The end! Or is it...?

Yeah... Can't think of anything interesting to say at this moment, it's 10:30 at night.

'Death on a Stick' is what my dad wanted to name his character in Din's Curse, but it wouldn't fit, so he settled for 'Death Stick.'

Short 9

Plague Knight looked down, seemingly regretful, at the small vial of potion. "24 chickens have died now because of my stupidity." Xenon meowed and rubbed against his legs, seemingly attempting to comfort him.

Mona looked to him, confused. "No, you're killed far more than just 24 of them."

"I meant within the past week," Plague Knight clarified as he reached down to pet his cat.

Mona clicked her tongue. "Then, yes. You have killed 24 chickens."

"Of my own stupidity," Plague Knight added.

"It wasn't stupidity."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"I will."

There was silence for a minute as the two alchemists ran about gathering the necessary ingredients so they could end this nightmare.

"Where's the Death on a Stick?" Mona asked, all too casually if you asked anyone that didn't know what she was referring to, such as the Magicist, who was sitting in the corner. In all actually, she was referring to an acidic combination they had made. It did possess a scientific name like other compounds, but they had given it a nickname after they accidentally spilled it on a random propped up stick (no one was really sure why it was there), which then inexplicably fell and smashed a passing minion over the head, instantly killing him when the acid burned through his skull.

Plague Knight paused for a moment as he tried to remember. "Didn't you leave it by the Parent's Fire?"

Mona nodded thoughtfully and went to retrieve some Death on a Stick.

The Magicist, who had been attempting to read a book, though admittedly was eavesdropping, looked up with a snort, amused and confused. "Parent's Fire?"

Plague Knight looked to her. "Oh, you never heard that story?"

"If I did, I don't remember it."

"But you've heard Death on a Stick?"

The Magicist let out a small laugh. "Hell no, I haven't! And quite frankly, I'm too scared to know that one. But Parent's Fire sounds relatively tame."

Plague Knight let out his own laugh, this one a sharp bark. "No, you've got it backwards, actually. Still want to know?"

The Magicist frowned and replied hesitantly, "Sure…"

Plague Knight smiled, but it was far from happy. It was more like a desperately hidden grimace. "OK then. Parent's Fire is a rather poor nickname I came up with back when… I'd say I wasn't even past 10. It's for a combination of chemicals that, when mixed together, will nigh-instantly combust. Using it is actually incredibly risky, as I found when I nearly blew half my face off. On the bright side, however, I did this not long after my parents died, therefore semi-accidently burning down their house, hence the name."

"Semi?" The Magicist asked.

Plague Knight shrugged. "Well, you see, I planned on ridding this planet of that wrenched place, regardless. Burning it down with the Parent's Fire and not melting my face off in the process was just a perfect coincidence."

The Magicist nodded. "I see… So, that means that 'Adam's' cover story is oddly accurately, isn't it?"

Plague Knight smiled. "Yes, though I'm sure that wasn't intentional."

"Correct," Mona chimed in. "Though it would have helped you if you were ever questioned on it. You wouldn't have had to think too much."

"Don't say it like that," Plague Knight advised. "We aren't out of this mess yet, don't talk like I'm back to my normal age. You're going to jinx it."

"Are you superstitious?" Mona questioned. "You don't seem like it."

"You got to be careful to avoid making the situation any worse than it already is."

"Fair enough, but unless you die, it can't get worse, right?"

"NO!" Plague Knight groaned. "Stop that! You're going to cause my terrible luck to rear its ugly head again!"

"No, I won't. If the universe should punish anyone, let it be Percy."

This brought a small smile to Plague Knight's face. "Yes, I think I like that idea, though it will likely never work."

"Stop thinking pessimistically."

"I'm stuck in the body of a child, and I despised my childhood. Do you honestly expect me to be optimistic?"

"Of course I do. You're not the pessimistic type."

Plague Knight scoffed. "I'm neither. I'm a realist, remember?"

"I thought we settled on 'pessimistic realist'?"

"What, no! I rejected that!"

"I think you're remembering incorrectly."

"Frankly, I believe you're the one with the faulty memory here!"

The Magicist, in her little corner, watched the two bicker with increasing concern. She was unsure of whether they argued in such a manner on a regular basis, and as such was unsure if she should try to intervene.

Luckily for her, the two calmed quickly. "Let's just get this over with," Plague Knight requested.

"Gladly," Mona replied.

The alchemists started their work, easily flowing this way and that with a clear practiced ease, gathering this and putting in that. The Magicist watched with interest, having never watched the two work. She thought it akin to a dance, as no words were exchanged between the two, since the necessary ingredients were already gathered, and all that was left was the execution, of which they had already done not a full two days ago.

