A/N: Of three things I'm certain: 1) I have the best readers in the whole world, 300 reviews on my first story? What? You guys rock!; 2) I need to stop writing this when I'm hungry and apparently I have a thing for cheeseburgers; and 3) RMHale is a genius, Rediscovering What Matters is too yummy for words. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Chapter 10 – Screwed

01-10-2010, 08:10 – EPOV

"Dr. Cullen – I know who you are and I saw what you did last night," Emmett called down the hall. I stopped in my tracks. Damn it! I knew it, he saw me last night. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do?

I kept my back to him even though I felt him approach, trying to gain some control over my suddenly pounding heart. Turning around, I looked him in the eye and said, "It was a long time ago Emmett. What I did last night was inappropriate and I apologize. It's just that I hadn't seen Jasper in eight years and didn't remember who he was until after I left yesterday. It was quite a shock to see him here."

Emmett looked at me intently, seemingly cataloging my every expression. "You still have feelings for him…" he noted.

I was just about to shrug him off and tell him that he was crazy when Jasper's sister burst out of the room yelling that her brother was awake. Emmett gave me another long look but turned back to his wife and then moved quickly into Jasper's room.

Shit, shit, shit! He was awake! I stood there torn between the desire to see him and the need to get out of there as fast as possible. Self-preservation won and I rapidly made my way to the elevators and out to the parking lot. I pulled out of the lot and drove home in a total daze, replaying Emmett's last words to me – "You still have feelings for him…"

It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Sure, I cared about what happened to Jasper but it wasn't like I was in love with him or anything. It was one night and it was a long time ago. A lot had happened since then to both of us. Besides, unlike Carlisle I definitely didn't believe in love at first sight. Lust maybe, but not love. There was no way that anyone could fall in love with someone after one night. Of course, it was still hands down the best night of my 34 years on this planet, but I wasn't going to admit that to anyone. Pull yourself together Edward, I thought. He's awake, he's got his family, and he probably has long since forgotten you. Besides, you are in no position to be in anyone's life right now.

I pulled into my apartment complex and grabbed my duffle bag. As I entered the building, I noticed the same elderly man that helped me when I was trying to open the door the previous day with my arms full of stray cat. "Good morning young man, how are you today?"

Mustering up a half-smile, I replied, "Good morning. I'm well and you?"

"Just getting ready to start my day," he said with a grin. "Looks like your day is over?"

"Yep, just getting home," I responded. I walked over to the mail boxes and grabbed yesterday's mail.

"So did you end up keeping the cat?" he asked.

"I did, actually," I noted with an embarrassed grin. "I guess I'm just a sucker."

"I wouldn't say that. I think it shows that you have character. You don't see that too often these days," he remarked. "Well, I'm off. I have a hot date down at the senior center with Henrietta," he said, waggling his bushy eyebrows at me.

"Have a good time," I replied with a smirk, turning to head towards the stairs and my apartment.

"Oh, I will," he offered with a grin of his own.

I climbed the stairs and unlocked the door to my apartment, thankful to be home. Cletus was waiting right in front of the door and meowed plaintively as I walked past him to the kitchen. "What's the matter, buddy?"

The cat ran over to me and began to wind around my ankles, rubbing his head against my leg and purring furiously. I reached down to pick him up and he butted my head with his own. "Did you miss me?"

A meow was the only response I got and I laughed at myself for once again talking out loud to a cat. Had I really sunk so low that my only companion was a stray cat? Gently placing Cletus back on the floor, I looked over at his food and water bowls to see that they were both empty. I refilled them quickly and walked to the laundry room to check the litter box. With relief, I noted that he seemed to have found the box and had made use of it - which hopefully meant that I would not have any surprises to clean up. I undressed in the laundry room, tossing my dirty clothes in the washer and then moved to the master bath to take a shower before crashing for the day. I only had two shifts left this week and then I was off for two days; however, I felt like I had already been working for weeks instead of days.

Once I finished my shower, I dried off and grabbed a pair of clean boxers from my dresser. I went to the windows and looked out at the bleak January skies. It was cold outside, but we hadn't gotten any snow yet although it was forecasted for later in the week. Pulling the black-out shades down, I reset the alarm clock and got into bed trying to push away thoughts of earlier this morning. I tossed and turned until I finally fell into a restless sleep filled with strange and unsettling dreams filled with Jasper's image. In the last dream, I was back in the ER trying to staunch the bleeding in his leg wound when he coded and nothing I did could bring him back. I was screaming in agony in my dream when I woke with a start to find tears on my face and Cletus rubbing against my hand. I wiped the tears from my face with my hand and tried to bring my heart rate back to normal. What did I have to do to get Jasper out of my head, I wondered. I rolled over onto my side and Cletus curled up next to me. Petting the cat slowly, I eventually fell back asleep knowing that I had to be up in just a few hours to start the routine all over again.

