Happy Halloween!
A/N: Because of RL taking the turn it has, I no longer have the free time I used to have. I won't stop writing this fic or taking requests, but there are changes concerning PMs I'll post on my profile.
Thank you so much for your patience! I'm completely disgusted by how long it's taken me to update and I'm surprised any readers are still hanging around. You all deserve a round of applause.
Two requests this time! jeanette9a's request was Gullinkambi (he's listed in the Mythology Index for anyone unfamiliar) interacting with a certain Avenger and skydancer2ooo seemed to psychically know I was writing this and requested Christmas with the Avengers, actually, and asked for Loki sending them a Christmas card. I had way too much fun writing the both of those requests! Note: for the sake of spoilers, I may move these to the bottom A/N next time.
Now that Tony stopped to think about, Christmas celebrations probably weren't the best idea. Maybe Clint and Natasha and Bruce had the right idea by running off on their own for the holiday. He slumped in his seat and surveyed the room in front of him, wondering just how badly a fake silver tree would shock Cap. The thought failed to bring back any levity, and he swallowed the last of the liquor left in his glass and hauled himself out of the chair to grab the bottle.
Christmas never held good memories with him, and Tony knew he wasn't the only one. Pepper didn't like Christmas much, but he thought that might have to do with the fact that she never went home for the holiday or got any cards or presents even though he knew her mom was still alive. Who knew what Steve's problem with Christmas was, but the sulk hadn't left Captain America's face in a week now.
Thor would be alright, oblivious as he was to all "Midgardian Feasting Days", if not for someone letting him near the TV Christmas specials. Now Thor was as mopey as everyone else, thinking of his stupid villain brother. Damn, but Tony hated Loki in that moment. Even if everyone (down to Jane and Darcy, even) hated Christmas, at the very least it would have been a happy time for Thor. Realizing people typically spent Christmas with their families and being so far from Asgard and so estranged from Loki sent Thor into a depression.
Loki was on all their minds recently, but especially Thor's. It started with the strange behaviour and escalated as Loki not only started treating the Avengers like that once-a-week appointment but started fighting off alien invasions alongside them. No one had any idea what that meant, and Thor was taking that hard. He felt like he should know Loki better after their who-knows how long childhood together, but Tony knew it didn't work like that; people changed and there wasn't anything you could do to stop it.
Sometimes people stayed the same, too. Tony gave the bottle in his hand a leering grin. Never let it be said that Tony Stark wasn't an alcoholic, even if the degree of his addiction fluctuated throughout the years. He always ended up drunk on Christmas, though, and usually hungover to boot. The thought of Pepper had him ruefully setting the bottle down. He could stick to slightly hungover this year, as long as he remembered to serve scotch with breakfast.
He gave the room a final survey before heading to bed. It was perfectly decorated, thanks to Pepper and Steve, with red and green and gold everywhere there was room to hang or hold decorations. The tree would've been perfectly matched too, if not for Darcy insisting on hanging a bunch of Avengers themed ornaments and topping it with a light-up star Jane had on every tree since she was a little girl. To appease Thor, anything that could feasibly have lights wound around it hosted blinking white lights (Tony vaguely remembered his mother calling them fairy lights) that so fascinated Thor. For Tony's part, he'd found the largest singing Santa he could and practically thrown tinsel at the bar. It wasn't really perfectly decorated after all - more mixy-matchy, with only the parts Pepper and Steve worked on looking very nice, and there were black streaks of oil on the presents Tony only recently added to the pile, and Darcy's wrapping paper of choice was apparently newspaper comics - but it definitely had spirit. Maybe that would somehow transfer to everyone overnight.
He did not dream about the Grinch wearing a black leather trenchcoat and an eyepatch stealing his singing Santa, thank you very much. Just like he didn't glance over at it to make sure it was still there when he finally stumbled out of bed and into the common area.
"Well, I feel underdressed," said Tony. He looked up at Thor and squinted.
