A/n: Surprise surprise! Thank-you for all the lovely reviews! Please forgive any mistakes found and enjoy.
Warnings: Might be some inaccurate medical stuff, mentions of abuse & rape, mentions of child neglect, some Lori, some Shane and some other stuff.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or The Walking Dead.
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"Ed never let me wear nice things like this"
- Carol
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Daryl cursed, his fist clenching and since it wouldn't do to go back to camp with a broken hand and worry Harry anymore than the man probably already was he just dug his nails into his palm until the prickles of pain distracted him enough from his frustration.
Rick was in the opposite direction, combing the area after Daryl had caught up to him, after they discovered they Sophia had left the spot Rick had hidden her in.
Daryl wanted to call her stupid to find her and yell at her for being so childish and impatient but he also knew that she was afraid and had only wanted to find her mother. At least that's what any kid would want to do when placed in a dangerous position.
He hadn't ever been a normal child, his mother was always too high on crack or drunk, sometimes both to even know who he was and when she wasn't his father beat the shit out of her until she was apologising for shit she hadn't even done.
As a child he had wanted to believe that it was his father's fault for how she turned out but as an adult he came to the conclusion that even without his old man beating on her every other day like someone would beat a dusty mat she wouldn't have given a shit about him regardless.
So in a way both her and his father deserved each other. One died from a alcohol poisoning and the next in a house full of flames caused by a cigarette.
Carol wasn't like his mother because Carol despite suffering the same abuse and neglect was actually a loving person who cared so much about her kid seeing them interact sometimes made his chest ache.
Carol always made sure that Sophia ate before she did, tucked her in at night, gave her enough of everything even when she didn't have much and hell - if his mother had done just an eighth of that then maybe he wouldn't have grown to be such a shitty person.
Pushing through bush he hollered again, his throat was beginning to ache and he would need to get out of the river soon or he'd risk something more than a sore throat.
"Sophia!"
He didn't have to come out and search for the kid since she wasn't his but he placed himself in Carol's shoes, of his child, the one in Harry's belly at some point in time had to go missing he would want every able to look for them.
"Sophia! Where are you!"
He hadn't spoken to Carol much but the woman had given him advice on how to take care of Harry, stuff she learned during her pregnancy with Sophia, stuff that she had wished Ed would have done for her but never did like rub her back, massaging her several times a day, elevating her feet and other small stuff.
Harry for all his smart ass remarks and sass was never one to complain even when he was in pain which was a fact that pissed Daryl off to no end and Harry knew it.
Sophia was a sweet kid, quiet and shy on most days unlike Carl's loud and almost cocky attitude but the boy was good for her, the childish side of her coming through whenever he spotted them playing and fuck if he didn't want to preserve that. He didn't have that as a kid, Merle was always chasing some girl, fucking some girl or getting into fights over someone elses girl to spend much time with him, and when he did spend time with him it was always to bully him.
No one wanted to play with the little brother of Merle Dixon.
"Sophia! Sophia!"
The sky was darkening and he hadn't thought to bring along a flashlight nor had Rick, the only thing they both had were gun and bow respectfully.
"Sophia! Can you hear me?!"
No matter how worse off people might have been when he was a kid no parent wanted their child to play with the son of the local druggie and whore.
No father would allow their daughter to play with the kid whose father knocked his mother around and sold her to other men for a couple of dollars and a bit of coke.
"Sophia!"
The world was gone to shit but people like Carol and Sophia deserved better than this shit.
"Daryl! We have to go back!" he couldn't see Rick but the man was close by.
"Sophia!"
The sun was setting now, the woods darkening bit by bit and the chill of night creeping in. He couldn't leave the kid out there by herself, not like this.
"Sophia!"
Rick grabbed his arm and he yanked it away. "Daryl we have to go. I know you don't want to leave - I don't want to leave her either but we can't risk it."
Daryl scanned the area he could still see, looking for any movement in the woods but soon enough that area was covered with the shadows as well.
"Come on Daryl."
Rick laid his hand on his sweaty arm again and he allowed himself to steered back in the direction that was the small slope they had ran down to follow after Sophia.
"Fuck!"
Stomping back to where the vehicles were parked he stormed right past the inquiring gazes of the rest of the group and over to the water tanker to wash off the grime and woods from him before he went to see Harry, the cold water also helped to calm him somewhat.
He shouldn't be taking this so personal but he was and they still had yet to find any food. The woods had been silent save for a few bird cawing overhead but no squirrels or fish were in the water for him to try and catch.