01-12-2010, 18:30 – EPOV

Two days later I found myself enjoying my day off by lounging on the couch watching TV. Cletus was nowhere to be found, thoroughly disgusted with me after his vet appointment this morning. Apparently cats needed vaccinations just like kids and after an hour of waiting, I found myself back home with a wallet that was $200 lighter and one pissed off cat. I had picked up some more stuff for him as well – thinking that if anyone from my military days found out that I bought a kitty condo, a cat basket, and designer cat carrier they would've figured me out as a raging homosexual in two seconds. I couldn't resist though – and I felt bad that Cletus was home alone most of the time with nothing to do, which also explained the 10 or more cat toys I had bought.

Grabbing my beer from the coffee table I took a swig from the almost empty bottle and started thinking about what to do for dinner when I heard a knock at the door. I wasn't expecting any deliveries or company, so I was surprised to find Carlisle standing on my doorstep when I looked through the peephole. I unlocked the door and swung it open to let him in.

"Well, this is a surprise," I offered, moving back to allow my brother entrance into my apartment.

"I know - I probably should've called first, huh?" he asked with a grin.

"You don't need to call, Carlisle. It's not like I'm throwing massive parties or anything. I was just sitting on the couch watching TV and thinking about what to order for dinner," I noted, gesturing towards the couch. "Can I get you something to drink? I have water, soda, and beer."

"I'll take a beer thanks," my brother said, plopping down on the couch with a sigh.

I grabbed two beers from the fridge and brought them to the living room. Handing one to Carlisle, I asked, "So to what do I owe the pleasure? I figured you'd be home with Alice and Esme."

"Alice and Esme are at some mother/daughter thing for school with Bella and Vanessa. I was off today and it's too damned cold to golf, so I thought I'd stop by and see your new place and take my baby brother out for dinner," he responded, reaching across to ruffle my hair. "Besides, now I have a place to hide out when the estrogen levels at my house get too elevated," he joked, rolling his eyes at his fate.

"Please, you know you love it," I teased. "I'm not up to going out for dinner, but if you want, we can order some pizza and watch the Blackhawks game?"

"Can we get a large meat lover's pizza?" he asked eagerly. I laughed out loud and looked at him quizzically. "Esme is on a health food kick and I've not been allowed pizza for two months now. I've been craving a fully loaded deep dish from Edwardo's for ages," he offered with a sheepish grin.

"I see how it is, you've only come here to cheat on your diet," I joked. "I suppose I can help a brother out this one time. But you'll owe me one."

"If this pizza is as good as I remember it, I'll owe you more than one. Just remember though, if Esme asks, I had a salad," he said, with a blissful look on his face.

I got up to grab my phone and order the pizza. After placing the order, I walked back into the living room. Grabbing the remote, I changed it to ESPN and we watched as the Blackhawks took on the Ducks. We grumbled at the TV as the Ducks scored on us twice during the first period. It was amazing how quickly we fell back into our old routine from my high school days. Some of my best memories of Carlisle were of times just like these – hanging out, watching a game and bullshitting with each other. I had missed it more than I realized. Twenty minutes later another knock on the door heralded the arrival of the pizza and I watched with glee as Carlisle stuffed his face. I couldn't restrain my laughter and he shot me a glare, mumbling about how one day I would know what it was like to suffer - especially when he told Esme about my eating habits. Just as Carlisle grabbed his second piece, Cletus entered the room sniffing the air hopefully.

"What the hell is that?" Carlisle exclaimed, looking at me in shock.

"That - oh wise one - is a cat," I retorted with a smirk.

"No shit, Edward. I meant, what the hell is that cat doing in here? I didn't know you had a pet?" he said giving the cat a curious look as Cletus tried, nonchalantly, to make his way over to the pizza box.

"That, dear Carlisle, is Cletus," I said, pointing at the cat with my beer bottle. I filled him in on my adventures thus far with the cat and he just shook his head at me.

