AN: Here's my author's note for this chapter… I saw the extended trailer for New Moon. I expect more dreams of Robert Pattinson (because every time I see him, I dream about him. I shit you not).

I was disappointed with some reviews that I received. I love all reviews, but when I get reviews claiming distaste for my characters choices (in this case, Bella and Zafrina kissing), it does bother me. I thought everyone would be a little more open-minded, but I guess not. If two find women kissing too disgusting for you, then do not continue reading. I have not decided if I will write them having sex, but if I do, I will let everyone know beforehand.

Much love to Zhivago3, my sounding board. Without her, this chapter would be a dud.

On another note… can someone please explain to me the whole "looking through the lashes" thing that I see often written in stories? How does one achieve this? I have pretty long lashes and I can't seem to look through them. Is this supposed to be sexy? It confuses the hell out of me. Someone enlighten me please!!!!

Oh… and sorry for the delay and the length of this author's note…

Disclaimer: as always, I do not own twilight, only naughty thoughts of Rob…

Chapter 9 – Acrobat

BPOV

The rest of the night passed in a daze for me. All I could think about was the kiss with Zafrina. Throughout the night I would absentmindedly press my fingers to my lips, still feeling her soft mouth on them. I never kissed a woman before and, honestly, it wasn't so bad.

Once the party was over, Zafrina and I shared a cab ride home. I lived closer to the museum so we stopped at my place first. Zafrina had the driver wait as she walked me to the front door.

"Hey, listen," she said nervously. "I'm really sorry. I know you said it was okay, but I still feel bad and I just hope…"

I grabbed her by the back of her neck and gently kissed her before she could continue. We were both blushing and giggling like little school girls when we pulled apart.

"I've never done something like that before," I smiled sheepishly.

"Sure you did, earlier this evening," she recalled, grinning.

"No, not the kiss, the taking initiative part. Ed...he always took the lead in anything we did sexually. I was too shy to ever make the first move."

"Well, you certainly weren't shy now and I rather enjoyed it," she smirked.

I glanced around not sure what else to do or say. "So…umm…" Here I stood, an English professor and I was completely at a loss for words.

"I guess I should get going. The meter's running in the cab anyway." She leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss on my cheek. "I'll call you soon. Thank you for coming out tonight."

"It was my pleasure, Zafrina. Thank you for inviting me out." I watched as Zafrina walked back to the waiting taxi. I dug into my purse, brought out my keys and headed inside.

Once in my apartment I kicked off my shoes. I changed into my pajamas and readied myself for bed.

1999 – End of Senior Year in College

EPOV

"Bella?" I called out walking into our apartment. I skimmed through the mail lying on the foyer table. Bills, more bills, and letters from Dartmouth and Stanford addressed to Bella.

"In the kitchen!"

I made my way to the kitchen stopping when I saw Bella bent over a box.

"Mmm," I moaned, "now there's a sight to behold."

"Pervert," she laughed.

"I can't help it, you look glorious and oh so fuckable." She stood up and looked at me before grabbing the dishes on the counter to pack up. "What? You're going to ignore me now?"

"No, it's just…" she blushed.

"Geez, Bella, after all of these years together, you still get embarrassed by the things I say. You're beautiful. You're gorgeous, and damn it, I want to fuck you all the time, so sue me," I shrugged.

"I'm sorry." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't be sorry. There's nothing to apologize for really." I walked closer to her. "Here, let me help you finish." I began helping her pack all the kitchen utensils and appliances into the boxes. "The guys are going to be here around eight for the move."

Now that Bella had graduated, we were moving closer to the hospital so I wouldn't have to drive home after a long shift. Bella constantly worried that I would fall asleep at the wheel of the car.

"That sounds good. I'm really excited, Edward. It's like a new beginning for us again," she smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes.

Bella and I have been together since high school and I never knew her to not be enthusiastic about anything we did together. She became the epitome of the perfect girlfriend. When I was horny, she fucked me. When I was hungry, she fed me. When I needed my space, she let me be. She always knew what I needed, sometimes even before I did.

I couldn't help notice, though, that she did things for me, but rarely ever for herself. She was completely selfless, to a fault. She lost the fire in her eyes and I missed that about her.

"Hey, Bella, since we won't have anything here to cook with, do you want to go out and grab a bite?' I asked wrapping a glass in newspaper.

"Sure, whatever you want to do is fine," she answered.

"What are you in the mood to eat?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "It doesn't matter to me. Whatever you want is fine. You know I like anything you pick out," she smiled.

Whatever you want. That was Bella's new mantra. I almost felt like Prince Akeem in Coming to America. In order to get her to choose, I would sometimes have to resort to arguing with her, but I was in no mood to argue today.

"Fine," I sighed.

We finished packing and moved all the boxes to the living room. We would tape everything closed in the morning when Emmett and Jasper arrived.

I took Bella to her favorite Italian restaurant in the area. It was a small place but she loved the mushroom ravioli they made. We were moving some distance away and I knew we wouldn't be able to visit as often.