This was a bigger shitfest than he had anticipated it was. Before it was bad but this… this wasn't good. He didn't really care about himself that much, sure his self-worth had risen since meeting Harry as well as his self-esteem that had been trampled during his early childhood but he still didn't necessarily care much still.
The notion of 'no food' wasn't foreign to him, nor Merle and definitely not for Harry but now there was another life to factor in, one that depended on Harry eating so that it could survive, and now that concept of 'no food' was like a glaring red alarm that wouldn't shut up in his head.
Merle knew it too, his brother having pulled him aside earlier that day during dawn to tell him that the surrounding areas were bare of any wild life - either migrated or dead, so they had to rely on whatever they could find in the abandoned cars which wasn't much to begin with.
His older brother despite for all his bravado and classic 'neanderthal behavior' as Harry often said, cared about his brother-in-law even if he was hardpressed to deny it to the end and Daryl appreciated that a lot, that in the event something happened to him then Merle would step up for his kid where he fell a bit short with Daryl.
Letting the water soak him to the bone until he was shivering Daryl turned the tank off, stripping of his shirt and wringing it out. Walking past Rick and the small group, Carol crying in Lori's arms he pulled open the door to the RV and closed it behind him.
Looking around he stared at the dried blood that was on a spot in the once cream carpet and his ears rang - why didn't anyone tell him something happened what if -
"Harry!?"
"Shhh, not so loud Daryl, he's here."
He followed Jacqui's voice to the small area where the man bed was, the dark skinned woman whom his husband had practically adopted as an older sister and mother figure, was gently massaging his stomach and back while Harry's face was pressed into the pillow and from where he stood dripping water on the floor he could hear the small whimpers of pain.
"Harry?"
His husband didn't even look up, just waved a hand in the direction he thought Daryl was in "'M fine 'omise."
Jacqui tsked "He's been having abdominal pain, said it's been happening for maybe half a day now. I've never had any babies of my own but Harry said this normally happens when the uterus is expanding or maybe even Braxton Hicks."
Everything that left Jacqui's mouth sounded foreign and frightening. Uterus expanding? Braxton Hicks? Was that a medical complication or something?
"Explain to 'im 'fore he implodes 'Qui." Harry murmured from where his face was hidden.
Jacqui looked at Daryl for the first time since he entered the space and immediately she frowned looking at his wet shirt in hand and the rest of his general soaked appearance. Silently pointing to the overhead compartment where the towels were he grabbed one and searched through a duffle bag, taking out fresh clothes.
Changing right in front of her she rolled her eyes and looked away as if Daryl cared. Modesty was for the civil afterall.
Drying his hair she looked at him again with less judgement now that he was dry "I don't think it's Braxton Hicks which is pseudo contractions that normally last a few seconds, he'll get those later he said, but maybe definitely hormonal changes that's causing the pain. Maybe even stress. Whatever it is, you can see the effect."
Daryl heard the 'you should have been here' loud and clear and he couldn't agree more when Harry shifted a bit and groaned, the sound he made reminiscent of when a younger Harry had broken two fingers during a fall.
"Your hubby is here now suga, I'm going to be right outside if you need me okay?" Jacqui pressed a kiss to Harry's head and the younger man squeezed her hand as she climbed off the bed.
"Thank you Jac'"
"Anytime Rose"
Harry giggled a bit and Jacqui brushed his hair, tucking it behind his ear before leaving them alone. Daryl remained standing until Harry looked up, green eyes a bit wet and his nose red; he'd definitely been crying and Daryl clenched his fists.
He'd been looking for someone else's kid when his world was in pain and he didn't even know it. What kind of man was he to leave his husband in pain like that for hours?
'You my blood boy. Dirty, nasty and never gonna be good enof' for nobody'
His father's voice rang in his head, gravely and as rough as it had been during his years alive and Daryl was afraid that if he breathed in too deeply he'd smell the moonshine and tobacco.
"Don't do that"
His blue eyes looked down at Harry who motioned for him to climb in under the covers with him. Hesitating for a few seconds he moved forward, climbing over Harry to go on the left side so he left the right opened for when Harry would inevitably get up to take a piss.
He wanted to be angry at him, to be pissed off at the fact that Harry was keeping secrets from him that might come back and bite him in the ass but he couldn't summon the energy to, not when he hadn't been there to see said secrets and signs like he normally could.
Wrapping a hand around Harry's waist he pressed his face into the slightly tanned neck with one hand rubbing the spot Jacqui had been earlier, breathing in his scent until he felt a bit light headed he pressed a kiss to Harry's neck.