Thor squinted back. "Is this not one of Midgard's finest Feast Days? I am appropriately dressed for celebration, Man of Iron." He gestured toward his armor, embroidered cape, and ridiculous winged helmet. "Ceremonial armor is appropriate for a day of celebration, is it not?"
"Buddy, this is my tower, so my rules. You can wear whatever you want."
"Don't tell him that, he'll wander around in a towel all day," said Jane.
Darcy uncurled herself from her typical little ball and grinned. "You'd get no complaints from me."
"Or me," Tony said. Darcy laughed and high-fived them, while Jane rolled her eyes and pretended she wasn't smiling.
"Sit down, Tony, and behave yourself. Steve's been working on breakfast since seven," chided Pepper, taking a seat across from him. She looked as impeccable as she ever did, despite the fact that everyone else was still in pajamas and slippers. (Well, except for Thor.)
"Seven? It's ten thirty. What is he making?" asked Jane.
"I was not aware Steve was awake," Thor said solemnly, "I have failed the 'Good Morning' ritual we share. Lady Jane, I must make amends, but I shall soon return to share this day of celebration with you." He left with his cape unfurling and billowing out in a way that filled Tony with envy. He wondered just how badly a cape would mess up flight maneuverability on the suit.
Jane giggled. Darcy grinned, relaxing a little from the ball she was curled into. "Thor still thinks breakfast in bed is an everyday 'ritual' among lovers. You're welcome."
"Darcy, I wake up to strawberry Pop-tarts. He's convinced they're on par with... ambrosia, or something. At least that's adorable. Trying to convince him that you aren't actually eligible for Avengers membership because of your taser was not."
"Did you just say he wanted Darcy to join the Avengers?" Tony exclaimed loudly.
"Yep, until I broke it to him he could buy the whole team tasers. The idea that tons of people run around shooting electricity from weapons that aren't as special as Mew-Mew kind of insulted him," Darcy volunteered. She managed to keep from laughing until Tony cracked up; no wonder Thor scowled whenever reports of another electricity-powered supervillain came in.
"Why? He has no problems with the weapons the others use," Pepper asked.
Jane rolled her eyes again. "Yes! See! It's just the fact that electricity is so commonplace here. I guess on Asgard they just have Thor and random thunderstorms. The competition bothers him."
Tony glanced back to Darcy. She was much more relaxed, almost sitting normal instead of curled up in a ball of warmth, and, just as he thought, smiling smugly. She noticed his look and the smile grew. "Did you hear that, Iron Man? You're an ally, and equal... but I'm competition."
"Oh, please," groaned Pepper, pressing the heel of her palm to her forehead. "Do not trigger his competitive spirit. I'd actually like to eat Steve's delicious breakfast in peace."
"Well then you're in luck, ma'am," said Steve, appearing out of nowhere. Tony scowled at him. A man that big should not be able to creep around like a cat or a ninja or Natasha or something. "Breakfast is done and as it turns out, I don't allow any kind of nonsense at the dining table."
"We'll just have to make sure we make sense then as we compete for the spot of Thor's archnemesis then, won't we?" asked Darcy, lightly digging her elbow in his side as she passed. Tony snorted and rolled his eyes. Darcy was a girl after his own heart, but even he was lost at her sense of humor at times - it certainly didn't help that she persisted in teasing and bantering when he was hungover.
Steve was apparently some sort of culinary genius, because breakfast was delicious, even if Thor ate all the jam-filled donuts before Tony could try any. Besides donuts, bacon, and omelets, Steve finally figured out how to use the coffee machine. The result was some kind of pitch-black, too-thick liquid that was too bitter for Pepper and Jane. Tony was pretty sure he'd accidentally ingested motor oil while working a few times, mistaking it for coffee, so he wasn't bothered. Darcy emptied half the sugar bowl (which Tony wasn't aware he owned) into her mug, then poured the rest into Thor's cup and they seemed happy enough. Steve himself had to add a liberal amount of milk before he could drink it. Tony supposed that answered the question of "Just what can't Captain America do?".
