Author's Note: Well, it's definitely been a while. I'm sorry about that one, but hopefully, my updates will be more frequent now. These next two chapters should wrap up a great deal; then I can get on with getting back to the point of this story. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this so far, and to everyone who has reviewed/favourited/alerted/etc. You're amazing.

Author's Note 2: My apologies to Jay-Leigh17 for taking so long to keep my side of the bargain. But you're awesome so I know you'll forgive me. :)

Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own Criminal Minds. However, if I did, AJ Cook and Paget Brewster would still have full time roles. Stupid CBS.

CONFESSIONS

2 Days Ago

Needless to say, both agents had a less than great nights sleep that night. Each lay in bed staring at their ceiling until the early hours, exhausted but unable to sleep; their minds firmly focused on each other but completely unaware that not too far away, the other was playing out the exact same routine.

After finally getting a mere few hours of sleep, Emily opened her eyes and found herself smiling. Genuinely smiling. Memories of the dream that she'd just drifted from ran through her mind like a luxurious summer breeze and filled her belly with a strange warmth that radiated up through her chest. But that moment of perfection soon turned putrid and painful, fleeted from her in the blink of an eye as she remembered that in this world, in reality, JJ was not hers and she never would be. Not really. To the naked eye, her dreamy reality had been nothing but trivial, insignificant and pointless; but to her, to her who longed for such simplicity over the returning hammering in her brain, that scenario was pure heaven.

Arriving at work an hour or so later, Emily walked silently, almost dejected, over to her desk. She did not want to be interrupted today; she didn't have the energy for the pretence necessary to avoid unwanted questions, and she certainly didn't have the energy for the pitying yet happy look that she was certain she'd see in bright blue eyes - the one that told her that JJ's evening with Will had been perfection, the catalyst to end their relationship. If you could even call it that. So instead, her intention was to keep herself to herself, get on with her work and make it through this damn day that she wished was already over. For the first time since she first joined the BAU, when she was longing for the opportunity to prove herself, she found herself actually hoping for a case; at least that way she wouldn't have the time to think, there would be no time for her friends to profile her because they'd be too busy profiling serial killers, and there would be no time for JJ to offer crumbs of sympathy that she just did not want.

Thankfully, the brunette was granted a few hours of solace; in which time no case came up, but she was at least left alone. She sat at her desk, buried in paper work, and for that short time, she had actually forgotten about everything. Her old compartmentalisation skills seemed to be kicking in, and she was able to focus on the task at hand, rather than the blonde who unknowingly had her heart and was crushing into her perfect hands.

By the time that lunch time approached, Emily had completely lost track of even what day it was. She was on her fourth cup of coffee and had already wrapped up the paperwork for three cases, about to start on the fourth.

"Hey, hot stuff."

The voice startled her and she looked up from her paper work for the first time in over four hours, smiling as she saw Morgan stood before her. Emily didn't realise it before but she needed him; she needed his banter, and she needed the warmth that she always seemed to feel in his company, and she just.. she just needed him.

"Lunch?" He question as he leant against her desk.

Emily looked at him puzzled before glancing briefly at the time on her computer screen. She read 12:07, and after wondering for a second how the hell she'd managed to let the past four hours completely slip her by, she lifted her head to answer him but he interrupted.

"I'm not taking no for an answer, so don't bother." He had a warm smile playing across his lips and Emily knew in that second that his determination would out-weigh any that she had of declining his offer, however busy she claimed to be.

She wasn't busy. In fact, her determination to shut off her mind had enabled her to almost have finished everything that she'd had waiting for her when she'd arrived that morning and had actually set her miles ahead of where she needed to be deadline-wise. No, the real reason that she didn't want to be alone with him was because she knew that all it would take was one split second of accidentally letting her guard down, and one genuine and softly spoken sentence, and she'd be powerless to preventing herself from baring all. It was what she needed, of course; to unload everything, to share the feelings that she'd forced herself to keep guarded and locked away. But if she spoke of them, there would be no pretending anymore; they'd become real, and she knew that she could never take them back. They'd either be the butt of his jokes for years to come or they'd end up in the hands of Garcia, which of course would mean that eventually, they would make their way to JJ and..

Her mind spun and spun with all the over-thought possibilities of what could happen, and she finally wound herself into a knot so tight that even she couldn't think her way out of it. Her response jumped from her lips for her as her brain took pity on her and threw her a lifeline. "Sure."

The two opted for fast food. Emily typically stayed away from fast food, but realising that she couldn't actually remember the last time that she had eaten, she figured that it was better than nothing. After pulling away from the drive-thru of a local burger place, they drove to a fairly quiet spot to park up and eat their lunch. The pair ate mostly in silence; both people watching, and only spoke occasionally to make a joke about some poor unfortunate that had just passed by.

Once their lunches were finished, Emily's touched but just barely, it was Morgan who spoke first. He'd spent the majority of the silence trying to find the words to approach the subject with Emily - to let her know that he knew, that he knew everything, and after coming up short, her decided instead to jump in at the deep end. "You need to tell her, Em."

Emily almost choked on her coffee. She'd at least thought that she could've played a little, tested the waters and jumped out if it was too dangerous. But his not so subtle approach left her no wiggle room. Still, not wanting to divulge any unnecessary information, in case in her fear she had misunderstood his words, she decided to play it coy. "Tell.. who.. what?"

Morgan smiled at her feeble attempt of pretending to be oblivious before continuing. "Don't play with me, Emily. JJ. I know about all of it, the whole love affair."

She knew that there was no misunderstanding that one, no chance of even pretending. All she'd achieve is possibly insulting his intelligence and that was kind of unfair since he'd somehow gotten past her infamous skills for hiding in plain sight. Instead of pretending to be surprised, Emily sighed in defeat and asked the only question that she could. "How?"

