Chapter 10 - Old Wounds are Hard to Heal

Bella's POV

Edward drove my car back to the Cullen's, after our visit with Evan. I sat in the passenger seat watching him intently, he was very quiet and seemed to be deep in thought. He didn't appear too agitated, he was very calm and collected. I had been worried about him meeting her, if I was being honest I was really worried about his hunger and whether Evan's blood would have tempted him like mine had when he first met me. The entire time we sat with Evan I was extremely nervous. My heart was racing in fact and I knew Edward could hear it. But when he glanced at me and gave me a reassuring look I knew that everything was alright. Evan was not like me at all. I never wanted her to be. What Edward and I had was special and unique. If Evan had been the same as me then I honestly think I would have been devastated. The fact I was different to others made me sure I was meant for Edward, that we were destined to be together. The relief I felt when I knew that still was the case was completely overwhelming.

We hadn't stayed long. I knew Evan was not entirely comfortable with the whole thing but she did appear to be trying hard. I was no stranger to the fact that meeting Edward for the first time was a bit overpowering experience and left you in awe of him. It certainly did for me and I knew it did for most people who encountered his quiet confidence and his beauty.

"What are you thinking?" he asked me suddenly. His voice was smooth and velvety as always.

I sighed. "Just about Evan and you meeting. I think it went well. Did you?" I asked him, knowing his answer would not be what he thought but what he knew from hearing Evan's actual thoughts.

"Hmmm" was all he said.

I turned my head right around to examine his face. He still looked calm.

"What is it Edward?" I asked him. "There's something you want to tell me, its about Evan isn't it?"

"I think perhaps…." he paused a moment his eyes still concentrating on the road in front of him and I tilted my head at him. "I think that it would be a good idea if I waited a while before meeting her again."

I felt the blood drain from my face and I started to panic. Had I been wrong? Had he wanted her? Wanted to feed on her? My stomach noughted painfully and my heart began to thud.

"Calm down Bella" he said smoothly. "Its not that!" already knowing why my body was reacting to his words.

"What then? Edward just tell me?" I begged.

He stopped the car suddenly on the empty road. He turned in his seat and let his piercing topaz eyes fall on me, making me melt there and then. He smiled at me and brought his cool fingers to my temple and brushed them along my warm flustered skin, cooling me down making me feel calmer. He let his hand rest on my shoulder and continued to examine me quietly as he waited for me to relax.

"Evan is…….she is very aware for someone so young. She does not miss much". Edward spoke slowly.

"What do you mean, what did you hear?" I asked him.

"The entire time we sat with her, she was not really paying attention to the conversation that was going on. She was more interested in me, from the moment I walked into that house she did not miss a thing, not one thing. She was examining every single gesture I made, every mannerism. Things that people do not normally pick up on. She was instantly weary of me, she knew that I had secrets and she knew that you were protecting them."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"How? I don't understand. How could she know that?"

"Like me, she can read people very well but unlike me it is not because she can hear thoughts, she is just very intuitive, extremely perceptive. I have to admit I was quite impressed. Its not something I've often come across, especially in one so young. And, like her sister she is very intelligent, curious and stubborn." He smiled softly at me.

"You think that she may figure out what you are?" I asked worriedly.

"She has no idea what I am. But she senses that I am different, she knows that I appear to be someone I am not. And, she knows that you know the truth. Evan is adamant that she will find out what that is. So I think it would be for the best to take me out of the equation for a while until she finds another distraction. She is still very vulnerable right now, she is extremely overwhelmed by her situation and feels alone and quite lost. She is grieving Bella, and Evan is going through the motions."

"She's not happy here is she?" I already knew that.

"She will need time. She is intimidated by you. It's a natural human reaction. She is pulling her defences up to make herself feel safer. It is worse with me next to you. You should give her some space and when you do see her spend more time with her alone. Evan is not herself right now" he advised me.

I'd agreed with everything that Edward had suggested. And the following day I decided to give Evan space. Let her spend time with Charlie, as it was the weekend and he wouldn't be working.

