The Difference Of A Life
By Kraven Ergeist
xxxxx
December 23rd, 2015
Asuka exited the simulator with a smug grin on her face.
"Honestly, I've never seen someone perform so poorly," she smirked. "Better luck next time, Monkey Face!"
Rei waited back as Asuka walked down the hallway. Shinji and Toji got out of their test plugs with dejected looks on their faces.
Just recently, Toji had been added to the official roster. He was still a rookie, but he was now training in the simulator with the rest of the pilots. And someone had proposed a battle of the sexes.
That someone had been Asuka.
"Alright, Shin-man, what are our odds?" Toji had asked his compatriot, as he nervously started his Eva.
"Not good," Shinji had frowned. "Asuka's the best pilot here, and Rei can whip me in a fair fight."
"So, basically, we're screwed?"
"Pretty much."
Toji had cringed. "Man…why can't Kaworu be here?"
Shinji had cringed. "He never showed up today. If we had him on our team, the odds would be much more favorable."
Toji had rolled his eyes. "That's probably why Asuka opted for this battle in the first place."
Needless to say, the battle had not gown well for the boys.
Rei stepped over to the two pilots and offered a supportive smile after the battle.
"You performed well today, Suzuhara."
Toji offered a weak smile. "You don't have to sugar coat it, Ayanami. I now how bad I did."
"Untrue," Rei corrected. "For a pilot with only a few months of training, you performed superbly." Rei threw a smile at the other boy. "And Shinji…maybe, when you advance far enough, you'll be able to last more than three minutes against me?"
Shinji leered. "You just be thankful it was a close range match. If we were playing Sniper King, I would have owned you all."
Rei let a flicker of a smile show through. "As you say, Shinji, as you say."
Toji cringed. "Harsh, man…you gonna take, Shinji?"
Shinji shrugged, smiling. "A little friendly competition never hurts. Especially when some of us can't hit our targets!"
Rei threw Shinji an annoyed look. "Will you never live that down?"
"Not so long as you keep hoarding over me in hand-to-hand."
"Is it my fault you have no coordination whatsoever?"
"Is it my fault you can't aim?"
"Settle down you two," Toji winced. "You're sounding like married couple."
That shut them up good.
xxxxx
The monoliths of SEELE hovered ominously in the dark room. Their numbers became their only identity, as Kaworu stared up at them, an uncaring look in his eyes.
"As you are aware," a voice sounded. It was not quite clear which of the monoliths had spoken. "Your introduction into the ranks of NERV is far ahead of schedule. But even so, the situation is well under control, now that the Commander is right under our very nose."
"We have not discerned whether or not they have grown suspicious of you as of yet," came the voice of another. "Have any of the pilots expressed any suspicions in you?"
"They have not," Kaworu said, nonchalantly. "Though they have made an issue of the margin in their and my sync ratios."
"Irrelevant," another monolith spoke. "As long as they do not suspect your true purpose."
Kaworu inclined his head. "Is there anything then, sirs?"
There was a pause.
"Your interactions with the other Nephilim," another one of them said. "You have been…unusually drawn to her. Explain this to us."
Kaworu couldn't help but smile. "You should know the answer to that, sirs. You made me, after all."
Thought the faces were invisible, Kaworu could practically seen the frown that spread across the board member's faces.
"This is hardly acceptable behavior," the voice said, sternly.
"How so?" Kaworu asked. "There is nothing wrong with simple conversation between us."
"It is not simple conversation," the voice said, "That worries us."
Kaworu smirked. "Why not just come out and say it, Keel? You're worried we might make first contact."
Another pause.
"Yes, Angel," the voice said. "That is our concern."
Kaworu sighed. "Don't worry, sirs. You have nothing to worry about. I have no such plans."
"See to it that you maintain that conviction," the old man said.
The monoliths winked off.
"You cannot change fate sirs," Kaworu said to the darkness. "You are fools if you try."
xxxxx
Asuka, now more than ever, was seriously minding her single status at that very moment.
"Can't you two do that somewhere else?" she growled as she threw Shinji and Rei a dirty look.
They weren't actually doing anything inappropriate. Rei was sitting on the couch with a look of absolute bliss on her face as Shinji sat behind her, massaging her shoulders.
