Chapter 10 - Ana

Warm tea soothed her cold hands as she sat curled up on one end of the couch while the tenacious Kate occupied the other end. She had prepared herself for this moment. The one that would beg of her to share every dirty little detail from the night before. Honestly, she wished she hadn't played eye spy from across the dance floor because then they would not be having this conversation at all. But she had and now she felt like she was in an interrogation room being poked and prodded by her line of questioning.

Ana set down her cup of tea on the coffee table and carefully ran through the scene of events. Her chest constricted with the memories. Her heart swelled with the rush of emotions she had and continued to feel for him. Her lips tingled at the mention of his head spinning kiss. This detail she almost opted to remain a secret, but instead, she shared reluctantly. As the truth left the tip of her tongue, she glanced over at Kate who was wide eyed and mouth gaping at her in shock.

"He kissed you," she reiterated the breaking and extremely confidential news that she had just shared with her. "Wow."

Ana rubbed the palm of her right hand that had left her with the stinging reminder of her encounter with Christian. It had happened so fast in the moment, and yet, now it played out in slow motion.

"Was it good?" Kate asked curiously. She was unbelievable sometimes, particularly right now.

"It doesn't matter," she shook her head.

Her eyes peered at her with suspicion. "That means it was."

"Like I said," Ana spoke a little louder. "It doesn't matter. It's not going to happen again. I told him to stay away and hopefully he finally got the message through that thick head of his."

"It is an odd way of apologizing," she pointed out humorously. There was a long silence before Kate spoke again. "I'm sorry, Ana. I know you just want to move on from what happened, from him. I think he really does want to make amends, even if he has a strange way of showing it. I hope for your sake that you're right and that he finally took the hint."

As much as she wanted to distance herself from him, she knew that it wouldn't be that easy. It never had been since she woke up in her hospital bed. This wasn't just a minor mishap that could be forgotten. This was something that shook the world beneath her feet in a way that would haunt her for months, maybe years, but hopefully not a lifetime. She could not imagine a lifetime of feeling like this. The pain, the torture, the bundle of emotions that quaked just at the mention of him. Something or someone would surely come along and help her erase it all. For now, though, she had to endure what life threw at her and she had to handle it to the best of her ability because she didn't have a choice. She never did the instance their worlds collided.

"In all honestly, I would just like to forget that last night ever happened." Ana sighed.

"Maybe for you, yes, but for me," Kate whistled. "Let's just say it was unforgettable in a very good way."

Well, at least one of them had a good night. Shut up, you're night wasn't all bad. Stop lying to yourself, her conscious kicked her swiftly. The unravelling of Kate's night filled her ears, but she was lost in thought. There was no concentration to be had outside her bubble that trapped her against her will. All she could think about was how incredibly mind boggling last night had been for her, and it all started with her stupidity. If she had never given him the satisfaction of one dance would she be here contemplating her feelings like a detective on a high profile case? The answer to that was no. No matter if she had denied him, he would have pursued her. He was too stubborn and too caught up in the notion of their irrefutable connection, according to him.

Her mind dug through to the bottom of her pile of problems and confusion that dealt with him to find the revelation they had discovered. While he had been outspoken about it, she remained silent. She didn't want to dwell on it in fear that he may be right. That it meant something and that something meant there was more to the puzzle that they made up. There was no logical conclusion to how or why they stumbled upon a replica of each other's dream, at least, not one that she could find. It was far fetched and coincidental by her standards, but even then she knew that she was only being rational when their situation had the potential of being irrational. He proved that to be true. What she wouldn't give for some simplicity in her life right now.

Rising from the couch, Kate smoothed out her long and silky locks of hair. "Where are you going?" Ana asked unable to recall a single word she had just said to her about the man she found herself canoodling with at the gala.

"I have a date," she smiled. "A lunch date, but a date nonetheless. I just said that."

"Sorry, you know it's hard for me to concentrate," Ana responded. Her hand guided to her head.

"I know. I would have a hard time too if a successful and ridiculously good looking man was chasing after me too." Kate teased. She held her hands up in defense. "I'm kidding, sort of. You know if he's really causing trouble, I could just give him a swift kick to the.."

