Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the song it mine. But it would be sooooooo awesome if they were.

Notes: And now, the next chapter for you. It covers from where last chapter left off to a while later, and the next chapter will jump foward in time (rather a series of jumps covering a couple of years, then to the good stuff.) Next chapter will make you very happy. I hope. Considering it's only 3 pages long so far... but I like what I have planned. But let's do this chapter first before we get to the next one, eh?

I'm going to have Kinmoku have the same kinds of weather as Earth, except snow and all. Just rain and clouds and stuff. I don't remember if they do or don't in the actual series, manga or anime. So for this story it goes as I say. Because... I wrote it. Yes. Also, I just realized that one of my favorite songs fits Usagi and Seiya really well. If you haven't heard "I Swear" by All-4-One, then listen to it. I'll see if I can get it uploaded on the net and give you the link. Though please use it just for listening and not re-distributing (don't know why you would), I don't want any legal trouble. Hmm... maybe I'll put Dirty Little Secret (the song) up for grabs too. It would make sense. Anyway, check out "I Swear" if you haven't. Lots of Usagi/Seiya can be found in there. Moons, stars, and loooove. Aw, I love it. Moving on...

You know what my favorite word is? I'll give you a hint. It starts with an "r" and rhymes with "eview!"

Posted 4/16/06 (My sister's 2nd birthday!)

Dirty Little Secret

Summary: Alternate ending and continuation of the Stars season. Before the lights leave, Usagi confesses to Seiya that she returns his love, and he leaves with a promise to someday return. Soon after the departure, Usagi suddenly and strangely moves to an unknown university, very far away. Few know her secret, but they promise to help her until the day Seiya will return-and when he does, he will make a great discovery. A Seiya and Usagi love story.

Last chapter:

Usagi looked out her window at the night sky, which was crystal clear. She knew that somewhere out there was Seiya, and it made her happy, and she smiled gently. Admiring the sky reminded her that Seiya was still with her, in a way, in her heart. But sadly, clouds eventually obscured the stars, blocking them from her. She frowned, irritated her entertainment was gone. Stupid clouds... oh well, might as well sleep while I can. And so, her star gazing abruptly interrupted, Usagi went back to sleep-holding her angel close. At least she had this part of Seiya with her, this wonderful piece of life that was more precious to her than anything else in the world.

and

And so he closed his eyes, and tried to think about how it felt to be a senshi. That strong power, endless energy, the rush. He took a deep breath and imagined himself as the transformed Fighter, ready for battle. And not thinking about anything else, he concentrated, as hard as he could... Seiya opened his eyes, and...

Nothing.

"DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!"

Chapter 9: Longing

If I had the chance love

You know I would not hesitate

To tell you all the things I never said before

Don't tell me it's too late

Usagi woke up the next day at 6:41 PM. She had enjoyed sleeping well past a normal time, especially after having a baby only one day ago. Kari had been born at 7:32 in the morning on Saturday, May 13th. It was now May 14th, and Usagi realized something as she sat up groggily, still holding Kari to her chest.

"Oh my God, it's Mother's Day." Usagi laughed a little and hugged Kari. "And... I'm a mother! Wow, what timing!" She laughed again, and looked at her daughter, who was still asleep. And I thought babies were supposed to wake up more often. But I won't complain about getting lots of sleep... I always have loved sleeping in. "Wow, Kari. You're taking after me already! Hopefully I can prevent my bad habits from influencing you. Sleeping is fine, but I won't let you procrastinate like I did in school. Although I was kinda busy saving the world a whole lot..." But you won't have that problem.

Suddenly, Usagi gasped. "Oh, no! It's Mother's Day and I didn't send my mom anything! Not even a phone call!" Usagi reached over to her bedside table and dialed her home back in Tokyo. She had been pretty good about calling her mother once a week to stay in touch, and responded to the occasional letters and calls from her friends when she received them, though she sent few out.

"Hello?"