"I'm sorry" because as upset as he was that Harry hadn't told him he was experiencing discomfort he was also even more pissed off at himself for running off and leaving him.
Harry hummed "I dunno why you're apologising Daryl Dixon but I'd appreciate it if you don't compare yourself to your father"
Because of course he knew.
Harry squeezed his hand and Daryl looked down at it before bringing the smaller appendage closer and pressing a kiss to it as well, making Harry snort. "You're such a sap when we're alone, I bet no one would be afraid of you if they knew you did stuff like this all the time"
Daryl grunted. He could care less what people thought about him - even Merle's opinion didn't really matter most of the time. All that mattered was Harry and maybe he was monopolizing him but he earned the right to since no one knew either of them better than they did. After helping Harry turn over to his other side when he complained about going numb he took his time in observing Harry's face now that he was close up; his eyes were redder than he had thought and there were defined tear tracks on his cheeks.
"If you feel any more pain, I don't care where you tell me, it's not up for debate" and if he was a lesser man he would have been irked when Harry simply gave him a smile.
Closing his eyes Daryl laid down on his arm, his pillow he took and placed under Harry to give him a bit of support, his other hand on Harry's belly who was petting his hair, where he could feel what he assumed was a fist gently nudge his palm. The repetitive movement didn't seem to bring Harry any pain and soon enough he couldn't stop the smile that fought its way onto his face. This little life that he created with Harry, that he had yet to meet was already so strong and Harry continuously said that was because Daryl was it's parent but he disagreed.
Harry was so much stronger than he was, than he would ever be. Bright, brilliant Harry who had the world of options but chose socially retarded, stupid redneck him.
Their baby was going to be equally smart and stupid it seemed.
"We can't find Sophia" he blurted out and Harry continued to run his fingers through his short hair.
"Rick and I searched everywhere but we can't find her. She's out there alone with those fucks on all sides. How can she sur- she's not us, she's not gonna be alright even if we find her"
Sophia for all her shyness and quick wit wasn't equipped to handle shit like this. Despite having an abusive fuck for a father her mother sheltered her from the worst of it, from the worst of life and now she was out there alone with more to worry about that a man putting his hands on her.
"You're gonna try again tomorrow"
It wasn't a question but he murmured a short reply and Harry smiled. "She's lucky then. She's got one of the most stubborn and one of the most patient men I've ever met looking for her."
Daryl already knew which one of those men he was referenced as so he only gave Harry a bemused look.
"But Daryl" he raised an eyebrow at the sudden shift in tone. "I know we're all going to hope for the best but… if this turns out to be like Amy you have to remember what you told me yea?"
He nodded and pulled Harry as close as he could with their kid between them. He knew he couldn't save everyone but that was because he didn't want to. But this kid - Sophia, he wanted to save her like he wished someone had saved him before he met Harry.
"I know"
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DH
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He contemplated leaving, of just packing up what little shit he owned, throwing it in his truck and riding off before anyone could stop him and the temptation was growing by the minute. Maybe the cause of him wanting to leave was the same but it was for an entirely different reason he was considering driving in the opposite direction and forgetting everything that happened so far.
He had been comfortable if not a little bit wary in his relationship with Lori, had even enjoyed the feeling of having her in his arms and of secretly calling Carl 'son'. Hadn't even cared much when Rick appeared again because Lori still came back to him, but since that night back in the CDC when Harry had witnessed what had happened with Lori and had talked to him as if Shane hadn't been threatening him and insulting him since he stepped foot into the quarry camp.
Shane had replayed that conversation over and over and over in his head like an old broken record, the meaning and logic of it all only becoming more and more apparent every day that passed.
It rattled him.
He knew he needed to talk to Rick, to explain things, because if what drunken Rick said was true then his friend… his former friend knew just what he and his wife were doing behind his back, and while it had been fun fucking around with her - had been fun loving her while Rick was oblivious to it all, now faced with the reality that Rick knew and was only turning a blind eye to it made him feel like shit.
Worse than shit if he was being so honest with himself.
Rick had always been the one who had motivated him to do better even when he had given up the fight. He had been there when he was an awkward teen with the social skills of a skittish rabbit and the daddy issues fit for a stereotypical hooker.
Rick had been the only person to stick by him throughout all the years and now that the high of infidelity had ended the shame of what he was doing to Rick had settled in, was gnawing at him from the inside until he couldn't stand to be near Rick for too long - much less Lori.