"That wouldn't be necessary, Kate." She interrupted. "But, thanks. I think I can handle him and if it gets to that point, I'll gladly kick him where the sun doesn't shine myself."

"That a girl," she laughed. "I'm off. If you need anything, I'm just a phone call away."

"I'll be fine. Have fun of your date."

With a pep in her step, Kate was off to get lost the world of romance while she found herself only in the literary form. She sipped her tea as the rain outside picked up a bit as it hit the windows in rhythmic timing. Today was the perfect day to take her mind off things and read a book that would seclude her from her real life problems. As she rose from the couch wincing at her aching body, she made her way to the tiny book shelf in the living room and ran her fingers over the spinal bindings of the books. Which one would do the trick? Hmmm...

Breaking her from her decision making, a startling knock on the door made her jump. Had Kate forgotten something? Had she locked herself out for umpteenth time? Ana shook heard. She was a repeat offender for forgetting her keys. A cruel thought of making her wait outside in the rain for a minute put a smile on her face. That would teach her a lesson. Not today, she has a date, she reminded herself and walked over to the door.

"I'm going to permanently attach your keys to you, Kate." She announced loudly for her to hear from the other side of the door. When she opened it, she frozen like the snow queen herself had cast her wicked charm on her. "Christian," the whisper of his name passed her lips.

What the hell was he doing here? She gulped hard at the sight of him. Wet spots from the rain temporarily stained his jacket and jeans. The corners of his lips twitched upward for only a brief second before he produced his mouth into a straight line. His stare that had pierced her soul as it did the night before had an equal intensity about it. Oh no, Ana panicked. Unable to detect his intentions of showing up at her doorstep slightly terrified her, yet thrilled her all at the same time.

"I just want to apologize about last night," he announced. "I was way out of line."

Out of line? She wasn't entirely sure if there was even a line that divide right from wrong when it came to him. Crossing her arms, she raised her chin high. She had to appear strong and unamused by his surprise appearance when internally she was a candle that quickly melted beneath a flame. "Okay, apologize then."

The rain continued to soak him like a slow transition.

"I shouldn't have kissed you," he shook his head. Thin creased lines formed in the middle of his forehead. "I don't know what came over me, but no matter the case, it wasn't right. I'm sorry and I will respect your wishes and never bother you again."

He really had come all this way to apologize. She had half expected him to continue his charade from last night, but that simply was not the case.

Guilt simmered in her chest for some unknown reason. After her endless attempts to ask of him to quit bothering her and proclaiming ridiculous inquiries that pertained to them, he was doing so. He had finally decided to listen, to act upon her requests. Christian would no longer be that nagging thought in the back of her mind. Her life could press play and feel fresh again. However, a single thread was still attached to him. It was unbreakable. Even if he were to walk away and never speak to her again, she could never fully wash him from her mind. Her soul was scarred because of him. Her memories were laced with his indiscretions and perfectly formed physique. Her lips were forever graced by his touch. Christian Grey was no longer the man that had tripped into her life under horrible circumstances. He had twisted his way in and collided with her to the point that they couldn't unravel. Ana internally kicked herself for what she was about to do.

As he nodded his head, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and turned quick on his heel. What needed to be said was now released out into the open. What more could he say at this point? His apology had been clear and now he had to stay true to his word, but watching him walk away was unacceptable. She could not explain what came over her in that moment, but that next thing she knew her mouth was open and she had asked, "Do you want to come in?"

Christian spun around sharply with utter shock upon his face. She held her breath waiting for his response. He was not the only one who was taken aback by her comment.

With his eyebrows furrowed, he looked down at the ground before he lifted his gaze back up. "Do you plan on slapping me again if I do?" He subtly smirked.

"That all depends." Her tone was much lighter now. "Do you plan on behaving yourself?"

"I'll try my best." Christian remarked.

Ana stood blocking the threshold debating her decision to invite him in. She still had a chance to shut the door in his face. She could end all the nonsense that floated between them right then and there, but instead she stepped back and let him inside.