While we waited for our food we spoke about my day at the hospital. I was well into my internship and things were getting pretty hectic with the intern exam coming up. I was one of the youngest in the program so there was a lot of pressure from my parents, particularly my father, to succeed.

I asked Bella about her graduate school plans. She just graduated last week but never mentioned anything of her future. We both were always concerned about what was going on with me that it wasn't often that we spoke about her plans. It may have seemed as though our lives revolved solely around me and my work, but I wanted Bella to succeed as well. I knew she would be good at whatever she did.

"I'm enrolling into the teaching program at UW," she said flatly.

"You don't sound too happy. Is that what you really want to do?"

"Yeah, sure why not? It's a good program and I would be placed as a teaching assistant after a year while I finished working on my master's," she said as if trying to convince herself it was a good idea.

I cocked a brow at her. "You know you received some mail from Stanford and Dartmouth. Have you considered them as well?"

Her eyes flashed with hope, and then it was gone. "No, I mean… I would never go that far unless you... Did you want me to leave?" she questioned.

"Whoa, Bella," I reached across the table for her hand. "I don't want you to leave; I just want you to consider all of your options…"

"Edward, I will be anywhere you will be, so it doesn't matter. You want to stay in Seattle and I will gladly stay here. Besides, it's cheaper. I wouldn't be able to afford any of those schools, so there is no point in discussing this further," she argued.

The food arrived effectively ending the conversation. I wasn't finished though. All of her decisions, if you wanted to call them that, revolved around me. These were life choices that needed to be handled, but she threw them to the wayside. Of course I wanted her to be with me – she was my life – but not at the expense of hers.

Even with little things like choosing a place to eat, she would defer to me. The move was the same way. Apartment hunting was frustrating as her response to what she thought of a place was "what do you think?" Worse yet was the sex. Sex was always good between us, but more and more I was the one initiating and dominating in the bedroom. I knew she wanted it, I would see it in her eyes, but she hardly ever made the first move anymore. I was beyond frustrated.

We finished our dinner and drove back home in silence. I noticed Bella grab the letters from the schools and throw them away. When Bella went to shower, I took the letters out of the garbage. I was surprised at what I read.

"Whatcha got there?" Bella asked entering the living room in only her towel. The water droplets were glistening on her skin and I felt my cock twitch. If I didn't want to talk about what I had in my hands, I would have taken her right there.

"Bella," I began," I'm sorry, but I opened the letters."

"You went through the garbage and my mail?" she asked angrily. I nodded. "I can't believe you. Why would you do that?"

"I was curious. You just threw them away without even a glance. And you should know something."

"Oh and what's that?" she crossed her arms in front of her.

"Both schools offered you teaching fellowships, all expenses paid."

"What?!" She yanked the letters from my hands and quickly skimmed through them. "I don't believe it."

"Why not? Bella, you are so smart and you deserve this just as much as anyone."

"But what am I going to do?" She flopped down onto the couch next to me.

"Bella, love, you have to do what you think is right for you," I answered.

"What do you want me to do?" I shook my head.

"This isn't about what I want you to do. This is about you and what you want." As much as I wanted her to stay, I also couldn't allow her to pass up this opportunity because of me. If she chose to stay here because of what I wanted, she would regret it later in life and even begin to resent me. That's the last thing I wanted.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Of course I do, but again this about you. I can't leave the internship now, it's too late otherwise I would follow you, but I love you and thousands of miles wouldn't stop that. We would make it work. I can't make this decision for you. This is your life."

"So you want me to leave?" I pinched the bridge of my nose trying not to get upset at her thinking I wanted her to leave again.

"I didn't say that," I wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulders and drew her close to me. "It would kill me for you to leave, but I want what's best for you, not me." God, how I wanted her to stay, but I couldn't let her know. I didn't want to influence her.

"It would kill me, too, to be apart from you. These are all great opportunities, but I already made my choice and that's you. I'm staying at UW." I secretly jumped for joy in my head.

I lifted my head to her chin and turned her to face me. I looked directly into her big, brown eyes. "You are absolutely sure this is what you want?"

"Yes. I want this." This time she gave me a genuine smile. I smiled in return and brushed my lips against hers.

"Thank you." I kissed her eyes lids. "Thank you for making a choice." For choosing me, yes, but more importantly for choosing for herself.

2005-2006

I looked at my watch. It was half an hour to midnight. The whole family was at my parents' house along with the rest of Seattle society. This was the first party I was attending without a date; the first in a long time without Bella. I didn't go anywhere the year before as I was still wallowing in my misery from my break with Bella.

I hid out of sight on the staircase, watching everyone below enjoy themselves and get drunk. There were some single women there, probably trying to get themselves into my pants, but I had no interest in them. I only wanted Bella and I couldn't have her anymore.

Alice walked pass me talking animatedly on the phone.

"Wait, hold on a second, I'm going someplace quieter," she told whoever she was talking to on the other line.