"You're a sucker," he said. "Don't let Alice find out or she'll have every cat at the shelter she volunteers at in your apartment. We'd be full up ourselves if Esme wasn't allergic. And how the hell did you come up with Cletus for a name?" he asked. I shrugged and he continued to make fun of me a little while longer; however, I noticed him slipping Cletus bits of sausage from his pizza throughout the night.

Two beers and a completely satiated Carlisle and Cletus later, the game was over (we lost –again) and I finally gathered up enough courage to ask about Jasper.

"So, how's Officer Whitlock doing?" I queried.

"Not bad, Edward, not bad. You're making progress grasshopper – only three hours before we settled into shop talk – impressive," he teased, but then a serious expression settled on his face. "I don't know what to do with him, Edward. Physically, he's coming along, but mentally…" he trailed off, looking grim.

"What's going on?" I asked hesitantly, both wanting and not wanting to hear the answer.

"He took the news that he might not regain full function of the leg rather badly and has fallen into a pretty deep depression. I thought he'd come around after a couple of days, but he's isolated himself and refuses to eat. He just sits there in that damn bed all day moping; which, honestly I can't blame him, but if he doesn't move past this he's going to do more harm to himself in the long run. I can't seem to get through to him, no matter what I try. Tomorrow I'm going to threaten him with a feeding tube and psych consult and see if tough love makes a difference," he said with a grimace, the stress evident on his face. Carlisle and I were similar in our approach to our patients. We tended to become attached and vested in their progress, which sometimes added to our stress level. I found that although the military had tried to drill it out of me, it was just an inherent part of my nature.

"I've seen this before, when I was doing my internship in Virginia and with guys who were injured out in the field in Afghanistan and Iraq. It takes some guys a while to come around," I offered, trying not to let my own concern show. "What about his family? They don't look to be the type to let him wallow for long."

"He threw them out. One of the nurses said she heard him screaming at them to leave and never come back. Apparently he said some fairly awful things to get them to go, but they've been calling and checking in on him every day. He thinks his parents went back to Texas, but they are still at his sister's place. I've asked them to give him a few days to come to terms with the situation. I think all their fussing was making him feel worse. I'll bring them back in if he doesn't get with the program in the next day or two," Carlisle said with a worried expression.

"Let me know how the conversation goes tomorrow and if you want, I can give it a try when I come back on shift," I offered, knowing that I was doing this more for myself than for Carlisle's benefit. I couldn't stand the thought of Jasper in pain, emotional or physical, and I would do anything to make it better if I could.

"I will – maybe you can get through to him. Especially since you've probably dealt with a lot worse during your time in the military. Speaking of which, I had been meaning to ask if you would mind checking with some of your rehab contacts back in Virginia on the latest techniques for rehabilitating injuries like Jasper's. Our rehab folks are top notch, but the military is always a step ahead of us when it comes to physical rehabilitation," he noted.

"No problem. I don't really keep in touch with anyone from my time in the military, but they are always willing to help out private and public hospitals," I said.

"Great. Now, it's getting late and my wife is probably wondering where the hell I am," Carlisle said with a smile, getting up from his seat on the couch. "It was great hanging out with you tonight – I've missed this while you were gone," he said, pulling me into a quick hug.

"Me too - we'll have to do this more often," I replied, walking him to the door. "Besides, I wouldn't want you to waste away from lack of junk food," I joked. "This can be your junk food hideout."

"Yeah, yeah. One day you'll have a partner that does the same thing to you and we'll both be screwed," he retorted with a grin. "Good night Edward. Thanks again. I'll text you tomorrow after I talk to Jasper."

"Please do. Good night, Carlisle. Give my love to Alice and Esme and drive carefully," I called, watching as he disappeared down the stairs.

Closing the door, I walked over to the coffee table and picked up the empty beer bottles and the pizza box. It had been good to spend time with my brother and I was glad that we were starting to get back the relationship we'd had before I went to medical school. My thoughts kept coming back to Jasper though and I was deeply worried about his state of mind. I'd seen it too many times when a soldier was injured and couldn't return to duty. They couldn't figure out who they were now that they couldn't do their job. Hell, I'm sure I'd be thinking the same thing if I couldn't be a doctor anymore, but life has to go on and I'd be damned if I let Jasper sink too far into the depression that I knew could claim him. I hoped he'd listen to reason tomorrow when Carlisle gave him what I liked to call the 'Come to Jesus' talk, but if not, I'd go and see him. If anything, maybe the shock of seeing me – if he remembered me that is – would knock some sense into him.