"I would gladly move, Asuka," Rei spoke out, eyes closed. "But that would involve moving. And that is not something I wish to do at the moment."
Asuka was fuming with envy. Why does she get the nice guy who kisses her and gives her back rubs?
Toji emerged from his room with a jersey. "Hey Red, have you seen my hat?"
Asuka didn't even look at him. "No, Monkey Face, I have not seen your hat."
There was an odd relationship between those two. While they passed insults and names back and forth, there was little to no antagonism with it.
Shinji glanced in Toji's direction and chuckled.
"You want to tell him, or should I?" he whispered to Rei.
She opened her eyes and saw what Shinji saw. "Suzuhara, look in the mirror."
There was a pause as he followed her instructions.
"Oh…I knew it was there all along."
Shinji and Rei just sighed.
Toji gave Shinji and Rei a look and smirked as he walked back into the room. "What? No massage for me?"
Shinji smirked back at the other boy. "You want one, you have to fight Rei for it."
Rei gave Toji an unmistakable look that said that if he were to in any way interrupt her session, his life was forfeit.
"Uh…no, never mind," Toji cringed. "Actually, Kaworu and I are headed down to the soccer field."
"We call it football here, dumkopf," Asuka growled.
"Not in Japanese, we don't," Toji shot back.
"America and Japan are the only countries that call it soccer," Asuka argued. "Even in Australia, it's called football."
Toji shrugged. "As long as I'm speaking Japanese, I'm calling it soccer."
Asuka then proceeded to swear at him in German.
She was cut short, however, when Kaworu stepped in through the door.
"Hello everyone," he said, taking off his shoes, as they had all agreed on doing.
He got a mixed bag of return expressions. Asuka regarded him with a huff, her mood already offset by the two lovebirds. Shinji glanced at him, and turned away. They had not really been on speaking terms, and that had been before his "pointers" in the simulator. Toji, who had actually come to look up to him as a pilot and as the only other guy apart from Shinji (who wasn't much of a guy to begin with), gave a friendly wave. Rei, transfixed by Shinji's - she quickly decided - multitalented hands, had failed to even notice his arrival.
"You ready to go?" Toji asked, flexing his legs muscles.
"In a minute," Kaworu stepped through the living area. Glancing at the pair on the couch, he smiled. "You seem to be enjoying yourself, Rei."
Rei's eyes flitted open. "I am."
Despite her confirmation, her enjoyment of the moment had quickly subsided.
Kaworu smiled, before nodding to the boy. "Shinji."
Shinji nodded his head in his direction, but otherwise refused to acknowledge him, keeping his focus on the now unappreciated task at hand.
Kaworu smirked before walking up the short series of steps and disappearing into his room.
Rei turned around in the couch, halting Shinji's work. She was not going to let that boy ruin her enjoyment of her time with Shinji (But wow, that would not be the last time he did this for her if she had any say in it).
"Thank you," she said, sweetly, kissing him on the lips.
"I try," Shinji smiled.
Asuka threw her arms up in aggravation, but decided to hold up in her room rather than rant about it.
She didn't get very far when the alarm by the door sounding, filling the entire suite with a blaring siren.
"An Angel attack?"
xxxxx
"Sonograms just picked it up," Ritsuko said to Misato as they both stepped quickly towards the command center. "It's been tunneling under the south eastern border for some time now. The MAGI predict that it might have even come from the direction of Tokyo-3."
Misato blinked. "The hell? Why did it come from there? Did it think that we were there, and then take a detour?"
Ritsuko shook her head. "We don't know. We can worry about that later, we need to focus on stopping it. We have no ability to intercept it until it breaks the surface."
Misato bit her lip. "Where is it going to breach? Tell me it's not going to emerge down here in the Geo-Front."
Ritsuko frowned. "From our predictions, it's not. But just to be on the safe side, let's keep Toji on standby."
Misato bit her lip. "His first sortie. I don't know about this, Ritsuko. He just hasn't had enough time to prepare for real combat."
Ritsuko shook her head. "With any luck, we won't even have to use him. Besides, he's always been kept on reserve since he got here anyway. It'll be no different from the last time."
Misato rolled her eyes. "Last time we almost had it. I don't want any more mistakes like that."
Ritsuko nodded. "That goes for both of us.
xxxxx
On standby in the Eva cages, possibly minutes before battle, Kaworu's face appeared on Asuka's screen.
