She chose to bury the new information she had just learned about him for another time. Mary was more interested in the present and the future anyway.

For his part, he knew Mary had just asked him a valid question, but he didn't know how to answer it. He felt raw and exposed by her accusations. And yet he realized she had every right to be surprised about his past. There was no way for her to have known he had gone to law school. Mary was not Lavinia; he couldn't take anything for granted anymore. Details had to be shared, whatever the cost. How much more could Mary take before she tried of him? He felt as though he was constantly walking on egg shells.

Matthew looked at Mary in the fabulous gown and simply ached to tell her he loved her, would always love her, would do anything to make her happy, and yet he couldn't speak. It was as if there was a barrier between his brain, and his mouth and his heart didn't even factor into the equation anymore. He wanted to tell her how her appearance made him lustful and quite amorous, but he couldn't, not when her words had hurt him on a primal level. It was his bruised pride that finally made him speak up.

"Why do you always treat my homeschooling as if it were something I recovered from, like leprosy?" he found himself pleading. Matthew downed another whiskey in only a few sips, enjoying the way it burned down his throat, distracting him from his actual sore throat.

"Well, maybe the problem is more to do with the fact that we are rivals because you went to Cambridge and I went to Oxford."

"Now is not the time to joke Mary," Matthew said sullenly.

"Okay," Mary said rolling her eyes in exasperation. "What do you want me to say?" She bit back a further comment about how he was behaving just as her friends had predicted. He was a strange man who would eventually disappoint her, they had concluded.

Matthew shook his head, surprised by her question. It seemed to have shifted all the attention back to his demands, and he realized he didn't know what they were even arguing about. He took Mary's hand and led her through the ballroom until they found an empty table, further away from the loud roaring of the crowd. In the somewhat seclusion away from prying eyes, Matthew sat down and motioned for her to join him.

"Could we start over?" He pleaded taking her hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

She smiled at him, and he was greatly relieved.

"You mean where I call you darling instead of a math geek?" Mary said, accepting a tiny bit of capability in their silly fight. She watched as Matthew released a long, shallow, nervous breath he seemed to have been holding while waiting for her answer. Mary was in awe at her fiancée. She had never known, let alone dated, anyone that provoked such passion in her before. Mary felt like a clean slate when she looked at him, as if he was the fountain of youth.

"Yes," he said fondly, still holding her hand, "I would appreciate something more like that."

"Well," Mary replied, reaching over to brush her free hand through his hair. "Darling, how was your day?" she asked simply.

Mary was starting to form a theory about his odd disposition.

"My day?" Matthew seemed surprised by her mundane question. Mary raised her eyebrows and prompted him to answer her question, which because of his manors, he was forced to oblige. She could have chuckled at the sweetness of his disposition, and she might have allowed herself to do so if he wasn't already on edge. Something was bothering him.

"Well, I met with several clients and…. " Matthew cleared his throat, "And then I had errands." He brought her hand to his lips again and kissed it.

"What errands?" she pressed him. "I thought William was your always present dutiful helper?"

"I had to pick something up at my mother's," Matthew said hesitantly. Their introduction had not gone exactly as he had hoped it would.

Mary felt her blood run almost cold; she could safely say that his mother was definitely an unexpected twist in their relationship. She had never met anyone that was more intimidating in her life. Mary had felt accused of sorcery, a witch on trial as she had sat in his mother's kitchen. She was asked countless questions and then offered cherry cobbler with a smile. And yet there was no mistaking her distinct impression that Isobel thought she was in no way good enough for her son. Suddenly, Mary looked at Matthew and saw the tired, puffy eyes, the flushed face, and his peeved disposition and wondered why he hadn't told her.

"You've been ill," she said. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have taken care of you, darling. You didn't have to go running back to your mother."

A part of Matthew was bowled over that she had decoded his secret, the other part touched by her sincerity, and then he was annoyed at her implication of being a momma's boy.

"My mother is a nurse," he said defensively.