The potion they were making was nothing short of the exact same thing that they did which caused the issue to begin with, only with a change in the usage of magic. Admittedly, the Magicist was unsure if simply changing the exact usage of the liquid magic, and nothing else, would actually reverse the effects, but it was the only thing that she could think of. She knew, to put it bluntly, jack shit about the alchemy portion of the potion, and that was over 90 percent of it.

Several minutes passed, and then the two stepped back, looking at the magician expectantly. Rising from her chair, she played her part and messed with the liquid magic as best she could in the hopes that it would do what they wanted.

Soon enough, Plague Knight was holding his vial of product, staring at it. "You sure this won't kill me?"

"Hopefully," the Magicist answered.

"Not 'definitely'?" Mona questioned.

"Nothing's definite with magic. It's been recorded that sometimes people have tried to use the most basic fireball spell and as a result have spontaneously combust, so…"

Plague Knight stared, seemingly terrified, as though he were silently asking if she was attempting to murder him.

"Don't worry, you should be fine," she immediately told him, though failing to reassure him like she had wanted.

"Better write your will now," Mona advised.

"Are you insulting me?" The Magicist asked.

"Maybe, maybe not. You decide."

Plague Knight sighed as the two women squabbled. "And I thought men were supposed to be the stupid ones."

The females paused and looked him, telling him simultaneously, "You are."

"Then why are you the ones acting like a pair of Magpies fighting over a shiny object?"

The two women paused and looked to each other. "Good question…" they muttered at the same time.

Plague Knight looked at them, dumbfounded. "Wow, you are in sync today!" He held up the vial. "This better not kill me," he warned.

"Or what, you'll die?" The Magicist asked. "Seems like that'll be a given if it kills you."

"Oh, yes, I will die if it kills me. And I will grant Mona explicit permission to wreck your shit if I do."

Mona grinned in the direction of the Magicist and cracked her knuckles in a threatening manner, much to Plague Knight's amusement.

"And they think women can't be threatening," he chuckled. "Idiots."

"Any hopeful-not-last-words?" Mona asked.

Plague Knight very briefly thought to tell her how he felt about her. However, he just as quickly snuffed out the thought. It wouldn't exactly be as dramatic as he would like, if anything. He'd likely tell her, down the vial, and then… nothing for several minutes, leaving everything much too awkward for his liking. Not to mention, if it didn't kill him, then he'd have to own up to it, and he just wasn't ready to do that. Not that he ever would be.

Lying through his teeth, he declared, "No. I'll have no regrets if I die here other than not being able to conduct any more experiments."

He swore he say disappointment flash across the faces of both females, though he could not discern why, at least for the Magicist. Did they expect him to announce something big involving them? He forced the thought away and tried to keep a straight face, downing the potion to distract him. Immediately, he almost coughed it up, thinking to himself, 'This tastes terrible!'

The disgust must have been obvious on his face, because Mona questioned, "What's wrong?"

Plague Knight managed to swallow the substance. He frowned and said, "That was positively revolting!"

Mona frowned as well at the news. He had never once complained about taste before. "Your child side must be acting up again."

"The sooner it's gone, the better," Plague Knight muttered as he hopped onto a nearby chair to await whatever change would soon befall him. Xenon followed closely and hopped onto his lap once he was settled.

While waiting, he merely hoped that it would revert him back to his normal age, rather give him a new disability to contend with. Knowing his luck (coupled with Mona's inevitable jinxing), that was the most likely thing to happen, though he silently prayed to the gods that he didn't even believe in to grant him this one thing.

Unfortunately, the higher-ups apparently hated him. He doubted it was because of the whole 'alchemy is illegal' thing; hell, at least he was bothering to obey the laws of nature, not like those who practiced magic. No, he figured it was just because they were cruel little bastards.

Whatever the reasoning, he felt the potion turn to a large lump in his stomach, and it made him feel sick. It kind of made him want to simply curl up in a ball and die. He was vaguely aware of Mona, or maybe it was the Magicist, talking to him, or maybe the speech was directed to the woman that wasn't speaking, he really couldn't tell. He was much too focused on the unsettling feeling of what he assumed was a potion turning into a solid halfway through his digestive system.

Suddenly, he was falling out of his chair. Now any speech was definitely directed to him. Xenon meowed worriedly and rubbed against his hand.

He didn't want his companions to worry, so he pushed himself up onto his knees and looked up. The Magicist was looming over him, staring. It started to unnerve him quickly. "Can you not?" He requested.

"What's wrong?" The Magicist asked, still staring.

"Stop staring," he demanded.

"Answer!"

Plague Knight was taken aback by the firmness in her voice, and it took him a moment to remember that he was incredibly uncomfortable with the semi-solid lump in his gut.