Asuka wasn't in the best of moods. "Let me guess. Another private chat?"
"You are as deductive as always, Miss Soryu," Kaworu nodded.
Asuka glared. "I'm not gonna strip for you if that's what you want."
Kaworu shook his head, sighing. "I wish to speak with you about Shinji."
Asuka rolled her eyes. "What's this even about? You've been acting like our last conversation never happened."
Kaworu nodded. "We shouldn't speak of this outside of this medium, because Section Two is constantly watching us. I spoke to you before to let you ponder the idea, and now that a fair amount of time has passed, I think we should speak in more depth on the topic."
Asuka sighed. "Sure, let's talk about it right as we're about to go off into battle, shall we?"
Kaworu shook his head. "After the battle. We'll meet. Rei will be Number One, and Shinji will be Number Two."
Before she could ask what the hell he meant by that, Asuka gawked in surprise as Kaworu's face disappeared. "What is that creep after?"
xxxxx
"Captain!" Ritsuko shouted as she monitored the sonogram. "The Angel's about to breach! I'm transmitting the coordinates now!"
Misato nodded, fiddling with a stray lock of hair. The Commander had given her a stern talk after the last battle. Any more slip-ups and it would be her neck.
"It's emerging into the city!" Maya called from her station. "The MAGI predict that will begin tunneling once it's reach ground zero."
"Pilots!" Misato commanded. "Move to intercept point."
Misato and the rest of the bridge crew watched as the battle unfolded.
The 8th Angel had a stout, oval body, with two large, strong arms and a tail that looked like it was meant for swimming. It dragged its mass out of the hole it had dug and emerged into daylight and the falling snow.
All four Evas were there to meet it. Unit 01 and 00 provided cover fire, while 02 and 04 rushed the thing. Before they could reach it, however, it disappeared back into the hole in the ground.
"Sonogram!" Misato demanded. "Where is that thing?"
Makoto typed furiously. "Projecting the sonogram map to the entry plugs. The pilots will be able to monitor the Angel's movements underground."
Misato flash him a brief smile. "Good."
The tech blushed in response.
"Be careful guys," Misato went on, watching the Angel's movements. "It doesn't look like it's attacking the Geo-Front just yet. I guess for whatever reason, it feels like it has to destroy the Eva's first."
Shinji made a comment as to how comfortable that made him feel.
"Be glad," Misato smiled. "If it was, we'd have you fighting here in the Geo-Front."
The Angel erupted again. Kaworu and Asuka were waiting for it, and they both leapt on top of its body before it could burrow again.
"Ma'am!" Shigeru called. "I'm detecting multiple patterns in the Angel!"
"What?" Misato and Ritsuko yelped at the same time.
No sooner had the exclamation left their lips, when the angel's arms split off from the body.
"What the…?" Ritsuko gaped, as she watched the Angel's two arms literally come to life as though they had minds of their own, and suddenly dig into the ground, just as the Angel had.
Of course… she thought. The Angel of Birth.
"We've got multiple targets!" Misato hollered. "Shinji, Rei, after them! Kaworu and Asuka, you stay on that big one!"
Misato glared frantically at the sonogram, as she watched the three Angel's movements underground. It was bad enough with just one untouchable target, now they had three.
"Captain," Maya's voice sounded. "I'm getting some unusual patterns from all three targets. It looks like…it looks like they're growing."
Sure enough, as the two secondary angels emerged, they had grown in size, and had even developed nubs at their arms, and the bit of arm they had taken off their spawning point were developing into tails. The original Angel's arms were also slowly growing back.
"Captain," Ritsuko frowned. "I don't hesitate to speculate that those two will become fully formed before long. And when that happens, I'd be sure as hell it's going to multiply again. We need to finish off this Angel fast, before it becomes a plague on its own."
Misato bit her lip. Things were getting worse and worse.
The two angels that had emerged from the ground had attacked Kaworu and Asuka. They had fended them off, but had let go of the main body by doing so. Suddenly, three targets were moving around underground.
"This is bad…" Makoto reported. "The targets are growing at an accelerated rate. At this point, they're going to be full grown in less than two minutes!"
Misato bit her lip, tapping her foot.