It was late afternoon. I'd been shopping with Alice all morning and I'd returned home and walked into Edwards room, ourroom. He was lying back on the large bed, headphones on listening to his music. The bed he'd bought for us and the bed we'd finally found good use for. Edwards hunger for sex was relentless, every night since we first made love he had to have me. The thought of it made me blush, it made me tingle all over and the familiar rush ran through my middle. It didn't matter now how many times we had done it, every time felt like the first time. Every time was utterly indescribable. And he never tired, he never slept. I was exhausted but I didn't mind, I loved it, I loved him. Up until now it had always been Edward who started things, made the first move. I guess I was still a little shy about that part. Besides, I liked it when he took the lead, and I never wanted him to feel uncomfortable and force things at a pace he was unprepared for. He was still a vampire and I was still a human and I had to remember that. I had to always remember that the thirst for my blood forever burned in his throat. So I let him take the lead. But as I stood there at the foot of our bed watching him lying with his eyes closed, as if he were sleeping, thoughts entered my mind, intense darkly erotic thoughts. Suddenly Edwards eye's flashed open and he stared at me with burning gold orbs. Pulling the headphones from his ears in one fluid motion he leaned up on his elbows and leaned his head to the side.

"What is the matter Bella? I can hear your heart thudding so loudly it is drowning out the music." his voice was low and easy.

I bit my lip and stared back at him but words were lost to me. His mouth turned into a crooked grin as if he could hear my thoughts. My body was betraying me, he knew the rhythm of my heart too well, he knew when I was scared and he knew when I was lustful. I felt my cheeks blush again and heard a low chuckle escape his lips. Then his topaz eyes swept slowly over my body, taking their time before fixing on mine once more.

"Tell me what your thinking Bella" he whispered hoarsely.

"You already know what I'm thinking" I told him.

"I do not, that is why I am asking you Bella. You are very aware that I can not hear your thoughts." he teased.

"Yes, but you can hear my body." I shot back.

He smiled again, a delicious mischievous dark smile.

"Tell me!" he demanded his voice was low and gruff. He sat up now.

I felt shy all of a sudden and I swallowed slowly. He was enjoying this game. Edward loved his little games. My heart started beating faster.

"I was thinking about you" I said nervously.

"Tell me!" he repeated.

And he licked his lips briefly. My stomach did a flip.

"That I wanted you, that I wanted to touch you while you laid with your eyes closed not knowing I was standing here."

He grinned his crooked smile again.

"More" he demanded.

"That I wanted to ………..do things, without asking, without waiting…"I paused. Too embarrassed to go on.

"What things?" he pushed me, his voice so low now it was almost a growl.

I couldn't speak anymore. My lust for him was overwhelming, I could not formulate any more words, all I wanted was to touch him. To feel his cool skin on mine. I pulled myself on to the bed and crawled towards him and as I did so he lay right back letting his head fall back on to the pillows and he stared at me expectantly. With my legs on either side of his hips I lowered myself slowly until I was sitting on him. My hands strained on each side of his head and my face hovered above his. I could feel his cool hardness straining against my inner thigh and pressed against my own sex and I shivered. Very slowly I lowered my lips until they came to his neck and then I let my warm tongue lap on the porcelain white skin there, over and over. I heard him gasp as I did so and a thrill rushed down my body to my core and it burned. He seemed to twitch between my thighs. I let my lips brush softly against him then I whispered in his ear.

"I want to taste you Edward." and he groaned, his eye's fluttered shut.

Bringing my lips back down to his neck again I began to kiss and nip at the skin there. Edward remained very still but I could feel that his hands were gripping at the sheets tightly trying to control himself. I trembled with excitement. Then without thinking, without processing the idea properly in my head I opened my lips and bit down hard on the skin at his neck.

I happened so quickly. Before I knew it I had been flipped over onto my back, Edward had me pinned below him. A loud growl had come out his mouth and his eyes were wild and warning, they became intense and fervently dark in a split second. He was gasping almost panting above me. Struggling with the animal within him, the predator. I knew I should have been terrified. That I'd pushed him too far but I felt exhilarated, I wasn't scared and my heart thud so loudly my ears ached. He could hear it and he growled a warning growl. I was not helping.

He brought his head down to below my chin. My wrists were held tightly within his grip and I couldn't move at all. He was panting, fast and loud. His cool breath drifted over my burning skin and I could feel that his mouth was hovering over my neck. My heart began racing now, so fast I was beginning to feel a little faint. "Surely he wasn't?" I thought. I can't have pushed him thatfar. The fear began to grow from inside me now dampening my fire. Edwards cool lips brushed the skin of my neck and he growled a low slow grumbling growl.

"Bella!" his voice was barely a whisper. "Bella?" he begged me.

He wanted my help, he needed me to calm him, he needed to hear my voice.

"Edward!" my voice was strained. "Edward, my love. My beautiful perfect Edward" I repeated over and over.