That tender, forced smile on his face was back. And then Mary thought about the bag lady in Milan. She didn't mean it to be cruel, but she realized it did sound callous, at the very least. Lucy certainly wasn't known for her tact. Mary sighed. Having hop-scotched their way right into a sudden engagement was proving to be quite tricky from time to time, especially in circumstances such as they were in now. The thought that she couldn't cheer him up or take care of him adequately hurt her pride; she hadn't thought she was so superficial or selfish. But Matthew had avoided her when he was under the weather.

"You didn't have to come tonight," she said, returning his gesture by bringing his hand to her lips for a lingering kiss.

"Yes, I did," Matthew shot back stubbornly. He couldn't imagine the rubbish Mary's friends would have said about him if he was absent.

"Well darling," Mary said fondly, "since we are facing some facts here, I think you should face the fact you are exhausted and stressed. And I would like to take you home," she paused and added with a little romantic gleam in her eyes, "now."

There was a pause between them for a minute, especially once Mary realized what she had just actually said. She had been looking forward to this evening for weeks. The dress she was wearing was custom made, for heaven's sake! Mary wanted her friends to envy her and finally understand why she loved Matthew so very deeply. She had even hoped her father might make a toast to give them extra lavish attention, which she craved. However, the last spark of these desires became a thing of the past when Matthew spoke again.

"Lavinia, would have never spoken so bluntly to me," he said quietly.

"I'm not Lavinia," Mary said boldly, squeezing his hands.

Mary casually crossed her legs and subtly inched the ruffled material of her custom made dress up her thigh for him to witness. She enjoyed the way his hungry eyes bulged.

"Mary," he pleaded after licking his lips.

"Yes, darling?" she said innocently. He shook his head to try and focus.

"The truth is…" Matthew fidgeted with their intertwined hands. "I suppose I don't know what to do in our relationship. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings by avoiding you. I always took care of Lavnia, but it didn't work the other way around. Her health was fragile, and I didn't want to expect anything or worry her, so..."

"Your mother really won't like me now, though," Mary said honestly. "Don't you see, darling?"

They shared a laugh together before Matthew started coughing.

"It is a pity I will have to divest you of that suit," Mary said running her hands up over his chest."But I suppose it will look good on your bedroom floor too," she said flirtatiously.

"We can have our own black and white ball," Matthew said, moving his hand in a risqué manor up her slightly exposed thigh and then under the thin silk lining of her dress. Mary gasped at his sudden boldness.

As they snuck out of the crowded ballroom, nobody seemed to notice their departure. Mary's last thought as she sat in their Jaguar driving away together was how if her father did give a toast and they couldn't be found, it would create a whole new kind of buzz. She would, therefore, get both the notoriety and a private evening with her fiancée; Mary could, in fact, have it both ways.

Several of Mary's old friends and their beau's had met her and Matthew to take in a special viewing of the movie, "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid." Westerns were a genre that neither she nor Matthew particularly cared for or understood, but the costume party before the screening had tempered her. Besides, Mary loved any excuse to dress up, and this was something completely different, outside the ordinary.

At the theatre, there were Wild West games being played before the movie. Mary was amused at how well Matthew had performed at the bobbing for apples and how poorly he did at the firing range. It was a stark contrast though when she watched her friends interact with Matthew. Lucy kept calling him "Matt" with a snicker.

"I prefer my full name," he said politely. However, Lucy's next barb was a low blow.

"Which is Door Matt?" She said before throwing her arm around him and offering reassurance that she was only kidding. It was rather a sycophantic display. Mary was rather blindsided by her friend's tactless behavior. It was as though now, for the first time, their separate worlds were colliding, and Mary didn't like the fallout. She felt betrayed and embarrassed. There was no possible way Matthew was having a good time, and yet he still kept a sweet, gentle smile on his face.