Now, the question wasn't what the hell was he doing, but what the hell was she doing? A part of her felt instant regret knowing that this was dangerous waters she was about to tread. It had been less than twenty-four hours since he had lasted kissed her and left her hormones skyrocketing over the skyscrapers of the city. Of course, he didn't know that. He could never know that. It was inappropriate on so many levels.

Upon entering, he stepped out of his wet shoes and shrugged off his jacket.

"I can take that," she offered to take his jacket from him. The quick brush of their hands caused an metaphorical electric shock between them. She chose to ignore it. "If you want I can throw it in the dryer for you."

"Yes, please." Christian rubbed his hands together. His eyes danced around her place taking in the sight her sanctuary. A man of luxury could not find amusement in the shoebox she lived in. She was sure of it, and so, she left him to make his silent judgements as she walked just beyond the kitchen into the makeshift laundry room.

Pressing a few buttons and throwing his jacket into the dryer, she leaned against the machine with her palms flat against the cold metal. Good job, you invited him in and now you have no idea what to do with him, she quietly judged herself. If she could hit rewind, she would. Her impulsive move had backfired quickly. What on earth would she do with him now that he was inside her home? What would they talk about? She had been foolish. She should have just let him walk away, but she hadn't. This was her fault, not his.

Ana sighed and gathered herself before she had to tolerate his presence and her decision once more. As she stepped back out into the kitchen, she noticed him staring into the living room. It did not take much for her decipher where his gaze had landed upon. The dead bouquet of flowers he had sent her remained the centerpiece of her coffee table. Shit!

"Would you like something to drink?" She tried to divert his concentration away from the physical reminder of him in plain sight.

"No thanks," he replied. Her diversion had worked. "You have a lovely place."

"Thanks," Ana replied and poured a glass of water for herself.

With her back turned toward him, she could feel his penetrating stare on the back of her head and other parts of her body. The man that stood just moments ago on her front step had changed. The atmosphere in the room had shifted. She took a sip of her water to try and ease the gradually rising heat to her cheeks. Maybe it was time to address the elephant in the room.

"I'd thought you would have thrown them away," he ended the dead silence. "The flowers that I sent you. I knew you got them, but I'm surprised to see you kept them at all."

"Like I said before," Ana turned around and leaned the small part of her back against the counter. "They are beautiful. Well, were beautiful."

It appeared like he wanted to add something, but refrained himself from doing so. If only he had refrained himself from kissing her last night maybe she wouldn't have been so inclined to have him as a guest now. That was a lie, though. No matter how hard she tried to forget about their bizarre unconscious connection, she knew that it had happened and needed to be addressed. The timing of last night just seemed to overwhelm her. Now, her head was on a little straighter. She could think a little more clearly.

"Look, I know last night was a bit much and things got a little weird," Christian initiated the conversation.

"Weird doesn't even cover it."

He nodded his head in agreement.

"Can we at least talk about it, though?" He shrugged his shoulders. His stance showed signs of fear that she would shoot him down again with the idea. "I know that you didn't ask for any of this. I know it's extremely overwhelming for you, but it's for me, too."

"I know that," Ana responded. She would have to be blind to not see that.

Equally, they were both bombarded with questions and emotions that neither of them were prepared to feel, but each to their own had a way of dealing with it. While she was more reserved, he approached it with open arms. His confidence to address any situation was somewhat admirable, yet somewhat annoying, too.

"Ana, I'm not trying to make you suddenly change your mind about me. I hate the fact that you will probably resentment me to some extent forever. I don't blame you for that, but what I would like is for you to stop ignoring what's going on between us." He sighed. "You and I both know that after last night that there is definitely some sort of connection."

"But, what if it is coincidence?" Her theory was a long shot.

"Do you really believe that, though?"

"No," Ana bowed her head.

"Neither do I." Christian stepped forward. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but we should."

He was right. They should talk about it, but their X rated dream was not a topic she wished to discuss freely and openly.