Little Carl hadn't done him a thing and despite loving the boy who he had watched grow from a tiny baby to a near teenager as if he was his own, the reality was that he wasn't.
Staring off at the darkness that laid behind them, the way they came having being swallowed up by the stark midnight he drowned out the rest of the group who were talking back where the RV's were parked, his own truck a little over twenty feet away.
Harry for all Shane had been convinced he was a minion of satan and was carrying the spawn of the devil was a good decent man. He had realized that the man had known about him and Lori and he bet if he had asked then he would be told exactly just how long and that frightened him a bit. Made him wonder just how long Rick had noticed his wife sneaking off to rut with his supposed best friend - even though he didn't deserve that title any longer, even less than Lori deserved to be his wife.
Harry had made it clear that all he had to do was tell Rick what happened. To explain to the man who probably hated his guts why it was that he woke up in a hospital bed in an abandoned hospital alone and had to be taken care of by a stranger. Harry was sure that Rick wouldn't try to shoot him or hit him but Shane disagreed. He wanted Rick to lash out because then he would be able to handle the situation; would be able to handle the anger and return it with his own because he knew how to handle an angry person just not an angry Rick whose anger was directed at him.
But he'd learn because it was what he deserved.
Jumping when a pair of arms wrapped around his body Shane moved away from the warm body of Lori, the woman partially hidden in the dim light that shone from the impromptu campfire they had constructed in the middle of lane three of the highway.
"Lori what are doing?" he hissed, looking over her shoulder to see if anyone was coming around the bend of traffic he had isolated himself to.
Lori stepped forward again, hair done up in a ponytail and clothes fresh, her brown eyes that he had fallen for stared up at him with confusion and a bit of anger.
"What do you think I'm doing? I'm doing what we've been doing since the start" reaching out to him she grabbed him by the front of his shirt, yanking him closer so they were hip to hip and Shane stepped away.
"I made it clear last time I was finished with this Lori-"
"You asked me to choose between you and Rick and you know I can't do that. Carl needs both his parents not just one. You can't ask me to do that to my baby. I need Rick and he needs me just as you need me"
She stepped forward again and Shane stared at the woman he had found so enthralling and addictive.
"I don't need you Lori. I wanted you but I don't need you" his heart was hammering in his chest for some reason and when she touched his cheek he flinched a bit, her lips curling.
"You need me Shane, you've needed me since the beginning but you were just too scared to admit it. Rick being here changes nothing"
Her hand reached for his belt, managing to undo the notch and tug it loose before he stepped back. This was wrong, and it wasn't as if he was now growing a conscious because he had known it was wrong all those months ago but the vast difference was that Rick hadn't been there.
Rick had been dead back then.
Rick hadn't spoken while drunk and looked utterly heartbroken when he revealed that he knew his best friend and wife were going at it like rabbits before, but he did just not long ago. Lori hadn't seen his face that night but he had. He had seen the damage he had helped to inflict upon his best friend, on the person that never gave up on him despite him having so many bad qualities.
He had helped to break a part of Rick and Shane wouldn't even fight back if the man came to shoot him now.
Lori pulled a face and reached for him again, hand curling into his t-shirt and pushing him down and he went willingly because even though his mind was objecting his body was moving to her will like a monkey trained to dance.
Climbing on top of him Lori smiled, her slender hand stroking his face while the other gently kneaded his crotch that was steadily becoming hard.
"You need me Shane. There're no more laws to say what we're doing is wrong and as long as I am the mother of his child Rick will love me with everything he has. You know this. You know that's the kind of man he is so I don't understand why you're worrying so much."
She kissed him, soft and sensual.
"You won't break up my marriage Shane, you can't. And right now I need you just like you need me."
He hissed when his dick was grasped and stroked "See? Only I can make you feel like this. Don't you still love me?"
His voice froze in his throat and the words he would've spoken back eagerly just a few short weeks ago without hesitation never came and after a couple heart beats Lori noticed it too.
"Don't you love me Shane? Don't you love how I make you feel hm?"
It felt as if he was being tugged in two different directions but regardless of what his mind was saying and his body saying the next at least both sides agreed on one thing.
It was like a lightning bolt of clarity that struck him as he stared at the slim woman who was stroking his cock that suddenly wasn't so hard anymore. There might still have been lust coursing through his body but the concept of loving her, of needing her more than life had been dampened.
It was like water been thrown on a roaring fire and while there was definite lust simply because she was a warm body with a wet hole there wasn't any love.
Not anymore.
"I don't."
