A Life of Lies
Chapter 10 - The Weight of the World
A/N - Not much to say, just that this is now finished apart from the epilogue, Woohoo! I think this is the fastest ever chapter story I've written! I've just loved writing it that much!
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!
It was a miserable November day, it was a typical November day for Scotland. The rain was lashing down so heavily that all flying classes had been cancelled and Care of Magical Creatures lessons had been moved to the great hall. The poor students who had Herbology were running across the grounds to the greenhouses as fast as possible. Harry felt like the weather was mirroring his awful mood. It was a Monday too which just made everything 10 times worse.
Harry had turned up at Hogwarts that morning just in time to grab some toast and run to make it to his first class. He'd left Lily at Hermione's and she'd promised to drop both girls off at their tutor before she went to work. Normally Hermione would drop Rose off and then detour to the burrow to drop the twins and Gwen off but with the ongoing situation she had to make other arrangements.
Harry had found it quite amusing at first actually. He'd taught his first class and in his bitter mood he'd taken a total of 20 points from Slytherin for reasons he would have normally overlooked. He assumed his 3rd years would spread the news and warn the other students that Professor Potter was in one of his moods. No doubt they'd all be walking on eggshells for the rest of the day. He had a free period now before his next class after interval so he planned on finding Draco, he walked down to the dungeons to do just that when he came upon an interesting sight.
Through the glass pane of his office Harry saw Snape looking exasperated as he tried to entertain Nicholas and Samson meanwhile Gwen was bouncing up and down on his lap. Harry grinned and walked into the mans office, "Babysitting?" He asked with a chuckle.
Snape breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the man, "Potter, thank God. I don't understand children."
Harry's amusement increased as he said hello to the boys and Gwen, he turned back to Snape, "Why are they here anyway?" He asked as he sunk back into an armchair across from Snape's desk.
Snape's eyes darkened, "Hermione said she couldn't take them to the burrow and she had no one else who'd look after them, since I don't take classes anymore she thought I'd be perfect for the job."
Harry laughed, "Perfect apart from the fact that you and children are the strangest mix since peanut butter and jam?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Exactly." Snape grumbled and Harry shook his head in amusement, he turned to the twins, "What's up guys?" He asked.
Samson replied, "I'm bored Uncle Harry." Nicholas nodded, echoing with a, "Me too!"
Harry nodded, it was pouring down outside so he'd have to think of an inside activity for them to do, he suddenly got an idea, "Hey you guys like wizard chess don't you?" He asked, both boys nodded eagerly and Harry smiled, "Severus taught Lily how to play, he can teach you too."
The twins eagerly nodded and Severus looked a little relieved that he could do something now, "I'll take Gwen for the day." Harry offered, he walked forward and lifted his arms out to her but she folded hers around her chest, "No! I want to stay with Severus!" She complained and Harry raised an eyebrow at Severus who just shrugged, "You can come to all of my classes with me…" He said slowly, bribing the girl.
Gwen thought about it, and then jumped down and let Harry pick her up, Harry smiled at Snape, "I'll check back in on you at dinner time." He said, "Oh and watch out for those two, they cheat like nothing else when they play chess."
With that Harry walked out of the door, carrying Gwen on his hip, "Do you want to help me teach my first years?" Harry asked Gwen who nodded with a bright grin, Harry smiled back at her, his goddaughter had him wrapped around her little finger and she was only 4.
"Gained another child since I last saw you Potter?" A cool voice drawled and it sent shivers up Harry's spine, he forced himself to keep a calm façade as he looked up at Draco, he was leaning against the wall, a small smirk on his face.
"This is Guinevere." Harry said calmly, "Guinevere Granger."
Gwen cut in, "But everyone calls me Gwen because Guinevere is too long." She said matter of factly, she wriggled so Harry put her down, she stood a little away from Draco, as if keeping a cautious distance.
"That's Grangers kid?" Draco asked, sounding surprised, Harry nodded and narrowed his eyes at the man, "What do you want?" He asked.
Draco shrugged, "What? I can't meet you in a corridor and have a chat with you?" He asked innocently but Harry knew there was more to it than that.
Harry watched as Gwen walked a little away to talk to a portrait, he kept his eyes on her as he spoke to Draco, just in case she ran off, "No you can't, not after what happened on Saturday, we haven't had that talk yet."
"We're having it now." Draco said, he sounded too casual for the type of conversation they were having.
"I told Ginny yesterday, she left me. Lily's staying with Hermione and she left Ron and he knows about Snape so basically we're both disowned." Harry explained, looking briefly back at Draco. The pureblood snorted, "Disowned from the Weasley family tree? That's hardly something to cry over is it?"