Afterwards, they sat at the table until Tony was bored enough to crack under the pressure. "Got you all something - it's under the tree. Just call me Santa."
"I," Steve cleared his throat, "I, well... there's a gift for both you and Pepper, Tony, and one for the team..."
"That was very kind of you, Steve," said Pepper. "I've something for each of you too."
Jane fidgeted, managing to knock over her (empty, thankfully for the leftover food) tea cup. "I have- Down in the... well, it's a surprise."
"Well are we gonna go open presents or what?" demanded Darcy. Tony immediately regretted anything he'd ever thought of her that wasn't "Darcy is amazing and I love her I want to adopt her and build her a suit" because you could always count on Darcy to eradicate any awkward moments with just a few words, regardless of how well she knew the people she was saving from stilted conversation and long silences.
Even though he certainly didn't feel like it, the childishness of Darcy's words and Thor's eager grin (not so much childish, as this was Thor's "new Midgardian experience" grin, the same one he'd flashed the team before their first volcano fight - and Tony didn't want to linger any longer on that) triggered some instinct that had him smiling along with everyone else.
"Me first," he declared. "Anything with oil on the wrapping paper's mine, so just look for the nametag until you find your present."
Pepper rolled her eyes and grabbed the nearest oily present. "Go and get some paper towels. I think this is worse than last year."
"Actually, I think I remembered to throw a roll under the tree last night. Didn't want a repeat of Happy's ruined jacket," Tony said.
The present was Steve's, so Pepper gave it to him before continuing to pass around the oil-smeared gifts. Steve, of course, waited politely, but as soon as Darcy had her present in hand she tore off the wrapping paper and seemed to barely remember to clean her fingers before touching the gift inside. Her present was the same as Steve's, actually.
"Thanks," she said, staring at the glove. "What is it? And where's the other glove?"
"You only get one. They're taser-gloves, if you think I'd give you two of those and watch the city burn, then you're wrong. It's got an on and off switch on the inside and you have to hold your hand flat and apply pressure for it to actually stun anyone," explained Tony, demonstrating.
It was hard enough giving one of his gadgets to Steve, giving a delicate piece of technology to Thor would be a nightmare. Instead, Thor got the ugliest phone Tony ever forced himself to make. It was waterproof, bulletproof, and the Hulk could step on it without leaving a crack. JARVIS was in agreement with Tony on this - Thor would break it by Easter.
Aside from Tony's, as usual, slightly eccentric (Pepper's words, not his, but yes, he would admit that he didn't give out sweaters and candy canes like boring people) presents, there was Steve's beautiful paintings and Darcy's homemade dreamcatchers that she swore by and had customized to each person, and Jane's surprise (and much appreciated by everyone, save Steve, who she handed a keg of sarsaparilla soda) present of what had to be a dozen gallons of moonshine that she cooked up in the labs. By the time it was Pepper's turn, Tony was expecting her to pull it out some hand-knitted scarves or something equally homemade. It turned out to be a good bet, as she gifted them all with customised sweaters she commissioned - and not what most people would expect, with extra-long sleeves for Darcy and a loose turtleneck for Thor and soft wool that wouldn't irritate the skin around the Arc Reactor.
It wasn't until after everyone was done opening and playing around with their presents that Thor spoke. "I understand it is desirable to have certain weather on this day," he said. "I cannot guarantee snow this evening, but there is a sorceress in Asgard who owes me a favor, and Heimdall shall hear my wishes and convey them to her."
"That's so cool," said Darcy.
"Hang on, whose card is this?" Steve asked, interrupting Tony's mental rant on how much he hated magic.