I placed the empties into the recycling bin and tossed the pizza box in the trash. After locking up and turning off the lights, I entered my bedroom. I undressed and got into bed, grabbing my glasses and a book from my nightstand. Within moments, Cletus jumped onto the bed and snuggled in. Petting the cat absentmindedly while I read, I found myself unable to concentrate. After a half hour on the same page, I gave up and turned in, trying to shut off the thoughts of Jasper running through my mind.

01-13-2010, 16:36 - EPOV

I had spent much of my day contacting my former colleagues at the Naval Hospital in Portsmouth and learning about the advances in rehabilitation medicine since my internship days. Not many people knew that the military was on the leading edge of prosthetic, rehabilitation, and emergency medicine. In fact, trauma medicine as we know it today got its start out on the battlefields and emergency medicine techniques were honed in Vietnam. One of the Physiatrists I worked with in Portsmouth, Kevin Smith, was a leader in his field and promised to talk to the Physiatrist assigned to Jasper's case. There had been many advances since my time at the Naval Hospital; however, while Kevin was optimistic that we would be able to get Jasper's leg rehabilitated, he too wasn't able to promise a 100% return of functionality. Kevin e-mailed me some of the latest research on traumatic femoral injuries and physical therapy techniques and I forwarded that information to Carlisle. I had just hit the send button on the e-mail when my iPhone beeped with a new text message.

Spoke with patient – no progress. Can u give it a try? I'm at wits end. – C

I heaved a sigh reading the message. Damn it! Stubborn fool – I couldn't believe that Carlisle's 'Come to Jesus' talk had no effect on him. Quickly I typed in a response to my brother's request.

Will do – my method may include non-Esme approved foods – that OK with you? – E

My brother's joy at eating the pizza last night had given me an idea of what to try with Jasper, but I wouldn't be able to do anything until my lunch hour. When I had read Jasper's chart the other night, there weren't any dietary restrictions so I figured a cheeseburger and fries might just break one Jasper Whitlock down. After four days of nothing, I'd be tackling someone for a cheeseburger and fries, so hopefully it would at least get me in the door. I just hoped he wouldn't throw me out once he figured out who I was.

Whatever works – let me know if the situation changes. – C

I had been hoping that Carlisle would be able to make Jasper see reason, so that I could continue to avoid seeing him. But, if even the threat of a feeding tube and the staff psychiatrist couldn't persuade him, I was damn well going to do everything in my power to get Jasper to see that his world hadn't ended just because he might not be able to be a cop anymore. I could only do my best. I sent another quick text to Carlisle letting him know to check his e-mail and then got ready to go to work. I was eager to get in and get my day started so that I could get to my lunch hour and see Jasper. I was nervous that he would have no idea who I was; however, if that was the case, I would use the fact that I was his ER doctor and that Carlisle was my brother as my in. My only concern was that I wouldn't be able to hold my own emotions in at the sight of a hurting Jasper. I was going to have to push my own feelings aside to make sure he got the help he needed. Gathering my thoughts, I made my way to the bedroom to get ready for my shift.

01-14-10, 07:42 - EPOV

I walked out of the ER and started to make my way up to the SICU to meet with Jasper and Carlisle. I had texted Carlisle at six to let him know that Jasper was ready to meet and discuss his options for rehabilitation. I knew that Carlisle had a surgery scheduled at ten, so I set up the meeting for eight, knowing it would give us plenty of time to talk with Jasper. Hopefully he would be ready to make the decisions he needed to make.

I had spent the time since leaving Jasper's room early this morning on autopilot, trying to tamp down the emotions that were simmering just below the surface and threatening to bubble up and overwhelm me. I had had a shift to finish and succumbing to my feelings would have done my patients and the residents I was supervising no good. I didn't hide it as well as I thought; however, since Angela asked me a few times this morning if I was alright.

I couldn't believe that once Jasper had gotten past the initial shock of seeing me in his room, he had interacted with me like the past 8 years had never existed. The feeling of Jasper in my arms, trusting me with his fears and vulnerabilities was beyond anything I could put into words. Above everything, I felt relief that he trusted me enough to let go and get everything off of his chest that he needed to in order to begin healing. But I also had a feeling like I was finally home. All of my own fears, worries, doubts, and insecurities disappeared the minute I held him in my arms, and in the light of day, I was too terrified to analyze it too closely for fear of what it really meant.