Harry glared at him, "I'm ashamed of what happened, unlike you." He retorted.
"Oh I'm ashamed too." Draco assured the other man, "I'm just not planning on telling Astoria, ever, she'll take the kids away from me and leave for good."
"So you're the coward then," Harry said quietly so Gwen wouldn't hear, "Just like all those years ago when you were afraid of what the world would think, I guess once a coward always a coward."
Draco didn't say anything, he stared at Harry for a moment and then the boy who lived walked over to Gwen and took her hand and without glancing back at Draco he walked away.
Draco had gone straight to his rooms without dinner that evening after his final class of the day. He hadn't felt like eating anything since his talk with Harry in the corridor. He felt guiltier than ever, but not just for what he was doing to his wife, he felt guilty about how he left things with Harry that first time so many years ago.
Draco and Harry were lying in bed together, the warm sunlight shining through their hotel window, the silhouette of the Eiffel tower in the distance. Ever since they'd disappeared they'd been all over Europe but the adrenaline was beginning to wear off, the luxury and secrecy of it all wasn't as appealing anymore.
"Draco, I think I-" Harry had begun to say, but Draco cut him off, quickly putting a hand over his mouth, "Don't say it." He warned Harry as he stood and quickly began to get dressed.
Harry frowned, about to question the man, but Draco only shook his head, "If you say it this will get complicated." He explained as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and grabbed his bag, "It's a fling, that's all."
The hurt in Harry's eyes made Draco feel horrible but he hid it, "I'm a Malfoy I can't do this, I'm not supposed to be doing this." He said as he threw his bag over his shoulder.
"So that's it then? You're leaving because you're afraid of what the world will think? Of what the prophet will say?" Harry asked, standing up too and throwing his own clothes on.
"Yes I am and you should be too. We can't be doing this Harry, imagine what would happen when the prophet found out, Draco Malfoy and the saviour of the wizarding world." Draco shook his head, "I'm leaving and I'm going to marry a woman and have children, and you'll go back home and marry Ginny and we'll never talk about this again, we'll never see each other again." Draco walked towards the door but Harry held out a hand to stop him, there was a fire burning in his eyes, "Leave then Draco but both of us know this wasn't just a fling." He said.
Draco hesitated for a fraction of a second and the last thing that he heard as he walked out of the door was Harry's cold voice calling after him, he only said one word but Draco would never forget the bitterness it was said with.
"Coward."
Draco was pulled out of his thoughts by the portrait that guarded his rooms calling to him that his wife was here to see him. He quickly pulled himself together and told the portrait to let Astoria in. When she walked in Draco immediately knew something was wrong, she looked worried as she walked into the living room and for a split second Draco thought Ginny had told her.
"Draco, where is Ginny?" Astoria asked, "She quit yesterday and her friend Hermione told me that she and Harry are looking after Lily."
Draco bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, how could he explain this to her without telling her the truth? He knew telling her the truth was the right thing to do but how could he do it without losing everything important in his life?
"Yeah, she left Harry." Draco said in what he hoped was a casual tone of voice. Astoria's brow furrowed, "But why? They were fine. What happened?"
Draco made a rash decision in that moment when he replied, "Harry slept with someone else."
Astoria stared at him for a moment as if she was trying to put all the pieces together in her head, "Oh God Draco, you didn't." She said in a quiet pained voice.
Draco looked down, unable to meet her gaze, "I'm sorry Astoria." He said simply and he knew the words weren't enough to make up for what he'd done, nothing ever would be.
When Astoria didn't say anything for a long moment Draco looked up, she didn't look angry, just hurt as she caught Draco's eye, "I should have known." She said softly, "From the start I had my suspicions but you assured me that nothing would happen." She shook her head and repeated, "I should have known."
Draco shook his head, "You couldn't have Astoria, I didn't even know." He said, glad that they weren't fighting.
Astoria sighed deeply and took a step back, "I'm going to try and find Ginny, I'll owl you the divorce and custody papers." With another step she slid her engagement and wedding rings off her finger and put them on the coffee table, before Draco could say another word or try and stop her she'd walked out of the room and the portrait had slid shut behind her.
He wasn't sure what it was that stopped him from going after her but something did, he supposed he just didn't see the point anymore, it was finally over for good.
Draco knew what he needed to do know, he didn't like it but he knew. He walked to Harry's rooms and found out from the portrait that he wasn't staying there tonight, he was staying at Hermione's. Grudgingly Draco trudged down to the dungeons where he found Snape in his office.
"I need you to come with me to Hermione's." Draco said to the older man, he looked up from his paperwork with a frown, "Why?"
Draco sighed, "Because Harry's living there and I need to talk to him, but I don't know where she lives and she probably wouldn't let me in her house if I turned up alone." He explained with a look at Snape that practically begged him to help.
