"When was the last time you were intimate?" Shizune ironically questioned that day.

Hinata felt herself redden.

"This morning," Sasuke mentioned.

Hinata stared at him in shock.

Shizune seemed slightly caught off. She sighed and shook her head, waving him off. "No, I mean, when was the last time you two had sex?"

"This morning," Sasuke repeated.

Hinata's blush deepened. She willed herself to implode. "We're n-not back together. S-Sasuke was just – er..."

Shizune had taken to staring, slack-jawed. After a moment, she seemed to gather her composure. "Right, right, erm, of course."

"He made m-me," Hinata added meekly.

The medic's eyebrows raised. "He forced himself onto you?"

"Well...no."

Shizune returned to her notepad and took to furiously scribbling down notes. Hinata fidgeted madly.

Finally, after a full five minutes, in which Hinata frantically attempted to break her pointer fingers in half, Shizune paused and returned her attention to them. "So...how was it?"

Silence.

"S-Shizune-san!" said Hinata in shock.

"You realize I can't ignore this? It's significant progress." Tsunade's apprentice seemed proud with herself.

"It is not progress!"

"It was good for me," Sasuke mentioned offhandedly.

Shizune nodded approvingly, then turned to Hinata.

Hinata's jaw hung. She was suddenly on the spot. Stammering badly, "I-it was good for me," she squeaked.

Shizune cocked her head to the side. "You're being awfully vague."

"You want – d-details!"

Even Sasuke seemed concerned by this. He stared oddly at Shizune, for once seeming to take his wife's side.

"Go ahead," Shizune yet pursued the matter. "Or do you insist on being difficult?"

Difficult. Another label. Hinata had a sudden daydream of Tsunade's massive fist colliding with her fragile skull. "It was – u-um, i-it was...good. R-really good," she said unhelpfully, in yet a smaller voice. She dared not meet her husband's eyes.

"Aa," Sasuke consented, looking somewhat uncomfortable.

Shizune sighed, and surrendered her quest for details. "Will there be more sex in the future?"

"No!" said Hinata.

Sasuke gave her a skeptical look.

Sweating profusely, the Hyuuga continued to press her pointer fingers together. She was having a panic attack, and consequently, Shizune's undivided attention. "He's just – v-very handsome!" she cried.

"You're very beautiful," Sasuke told her in the midst of the best sex of her life.

Hinata tried to respond, but only managed a collection of bizarre moans.

He smirked. "Isn't our marriage going well?"

But that was only because it wasn't going well.

"You...couldn't...keep this...up?" she managed.

"I can."

She didn't doubt it. "Ano, that's – unnn – not the point."

"So this isn't about sex?"

It was official. He had completely missed the point.

And she'd too lost it somewhere along the way. "Not about sex," she managed, emotions not corresponding with her pleasure. "Not about- ohhhh."

"Tell me again after the sex," he breathed.

She awoke to Sasuke peering down at her. "More...sex?" she asked blearily, causing the corner of his mouth to twitch.

But he was looking not at her face, but her abdomen. "Hello."

"...Hello?"

"I'm your-"

"What are you doing?"

A pause.

"Talking to the baby," Sasuke mentioned.

Her face drained of color. "I'm n-not pregnant," she disagreed.

She stared as his sharingan flickered on and off, his eyes on her stomach. "Yes you are."

She tried to breathe.

"Talking to unborn infants is beneficial to brain function," he muttered.

"Not now," Hinata managed, feeling faint. "I could only be a day or so along."

"I'm going the extra mile," said Sasuke. He kissed her head. "Wife." He paused. "Baby."

Hinata felt as though she was suffocating. She couldn't bring a baby into the world – not when she was feeling so lonely – not with Sasuke! ...but who else? Sasuke...Sasuke...

"W-we're having a baby," she managed.

She slowly looked up, meeting her husband's eyes, and watched him smirk.

"You're not pregnant," he mentioned.

She couldn't determine whether her heart lifted or sank, but she felt blood rush to her face.

"But I'm sure we can amend that-?"

Throwing a pillow at his head, she finally managed her escape, offering him a rude hand gesture as parting.