"Hi mom! Sorry I'm late, but... happy Mother's Day!"

The two women talked to each other for only half an hour before Usagi stated she had to use the bathroom badly, but she would call her mom back right when she came back, because she still wanted to talk. In reality, Kari had just woken up. Haruka quickly took over for Usagi, and it was no favor, as Haruka adored the child already. Usagi's following conversation with her mother lasted for almost two hours, until Haruka told Usagi that she couldn't watch Kari any longer, because Kari was hungry and Haruka wasn't exactly the one to feed the child. So, Usagi said that dinner was ready and she had to go, which was sort of true. Kari was eating, wasn't she? Nonetheless, Usagi had greatly enjoyed speaking with her mother.

As Usagi sat, still in bed, feeding Kari, he thoughts drifted to a certain man miles away. She rearranged her shirt as Kari had just finished up, and staring into her daughter's eyes only reminded Usagi of Seiya more. Kari really was a miniature Usagi, but those eyes... every time Usagi looked at those eyes she had to smile. Not only because they reminded her of her love, but because it reminded her of what their love had created. Realizing she was rather hungry, Usagi stood and took Kari with her to the kitchen.

Setsuna had gone back to her place in Tokyo, but visiting Usagi every other day for an hour or two. Haruka at present was at the grocery store, or so she had told Usagi. Kari was a small baby, being so early-although she was perfectly healthy. Thus, it was quite easy for her mother to hold her easily, cradling Kari in the crook of her left arm, as the mother made herself dinner.

"And now, the world famous chef Usagi Tsukino will prepare... a gourmet... grilled cheese sandwich. A very delicious one. What a cook you have for a mother, Kari." Usagi laughed at herself when Kari simply blinked and stared at her mother with her big, round eyes. It was strange, how Kari's eyes were the color they were now from the moment she was born. Usagi was certain that all babies had dark eyes when first born, and technically Kari's should have been deep blue. Although, Usagi was also certain that all mothers were quite different from her.

After successfully making a "gourmet" sandwich, Usagi sat at the kitchen table and quickly polished it off. Before she could decide on whether to make another one, the front door opened.

"Koneko-chan, I have a surprise for you!" said a voice.

"Wow, that was fast. What store did you go to?" Usagi unconsciously decided that a surprise was more important than a second sandwich, and she immediately abandoned the table and empty plate, but still holding the child. "Did you say surprise?"

Haruka strolled casually into the kitchen, one arm behind her back. "I sure did. Now, close your eyes."

"But I don't want to!" Usagi was a mother, but she was still young, and... still Usagi.

"Oh, fine." Haruka then pulled from behind her back a dozen pink roses and handed them to Usagi. "Happy Mother's Day, Koneko-chan."

The younger woman grinned broadly and gave Haruka a one-armed hug before pulling back and taking the flowers. "Thank you so much! Can you hold Kari for a second? I want to put these in a vase."

"Sure thing."

The bouquet lasted for two weeks before finally starting to wilt, which made Usagi rather sad, as she found the flowers to be an especially lovely addition to her small kitchen. She made a mental note to go and get some more the next day to redecorate the table.

–

His right palm was facing the tree as his left palm braced his right one. This was it. If he didn't get anything this time, he was calling it quits-at least for a while. His eyes were narrowed in concentration as he let out his building frustration from two weeks of unsuccessful attempts in an irritated shout.

"STAR SERIOUS..."

It had been exactly fourteen days since Seiya had started what was becoming a pointless endeavor. It had started out as a boyish and somewhat childish fascination with something that might be magical, something mysterious that a curious kid would be drawn to. But eventually Seiya had realized that unconsciously he had wanted this silly thing to work for another reason. He didn't want to be Sailor Star Fighter anymore.