Severus grunted and stood up, "Fine." He said and he led the way to the apparation point at the gates. The two men walked in silence, until Draco spoke up halfway across the grounds, "Astoria left me because I slept with Harry."
"Hm." The man said thoughtfully, "That's a good enough reason to leave somebody."
Draco rolled his eyes, "I do feel guilty but its better this way, I'd feel worse lying to her for the rest of our lives."
"I suppose Potter's wife left him too then." Severus stated rather than asked. Draco nodded nonetheless, "He's been disowned from the Weasley family tree." He said with a strange bitter laugh, Severus smirked, "As has Hermione." He said, "Although as I told her it's not exactly a proud family tree to be in…"
Draco snorted, "I said the same thing to Harry, he didn't take kindly to it."
"Neither did Hermione." Severus said and the two men shared a small chuckle as they reached the apparation point, Severus told him the address and they spun on the spot, reappearing with a loud pop on the doorstep of a house.
Severus just walked in which surprised Draco, but he followed anyway. The door they'd arrived at was the backdoor and it led into a large kitchen. It was empty apart from Rose who was standing on a chair trying to reach the chocolate biscuits on the top shelf of a cabinet, when she spotted Severus she sighed in relief, "Severus! Please can you get that box down?"
Severus chuckled as he easily reached up and handed it to the girl, she grinned and thanked him before running into the living room. Severus put the chair back where it belonged and closed the cupboard door, treating the place like it was his house. Draco followed him further in when he walked into a hallway that had a door on the left, a staircase at the end and a large archway to the right. Severus walked through the archway into a large homey living room decorated with a fireplace and several comfy looking scarlet armchairs. Nicholas and Samson were sitting in front of the fireplace playing with miniature broomsticks that flew around the room, Rose and Lily were sitting on one of the two sofa's eating the biscuits Severus had gotten from the cupboard and Harry and Hermione were sitting on the other sofa with Gwen between them as Hermione read her a book.
When Hermione saw Severus and Draco she gave them a small smile and Harry looked in their direction, she continued to read the story to her daughter and Harry stood up and walked over to the pair, "What are you doing here Malfoy?" Harry asked coldly.
Draco quietly replied, "We need to talk Potter."
Severus pointed at the stairs, "There's another sitting room on the 3rd floor." He told them, Harry knew this of course and rather grudgingly led Draco to the second sitting room.
Hermione had a huge house. She and Ron had made a pretty good living for themselves but Hermione had largely paid for the house, being the head of a department brought in a lot of money but she wrote articles and papers and even books too and one of her biggest wishes had always been to get her dream house. The first floor had the kitchen, an informal dining room, a bathroom and the living room but as Harry and Draco went up the stairs to the second floor Draco looked around in surprise.
Harry noticed and pointed out what everything was, "That's the big dining room, the door at the end is the library and Hermione's study and the other door is Hermione's bedroom."
Draco followed Harry up to third floor, "I'm surprised that they have such a big house."
Harry shrugged, "The burrow was a big house, despite how shabby some people thought it was." He looked pointedly at the blonde who looked a little guilty. The two of them came out on the third floor which had a corridor with a door directly opposite them and three doors at the top.
Noticing Draco's curiosity Harry said, "The doors at the top are the kids room, Nick and Sam share, and this is where we're heading." He waked into the door opposite and they emerged into a living room, it was about half the size of the main living room and was clearly made for the kids.
The room had a round table in the corner with 4 seats, it was littered with drawing pads and crayons. There was a fireplace on the left side of the room which was barred off, Hermione was so worried someone would floo in and steal the kids when she was downstairs. At the far end of the room there was a diamond shaped wooden table and 4 two seater sofa's positioned around it.
Harry headed for the sofa's and summoned a bottle of firewhiskey and two glasses which appeared on the table with a pop. Draco frowned, "You can't transfigure food." He said in confusion as Harry poured the whiskey and slid it across the table to him.
Draco sat down on the sofa opposite Harry as the Gryffindor replied, "I didn't transfigure it, it's from Hermione's secret stash in the basement."
Draco was impressed "She has a basement?" He asked.
Harry nodded, as he poured himself some of the whiskey he'd given Draco, "Yep, complete with houselves, only her three houselves get paid vacation and wear clothes, they're a bit like Dobby, slightly crazy."
Draco knew it was harsh but he hadn't expected Granger and Weasley to do this well for themselves, Harry could practically see Draco's thoughts as he said, "It was mainly Hermione who paid for the house, it's pretty amazing, there are two floors above this one. My rooms on the very top floor."