Mary felt almost a complete disconnect with some of her oldest companions. The shallow topics they discussed annoyed her. So, she was relieved when the theatre's fun and games finally wrapped up. Mary approached Matthew and, once again, admired his costume. He looked like the nicest cowboy she had ever seen. As she approached, his smile grew, and he tipped his cowboy hat in her direction. "Howdy ma'am," he said politely and extended his arm for her to take.

"This evening," Mary spoke quietly, "is not what I expected." It was her way of saying she was sorry in a discreet manor. "So, thank you for being such a good sport, darling."

"Mary," his voice was edgy, and she could hear the way his nerves affected his speech. And yet there was strength in the cadence of voice that surprised her. He might be a very sensitive person, but he was not easily bullied, she had discovered.

Matthew chuckled, "I would do anything for you."

She draped her arms around Matthew's neck. "I want you. Like one of those old fashioned wanted posters, except mine would be an advertisement boastfully proclaiming you as, sexy and mine."

"You do make me feel wanted Mary," he said tenderly. "All the time, every minute." He paused. "I've never had that constant feeling before. It crowds out all the other sensations. I like it," he concluded shyly.

Teasing and flirting were easy, but now Mary felt inadequate at his heartfelt declaration. She was guilty by association and berated herself for her cattish friends.

"Mary," he whispered, "shall I demonstrate this wanted feeling?"

She looked into his loving expression and felt a charge of electricity jolt through her. It would be a pity not to encourage him. She loved to see that spark in his eyes, and so she nodded. His arms encircled her, supporting her as he dipped her low. His accompanying kiss showed absolutely no restraint. Mary was exceedingly pleased with the public display of affection. They only broke apart when her mobile started to vibrate in the pocket of her tiny skirt. Lost in the sensual moment, for an instant, she wondered if it was Matthew rubbing against her. He was, after all, responsible for producing the throbbing she felt between her legs.

As Matthew brought her back upright, they both giggled. Mary checked her mobile and found a catty text message from her friend Lucy: "I saved seats for you and Door Matt. You're welcome." She showed it to Matthew with a roll of her eyes. Mary proudly took his hand as they walked through the dark. She didn't care that no one could see them. It didn't matter what they thought anyway.

After the movie, they decided to go to her parents' penthouse. It was an easy decision because they were out of town and it was closer than Matthew's flat. They'd made it as far as the den when Mary couldn't wait any longer. She stripped off her costume eagerly to reveal her special brazier. It had tassels on the nipples and fringe all around the edges. Her bikini underwear were of a similar style. There was a certain novelty to the absurdity of this clothing that appealed to the adventurous side of their evolving relationship.

Matthew took a flask out of his trouser pocket and took a long sip before offering it to her, licking his lips at her sensual appearance. Mary noticed that he still had traces of her lipstick on his face from their kiss in the theatre lobby. She had left her mark on him. Mary took the offered flask and sipped. But she coughed upon taking in a rather large unexpected drink of whiskey.

"No wonder you were so easy going about my awful friends," she teased as she handed back the flask.

"Let's sit at the piano," he said playfully. And with one strong, confident maneuver, he picked Mary up and set her on top of the grand instrument. She laughed at her heightened position. Matthew had just, in a sense, set her on a pedestal above him. In nothing but her bra, panties, and cowboy boots she felt in complete control and loved the feeling of finally being alone with him. As his fingers experimented with the keys on the piano, Matthew's grin grew mischievous.

"She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes," he sang his voice deeper and more sensual than she could have thought possible. Mary uncrossed her legs and reached out for Matthew. She locked her boots around his neck with a grin.

"Yeehaw!" Mary cried in mocking western twang as Matthew pushed her against the piano. She climbed down till she was seated on the black and white keys. Her body writhing against the cords produced strangely erotic background sounds for the intimacy they were about to share. Matthew was kissing and sucking her thighs, and she felt herself weaken with each tender lick and caress. She untied his kerchief and used it to blindfold him. He ceased his ministrations as he realized her game. Mary hopped down from the piano and started to undress Matthew. She tickled his bare chest. And when it came time to remove his trousers, she took his hand and let him only steps away to the large, plush rug in front of the magnificent gas fireplace.