It wasn't that he wanted to stop being what Fighter was, it was just that he enjoyed being Seiya more. He had come to the conclusion that while he thought he was drawn to the concept of something such as mentioned in the book, he had really been attracted to maintaining his sense of power, his identity as a fighter, without actually being Fighter. Seiya wasn't quite sure why he had the sudden desire to be both of his selves as just one of them, and was almost confused at the idea. But by now he had figured out one thing. He wanted his powers, and he wanted them without relying on anything but his own self. Plus, the idea of being both male and female was becoming more and more uncomfortable to him.

It was because of all this that Seiya had decided to practice every night using his powers without transforming. The previous day, Seiya has managed to get something like a part to emit from his hand, which was, if he thought about it, not bad-although he was sure if he hadn't stopped trying from surprise he could have done more. He had put the book back in the library three days ago, reasoning that it couldn't help him, as it was just a bunch of mumbo jumbo anyway. But he had a feeling that one thing it said was right: that what he was trying to do was possible. So Seiya had figured that instead of being a little insane and using some fake book he'd entertain one of its ideas. And so, with all the energy he could muster, he gathered what power he could summon in the same way he did as Fighter and channeled it to his hand...

"...LASER!"

And then, as if rewarding him for his intense determination and persistence, a spark formed in front of Seiya's palm. But he didn't stop there, like he had the day before. Seiya kept up his energy, until the spark grew, and there was a small ball of light in front of his hand.

And then, all at once, a beam of light erupted from the small glow and streaked across the dark filed. It lit up the scene much more then the stars and Kinmoku's moon ever had, resembling the light emitted from a violent strike of lightning. Seiya's eyes widened in awe as the beam crashed into the tree with a surprising force and snapped it right in half, the top half flying backwards a good fifty feet.

Just as soon as it was there, the light was gone. Seiya turned his palm to his face and stared at it, amazed. He glanced to the obliterated tree stump and the severed half. Before he could bask in the glory of his accomplishment, a wave of exhaustion hit him and he was forced to sit down. His shock quickly turned to a satisfied happiness, and he laughed out loud to the crystal clear sky, and a familiar face formed in his mind, which only elevated his elation.

I'm thinking of you, Odango. And I wonder... are you thinking about me?

A sudden voice interrupted his thoughts, and he turned to it, still a little dazed.

"Seiya? Is that you?"

–

Usagi and Haruka has conversed briefly on the subject of how long Haruka was going to stay. The latter had insisted she was staying as long as possible to make sure Usagi would be alright, and would go eventually. Usagi protested, saying that she was holding Haruka up, and that Haruka was being too generous in providing for both Usagi and her daughter. Still, Haruka insisted that it was nothing, mentioning that she has quite a lot of money due to her career. Usagi hesitantly agreed, but said that she would pay Haruka back someday, whether it was money or a favor. To this, of course, Haruka protested. It seemed both were too determined to get their way for either of them to get anywhere, so they dropped the subject and opted to watch a movie instead.

After the movie, Usagi retired to bed and Haruka stayed in the living room to casually flip through the channels. Before going to sleep, Usagi fed Kari. It was becoming usual for her to look at the sky at this time, and what she saw made her happy. For the first time in two weeks, the sky was clear. The stars were all out and twinkling, and the moon was full and bright. It was crystal clear and the night was full of peace and splendor. For the first time that day, she thought of Seiya. Like the sky, her image of him was very clear, and also very strong. She almost could feel his presence with her, almost. Usagi closed her eyes, imagining that he was with her.

And when she opened her eyes, he was gone. She knew he'd never really been there, but that strong feeling had left her, the feeling that he was beside her. Strangely, she felt very sad then. The sudden loss affected her more than it should have. Usagi looked out her window again. When she saw that the sky had become cloudy again, a tear fell from her eye. The moon was still there, glowing brightly, but she couldn't see the stars anymore. She didn't know why the sudden sadness had overcome her, and another tear fell. Usagi was very upset, and kind of upset with herself that such a small and insignificant thing was affecting her so. But still... she wanted to see those stars, and more now than ever before.

