Thank you to Betham and Yellowglue for their help and friendship. I posted CH8 during ffn fail so apologies if you didn't get the update email. I got a bit distracted by Nano so this is later than I intended. Thank you to everyone who is reading & reviewing.

CHAPTER NINE

"I'm worried," Alice says to Jasper. Her voice is quiet and her forehead is creased with worry lines. Everything is fuzzy; black and white static where her visions usually fall. It makes her nervous to not be able to see anything. Her gift is such an inherent part of who she is that she finds it difficult to function without it's benefits. She tells Jasper she feels dizzy and off-centre.

Jasper sends out a wave of calm to blanket her. He's feeling confident. The plan is sound, they have the numbers and the element of surprise. While he is not looking forward to fighting with newborns again, he doesn't think they need worry too much. Working with the wolf pack isn't so bad after all. If he ignores the tumultuous wave of emotions that emanates off them - particularly Jacob - it's almost bearable.

Jasper pulls Alice into his arms, assuring her that all will be well.

The rest of the afternoon passes quickly.

Seth phases back into his wolf form while Edward gets Bella settled in the tent. He scouts around the area in a wide circle, keeping his senses on high alert in case Victoria decides to arrive earlier than Alice has foreseen. He tries to stay as far away from the clearing as possible, so he doesn't have to think about Edward and Bella lying together on her sleeping bag, but every few circles he passes by close to the tent - just to double check the area is clear, of course. One time, he can just make out the sound of Edward's deep voice reading to Bella. It makes something deep in his chest hurt, and he makes his patrol area wider after that.

The rest of the pack is in wolf form. They're out running too, and are going to take turns keeping vigil during the night. Seth is to stay up there with Edward and Bella to keep watch. Sam tells him to get some sleep as well, but Seth doesn't know how he'll manage that with everything that tomorrow will bring.

Soon, the sun's orange afternoon glow fades away, and Seth watches as darkness slowly falls into place. He has always liked being in the forest at night. The air tastes sweeter in the dark, and he likes listening to the sound of the night creatures waking up. Everything is so still, he can almost feel the snow forming on the air. For a moment he imagines that he is a real wolf, that he doesn't have all his human worries.

He keeps running but slows his pace, drinking deeply from a small stream before heading back in the direction of the clearing.

Seth? Are you out there?

The sound of Edward's voice in his head is both shocking and exciting, and he gallops up the mountain, bursting into the clearing in a rush of wolf-musk air and damp fur.

Edward laughs at his dramatic entrance, and Seth bounds up to him, shaking himself like a dog so the dew droplets from his coat spray all over Edward. This earns him a flick on the ears and Seth laughs in his mind, crouches low and pounces. Edward sees Seth's plan and dodges out of the way at the last second, chuckling as the confused wolf chases his own tail looking for him. They play 'tag' for a few minutes; the still night air is full of the sound of wolf paws bounding and skidding in the damp earth, and Edward's laughter.

Seth loves the way Edward's face lights up when he smiles.

Seth is panting heavily, and feeling fatigued after a couple of hours spent patrolling the area, and eventually he flops to the ground. To his surprise, Edward sits beside him, even though the ground is cold and covered in night dew. He's so close, within reach of his paws, and part of him aches to move closer, to feel Edward's body against his coat. He's pretty sure he didn't let that thought out, but just as he thinks it, Edward's hand comes to rest on the thick fur ruff at the back of his neck.

It's the first time they have touched.

The weight of Edward's fingers threading through his fur is cool and comforting.

Perfect.

It's so quiet, it's almost as if they are the only ones in the world. Edward doesn't say anything, and Seth tries hard not to think of anything other than how content he is right now, in this moment. As they sit together in the dark, soft snowflakes begin to drift on the air. Edward pokes his tongue out and catches one on his tongue.

It's Bella murmuring in her sleep that breaks the moment. Edward says he's going to check on her - make sure she is warm enough. Seth had almost forgotten she was there, and he tries not to feel disappointed as Edward gets up and leaves him. He walks over to the forest edge, to the huge fir tree where he left his clothes, and with a heavy sigh leaves his wolfskin behind.

The jeans and hoodie feel rough and unfamiliar against his skin since he spends most of his time wearing shorts and little else, but even a werewolf with an elevated body temperature needs some protection against the snow. It hasn't gotten any heavier and is barely settling on the ground, but the air is colder up here, and he's thankful that he thought to bring the extra layers with him.

Edward brings a small blanket back with him and spreads it on the ground for them to sit on. He says Bella is fine; Alice made sure she had plenty of warm clothes and the sleeping bag Carlisle bought for her is fit for Arctic conditions. He doesn't think she'll wake until the morning.

They pause for a moment, neither of them knowing what to say. It's different now that Seth is human again. Like it's somehow more real.

Seth feels...safer, knowing it's only Edward in his head. He's never really thought about how the pack bond makes him feel; but it definitely isn't a feeling of safety. God, Sam is anything but safe.