The Angel's broke the surface again, and the Eva's scattered, taking them on one at a time. The Angel's shells were easy enough to penetrate with the prog knives it seemed, but every time they did, they just retreated underground until they were healed.
"The Angel's arms have reached their full size!" Shigeru announced. "The same pattern is emerging as before in all three Angels. Ma'am…they're going to multiply again!"
Ritsuko clenched a fist. "That means there'll be nine targets! Captain, the pilots won't be able to handle something like that!"
Misato bit her lip. Her mind worked overtime.
"We need options, Captain!"
Misato punched in a command, before called up Shinji's entry plug. "Shinji, I'm sending you a positron rifle. How many shots do you think you can pull of in five seconds?"
"If my target's are this size…" Shinji thought it out, "…I think I can take out three. The only problem is they won't stay out of the ground long enough."
Misato smirked. "I can fix that for you."
She gave the order to send up a positron rifle, before throwing Ritsuko a look.
"Launch Unit 03!"
The techs looked oddly at her, but knew they were too short on time to be questioning orders. The black mech shot up the catapult like a rocket.
Quite suddenly on screen, all three Angel's shot out of the ground almost as fast.
"Shinji! Fire!"
xxxxx
"You wanna run that one by me again, Misato?"
Ritsuko, the Captain, and all five pilots were walking down the hall after the battle took place. Misato, proud of her pilots, decided to treat them to a snack for their efforts.
"It's simple," Misato smiled. "In biology class, our teacher used electrical pulses to drive worms out of the ground. I basically did the same thing."
Ritsuko raised an eyebrow.
"What do you think powers the catapult?" Misato said. "Electricity. And it takes a lot of power to move something the size of an Evangelion that far at that speed. Once it's launched, there's an incredible discharge. Rather than risk a short circuit, the excess power is grounded into the surrounding soil. So, by launching Unit 03, I shot a pulse through the Earth. The Angel's couldn't have enjoyed it too much, so they shot out of the ground as fast as they could."
Ritsuko frowned. "That's risking an awful lot on a hunch Misato."
Misato smiled. "Don't be so mean."
As the pilots conversed among themselves, all Toji could do was sulk.
"You mean to tell me that all they needed me for was for my catapult?"
xxxxx
December 24th, 20015
The day after the last Angel attack, the pilots were celebrating old Chris Cringle's holiday. And once again, Asuka found herself swollen with envy.
"Hey, Rei," Shinji offered. "Want to go somewhere to celebrate the holidays?"
Asuka tuned them out as she seethed. Once again, she confirmed, she hated being single.
"Hey, Red," Toji came in, sipping a drink. "What are you doing for Christmas?"
"We call it St. Niklaus day here, you dolt," Asuka growled. "And it's none of your business what I'm doing."
Toji shrugged it off and headed out. Shinji and Rei had already gone.
Asuka huffed, throwing herself on the couch. All her other friends were doing stuff, and her fellow pilots all had things going on. What had happened to make her life so boring?
That's when Kaworu stepped out of his room.
"Care for an outing?"
Asuka hadn't even known he was there. "Jeez! Warn a girl next time you pop out of nowhere!"
Kaworu walked towards the door, slipping on his coat. "The cafés downtown serve wonderful hot drinks this time of year. Care to join me?"
Asuka pondered her situation. If she weren't to go, what would she do otherwise? And Kaworu was a cool guy, and he knew his way around town, so she wouldn't have to worry about losing him.
"Sure, why not?"
xxxxx
When Kozo Fuyutsuki arrived at work that day, he did not except that his life would soon be changing. Possibly for the worse.
"Sir, the Supreme Commander of NERV would like to see you in his office right away," his secretary said.
Fuyutsuki's eyes widened. "What on earth would Commander Soryu want?"
He found his answer shortly there afterwards.
"…Gendo."
The man in question got up from his desk, straightened his glasses. "Surprised, my old friend?"
Fuyutsuki couldn't stop his jaw from lazing just a touch. "When did you become the Commander of the First Branch?"
Gendo smiled. "Some weeks ago. The old men saw fit to replace that old fossil, Soryu."
"Gendo, I…Commander Ikari," Fuyutsuki stammered. HE didn't know where to begin. "Why haven't I heard from you until now?"
Gendo inclined his head. "You'll understand I've been busy. That's part of the reason you're here."