"Dunno. Open it and see, if you're so curious, Capsicle," said Tony. Pepper rolled his eyes at his sullen tone, knowing exactly what had him in such a mood. He suddenly missed Bruce, who might not outwardly show it, but who was his one ally in the matter of science and magic. (Clint didn't count, because while he hated magic even more than Tony did, he wasn't a scientist and therefore couldn't be as offended by magic breaking reason as casually as it did which was really what the whole thing was about.) Without him there was no one for Tony to splutter to about how you couldn't just order weather like a freaking pizza delivery.
Steve rolled his eyes at Tony, too, and opened up the card. A cheaply-recorded, instrumental of Jingle Bells filled the air and Steve dropped the card as if it were on fire.
"Singing Christmas card. It contains a recording that plays when you open it. They've gotten popular recently," Tony explained, and picked up the card to read it. "Dear Avengers: Merry Christmas, see you next year - enjoy my present to you all. Signed - wait, what..." he squinted, "Signed, Loki Laufeyson."
He looked up in time to catch the fading colors of Loki's magic, a fantastic array of colors gilded in gold. The gifts scattered around the room (and on Thor, since he decided to change out of his armor and try on his new sweater) glowed bright with that magic and changed to little black rocks.
"Coal!" exclaimed Jane, holding up what was previously a dreamcatcher. "It's all turned into coal!"
Thor looked grim, holding the piece of coal that was once his brand new sweater and examining it as it glowed once again, this time with something sharp and white-blue. "This trick is indeed of my brother, for I recognize his magic. It will hold until tomorrow." His expression slowly relaxed, and though he didn't smile, his voice was lighter as he said, "You need not fear; this is just a childish prank."
"Yes, it's very good to hear we're not going to die, but has anyone else noticed that the song hasn't stopped playing?" Darcy asked as she pointed to the card. As if responding to her statement, the song grew louder.
"I don't like these... singing Christmas cards..." said Steve.
Pepper picked up the card and tore it open, throwing the tiny speaker on the floor and crushing it with her foot. The music grew louder. "I hate singing cards and I hate Loki," she muttered. "This will drive me to drinking before the day is over."
And just like that, they all filtered out of the room without saying a word to each other. Even for Darcy, there were some situations, and magically incessant music was one of them, that couldn't be fixed so that everyone was happy and laughing. Tony found himself on Thor's floor when he tried to take the elevator to the basement (and JARVIS certainly had a hand in that, the traitor) but he was so distracted by the stupid music and still a little hungover so he didn't really notice until the giant rooster started pecking on the window.
"Damn. JARVIS, what was in that bottle?"
"Alcohol, sir."
"Don't get all... sassy British AI on me, J," said Tony. "Just tell me someone spiked whatever I was drinking last night and that the rooster knocking on the window is definitely a hallucination."
"I'd say more pecking than knocking, sir, and your scotch was not tampered with. What shall I do about the rooster?"
Tony squinted at the nearest camera. "Don't you have protocols for that?"
"For a rooster pecking at the window?" If JARVIS had an eyebrow to raise, Tony knew it would be halfway to the Sun.
"No, for a rooster trying to get into the tower!"
"Typically, for visitors, we either let them in, wait for them to leave, or set security on them. Unless you think the rooster is attacking, in which case I could fire the tower's defenses at it?"
"Fine, we'll wait for it to fly away," said Tony, and sat down across from the giant rooster. It immediately stopped knocking (with its beak, so yeah, Tony admitted it could be taken as pecking) and tilted its head at him. Or at least tilted its head, Tony wasn't quite drunk enough to believe the rooster was trying to communicate with him.
After a while he started to feel bad. They were hundreds of feet above New York and somehow a rooster was standing outside his window in the freezing wind that would only get worse when Thor's promised snow arrived. Tony didn't have a soft spot in his heart for animals or anything, but the thought of watching the rooster freeze to death was disturbing.
"JARVIS, tell Steve or Pepper to come help me with this damn bird," Tony instructed the AI as he lurched to his feet. After regaining his balance, he headed for the window and fumbled getting it open. If he wasn't already unsteady on his feet and leaning on the wall for support, he would have been knocked over as the rooster shot into the room as soon as he managed to get the window open. Tony gaped as the bird sauntered into the middle of the room, puffed out its chest, and let loose a crowing so loud he heard ringing in his ears.