Lori's hand paused from trying to get him back to full mass, her brown eyes looking up into his, confusion clear on his face even in the dim light.
"Excuse me?"
Shane's heart was still thundering in his ears and he wondered if that was a sign it was about to give out on him. Grabbing her wrist he removed her hand from his junk, from the dick that had plowed her for months and just shy of three weeks ago before they reached the CDC. Pushing her back he stood up, tucking himself back in and fixing his pants as Lori stared up at him, mild shock on her features.
"I don't love you."
She shot to her feet and he stepped back just in case she lashed out again. Scratches were no bullet wound but they still stung like a bitch. Shane watched as her face morphed into anger, her skin turning red and then like a switch had flipped Lori calmed down.
Straightening out her clothing she tightened her ponytail and simply stared at him.
"I don't believe you."
"Then that's your problem not mine but I said my piece, all you gotta do Lori is accept it."
"I don't believe you."
"You better believe it because nothing like this is gon-"
"You said you'd take care of me. That day when everything went wrong you said you'd take care of me and Carl. Are you going to break that promise Shane?"
Shane narrowed his eyes at her, arms crossing over his chest "You have your husband to do that now, you don't need me Lori. We can't keep doing this to Rick."
Lori took half a step forward and Shane refused to budge when she advanced.
"You came to me and told me my husband was dead. That you saw his dead body. You told my little boy that his daddy was dead and then you fucked me. You said you'd take care of us both in his place and now you want to back out? Why? Because you suddenly grew a conscious after filling me up so many times? After you screwed me for the first time when Carl was just a few feet away? You think you can back out now because you feel sorry for Rick? What about me!"
The truth hurt but he also needed to hear it. They both did.
"You have your husband back. Carl is safe and healthy, what more do you want Lori? How can you expect me to keep doing this when your husband, my best friend is right there close enough to hear, close enough to know? It was one thing in the woods but he's right there Lori! If we keep doing this he'll find out eventually and then what huh? What're you gonna say to him huh? That you were distressed about the missing kid that you had to fuck but not with him?"
No matter that Rick already knew.
He lowered his voice so no one would hear the heated conversation. "We may not live in a country where law abides but for fucks sake Lori Rick is alive, he's here so go and be his wife instead of a whore!"
Lori stepped back as if she had been slapped and Shane was two seconds away from apologising before he bit his tongue.
"You made me this way Shane. When you climbed on top of me and fingered me I was your best friend's wife back then too. When you pushed into me and took me I was still married to Rick. All those other times that you came inside of me because you wanted a baby of your own I was still married to him but you fucked me nonetheless. You made me like this now you want to preach? You think this is sunday church that you can tell me about all my sins?"
Lori chuckled "You think you're in a place to judge? You lied about his death, fucked me, tried to steal his son and now you're what? A saint because you feel sorry? Are you going to ride off in the sunset to atone for your sins and hope that Rick forgives you for screwing his wife?"
She snorted, the rage on her face smoothing out once more as she stepped closer to him, her hand coming up to rest on his chest directly over his thumping heart, a smirk playing on her lips.
"I may be a whore but you're twice as bad. You were supposed to protect us from everything bad and evil. You were supposed to be Carl's uncle and instead what did you do; lied to him and told him his daddy was dead while shoving your cock in his mommy. You betrayed Rick because you needed me, you betrayed two decades of friendship because I was your lifeline, am your lifeline."
Shane remained silent, letting her tug him downwards so she could reach his lips.
"We are not over. You owe me for corrupting me, for lying to my son… for touching me when you shouldn't have. You owe me Shane."
She pressed a kiss to his lips and he let her "I decide when we're over and if you think otherwise I'll scream rape so hard you'll wish you disobeyed your daddy all those years ago"
He moved away from her touch, his breath suddenly ragged and his chest constricted almost painfully as she smirked at him. "Shut up."
"Why should I? Your daddy was right all along but if only you admitted to it we wouldn't be in this position now would we. If only you admitted that you were a-"
Shane grabbed his arms, squeezing them and Lori smiled. He knew he looked desperate and he could feel all of the resolve he built up come crumbling down as Lori cradled his face between his hands.
"See? I told you that you needed me Shane, because the moment you decide that you don't again I won't even have to scream rape. I'll just tell Rick your secret and you won't even have to worry about betraying him anymore."
Shane stood there long after Lori had left, the feeling of her hands still on his body and her words were echoing in his head as if they were on shuffle.