It must have worked because he lowered his head and brought it to rest below my chin. We both lay there silently, Edward gaining control of himself once more and me slowly getting my heart rate back to a normal healthy beat. He released my hands and I wrapped them instantly around him letting one hand work its way into his thick bronze colored hair. We lay like that for a long while.

Eventually I spoke.

"Edward? I am so sorry, please don't be upset. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have pushed you." my voice sounded desperate.

"No."he said forcefully but calm. "You have done nothing wrong. I am sorry. I encouraged you, I let this happen without thinking of the consequences."

He lifted his head and stared at me.

"Did I scare you?" he asked me. His eye's, back to their warm golden hues looked sad.

"Not as much as you think you did." I tried to reassure him and smiled.

I sat up suddenly and pulled myself from the bed, glancing back at Edward I caught the hurt expression flash over his features.

"Edward, come here." I gestured to him gently as I stood by the bed. He brought himself up on to his knees and kneeled before me so we were at the same eye level. Leaning forward slowly I brought my lips until they were inches from his and waited. He sighed quietly and brought his cool hands up to cup my cheeks before pulling my lips to his to kiss them passionately. Eventually we broke apart panting.

I smiled again.

"I trust you completely." I whispered.

"I ruined the moment by losing control." he sounded frustrated and angry with himself.

"You will just have to make up for it later then." I grinned back, desperately trying to lighten the mood. "And I will let you take the lead from now on, until I'm changed that is." I added

"That would be wise" he told me, starting to sound like himself again.

"I think I'll phone Evan and find out what she and Charlie got up to today?"

Pulling away from him I picked up the phone sitting on Edwards desk and starting punching in the familiar numbers.

"I willmake it up to you though" I heard Edward promise as he lay back on to the bed.

"I hope so." I grinned before hearing Evan answer the phone.

Hey Evan" I said quickly.

"Hi Bella, how's it going?" she sounded tired.

"Oh good, good.. How are you?" I asked enthusiastically.

"I'm fine, how is Edward?" she asked too hastily. I glanced back at him lying on the bed, he was watching me intently. He could hear Evan from the receiver.

"He's good. Were you okay meeting him yesterday, I didn't really get a chance to ask you what you thought of him." I watched Edward raise his eyebrows at me, a warning.

"He's great" her tone changed slightly, she sounded nervous "Seems like a really nice guy, very good looking" she added. I couldn't help smiling at Edward. He just shook his head dismissively at her comment.

"Yeah" I agreed. "So Evan, what did you do today?"

She paused slightly before continuing.

"Well, Charlie took me to La Push today to visit the Reservation" Edward leaned up, resting himself on one of his elbows. His brows furrowed slightly.

"Oh! Did you have a nice time there?" I asked, but I knew what Edward was thinking. Evan was trying to do some digging around.

"Yeah, I did actually. I've wanted to go since you told me about the place. Charlie took me to see his friend Billy Black. He seemed like a nice man." sounding excited.

"Yeah, Billy and Charlie have been good friends all my life."

"Bella?" her tone changed suddenly. "How come you never told me that Billy had a son called Jacob?".

My eye's went wide and my mouth hung open. I stared at Edward in surprise. He seemed more suspicious now of Evan and got right off the bed and walked towards me until he was standing right next to me.

"Oh, I just didn't think of it." I lied

"Its just that Charlie told me that you were really close friends?" she added.

Stuttering now. "We were but we kind of grew apart." Edward placed his hand on my shoulder to calm me.

"Its terrible about him going missing?" she sighed. My jaw clenched tightly and I felt Edward grip my shoulder and rub it.

"She's playing with you" he mouthed silently to me. Warning me. My eye's grew wide at the realisation.

"Yeah" I said quietly. I couldn't believe it. I felt slightly betrayed at the idea.

"Seems like a nice guy though, he's really big isn't he? I couldn't quite believe he was seventeen when I met him!"

I gasped, I couldn't help it. Edwards face completely changed and he stared at me incredulously.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I asked again.

"Yeah, I met him at First Beach today". Evan sounded completely innocent to me but I knew from Edwards expression that it was far from the truth.

"J J Jacob's back?" I gasped again. "He's home?" I was shocked.

"Yes Bella. Well we just left his house there and he was with Billy. Hey I have to go now. We are just home and well, I think Charlie wants to order a pizza for dinner so ….." the words rushed out of her mouth all at once.

"Oh em, oh right, okay then…..I, I will talk to you later Evan" I said confused.

"Sure thing Bella. Bye".

The line went dead. My mouth was hanging open and Edward took the phone off me and put it back down on the desk. Turning back around he looked very serious.

"I think I underestimated Evan." he said quietly.