"Shit," Tony hissed. "Not good. Ow. Damn bird. Ow!" he steadied himself and shook his head, waiting for the ringing to clear. The rooster paced a little and began to puff out its chest again. Tony leaped forward, tackling the rooster down to the floor. "Not in my tower!" he yelled, relief and triumph lending him extra confidence so that he ignored common sense and tried to chase the rooster into a closet.
Being chased by a rooster over half his size was never the plan, and he had no idea how he would get out of it when he was legitimately running for his life in his own tower. He was breathing too hard to call out for JARVIS and there wasn't any security protocol for roosters, so his only hope was that Pepper would come running in wearing the stilettoes with the disturbingly pointed heels and rescue him.
When the door did open, it was to Steve and Thor, one who looked at Tony in frustration and not a little confusion, and the other who dropped to one knee in front of the rooster with a grin.
"Tony," said Steve. "There's a rooster."
"Gee, thanks, Cap! I never woulda known! Swell of you to let me know!" Tony mocked between pants. Steve's Pepper-worthy response was to roll his eyes, which Tony shrugged off. As Steve eloquently put it, there was a rooster, and Tony felt no pressure for his snark to be up to snuff when their was a giant bird in the tower and he was still out of breath.
"What message do you bring me, Gullinkambi?" asked Thor, still barely holding in his joy.
Tony just about decided the rooster must be some Asgardian carrier pigeon, when the bird opened it's beak and said in a solemn voice, "Thor, my son, I bring you foreboding news."
"Thor, what is that...?" asked Steve.
"Gullinkambi bears a message from my father, Captain," explained Thor.
"The Queen of Helheim is not responding to any messages, and the gates of Elidnir are closed to those of all the realms. You must keep watch over Loki, for though they did not speak perhaps he has now forged an alliance with Hela and seeks to use her sovereignty to bring disaster upon Midgard. I charge you with this, my son." Tony watched the rooster, but other than opening its mouth, it didn't move. However it was projecting the sound, it wasn't by any means he was used to. Therefore, probably magic. He scowled. "Th-" interrupted, the male's voice was replaced by a female's, "Oh, Thor, my son. Your father and I miss you, but Heimdall tells us you are safe and celebrating with your Midgardian friends. If the Bifrost was repaired I would send Gna to you with a cask of mead. Look over Loki - Heimdall says darkness like a cloud surrounds him that his sight cannot pierce through. Send news when you can! We love you."
After something that sounded suspicious like the King of Asgard grumbling under his breath, Gullinkambi closed his beak and looked at Thor. Still smiling, Thor reached out and stroked the rooster absently (Tony did not wince, ok?) as he seemed to be in deep thought.
"This news of Hela is troubling," he said finally. "But come, my friends, for if Asgard has sent this message then the snow must soon follow."
"Thor, uh... what should we do with the rooster?" Steve asked. He pointed to said rooster, who was back to staring unnervingly at Tony.
"Gullinkambi will find his way out," said Thor with a careless shrug, something he picked up from Darcy. "He is a messenger of my father's. Normally he stays in Valhalla, keeping watch over my father's armies there and alerting them when they are needed in battle."
"Right, Valhalla," said Tony. "Where those who die a warrior's death go."
"Not those who die, but those who would have. Valkyrie's sweep the battle sites of Midgard, rescue those with one foot in Helheim, and take them to Valhalla. There they are healed by Idunn's apples and further trained in combat," Thor told him.
"And that's your father's army?" asked Steve, his expression something painful and sharp. "Do you still do that?"
"It is one of my father's armies, for Asgard is a realm of warriors and shieldmaidens. Valhalla is full, and has been for near a thousand years. Before that, the war with the Vanir required the Valkyries' constant presence on Midgard."