When the rain came crashing down he didn't move either, the cold drops chilling him to the bone but also clearing his head a bit. There was no 'out' because Lori would win either way. He hadn't seduced her as he had been led to believe, she was the one doing all the work and he had ignorantly followed.
If only his mother could see him now, she would be ashamed to call him hers.
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DH
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Carol couldn't really remember how she got from outside to the inside of one of the RV's but when she blinked the floral pattern of the wall paper caught her attention and she stared at it for a long time. It reminded her of the one that was in her kitchen, one of the only things Ed had allowed her to pick because the kitchen was her domain and the happier she was with it then the faster she'd cook his meals.
Standing from the bed she shuffled over to the slightly faded paper. Pink blossoms shooting from green vines and purples flowers every fifth blossom, the splash of colour on a white background.
Running her hand over the paper she smiled, the memory of Sophia who had been so tiny back then, barely two years old and already so eager to help had clung on her leg, tugging the skirt she had worn and demanded to be lifted. Her baby was already the center of her back then, had been since she was placed into her in the hospital. Everything about her little girl back then had made her heart swell with so much love any notions of hatred for her because of who her father was wasn't even considered.
From her eyes, to her lips, nose and hair. Her tiny little feet and fingers that had held onto her finger that first day of life would always be with her, had replayed over several times a day when Ed had been raging over something at work and decided to take it out on her. Tender memories that her little girl created without effort, moments that kept her going through all those years.
Turning away from the wall paper a faint glimmer of light caught her eye and Carol stared at the wall carving of the crucified Jesus, the brown paint making the small decoration blend in nearly to the point that she hardly noticed it was there.
Carol wouldn't say that she was a highly devoted christian but she did pray and tried not to break any commandments. Church was always attended with the only exception was when the bruises were too much to cover with the minimal makeup she was allowed for situations like that.
Other than that she was attend church every sunday and the store once a week. Back before the world turned upside down she had no friends, lost contact with her family shortly after marrying Ed and wasn't allowed to socialize beyond the market and church simply because if she tried to then Ed would beat her to bloody pulp.
She wasn't ashamed to admit that her husband had frightened her to her core. Had made her want to cry by simply being in the same room as her. Her was controlling, domineering and abusive simply because he knew she wouldn't fight back - that she couldn't and a part of her didn't want to fight back because that part of her remembered how Ed had been when they first starting dating.
He had been sweet and thoughtful, always opening doors for her and buying her pretty things, taking her out on dates in his pickup truck and showing her off to all of his friends. Her father had been thrilled that she had found herself a stand up man, someone who would provide for her especially when her older sister had failed to do so and had gotten pregnant twice without a ring on her finger and a steady man at her side.
Carol had believed that she had made it, had become the woman her mother would have been proud of and that day when her father walked her down the aisle she felt such great freedom at having accomplished something that many women never got the chance to. Her honeymoon had been marvelous. He had taken such good care of her, treated her as if she was made of glass and the ecstasy she had felt that week would never compare to anything else she felt during entire her marriage to him.
Three months after she was still riding on the blissful cloud of being Mrs. Carol Peletier was when Ed first hit her. It hadn't hurt as much as it shocked her and he apologised so earnestly that she had forgiven him instantly because her Ed wasn't the type to beat women, it had just been a bit of anger and it had been her fault after all since she knew just how he liked his lasagna.
The second time it happened there were no apologies from him and when he was finished he had stormed out, truck tires squealing as he pulled out of the driveway. She had stared at her battered face that night, right side swollen already and her lip busted.
But she didn't blame him because he was stressed from losing his job and she had only made it worse by asking questions.
So she had forgiven him because it had been her fault.
The beatings always ranged between horrible and bad, sometimes she couldn't move for hours without throwing up and other times she could get up after a few minutes but she always endured because it wasn't like she had anyone to talk to. Her siblings hated her and her parents thought she was happy and she couldn't shatter that illusion so selfishly.
Sex since he began to hit her was always rough and quick, sometimes she would be so turned off the sensation of him entering her burned and kept burning for days, she even believed that her body was broken when he told her because she wasn't 'getting wet enough', a fact that he told his drinking buddies that came every Wednesday, Saturday and Sundays and she had stood there with her face burning as they laughed, alcohol influence already strong with beer and whiskey in their systems.
Zeb Wilson, Jimmy Don Trace and Cooter Hayes.
Three names she would never forget even if she forgot her own.
Cooter had asked Ed if he could see and her husband in a drunken state agreed. Had sat and watched as his friends stripped her naked and raped her, had kept on touching her even when he had passed out and only woke up in the afternoon.