As I arrived on the SICU, I noticed the cafeteria workers preparing to bring breakfast to the patients. I made my way over to the cart and found Jasper's tray, letting the worker know I would be taking it in. As I opened the door to Jasper's room, I found him still sleeping. I moved portable table near his bed and place his breakfast upon it, then stood there just staring at the beautiful man in front of me for a few moments. He looked more like the eighteen-year-old I remembered when he was sleeping peacefully, his golden curls falling over his eyes as they must have done when he was just a boy. All of the strain that had appeared on his face during our discussion in the wee hours of the morning seemed to have disappeared and I was happy that he had hopefully gotten some much needed rest. Hating to wake him, but knowing that Carlisle was due to arrive at any moment, I moved to the window and opened the curtain. Looking out, I noticed that it had snowed overnight, but that the sun was shining brightly. The light from the sun must have woken Jasper and I heard his voice call out softly, "Edward, is that you?"

"Good morning, Jasper. It's me – here as promised. Carlisle is due to arrive any moment and I've brought your breakfast," I said, turning towards him with a smile.

He peered over at me sleepily, trying to adjust his eyes to the light and move himself into a more comfortable position. I walked over to his bed and asked, "Is it okay if I help you sit up a little? It'll be easier for you to eat that way."

"Thank you – all this layin' down is driving me crazy," he responded with a small grin. I looked into his eyes and saw a bit of the twinkle I remembered and beamed back my own smile. I brought the head of the bed up and helped move him into a more upright position. I moved the tray table over his bed and unveiled his breakfast.

"Let's see – reconstituted eggs, an English muffin, some juice – looks good to me," I teased.

"Yeah, right. You can say that because you get to leave and go to McDonald's," he retorted, but began to eat despite his obvious disdain. He finished in record time and I was about to ask if he wanted me to call down for a second tray when Carlisle entered the room.

"Good morning, Jasper. How are you doing today?" he asked, giving me a smile of welcome and looking shocked to see Jasper stuffing his mouth.

"Much better, Carlisle, much better," he said, winking at me. "Edward, can you take this away? I'm done."

"Of course," I responded, moving the tray table to the side of the room and pulling up one of the visitor chairs next to the bed. "Do you want me to stay or did you want to talk to Carlisle in private?" I asked, double-checking that he was still okay with me being there.

"Stay, please?" he said, motioning for me to sit next to him. I took a seat and he reached out his hand. Grabbing it in mine, I squeezed it in a show of support and gave him another smile. I looked over at Carlisle and caught his glance at our clasped hands and the look that said we would definitely be discussing this later.

"So doc," Jasper started, looking over at Carlisle, "I think I'm done sulkin' and Edward says I need to come up with a plan on how to get my leg better."

Carlisle began to go over Jasper's options and discussed the recovery rates associated with each. After a lengthy discussion on the pros and cons of each option, Jasper decided that the in-patient services provided at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago (RIC) were the best choice, given that he lived alone and didn't want to rely on Rosalie or Emmett for assistance in daily tasks. Throughout the conversation, whenever Jasper was nervous or anxious he would look to me for reassurance or squeeze my hand as if to make sure I was still there. It was difficult for me to try to be both friend and doctor, so I let go of my role as a physician and just settled into making sure that my friend Jasper was taking it all in. Once the decision had been made, Carlisle began to talk about the timeline and when they would make the transfer. I could tell that Jasper was beginning to tire, and threw my brother a look to warn him to start winding the conversation down.

"I'm glad that you made this decision, Jasper. I think that you will be surprised at the results that RIC can get help you achieve. We'll talk more about the timeline and what to expect tomorrow – for now I want you to get some rest to help your body heal," Carlisle stated, understanding my non-verbal hints. "Were you still hungry, we can get you another tray if you'd like?" he asked.

"I'm good for now, thanks. Too tired to eat anyway," Jasper replied sleepily.

"OK – We'll let you rest until lunch then," Carlisle noted, as Jasper used the controls to move the head of the bed back into a more reclined position. "Edward – if I could see you in my office when you are done here?"

Shit. I was in for it, but I didn't care. Jasper was going to get the help he needed and I couldn't care less if Carlisle approved of my methods or not. "I'll be there in a minute," I responded, and waited until he left to see if Jasper was really okay with everything. "How are you doing?" I asked him, looking at his face carefully to gage his reaction to the conversation.