"Answer!" She repeated.

"It feels like it's turned into a solid in my stomach," he finally informed her.

Not exactly to his surprise, the Magicist looked unhappy at this development. "Crap," she muttered, turning. Looking to Mona, she said, "Make sure he doesn't die," before rushing out.

Judging from Mona's confused look, Plague Knight guessed she was silently asking 'And just how am I supposed to do that?'

A moment passed, and then the Magicist was back, holding a small something-or-other. Neither alchemist was quite sure what it was. It reminded him of a rock… or maybe a sponge. That was blue.

She approached Plague Knight, holding the whatever-it-was out to him. Though he was confused as to what it did, he took it nevertheless, squeezing it and finding that it wasn't solid enough to be stone, but not soft enough to be a sponge.

"What is it?" Mona asked before he had a chance.

"It's likely we had a bad chicken in the batch," the Magicist answered unhelpfully.

"Not what I meant, but okay…"

"Meaning…?" Plague Knight questioned.

"It'll… well, effects vary depending on your usage of magic, and therefore how much your body is accustomed to it, which means for you, well…" She paused for a second before spitting it out, "Very likely death."

Both alchemists silently stared at the magic-user, the looks on their faces making it clear that they were non-verbally asking if this was some sort of sick prank.

Plague Knight took a deep breath. "How long do I have?"

"Not long," the Magicist replied.

"Christ, I was kidding about him needing to write his will!" Mona yelled, distraught.

"Calm down!" The Magicist ordered. She pointed to the object in Plague Knight's hand. "That will save him."

Plague Knight too looked at the item, raising an eyebrow. "And you just happened to have this lying about…?"

"Yep. This isn't exactly common, but it happens often enough that I carry one around just in case."

"No, this is just oddly convenient. I'm assuming the author-"

"Stay away from the fourth wall!" The Magicist screeched, making Plague Knight jump in shock.

"Alright, alright, just don't screech anymore."

Mona started snapping in the Magicist's face. "Shouldn't we be worrying about the fact that he's about to die, not that he's talking about something that probably doesn't even exist?!"

"It does exist," the Magicist informed her. "But you're right! Plague Knight, focus all your magic into that thing you're holding!"

Plague Knight laughed. "That 'thing'? Doesn't it have a name?"

"Yes, but that would just serve to confuse you. Now do it!"

Plague Knight's grip tightened on the object as he tried to figure out how to do that. He guessed that he got it when the thing started to glow. "Is that normal?" He asked, just to be sure.

"Yes, good. Keep it up," the Magicist told him.

"For how long?" Plague Knight grunted.

"For as long as it takes for you to no longer feel sick."

Plague Knight nodded and returned his focus to the item in his hand. When he was sure the sickening feeling in his gut was gone, he released the thing from his grasp. He sighed and flopped to the ground. Xenon immediately made herself at home on his stomach. "Well, this sucks."

"What, that you almost died?" Mona asked, sending a half-hearted glare at the Magicist. She knew it wasn't the other woman's fault, but that didn't mean she wasn't unhappy.

"Well, that too. But now I can't be my normal age again."

"Yes, you can be…" Mona told him.

"Not without any more chicken deaths! I won't have that!"

Mona frowned. She looked to the Magicist. "Isn't there any other way to get the magic we need?"

"Not unless we want to risk killing a couple humans and getting caught, or try to find one with the capacity that might survive. But where are we going to find that?"

"What about any of the adventurers that come by every once and awhile? Surely no one would notice if they went missing."

"I'd feel guilty if we killed them," the Magicist told her with a frown.

Mona put her hands on her hips. "And just how do you think we felt about the poor chickens? They certainly deserved that fate much less."

"Yes, but they aren't human."

"So?!" Plague Knight piped up. "You said it's been proven they feel like they're being ripped in half. Who cares if they're human?"

"What are you two, animal rights activists? I won't do it."

"Fine, give us the materials and instructions and we'll figure it out ourselves," Plague Knight demanded.

"Find your victim, I'll confirm that he or she has the magical capacity, and then I'll give you the instructions. If you kill more than three people, though, I won't allow any more."

"Stick in the mud," Plague Knight muttered.

"What was that?" The Magicist asked.

"Nothing!"

Yep, it's still going. Pretty obvious, huh? I still have one more interesting plot point I want to put in, and overall, I'm just having too much fun with this little series, though I have a lot of other things I could be doing with my life.

As a matter of fact, I have a ton (5 in fact) of stories that I have on this laptop, only one of which I would even consider posting, though I'm not sure how anyone would react because it kinda, sorta, maybe, makes Shovel Knight into a sadistic torturer... Yeah... There's a reason I haven't actually posted it. I'm absolutely evil on the inside.