They came Wednesday night again and no one mentioned the incident, Carol had served them drinks and food like normal because out of the four men only Jimmy Don seemed to remember, his eyes lingering on her body when Ed wasn't looking but she saw and felt his stare that caught hers every now and then until he left to go back home to his wife and children.
She had prayed everyday for it to get better, for Ed to love her like he did back when they were a bit younger and he was still the man she had fallen for. She prayed until her prayers were answered a year later and she was blessed with Sophia who was only a tiny being inside of her and for those nine months Ed didn't lay a hand on her, she thought that this was maybe what he had wanted all the time a child of his own to show off.
He had gone on and on about how he wanted a little rascal a boy to teach how to fix cars with so she prayed again and again that the baby inside of her would be a boy.
That day in the hospital when the nurse announced that she had a beautiful baby girl her heart soared even when Ed's face fell and his hand tightened around her shoulder. Two days after she was released from the hospital he backhanded her - accused her of lying to him about the baby being a boy even when she hadn't known the gender until two days ago.
She had tried her best to shield her baby from any of his fits of anger, always shooed her outside to play or lock her in her bedroom when Ed was in a particularly frightful rage that she knew would only end with someone being beaten unconscious but she didn't mind.
Didn't care as long as Sophia was with her. Carol had loved seeing her beautiful baby girl grow from such a tiny human to a toddler, then into an adolescent and while Carol wasn't allowed anything pretty that would show off her figure or flatter her in anyway she always pleaded to Ed when he was in a more docile mood to buy Sophia something nice.
She had asked until she saw his gaze lingering on Sophia childish body, his tongue coming out to wet his lips. How he would squeeze her close to his body and press lingering kisses to her neck under the pretense of being silly and his hand would cup her bottom when he lifted her from the ground and made her wrap her legs around his body because he wanted to see 'how big his little girl had gotten'.
Carol had seen his hungry gaze and her blood had ran cold because she knew what that meant, so she had done the only thing she knew how to besides cook and house work.
She prayed and her prayers were answered in the form of her neighbor mauling her husband.
Blinking Carol reached out to touch the smooth carving of Jesus, plucking it from the wall and gently resting it on the bed she had woken up on. Praying always worked because God had delivered her through hell then back and she was still standing so he had to, he had to bring her baby back into her arms.
Kneeling she stared at the small figure of Jesus who was nailed on the cross.
"Father please forgive me. I know that I don't deserve your mercy for all of the things I have wished for but you delivered us from Atlanta when I asked for safe passage. I prayed for Ed to be punished for laying his hands on me and for looking at his own daughter with whatever sickness that was growing within his soul."
Carol bowed her head and squeezed her eyes shut.
"I prayed that you'd put a stop to it, to give me a chance to raise her right so that she wouldn't make the same mistakes that I did. God she's so fearful, so young and hasn't had the chance to live yet. I know that praying for Ed's death was a sin, I know that I have evil in my heart for wishing for his demise but Lord please don't let this be my punishment, please don't let my baby bare my crosses for my sins."
She often heard Jacqui saying that this was humanity's punishment from God for all the evil that humans did to one another and the earth and she agreed. From the wars, genocides, massacres, hate crimes on denominations of colour and sex - she truly believed that God was punishing them but -
"Please let her be safe. Alive and safe. Please Lord I beg you. Let my Sophia be safe. Punish me for my sins however you desire but please protect my baby. Please show mercy on her Lord, show her the mercy you wished your child was shown."
Come morning she would look for her baby but until dawn came she would keep praying. God delivered her from Ed and he would deliver her baby back to her. He had to.
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Rick stared at his wife as she came back to the group, a blanket in hand that she draped around Carl's shoulders before sitting down next to him with her finger interlacing with his own and her head resting on his shoulder.
Later that night when the fire died down a bit and Merle along with Shane took guard on top of the RV so that everyone else could have a night's rest he stared up at her when she climbed on top of him as naked as she was brought into the world.
Lori slowly undressed him, taking her time to strip him of his shirt and vest, then his pants and underwear. Unlaced his shoes and pulled off his socks then took him into her mouth. He kept silent as she rode him, his fingers gripping her waist and his blue eyes watching as he breast bounced.
He hadn't had sex in a car since he was maybe ten years younger and didn't have a son yet.
Sex with Lori wasn't at breathtaking as it once had been, the thrill of possession he felt of having such a beautiful woman as his wife and mother of his child faded with the knowledge of the affair. Now sex with her just seemed like a chore that left him feeling dirty all around.