–

Seiya tensed when he heard the voice. Who could possibly be out this late, and all the way out here?

"Seiya?" the voice called again. He could tell it was a female now.

"Who's there?" The woman didn't respond, but he could now make out a silhouette approaching. Kinmoku's moon wasn't very bright that night, and he couldn't tell who it was. He could make out long hair, very light and shining. She was short to medium height, but he couldn't make out a physique. For a moment, it looked sort of like...

"O-Odango?" he whispered into the night.

"Who? Seiya, it's just me... you know, Bella?" Seiya blinked a little and stood up as the figure became more clear, and he couldn't help but feel intensely disappointed.

"Oh, it's you."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Finally he could see her clearly, and she stopped about ten feet from him.

"Why are you here?" Seiya asked bluntly, obviously not happy anymore.

"Well that was nice," she replied with sarcasm. "And I could ask you the same, and at this time of night?"

"Well, I asked you first."

"I saw a bright light and was curious..."

"You were looking way over here, and so late at night? So you decided to just wander off and investigate?"

Not wanting to answer, she changed the subject. "Seiya, is that... a tree over there?"

"It was a tree. You see, a bolt of lightning hit it. I was out here because I couldn't sleep. I had too much energy and decided to go for a run, when suddenly this happened." Take that, Bella. I can lie, too.

"Oh, I see..."

"And what about you?"

"I couldn't sleep either," she said, but with hesitation.

"Right. Anyway, you should get back."

"Seiya... there aren't any clouds in the sky... are you sure lightning struck here?" She asked skeptically.

"They moved away fast," he retorted.

"Oh, okay then... Well I'm going back, walk with me?"

"Actually, I want to stay here for a while."

Bella pouted and put her hands on her hips. "Well, do you want some company? I could st-"

"I'm fine, thanks." Seiya turned away from her.

"Suit yourself then. Goodnight." She frowned and walked away, grumbling a bit when he didn't respond to her farewell. Seiya looked back up at the sky, and felt at ease. Back on Earth, the skies cleared and a certain blonde smiled, feeling her despair simply melt away.

–

Evening the next day found Usagi and Kari Tsukino under a tree in Shiroyama Park (see below), with pastel pink cherry blossom petals lying around them. The blooms would be gone soon, and Usagi wanted her daughter to see them. The large park was only a couple of blocks from Usagi's condo, as were many other attractions. Usagi had decided that the following weekend she would take Kari to the coast for a day, and try to persuade Setsuna to tag along. Haruka already made sure she went everywhere with Usagi and Kari. But today, Usagi had finally convinced Haruka to stay at home while she went out with Kari.

Two weeks and two days had made Kari resemble a baby more than an infant. Usagi thought that the child couldn't possible be any cuter than she was the moment she first laid eyes on her, but she'd been wrong. Kari was growing more and more adorable every day, and the passerbys commented on it. Usagi had gotten many compliments on how her daughter was the cutest baby ever, how the baby looked just like her mother, what a picture they made; there was so much! At first it was a little weird to have complete strangers talking to her, but she got used to it; although she wasn't approached more than once since she had sat down in the shade.

As the sun set, the sky was graced with pink, purple, and orange hues. The pink matched that of the cherry blossom petals, and Usagi's dress. It was the same dress she had been wearing the day she had found out she was pregnant, and now that it fit her again, Usagi was happy to wear it. The weather had been quite nice as of late, though the park wasn't too crowded despite the serene atmosphere. Not able to support her own head yet, Kari remained in her usual position; cradled in her mother's arms. A light breeze blew some of the petals off of the tree and they swirled around the duo. Kari, still new to the world, was utterly fascinated by it. She stared at the petals with wide eyes, following them as they fell. Usagi, however, wasn't as at peace as her daughter.