Steve nodded, but there was still something painful lingering about his gaze, as if he realized some horrible truth. Tony supposed he could be offended over the Asgard recruitment methods, but thought it was more likely that something about Thor's story brought up bad memories.
"Well, gentlemen," he said, "I don't know about you, but I could sure go for some hot chocolate after being chased by a Hulked-out messenger rooster."
By seven, the three were sitting at the window with the best view and waiting for the snow as they drank hot chocolate. Tony was nearly finished and Thor was having trouble drinking without getting whipped cream in his beard. The lights of the city were slowly joined by snowflakes that gradually grew thicker and thicker.
"Sir, Miss Potts is on her way with Miss Lewis," announced JARVIS. "Miss Potts wants you to know that the card is still singing, but only in the room it was left in."
"Thanks, JARVIS," sighed Tony. Well, at least that was out of way. With any luck, Loki's trick would fade out before morning and Pepper would be able to relax.
Jane beat the other two girls, appearing with a huge mug (on which the words, "Mad Scientist" were printed) full of a strong-smelling liquor. She laughed happily when she saw Thor and immediately made her way to sit in his lap. "Figured out the purple part of the equation," she announced.
"That's wonderful, Jane," said Thor solemnly, taking her mug and putting it aside. Tony looked at it curiously and decided it was probably some of the really hard stuff.
"I put one of the pieces of... coal in the mass spectrometer and then I did some experimenting and then took an energy reading. I have the purple part down. I need Bruce for the green, though. Why isn't Bruce here?" whined Jane.
"Is she okay?" asked Steve.
"She's drunk and doing shifty science. She's fine," said Tony. "The more important question is if she's keeping the hard stuff for herself. I'll have to do a surprise lab inspection sometime."
"Only kept the prototypes for myself," sniffed Jane. "And I'm not drunk. I'm not slurring my words. And the science isn't shifty, it's just part magic and we don't have rules and definitions for that yet."
Thor laughed. "My Jane is far cleverer than you are, Man of Iron, when you are drunk."
"Not drunk," Jane insisted, tapping Thor on the cheek until he looked at her, then almost falling over when he did. "Maybe a little drunk," she amended, turning red.
"Oh, by all the Norse deities, who let Jane get drunk?" demanded Darcy, entering the room with Pepper. She was carrying a huge bottle of red wine while Pepper held two half-full glasses. "Do you have any idea how cranky she is with a hangover? Thor, you're dealing with her this time because I'm getting drunk myself."
"Pour some of that in here, Darcy," said Tony, holding out his empty mug. She grinned and filled it up to the brim, making Pepper wince as she saw flecks of hot chocolate floating in the wine. "I said some."
"I'm not getting drunk with Jane alone," Darcy retorted.
Everyone knew, of course, that Pepper could down the whole bottle and still multi-task while jogging in stilettos, but would limit herself to two glasses at the most.
"I shall join you in drinking!" declared Thor, brandishing his mug towards Darcy. The whipped cream on top looked dangerously close to falling onto the carpet.
"Finish your hot chocolate first," Jane told him.
For a while they all sat there, watching the snow. It was piling up on the roof outside, and Tony distantly remembered he had repairs to do on the bots' treads if he wanted to keep the landing pad shoveled clear of snow and ice. JARVIS was playing some music softly in the background, Christmas songs that were mostly Crosby and his contemporaries, the type of music that Steve might have listened to back in the day. It was quiet.
Too quiet.
"We should sing Christmas carols," Darcy stated, setting her now-empty glass aside.
Pepper, to his horror, was nodding. "That sounds like a good idea," said Steve.
"No. No no no no! My tower, my rules, and I say no singing."
"Tony," warned Pepper. "It's only 87% your tower." He wasn't ever going to be free of that damned 13% comment.
"I should like to learn these Midgardian 'carols' that you speak of," declared Thor, and, well, Pepper was one thing, but there wasn't really any stopping Thor when he declared something. Tony gave up and sat down to scowl. Not pout. Scowl.