"Anyway, I'm sure you didn't come here to talk about Hermione's house." Harry said, abruptly changing the subject back to why Draco was here in the first place.
Draco shook his head, "You're right, I didn't." He said, drinking from the glass of firewhiskey, "Astoria left me."
Harry was surprised and he didn't hide it quick enough, Draco saw it, he chuckled bitterly, "Not as much of a coward as you think I am Potter?"
Harry wasn't sure why they'd resorted back to second names but he didn't dwell on it for long, "Did you actually tell her or did she find out another way?"
"I told her." Draco said honestly, "She wondered why Ginny had quit her job and up and left so I told her the reason why." He finished the rest of his firewhiskey and poured himself some more, "She said she'd owl the divorce and custody papers to me and left."
Harry sighed, pouring himself another firewhiskey too, "The custody papers came from Ginny this morning, but when I sent Parsnip he couldn't track her down, they were for full permanent custody."
"Wherever she is I'll bet Astoria's with her." Draco said, thoughtfully, he caught Harry's eye, "We really messed up, didn't we?"
"Yeah." Harry said truthfully, "We really did."
Both men downed their second firewhiskey but didn't get a chance to have a third because they were distracted by Hermione shouting at Gwen. They left the room and saw Gwen screaming and shouting as Hermione carried her, "No Guinevere Granger! I've told you countless times that you aren't allowed in Severus's lab when he's working! It's dangerous!"
Hermione sighed as she put the girl in her room and closed the door with the threat that she wasn't getting out until she calmed down. Harry raised an eyebrow at Hermione who sighed, "She always wants to be in his bloody lab and he messes around with all sorts of potions up there."
Harry smiled slightly, "She likes Severus, she's a little attached to him, is that really a bad thing?"
Hermione bit her lip, "No, for her, no. It's Rose and the boys I'm worried about, I don't want them to feel like he's replacing Ron."
"Well they'll still see Ron at weekends, won't they?" Harry asked as Hermione walked in the direction of the stairs down to the second floor.
"Who knows." Hermione said with a sigh, "I guess we'll find out on Friday if he turns up to pick them up." With that she walked down the stairs and Harry turned to Draco, "Want a tour of the rest of the house?" He asked as he tried to lighten the mood.
Draco nodded, "Sure." He replied and they made their way up to the 4th floor. There were only two doors on this floor, Harry opened the one directly ahead of them and all the lights came to life, Draco gaped at the huge ballroom with it's amazing high roof, there were about 10 tables and a large dance floor.
"It doesn't get used much." Harry admitted, "Just for anniversaries or important birthdays." He shut the door and the room darkened, the other door led to a huge bathroom, Harry then led Draco up to the 5th floor of the marvellous house. Again there were only two doors here, the roof of the ballroom was so high it took up two floors. The door to the left was slightly ajar and blue smoke was coming from it, Harry rolled his eyes, "That's Severus's lab, he makes experimental potions in it, it was Ron's study but when he moved out she switched it around."
Harry then opened the door to the right which led into a large bedroom with a big window that the light shone through. It was a simple room with just a bed, a sofa and a small square coffee table, there was a door leading to an ensuite bathroom in it too, "And this is my room." Harry said as he sat down on the sofa, with a wave of his wand their half empty bottle of whiskey and their glasses were on the table in front of them, craving the numb feeling firewhiskey brought Draco sat down next to Harry on the couch.
The two men drank in silence until the bottle was finished, they were both so immersed in their thoughts it took a few minutes for them to notice the tapping sound at the window but Draco noticed it first, he glanced up and was surprised to see his owl there. He opened the window and let it in, it dropped three envelopes in front of him. Moving back to the sofa Draco opened them, the first was divorce forms signed by Astoria, he just needed to sign them and send them back, the second envelope contained custody papers and Draco's breath hitched when he read the words aloud, "Full permanent custody of Neve Saffron Malfoy and Katherine Ruby Malfoy."
"She's definitely with Ginny." Harry said dully as he stared into his glass. Draco's hands were shaking a little as he opened the 3rd and final envelope to find a letter from Astoria,
Draco,
Ginny and I decided to start anew. We moved to a foreign country, I won't tell you where because we don't want you to come looking for us. You probably think we're monsters, leaving our kids like that but we have our reasons and don't expect you to understand them. You'll probably never see us again so best regards. The kids are with your parents, pick them up whenever you want, they are now you're responsibility.
Astoria.
He had read the letter aloud and Harry had scoffed, summoning another bottle of whiskey and forgetting the glass this time he swigged from the bottle. Draco grabbed the bottle from him and did the same thing, both of them aware of how royally screwed up their lives were forever going to be from this day forward.
TBC.
Just the epilogue to go now and it's set a few years after this chapter =)