Usagi had a dilemma. Michiru's tour had gone awry due to bad communication in scheduling, and she would be returning early. Haruka had to leave Usagi's place when Michiru and Hotaru got back. Thus, Usagi's helper was leaving much sooner than she thought. She would have to resume her job, which wouldn't be too much of a problem, as the kind establishment had promised to welcome her back. But still, it was too soon. Usagi wanted to be a full-time mother, not a part-time one. Sure, she needed money, but she did have what she had saved. Since the wealthy Haruka had provided for her while she was out of commission, Usagi still had her stash. But it wasn't enough. Eventually, she would have to go back to work. She let out a sigh. I'll find a way to support us. It doesn't matter if we're just a tad poor right now. "Well Kari, daddy has a lot of money. When he gets back I won't have to work so hard." Aww, daddy! That's so cute! I can't wait to see them together... She smiled.

I wonder what I'll say to him, though. She frowned.

Hmm, tricky... She sighed again.

Whatever. I still have a while. Kari, he's going to love you so much... She smiled again. The contrasting emotions were too stressful for such a peaceful evening. Usagi could settle on contentment for now. She looked down at Kari.

"You'll be such a daddy's girl, I just know it! But my girl, also, of course. Definitely my girl." Usagi chuckled. "Wow, Seiya is going to spoil you rotten. I'm going to have to restrain him from buying you everything you see and doing everything you ask." Usagi stroked Kari's short hair. "But you know, he's the kind of guy that would give you the world if you just asked." But I don't need the world, now do I? I just need him, and you. And of course my friends and family, too! "Though you are my family, Kari. You and Seiya. And we're gonna pull through this together, just you watch. One day you'll meet my friends and my other family. I know mom will have a spaz attack when she sees you. From the cuteness, of course." I'll just tell them all ahead of time about the situation... ugh, not something I'm looking foward to. But I don't think the method with Haruka is a good one... definitely not just showing up with a baby. Too cliché... and I don't have a death wish. I'd die from the awkwardness. "You're my secret weapon, Kari. They won't be able to resist you. I can use your little, adorable self to my advantage!"

Another breeze blew around the two, and Usagi decided that it was time to head back. Standing up rather gracefully, Usagi began the short walk back to her home. I can think about Haruka leaving and my friends and family and Seiya and all those troubles tomorrow. Right now, I'm getting a headache...

Later that evening, Usagi looked at her calendar. It was Monday, May 29th. "Only... er... ugh. I hate math. More than two years left... Great." Usagi tried to stay cheerful, even though the time separating her from Seiya was staring her in the face. She missed his company so much, not to mention the way he made her feel. She missed his touch, his kisses... just thinking about it made her feel elated-only to make her feel equally depressed after she ceased her thoughts. I want you to be with me, Seiya. I want you to be Kari's father. I want to spend every day with you. I want us three to be a family... Usagi turned away from the day-tracker on her wall. Kari needs a father, Seiya. And I need you. Come back to me...

Usagi crossed the room to her bed, where a sleeping Kari lay. Picking her up, Usagi went into the living room, picked up a book Setsuna had brought her the other day, and began to read.

Shiroyama Park:

Oh, it's real. I actually google'd Kagoshima to see if I could find a real park to use in the story, and tada, there it was! I am, however, unsure of the seasons that Japan's cherry blossoms are in bloom. I know in DC they are (or were when I went last week), but I'm not sure about overseas. Oh well, let's just pretend it works even if it's messed up. And there are actually quite lovely photos of cherry blossoms at Shiroyama park if you can find them. Google gave me ok ones, but gettyimages was awesome. So if you're bored, you could look at pretty trees! Or... something...

NEXT CHAPPIE JUMPS FOWARD IN TIME! IT'S FREAKIN AWESOME, MAN! STAY TUNED!

P.S.

Kingdom Hearts II is my life. (Other than this story, or course!) KH2 is teh sex. I -LOVE- Sora, Roxas, Riku, Axel, Cloud, and Squall (or Leon, whatever). Oh em gee. -dies from hottness-