"He..hurts you?" Edward whispers. His voice is full of concern, but underneath there is a brittleness that makes Seth wrap his arms around his knees before he slowly nods. He didn't mean to let that thought escape - it just slipped out! Fuck! Why the hell can't he keep his head straight. He's never told a living soul about Sam's "punishments", and now Edward knows, now he's going to be in even more trouble. As if he isn't already in enough shit as it is!

Edward curses under his breath, his fists banging against the plaid wool underneath them. He glances at Seth and the young shape-shifter cringes when he sees the look of pure fury that crosses his face. The anger - it's not for him though, Edward's arms are around his shoulders now. He's whispering words against Seth's neck - it sounds like an apology, a promise to make Sam pay for hurting him and making him scared. There's no reason to be scared. Don't be scared.

Seth nods again, and puts his hand over Edward's arm, holding him there. He is scared though. So scared.

Later he will try and figure out if it was the ball of fear in the pit of his stomach, or the sudden rush of adrenaline through his veins, that made him turn his head. Whichever was responsible, Seth doesn't really care - for in that moment, he finds himself kissing Edward.

Somehow his lips are pressed up against Edward's mouth. His lips are cold, like ice, and hard. It's so different from the hot, wet kisses Seth has shared with girls who smell like alcohol and cigarette smoke. For a moment, neither of them move. Just as Seth begins to panic, Edward starts to kiss him back.

They're kissing now - really kissing. Edward's hand has found it's way to the back of Seth's head, and Seth opens his mouth when Edward's tongue runs along his lips. It's wonderful and glorious, and Seth never wants this moment to end. Edward hears his thoughts and groans against his lips. It's a sound so thick with pleasure that it makes the heat that's rising inside Seth spread out along all his limbs; it's like liquid euphoria is running in his veins. He's high; high on Edward and his kisses that taste like ice and sugarcubes.

The kiss starts out tentative; like all their interactions have been, but soon they both fall into the sensation, nothing has ever felt as right as this moment. There's no hesitation anymore, the need is burning through them both - everything is happening so fast, but they don't care. They could both be dead in the morning. They can try to be as brave as they can, but the truth is, tomorrow an army of newborns is coming here intent on bloodshed.

All they have is the moment.

Seth finds himself pushed back into the blanket and Edward is hovering over him. He looks at Seth as if he is seeing him for the first time.

"It's not like this with her," he says, with something that sounds like astonishment in his voice.

Seth's breath is coming fast, quick puffs of silver mist floating into the air above him, and all he can think is that he wants Edward to kiss him again. "Do you love her?" he asks. He thinks he should probably feel jealous, or angry that Edward is thinking of Bella when he is lying here with him, but he can't even bring himself to care. If Edward wanted to be with her, he'd be in the tent instead of out here under the stars and the snow.

Edward doesn't say anything for a moment. Seth stares over Edward's shoulder at the sliver of moon shining in the black sky above him. He doesn't want Edward's face to tell him a truth he doesn't want to see.

"I thought I did," Edward says softly. "I want to keep her safe. I don't want to hurt her again, and all of this is my fault - I have to protect her."

Seth feels a sense of relief as he hears the undercurrent of guilt in Edward's voice.

He doesn't love her.

"She makes me feel nervous," Edward says in a rush before crashing his lips to Seth's again. Seth wonders if Edward has ever kissed Bella with this much passion, this much urgency and need. He'd hurt her for sure, and Seth wonders if it's just the physical disparities between them that Edward was talking about. He can't imagine how awful it would be to have to always hold yourself back, to have that constant fear of accidentally hurting someone.

To not be able to be yourself.

He slips his hand under Edward's shirt and pulls him closer, until their chests are touching. Edward's ice-cold skin is like marble under his hand; even harder than his fantasies had imagined. His body is strong, impenetrable, like the stone walls of a fortress. Seth has never felt safer.

They lie on the blanket, long legs entwined together, and kiss until Seth runs out of breath. The fire inside him is glowing white-hot, burning him alive with pleasure. It races through his veins, making him think of fireworks exploding in the sky. He's never felt anything like this before, and it's glorious.

Edward raises his head. He's looking down at him again, and Seth sees the desire that's making his own blood boil, glowing like fire in Edward's eyes.

"When this is all over..."

Seth cuts him off, and puts his fingers over Edward's lips.

"Don't."

Seth clenches his eyes shut. There is nothing else he would rather hear in all the world than Edward promising him forever. He imagines him saying that he'll leave Bella and let Jake have her, that he'll take care of Sam and all his threats, that despite all the reasons why they can't have a future together he wants Seth to be his.

He can't bear for Edward to make promises he can't keep.

All he wants is just this moment.

Just this moment safe in Edward's arms.

Just this moment to forget he still hasn't told him about Sam's plan.