She disappeared into the bathroom at the top of the stairs and I continued my people watching, still not interested in mingling. In the past, Bella and I would stand in a corner and make fun of all the socialites getting the evil eye from my both of our mothers. It was always nice to ring the New Year in with her by my side.

Alice opened the door and screamed out for Rosalie. "Get in here!"

"Alice, it's almost midnight. What do you want and why are you hiding in the bathroom?"

"Bella's on the line, she's got something to tell us." I whipped my head around to Alice. She shook my head letting me know that it wasn't for me to hear. As soon as Rosalie was in and the door closed, I quietly stalked to the door and pressed my ear against it. "Bella, you're on speaker now."

Perfect. I was able to hear the whole conversation now.

"Hey, Rosalie!" Bella yelled.

"Bella, we miss you! I wish you could have been here and Happy New Year!" Rosalie exclaimed. Bella was three hours ahead and already celebrated. "How was the party?"

"The party was great. It was fun hanging out with all the artsy folk."

"That's wonderful to hear, but what's the big news?" Rosalie asked, always one to get to the point.

"Bella kissed someone," Alice said excitedly. I instantly saw red.

I knew it was no longer my business, but I still couldn't help getting jealous. I fucked up, but ultimately she was mine, right?

I controlled my temper so I can continue listening to the conversation.

"Who is he? What's his name? Is he hot?" Rosalie inquired.

"Relax there, Columbo, it was a co-worker."

"Not that Tyler guy I hope," Alice sneered.

"Ew, no. I haven't spoken to him since that disastrous date thankfully. Anyway, it was an art professor."

"Ohhhh...is he eccentric? You know all of those artsy folk are freaks in bed. Well, I've heard anyway. It's good to expand your horizons, try a bit of the buffet."

"Right…" Bella mumbled something and the girls were quiet. I pressed harder against the door hoping I wasn't missing anything.

Alice spoke up first. "Can you repeat that because it sounded like you said you kissed a girl?"

"I did." What? Did I fuck her up so much that she's turning to other women now? What the hell did I do? She did sound embarrassed, maybe it wasn't something she really wanted to do.

"It's okay, Bella. It's not the end of the world. I've kissed a woman before; it doesn't make me a lesbian. You were drunk and had some fun. It's a story to tell your kids in the future."

"That's the thing, Rose. I wasn't drunk and I think I may really like her. I'm not ready for any type of long term relationship, but she's really sweet." Perhaps this is a passing phase. The fact that she doesn't want more gives me some hope.

"Well, you really are sampling from the buffet then, huh?" Rosalie chuckled. "Well, we won't judge you, but she will still need to get approved by us."

"Whenever you guys are out here again and if we're still dating, or whatever it is that we're doing, you are more than welcome to give her the third degree."

"Yeah!" I heard Alice clapping. "Guys the countdown is starting here. Bella, you can ring in the new year with us…again."

"Sure!"

The door opened suddenly and I almost fell to the ground before Rose caught me. Alice glared at me and walked back downstairs to her husband. I followed closely behind.

"Jasper, Emmett, Bella's on the phone."

"Hey Bella!" they yelled in unison.

"Hey guys!" Before they could get anything else in, the countdown began.

"5…4…3…2…1...Happy New Year!!!"

"Happy New Year, Bella!" Alice screamed into the phone. "We miss you and love you! We'll call you soon!"

Alice was about to hang up the phone, but I snatched it away from her.

"Bella? Bella, are you still there?" I looked at the phone to see that the time was still clicking. "I know you're there, please talk to me."

"Edward." I sighed in relief at the sound of my name.

"How are you?"

"I have to go…"

"Bella, wait…" She hung up before I could continue.

I stared at the phone in disbelief.

"She doesn't want to talk to you, Edward. She's not ready for it. You have to give her time," Alice reasoned. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough," I spat out. "Women? I messed up so badly that she doesn't want anything to do with men now?"

"Don't flatter yourself, it wasn't only you. And besides, who knows if it's going to last. This is new to her. I'll just suggest again to give her time. If and when she's ready, she'll let you back in, but I wouldn't expect that anytime soon."

"Right," I nodded.

"Come on, Eddie," I cringed at the use of the nickname. "Let's enjoy the rest of the night and just think about her later. Mom and Dad would appreciate it if you were here tonight for a change."

"I am here."

"You know what I mean." I did understand and she was right, I needed to move on and enjoy my life again and that started with my family.

AN: So this is the beginning of Bella taking action with her life. I know I normally keep the flashbacks in the same POV as the present POV, but I wanted to show how Edward was frustrated with Bella not taking initiative on anything because she was a little too devoted to him. She was losing herself and didn't know it. Now she's on her own and being aggressive about what she wants. It's about time.

FYI: Coming to America is a great movie starring Eddie Murphy. If you haven't seen, you need to! Columbo was a detective show back in the '80s starring Peter Falk.

I'm entering the Esme's Erotic Ecstasy Contest hosted by kikikinz and coldplaywhore. That one-shot will be up soon, so if you want to read it be sure you have me on author's alert.

One last thing… It's my birthday bitches!!! Leave me some birthday love and review, review, review….