"Better, really. Thank you for being here," he said. "Are you headin' home now? You've got to be tired too."

"I am, after I talk to Carlisle, but I'm back on shift at six," I replied.

"Will you come back to see me? I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to…" he trailed off, looking out the window and avoiding my gaze.

"There's nothing I'd like more," I said, waiting until he turned back towards me and catching his gaze so that he could see the truth of my statement in my eyes. "I'll stop back in around 5:30 and I'll bring you some dinner, ok?"

"Ok – thanks again," he whispered, and drifted off to sleep.

Walking out of his room, I made my way to Carlisle's office. Knocking on the door, I heard him call for me to enter and I poked my head around the door. "You still need to see me?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes and motioned for me to sit in the chair in front of his desk. I took a seat and just stared back at him, not volunteering any information whatsoever. I wasn't technically crossing any lines having a friendship with Jasper – he wasn't my patient anymore, but I could tell Carlisle was curious.

"What the hell was that?" he asked.

"What was what?" I responded, playing dumb.

"Come on, Edward. I'm not an idiot. You know him," he stated as if it was a fact and not a question.

"Yes," I said, sighing. "But I didn't remember who he was until after I went home that first day. Once I figured it out, it didn't matter, because you were his doctor, not me."

"True, but that doesn't explain what I just saw in there," he said.

"What did you see, Carlisle?" I asked, not understanding what he was trying to say.

"What did I see? I saw two men who obviously care deeply about each other, Edward. I saw one man, who I was about to admit to the psych ward yesterday, look like a completely different person today. I saw a brother who hasn't truly smiled in years look happy. That's what I saw in there," he retorted.

"Yes, I care about him, but only as friends," I replied, as Carlisle snorted.

"Friends my ass," he jibed.

"Fine, what do you want me to say, Carlisle?" I burst out loudly. "You want me to tell you that I'm in love with him? That I only spent one night with him 8 years ago but have never felt the way that he makes me feel? Is that what you want to know?" I yelled in frustration.

"Is that what you feel?" he asked quietly.

I took a deep breath to calm myself and then replied shakily, "I don't know. There's something there, but I'm not ready to deal with it. I've spent too long keeping my emotions locked up and I can't handle having them all flying at me now. Hell, I've been a freaking robot for 8 years, what the hell do I know about love? We've both lived very different lives – he just needs a friend right now and that's all I can offer," I said quietly, holding my head in my hands.

"I think you have a hell of a lot more to offer than you give yourself credit for, Edward," Carlisle noted. "The reason I was so worried about you going into the Navy was not that I didn't think that you could do the job, it was that I know you. You feel things so deeply, even if you don't admit it. You may think that you locked all of your feelings away, but they are right there, boiling under your skin. If you don't let it all out soon, I'm afraid of what will happen," he warned.

"I know," I cried, feeling the tears start to well in my eyes, "but I don't know how to let all of these feelings come to the surface without going insane."

"Let me help you. I'm your brother, you can talk to me. Nothing you can say will make me care about you less," he said, getting up and sitting in the chair next to me. He took me in his arms and like Jasper the night before, I just broke. All of the worries and horrors of the past 8 years came pouring out in incomprehensible sobs and he just held me through it all, murmuring words of reassurance. "I love you, Edward, Esme loves you. We're here for you no matter what."

After what seemed like hours, I finally pulled myself together and moved out of Carlisle's embrace. Reaching for the Kleenex on his desk, I cleaned myself up and laughed at the sight of Carlisle's tear-stained shirt.

"Jasper did that to me last night," I said, pointing out the mess I'd made of his shirt. "I told him that I'd had worse, but I don't know if that applies in your case."

Carlisle just laughed and said, "Trust me, I've had worse. Now, how are you feeling?"

I sighed, "Better – I didn't realize how much I'd been holding in."

"I'm just happy that you could finally let some of it go. Do you think it would help if you talked to someone? A lot of folks come back and need some help adjusting to civilian life," he noted, squeezing my shoulder. "There's no shame in admitting you need some help."

"I know, and I'd be a hypocrite if I said I didn't need it. Do you know someone good?" I asked.

"I do, and I'll get you the information later. In the meantime, why don't you go home and get some rest," he replied.

"I will – thanks, Carlisle," I said, giving him another hug.

"Thank you for letting me be there for you. Now go – I'll check in with you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," I said, getting up and heading towards the door. "Carlisle?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"I love you too."

A/N: As always, your feedback is greatly appreciated!