"I'm going to lie down," Mary instructed Matthew as she removed his trousers. She made sure to stroke him intimately, if only casually, teasingly, as she did so. And then, to further test his limits, she redressed him in only his chaps. Matthew's blindfolded face was still extremely expressive at this time delay, and he groaned in frustration.

"I want to be acquainted with this mountain you spoke of," she teased. "I want to come around it... again...and again."

"As you wish," Matthew growled as he ripped the blindfold from his face and crawled towards her with a look of deliciously amorous need. "Remember my solemn vow: I'd do anything for you, Mary," he said playfully.

Matthew's face was smashed against the carpet. He was lying on his stomach next to the grand piano, sound asleep. And he was wearing nothing but a pair of chaps.

Mary gingerly sat up and surveyed her parents' penthouse den. The steady chime of the grandfather clock had awakened her, she realized. The room was adorned with their discarded clothing sprinkled about like confetti. She rubbed her eyes with a feeling of sleepy bliss. But then she froze as she heard the distant sound of the front door slamming. The echo was far away and yet crystal clear. Her first concern was not that she was naked, but that Matthew was. And her parents were home a day early.

"Matthew," Mary said frantically as she tried to wake him. He had a silly grin plastered on his face and refused to acquiesce to her demands. She heard large, heavy footsteps approaching, and, though she knew how much her father loved Matthew, there were also certain things that he should never see. She pinched her fiancée's earlobes, and he only batted her hands away. Time was not on her side. A throat was cleared just around the corner.

"Lady Mary," addressed the voice. She froze, hunched over, trying to conceal her naked body by using Matthew's equally naked form as a shield. The voice was not her father's, but the penthouse's security coordinator, Mr. Carson. She exhaled her panicked breath.

"Your parents have arrived home early. They will be in the sunroom off the library when you and your fiancée are ready to greet them. Breakfast we be served shortly afterwards."

His footsteps then quickly trailed away after this announcement.

"Matthew!" Mary hissed again, and, this time, she punctuated her insistence with a kiss, finally earning a response. With all the modesty possible, his agile mind quickly grasped the predicament they had only narrowly escaped. His movements were almost comically frantic as he searched for his missing clothing. They only succumbed to the need for further kissing twice as they finished dressing.

As they made their way hand in hand towards the sunroom to politely greet her parents, they passed Mr. Carson in the hallway. His seemingly stern gaze softened just for a second, and he winked.

Mary looked up from her book, her mind wondering as she couldn't focus. She was shocked to see her friend, Lucy, standing awkwardly just outside the hospital room. Mary glanced at Matthew, his eyes closed as he was on the cusp of falling asleep. She waited for Lucy to speak first.

"I'm sorry," Lucy said quietly, stepping forward. She noticed Matthew and whispered, "For everything." The words hung between them for a moment before she continued. "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" she asked with a genuine smile of compassion. "We could talk…."

"I think that's a great idea," Matthew's sleepy voice said, his hooded eyes now open.

"Oh, hello, Matthew," Lucy said with some hesitation as she addressed him.

"Hello, Lucy," he replied cordially without delay.

The weight on Mary's shoulders lessoned, and she released a breath she didn't even know she had been holding. She thought about Matthew's grief over William, and she had a new appreciation for Lucy.

"Go," Matthew urged his wife before yawning.

"The hospital cafeteria does a passable latte," Mary conceded, stating the terms of their truce. She watched Lucy flinch in confusion, obviously surprised they would be staying on the premises. But she nodded and gestured for her to lead the way. Mary was impressed by the effort her friend was making. Even if it was long overdue, it was a good start. She kissed Matthew and left with Lucy to make amends.

Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

"Yeehaw!" – As Mary would say. *Author blushes*

I eagerly await any feedback and reviews. Also don't forget to check tumblr for posts that correspond to this chapter and this AU universe!