He didn't want to think of how many times Shane had been inside of his wife, of how many times Lori had let him do things to her that only he should be allowed to do.
Rick had tried, God himself knows that Rick had tried to see it from their perspective. Had tried to imagine just why the two people he trusted the most besides Harry would seek to cut him so deep but he couldn't reason with logic.
He had woken up in a hospital bed, in pain and confused and surrounded by ghosts and ghouls with only a stranger to keep him alive while his wife, best friend and child were somewhere else playing happy family.
He had suffered through days of agony wondering if his son and small family had been killed, if they were now like the poor souls he had seen stumbling about as Harry helped him down the stairs and outside to where the bodies were laid out in sheets.
He had cried because he thought he had lost everyone he cared about without knowing because he had been asleep.
He tuned back in, blinking as Lori kissed him, her walls squeezing around him as she moaned his name when he knew she was just fine moaning Shane's instead.
He wasn't wearing a condom but the orgasm surprised him and he came before he could pull out, Lori shuddering and praising him when she climbed off, her mouth cleaning him of both their fluids.
Carl was asleep in the RV, taking the pull out bed while Daryl and Harry slept in the other bed and at this point he felt safer leaving his son with the stranger who nursed him back to health and helped him find his family rather than he did with Lori.
"Rick? Are you okay sweetheart?" his blue eyes flickered down and he gave her a small smile.
"Just thinkin'."
Lori snuggled up to him and he wrapped an arm around her naked waist. "About what hm? Want to talk about it?"
Rick looked out the back window and from the angle he lying in he could see Shane's lower body perfectly enough and he hadn't even realized they were that close to the two awake men. Turning his gaze back to Lori's brown eyes he shook his head.
"Just thinking about Sophia and how we'll have to find her before he need to keep moving"
Lori shook her head "We can't leave until we find her, she has to be around the area and even of we don't find her she'll find us"
Lot's of things irritated Lori - from their old neighbors who always gossiped about the fact that Rick worked late hours and left her alone with Carl to the football team both he and Shane favoured but the one thing he knew she hated with a passion was Harry.
"Our rations are running low and within a day we're going to be out and Harry needs proper food, the scraps that he's eating aren't enough"
He wasn't even surprised when her face did something complicated and he relaxed expression turned into a glare.
"Carl is doing just fine and he's a little boy so Harry can wait until we find Sophia. Think about Carol and how she'll feel if we leave her child out in those woods alone!"
Rick frowned "Carl is barely hanging onto what we give him and right now the entire group needs proper meals not just a stale granola bar and water. Harry needs it more than we do at this point. Do you think I want to leave without finding Sophia? That little girl is one of ours, she's a part of this group and under my protection Lori but you can't expect me to let Harry and the others suffer just so we can find her."
"But you can't leave her out there Rick!"
"I'm not!" he didn't mean to raise his voice, Lori flinched back and making him rub his eyes before he took a deep breath.
Recently he had very little patience for her and it was beginning to show. "I'm not Lori. We won't stop looking but how are we supposed to search for her if we're starving? These woods don't have any animals and my gut is saying that she moved onwards, that she followed the river the same way we were following the highway. We're bound to find her eventually."
"And what if you're wrong. What if we leave this spot to find food and she comes back. What then?"
Rick laid back, his eyes looking out the back window where the fire was illuminating the area and he could see Shane's hand toying with his boots.
"We'll find her." he said firmly "Sophia may be young but she's smarter than some."
When he gave the order to move out a day later he ignored Lori's glare and Carol's pleads. If Sophia was still alive then the girl wasn't in the surrounding area. The walker they gutted proved it wasn't her inside its belly and they found no evidence that the little girl was still around. He didn't want to leave just yet but he had more than one person to think about within the group.
They would find Sophia, just not there.
"Move out!"
The jeep came to life and he watched as Dale carried the RV forward, Daryl on his bike moving on up ahead with Merle driving his truck. To his knowledge Jacqui was with Harry and Carl was with Lori in the other RV where Carol was.
Rubbing his eyes he looked up in time to meet Shane's eyes, the man's widening a bit before he nodded slightly and looked away, his jeep pushing him ahead of Rick who moved off afterwards. Looking in the rearview mirror he checked for any sign of someone moving until he was too far away and focused on the road ahead instead.
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DH
A/n: Annnd chapter 10 is finished. Thank you all those who faved and followed and most importantly reviewed. Reviews are like the fuel to my engine. Nothing more to add so until next chapter~!