Darcy cheered and leaned over to hug him. He laughed good-naturedly and met her halfway so she didn't fall onto Jane, setting his own cup of hot chocolate (cold by now and only half-empty) on the nearby coffee table. Jane patted them both on the back, smiling, until Darcy said, "Jane can play the piano! She knows how!"
"Darcy," hissed Jane, "we don't speak of that!"
"Why not?"
"I was drunk when I told you!"
"Well you're drunk now," said Darcy. She shrugged and looked around. "I think everyone but Pepper and Steve are at least a little buzzed. Come on, Jane!"
"Fine," sighed Jane. She got up off the couch and dusted imaginary dirt off her pants. "Don't think I won't tell them about your singing lessons, though," she told Darcy. "You're going to lead us all in caroling."
"You sing?" asked Tony. Darcy muttered under her breath and stuck her tongue out at him. He would have done the same, but Pepper was giving him the Look so he restrained himself and gulped down the rest of his wine instead.
Unfortunately, the piano was in that room, or Tony could have delayed them all night by pressing every single button in the elevator. He followed Steve over, the last of the group, and grinned madly when Jane opened the piano to reveal the layer of dust on the keys.
"Cleaning services missed a spot," he said gleefully. Pepper shook her head and politely ignored Darcy using the corner of Thor's cape to wipe the keys clean.
"That's good enough, Darcy," Jane said, shooing away Darcy. She experimentally pressed down on a key and winced at the sound. "Needs to be tuned, but it'll do. Any requests?"
"Rudolph," said Tony.
After a few false starts, Jane seemed to remember the tune. Darcy started singing, getting half the words wrong, and Pepper enthusiastically joined in while elbowing Tony until he added his off-key voice to the others. Steve was surprisingly melodic. After watching so many Christmas movies and specials, Thor knew the chorus, and joined in with a hearty (but not shake-the-walls thundering loud) voice. If not for the out-of-tune piano, Jane's occasional missteps and faltering playing, and Tony's pitchy moments, they would've sounded pretty good.
Their three absent members stepped out of the elevator to the sound of Deck the Hallway. All three of them looked exhausted and dirty, like they came out of a battle. Natasha and Clint were certainly dressed for an Avengers mission, though Bruce was wearing the same typical bad-fitting khakis and button-down, albeit a dirty and singed khakis and button-down. As everyone realized the room's new occupants, they stopped singing (or in Jane's case, hit an awful-sounding chord in shock) and gaped.
"What the hell have you been doing?" asked Tony, "Why wasn't I invited?"
"Infiltrating Latveria yesterday, then assisting the X-Men this afternoon, then taking down a drug ring in Canada, then breaking out of Canadian jail," summed up Bruce. "Though I assume Clint and Natasha snuck off last night to incite a rebellion while I was still asleep because no one has explained the missing grenades."
Natasha cursed very long and loudly in Russian at Clint, who shrugged and said nothing, just flopped on the couch and started unlacing his combat boots. "It wasn't my fault, it was Wade's," he said.
"It sounds like you've been... busy," said Steve, staring them down. Clint was ignoring him, Natasha stared back, and Bruce was fidgeting nervously, which meant Steve would talk politely at Fury for a few minutes the next morning until the Director caved and ordered Natasha to brief him.
"It's Christmas. Ever since '97, Tasha and I check up on Victor. The X-Men had some incident with Sabertooth and Logan, and of course they're always low of men when the kids go home for the holidays. The drug ring was an accident," Clint said. "I'm not even going to try explaining why the sheriff arrested us, except for it was Bruce's fault. Anyway, '97 was way busier. I nearly lost my arm."
"Idiot," said Natasha, kicking his feet off the couch so she could sit next to him. She stretched and yawned, motioning for Bruce to come sit down on the seat next to her. "Can you play Silent Night?" she asked.