Fuyustuki relaxed a touch. "When I heard about Yui, I-"
"Don't," Gendo said, suddenly. "I have business matters to discuss with you."
Fuyutsuki frowned. "What is it?"
Gendo smiled again. "I'm in need of Sub Commander. Interested?"
xxxxx
Asuka and Kaworu sipped lightly on their steaming mugs as they sat indoors. The winter frost was ever prevalent outside, and the windows were fogging up with the cold.
"So…" Asuka said after a short amount of time. "Why are we here? We both know this wasn't a social call."
Kaworu smiled. "Would you like it to be?"
Asuka's glare gave him all the encouragement he needed.
"Very well then," Kaworu smiled. "Alright, listen: Number One and Number Two are at the museum just across the street from this café."
Kaworu's comment from before suddenly came to Asuka's mind, as she quickly deducted the meaning of the code names. She glanced out the window. She hadn't even noticed the museum there before.
"You sure about that?"
Kaworu nodded. "I was keeping an eye on them as we came here. Didn't you see them?"
Asuka look sourly at him. "How come you can do all these things that don't seem possible? Communicating on a private line, even from the bridge crew? Appearing and disappearing at a moment's notice? And now spying on someone while holding a conversation all the way here? What gives?"
Kaworu smiled. "Call it talent, call it training, call it what you will…I've always been…gifted, let's say."
Asuka snorted, looking away.
"On to business then?" Kaworu said, detecting that the conversation was over. "I have a plan that's almost guaranteed to work."
Asuka's eyes turned to him. "Yeah? Like…what kind of plan?"
Kaworu smiled. "It will involve separating the two of them for a time. With any luck, Number Two will go straight home. If you encounter him there, you'll have your chance."
Asuka rolled her eyes. "Dumkopf, I've tried putting the moves on him, the guy's like a brick wall!"
Kaworu leered. "Not after what's about to happen today."
xxxxx
After leaving the museum, Shinji and Rei sat down at the small cafeteria by the entrance.
"That was enjoyable," Rei commented. "I have seen many copies of most of those paintings, but they are a far cry from the real thing."
Shinji nodded, leaning back, glad to be off his legs after nearly an hour of standing and walking. "It's one of the reasons I didn't mind moving to this country. Let's go the symphony later, I know it will be amazing."
Rei smiled. "I believe that is a sound idea."
She shivered as someone came in through the door, sending a chill wind that enveloped them both. "I do wish the seats were a bit farther from the door."
Shinji nodded. "I know. Want me to get some hot chocolate? That'll warm you up."
Rei smiled. "Yes please."
"I'll be right back," Shinji said, getting to his feet and standing in line at the register.
Rei bundled her coat and silently wished for an alternative means of warmth.
"You look like you're enjoying yourself," came a familiar sounding voice.
Rei threw a glance in the direction of the voice, and sure enough, Kaworu Nagisa was standing there, smiling.
"As talented as you are at piloting Eva, Nagisa," Rei replied. "Your pickup lines are somewhat lacking."
"I'll keep that in mind," he said, sitting next to her.
Rei glanced at him. While neither Shinji nor herself had expressed it, she was under the impression that she was on a date. It somehow didn't feel appropriate for Kaworu to be there at all.
"So, what did you get him?" Kaworu asked.
"Hmm?" Rei blinked.
"For Christmas," Kaworu clarified. "It's traditional to buy gifts on Christmas."
Rei blinked. She had known about it, and yet…the thought had somehow not crossed her mind. She had never bought gifts for anyone, not even Shinji in the past. Why should she now?
Kaworu shrugged. "Well, I imagine Shinji bought you something. As much as he has to offer elsewhere, he'd have to maximize on what he can do."
Rei frowned. "What are you implying?"
Kaworu smiled. "I think you know. A boy like him has very little to offer. You may think you see something in him. But you don't. You're just fooling yourself."
Rei's piercing glare did not subside. "I do not like where this conversation is going, Nagisa."
"Only because you don't want to admit it to yourself."
Rei shook.
"You look cold," Kaworu said, taking her hand from across the table. He was confident, absolutely confident, that he could win her over.
Rei glared at her own hand, urging it to pull back. She couldn't do it. His touch felt so…warm…
"You can deny me all you want, Rei," Kaworu said. "It won't change the way things are…and it won't change fate."