"And what conclusion will that bring us? I'll admit that we had some freaky dream," her cheeks flushed red. The corner of his mouth twitched up again. "And I'll admit that there probably is some deeper connection going on for that to even be possible, but what else really needs to be said?"

Christian's eyes peered at her. He placed his hands on the back of a kitchen chair and leaned in a bit. "Oh, maybe the part about us fucking." Her breath was caught in her throat. The way he said fucking made her whole body go hot.

"We could have shared any dream and that's the one we both conjured up." His tongue darted out of his mouth and licked his lower lip. "It's interesting, isn't it?"

"Not really," Ana put her guard up. "People have sex dreams all the time. Sometimes they even envision the other person as someone they never imagined of doing it with."

"And how many sex dreams with random guys have you had before, Ana?" Christian quickly inquired.

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. Had he seriously just asked her that? It was so personal. She did not like where this was going. Her name rolling off his tongue echoed in her head. He was getting under her skin in a good and bad way.

"None besides you. Is that what you want to hear?" She placed her hands on her hips. "It was just a dream. That's it. We don't need to discuss it any further, okay?"

The familiar frustration that occurred whenever he was around was very much present at the moment. Yet, her body betrayed her as she felt the connection they shared wanting to draw her closer to him.

"Maybe you should go," she advised him. "Maybe it's time you hold on to your promise and just stay away for good."

"Why did you ask me to come in then? If it's not to talk, then why am I here, Ana?" There he went again dropping her name. Her palm tingled with the sensation to slap him again for being such a smart ass.

"Honestly, I'm asking myself the same question."

His eyebrows rose in curiosity from her response. The answer was there, but she could not find it. She could not form the right words to tell him why she hastily wished for him to not turn his back on her. The fear that burned inside her sparked wildly because as she debated what to do or say next, he moved closer to her. He inched forward like a panther stalking its prey. Her breathing became staggered and she pressed her thighs together.

"I lied." His hot breath touched the skin on her face. He placed his hands strategically on either side of her. She was trapped. "I don't feel bad about kissing you and I don't feel bad about wanting to kiss you this very second, but I won't. I know where you stand. I know how you feel. So, I'm not going to kiss you, unless you want me to."

It was next to impossible to stay strong with him so close. Her barriers were crumbling faster than a house of cards knocked over by a gust of wind. How could he do this to her? How could he make her feel so desired and unfazed by his indiscretions? Out of all the men to be attracted to, to feel the need to be involved with it had to be him?

Her hand tingled with the urge to rise and strike him. Maybe he needed some sense slapped into him again. Maybe he needed to be reminded that he needed to stop chasing after her. That there was a ring on another woman's finger that claimed him rightfully hers. But, as she drew up her hand his fingers wrapped around her tiny wrist and held it in place.

"Don't you dare." He warned her. "I've done nothing to you to deserve that again."

"You've cornered me in my kitchen," Ana breathlessly answered. Her words twisted the edge of the knife deeper into his gut. "You have a fiancee, remember? Or have you once again forgotten all about her?"

"I don't give a shit about her right now." Christian snapped.

"Well, you should!"

"The only thing I care about at this moment is you. I care about how much you hate me right now. I care about how much you're trying to deny me." His tone was like a fishing line reeling her onto shore. She tried to fight against his pull, but he was the one clearly winning. "Tell me that you didn't like it and I'll go. Tell me that I repulsed you when I kissed you. That you haven't replayed that dream over in your head and wondered what it would be like in real life. Tell me all of that, and you'll never see me again."

Was it that simple? His ultimatum was handed to her on a silver platter and all she had to do was tell him the truth. That she didn't enjoy it and that she had wiped away the memory with ease. She would no longer have to deal with him. To feel him suffocate her and question his morals. The words were ready and waiting in her throat, but she couldn't quite get them up and out of her mouth. That's when she knew that she had officially lost her fight.

With her free hand, she grabbed his shirt and kissed him. She had been the initiator. She had stepped over that imaginary line this time. Not him. The girl that inhabited her body was a traitor. She had completely blindsided her and come out of left field. Who was this girl and who let her loose? She was unstoppable.