"Huh?" said Jane. She quickly hid something in her lap. Tony, curious as he was, leaned over and saw that it was a pen and her wrist, now covered with an equation written so sloppily he couldn't see how it would be any use later, and this was coming from him. "Yeah, I can."
It was slower than the other songs. Darcy started singing, and to everyone's surprise, Natasha sang a harmony, still stretched out on the couch. Slowly, the others joined in, except for Tony and Clint. (Tony forgot the words and started humming, and after Natasha gave Clint a Look for singing the wrong words, he joined Tony.)
They sang every song Jane knew, a few she didn't, and Thor taught them Asgard's most popular drinking song. Bruce was appropriately appalled at the magic involved in the snow, Clint didn't drink anything, no one asked to watch It's a Wonderful Life, and Tony admitted to himself that this Christmas wasn't bad at all. In fact, he might even say he was enjoying himself.
At least that's what he thought until three in the morning, after too much to drink and still sore from arm-wrestling Thor, when everyone in the tower startled awake to the familiar sound of Jingle Bells.
A/N: I never knew what someone meant when they said a certain chapter kicked their ass. NOW I KNOW. Inspiration has been running hot and cold the entire time I wrote this, and that coupled with my schedule (I would attempt to explain it, but that would result in a YA slice-of-life novel with chapter titles such as "I Accidentally Joined a Band", "Not Getting Paid Enough For This - Or at All, Actually", and my personal favorite "Whoops I Broke My Sleep Cycle Again" that no one actually wants to read so yeah) means that this chapter was written in bits and pieces with long breaks inbetween, and it probably won't read very smoothly. I'll be editing this fic either before or after the next chapter so I'll go over this update with a particularly fine-toothed comb.
For anyone wondering about my hand, it healed very nicely, which was a big relief because I don't think I could have handled typing so slowly any longer. Thank you all for your kind comments and well-wishes! :)
Mythology Index:
Ambrosia - Surprise! It's a Greek Mythology reference that I'm sure you've all heard before. How I learned it was: Zeus, king of the gods of Mount Olympus, was raised on an island and fed by a goat that poured nectar out of one horn and ambrosia out of the other. Later, this became the food of all the gods.
Gullinkambi - A rooster that resides in Valhalla. His crow, along with those of two other roosters, announces the coming of Ragnarok.
Valhalla and Valkyries - Valhalla is Odin's hall, where those who would die a noble death in battle would go. The Valkyries, who are a sort of like a Viking angel and are always female, would come and carry them to Valhalla, where the deceased become a part of Odin's (undead) army there. They fight all day to prepare for Ragnarok. At night, those who were slain in the fighting come back to life and they all feast. My own interpretation of this is mostly because I had such trouble trying to determine the guidelines for whether someone would be taken to Valhalla (or Folkvangr, Freyja's complement) or Helheim upon death.
Gna - an Asynjur (female Aesir) who runs errands for Frigga on other worlds and rides a horse named Hofvarpnir.
Vanir - a race very much like Aesir. The Aesir and the Vanir once when to war, which resulted in the two sort of joining together. Freyja and her brother Frey are two Vanir gods that live in Asgard. (Freyja may actually be Frigga, in Mythology. I'm treating them as two separate beings.) The Vanir live on Vanaheim.
Comics Index:
Latveria - is where Doctor Doom lives, and also the country he governs.
Wade - Wade Wilson, also known as Deadpool. He was in the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie, and is a favorite comic book character of many people on Tumblr, which is how I know of him. He apparently makes a habit of breaking the fourth wall.
X-Men, Logan, and Sabertooth - are all X-Men related, and I'd do a really bad job explaining, so just trust me on this and watch the movies. :)
There is an important notice regarding PMs in my profile. I'd appreciate it if you would take a look. It will be in bolded text and near the top.
Next Chapter: New Years or after, probably, with Loki and the kids and friends. Let's see if I can get this updated before Christmas? I'm attempting NaNoWriMo for the first time so no updates this November, sorry :(