Happy that she'd not denied anything, Morgan turned fully in his seat so that he was facing the brunette before he began. "First of all, I didn't properly until now. I mean, I did, but I needed confirmation, and you just gave me that. Also ya know, over the past few months there's been a considerable increase in the amount of times that the both of you had just had to nip off to sort a few things." He said that last part with a grin before softening the smile slightly. "I'm a profiler, Em. There's really no getting away from that. It's my job to notice things and it's kinda engrained into me."

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Emily was secretly glad that he hadn't; she wouldn't have had any clue what to say to him. Hell, she didn't even know what to say to him now. But she was curious as to what had made him hold off.

"It wasn't any of my business." After noticing the look that Emily gave him at that statement - a look that questioned why it was suddenly his business now - Morgan added. "It wasn't any of my business until I realised that there was a hell of a lot more to the situation for you. It's obvious you're hurting and despite the rumours I am actually a good guy. I couldn't continue making jokes and pretending to be oblivious when I knew that you were so upset."

Emily smiled at her friend. The majority of her was overwhelmed with crippling fear, but that was surprisingly eased by the fact that it was Morgan who had figured it out. In fact, that was eased by Morgan as a whole.

"So how long have you known?" He questioned as he took a sip of his own drink.

"Known?" She probably should have known what he meant but her mind was in a million places.

"That there's more there for you than just sex." Morgan clarified.

Turning her gaze back towards towards the window, Emily sat silently for a while before answering. "I don't know. For a while I suppose. Huh.. maybe even from the beginning. I think I just didn't want to admit it." God, she hated how exposed she was.

Sensing his friends discomfort, Morgan reached across and took her fidgeting hands in his as an attempt to calm them. "You need to tell her, princess. This isn't good for either of you."

Emily knew that. She knew that the situation would only get worse, she knew that she couldn't pretend that their 'meetings' meant nothing to her any longer, and she knew that actually, she had known it all along. Turning to face Morgan properly for the first time, she looked up at him like a scared child and asked. "What if she doesn't feel the same? What if I lose her completely? And what about Will, Morgan? You know that she went on a date with him last night, right?"

"That's a chance you have to take, Em. You can't continue this way. I mean, how long did you think could pretend for?" Morgan paused for a moment as he considered her next question. He had had a discussion earlier that morning with Garcia about JJ's date with Will and given what he knew, he hadn't particularly liked what he had heard. The only reason that Garcia had said anything to him was because she was worried about JJ and he felt that he should have been too, but all he could focus on was how much it would kill Emily if she knew. So he opted for a little white lie and hoped that if she ever found out the truth, she would be understanding and forgiving. "As for Will, nothing worth mentioning happened between the two of them. And ya know, if all this goes to shit, you still got me!"

Emily let herself laugh slightly at his attempt to lighten the mood; it certainly didn't hurt either to hear the news regarding Will. And everything else that he'd said.. She'd already known herself, but having it pointed out so blatantly was like a shot of adrenaline to her veins.

With Morgan's words still running freely through her brain as they entered the bull pen a while later, Emily looked instantly to JJ's office before checking her watch and seeing that it was still lunch time; the blonde wouldn't be busy. She took one last glance at Morgan, receiving the reassuring look from him that she had been searching for and walked with determination into the fire.

As she approached, with a slight hesitation, Emily lifted her hand to knock, but was interrupted and startled as the door before her swung open; the sudden motion causing both women to stare at each other with wide eyes.

It was JJ who spoke first, her heart still pounding in her chest - Emily was the last person that she wanted to see today. "Oh. Hey, Em. I was just heading out for some lunch." She spoke as casually as possible, back in some kind of blissfully ignorant mode that actually, wasn't very blissful at all.

"Um.. Do you think we could talk first?" Emily asked, completely unsure of herself but she needed to do this and she needed to do it now.

"Yeah, sure. Come in." The blonde gestured, a feeling of dread washing through her. She's going to tell me she doesn't want this anymore.. She knew that that had been exactly what she had wanted to tell her herself just last night, but that was going to be under her terms. If Emily ended this now simply because she no longer had need for her, she knew that she would never find closure.

As if confirming her thoughts, before JJ had barely closed the door, Emily blurted out. "I don't want this anymore, Jayje."

JJ felt her stomach twist and bile creep up the back of her throat as she stared at the now closed door, but if she had learnt one thing from working with the media and serial killers, it was how to refrain from showing fear. So as she turned, she simply nodded and spoke calmly, as if subconsciously reassuring herself. "Okay. That's okay." Before helplessly blurting out a question that she immediately attempted to justify. "Why? I mean, neither of us wanted it to last forever anyway, but I'm just curious to know."

Emily's confidence faltered drastically at the clear implication in JJ's last sentence, but realistically, did it matter if JJ didn't want forever? Of course it did, but it didn't change the fact that she herself would rather have nothing at all than the constant reminder that forever had never been and never would be a possibility between them. She paced slightly, back and forth, back and forth, before finally willing her feet to stop and staring down at her fidgeting hands as she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down hard.

"I don't want this because.." She let her eyes meet with JJ's for the first time. It had taken every ounce of courage that she had ever possessed to get to this point and would take far more to say these words, but if she was going to get to say them once, she was going to say them with sincerity. She was going to make sure that JJ knew that she meant every single word. "Because you're more than an escape to me, JJ. You're not just a cheap fuck and for that matter, neither am I. And I can't continue to feel that I am when I am so.." She trailed off as her words became flustered, her palms sweating as she clasped them together and dropped her voice to a more calm level. "I can't continue to feel that way when I am so in love with you."