Rei looked at him. "What do you mean?"
Kaworu smiled, warmly. "We are fated to be together, Rei. Sooner or later, you're going to have to accept it."
Rei denied it. She denied it with every ounce of her soul. But God help it, her body refused to cooperate.
"So ask yourself," Kaworu went on. "Are you going to linger on with this poseur, or are you going to submit to your true feelings."
Rei found that her skin was heating up. Why did he have to be so God damn beautiful!
"Well?" Kaworu said, leaning closer to her.
Rei's breath quickened. What was this heated sensation that was building up inside of her? Why did she suddenly want to close the distance between their bodies?
Why the hell was he so fucking desirable!
She shivered as his hand came up to stroke her face. She became completely oblivious to the rest of the world, and his touch was all that seemed to exist. It dominated every iota of her consciousness. She found herself unable to pull away, as he leaned over across the table and kissed her.
That was it. She couldn't resist it any longer. She had been holding herself back for so long. Her mind had always, always, prevailed over he bodily urges. Every single one of Shinji's advances in the past had been a battle with her feelings. She wanted –desperately wanted – to consummate with him. Yet her mind told her that if they were to do so, it would impair their futures.
Still, he had pursued her. And slowly, the wall had been worn down. It was Kaworu, however, who broke the damn that she had held back for so long.
She kissed him back, fully and completely. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. He was right; she was instinctively drawn to him. He was so passionate, the way he kissed her. He smelled good, tasted good, felt good…
She felt herself become overwhelmed as kissed her, her mind ablaze with fire, her skin tingling, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end.
She was so rapt with passion that she failed to notice the sound of two Styrofoam cups dropping not ten feet away.
xxxxx
Why the hell are you running? He demanded.
He didn't really want to answer that question. He didn't really even want to think about the reason. As far as he knew at that moment in time, there was something he desperately, desperately didn't want to see that he was running from. Maybe if he ran faster, he'd forget it ever happened.
I mustn't run away…Why had he seen what he'd seen? Why had he let himself fall into this trap? Why did he have be in love with someone who clearly desired someone else?
She never kissed him like that. And certainly, she'd never let him put his hands where the other boy had.
I mustn't run away…He was tired. Tired of himself, of Eva, of his life, of the world; he was tired of everything.
And so he ran. He ran from everything he'd ever wanted. The only thing he ever knew. He didn't care about piloting Eva. He didn't care about going to school. He didn't even care for his friends or his family as much as he cared about her.
I mustn't run away…
And so he ran. Away from every hope and dream he'd ever had. Away from the life he'd wanted to share with her. Away from love and from happiness, from the one he believed, the one he had known, would be with him forever.
I mustn't run away…
And so he ran…
xxxxx
Asuka didn't know whether or not to believe the kid or not. Had it not been for his impeccable display of being able to do the seemingly impossible, she would have blown him off entirely. But there was that lingering hope, the possibility that he was right, and she wanted, desperately wanted to believe it.
So she waited at home, watching TV, enjoying her Christmas Eve in silent solitude.
Moments later, Shinji came barreling through the door.
The hell? Asuka thought as he ran past her, not even taking his shoes off, rushing to h is room and slamming the door.
"What the…what did Kaworu do to him?" Asuka pondered as she stepped over to his room. She held her fist up to knock, hesitating. This was the first she had gone into his room.
She knocked.
"Shinji?" Asuka voiced. "Are you okay?"
No reply.
"Shinji?"
When he didn't reply again, she opened the door.
The lights were off and Shinji was on his bed, his music blasting at full volume in his ears. Asuka knew Shinji well enough to know that he only did that when he was frustrated, angry…or sad.
And judging from his tears, she could guess what he was feeling.
Kaworu must have done something horrible… Asuka thought. I've never seen Shinji act like this…
"Hey," she whispered kindly, placing hand on his back.
Shinji flinched but did not respond.
"What happened, Shinji?"
Still no answer.
"Come on, Shinji, tell me," Asuka said. "You can trust-"
She was cut off, however, when Shinji suddenly sat up, grabbed her and kissed her.
xxxxx
A/N: Longest chapter yet. This is a scene that I've wanted to write since beginning the Kaworu story arc. Where it will go and what it will lead to will be a secret for now. Some might see it coming, others might be surprised. Either way, I'm going with it.