The hand that Christian gripped tightly had become freed. It gravitated to the back of his neck while his hands pressed against her hips. She winced at the pressure. Her body was still sore in random places from the accident. Thankfully, he had not mistaken it for a pleasurable moan and moved his hands to her back. His embrace was tender, yet needy. His lips moved at lightning speed. Damn, he was a good kisser. Her dream did not do him justice when it came to his soft lips upon hers and the rest of her exposed skin.

Swiftly, he dropped his hands down to her ass and lifted her up on to the counter. He did so, but not without an audible moan of pain.

Between her legs he moved in and he placed his hands carefully on her thighs. She felt like she was back in high school all over again. Making out in the kitchen, but this time with a guy that was far too good looking for her and way out of her league. Not to mention, who had caused the aches and pains that radiated through her body. This was so wrong, but it felt so good. She hated herself. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't. She let Christian run his mouth from her jawline down to her neck. She let him slip a hand just underneath the hem of her shirt to feel her skin. She was about to let him go so much further until the tiny grunts that they continued to make back and forth from their discomfort finally go to her.

They were incapable of doing anything without sounding like two people who had aged beyond their years. While it may seem humorous to view it that way, it was definitely not. What had happened to them to make them feel inferior to normalcy was sad, but it wasn't permanent. With time they would regain strength again, but it wouldn't be overnight and no way would having an intense make out session that was becoming a little more physical than she had planned would help that either. But, that wasn't the only reason that made her drown the girl that had emerged. There were so many other factors that played into her decision to not go any further than this already had.

"Christian," she mumbled. "Christian, please stop."

"Did I hurt you?" He asked worried.

"No." Ana bowed her head. "We can't do this."

"But, you kissed me. I thought..." Christian argued.

"I did and I shouldn't have. I don't know what I was thinking. You were just there and I was just," she bit the inside of her cheek as she thought. Her hands covered her face. "Go home, Christian."

The weight of his body pushed her legs apart further.

"I don't want to go home."

"Go home, Christian!" Ana snapped and uncovered her face. "For crying out loud, go home to your fiancee. What you're doing her, to me, it's not fair."

He stepped away from her and ran a hand down his face. For a second, he looked lost like he understood the situation for what it was for the first time since he began his pursuit on her. After it passed, his expression turned to stone.

The beeping of the drying machine came on cue as if it knew that it was time for him to leave. His stay had been long over due, and to think that she could have avoided this bundled mess if she had just kept her mouth shut and closed the door ten minutes ago.

"I'm going to get your jacket. When I come back, I want you to go home. Don't argue. Don't even try to change my mind or think about coming back." Ana lectured him with her eyes focused on the floor. "If you know what's good for you, you'll do just that."

Christian didn't say anything. He stepped back and out of her way as she hopped off the counter and kept her head low. As she retrieved his now dry jacket, she mentally beat herself up over her decision and over actions. He wasn't the only one with indiscretions now. Her name had been added to that list and she didn't feel good about it.

When she returned to the kitchen, Christian was nowhere to be seen. Outside the large window from her living room that faced the street, she saw him. He walked in the rain to his car. A part of her almost went after him to give him his coat, but it was no use. Just as fast as a raindrop fell and hit the ground, he was in his sports car and driving away like a bat out of hell. The warmth of his jacket soothed her in an odd way and immediately she tossed it over the chair to rid herself of the reminder of him.

"What am I doing?" She moaned to herself and took a seat at the kitchen table.

Opposite of where she sat, she saw a small rectangular card that was not there earlier. She reached across and picked it up. Her breath hitched and she flipped it between her fingers. He had left his business card. He had left a way to get in contact with him, but why? The man never listened. No matter how many times she asked him to stay away it only seemed to make him want to come closer. And the message he wrote on the back of his card made that blatantly clear:

Thanks for the confirmation. When you're ready, I'll be waiting.

I just want to say a quick thank you to all of my readers. You've have been nothing but supportive and kind. I'm so happy that you are enjoying the journey of this story. Also, I wanted to mention that I would love for you all to connect with me at my blog .com, on Wattpad, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, too.