"That's it, Mal!" Jayne radioed in sounding very pleased with himself. "We're ready to go. Get your asses down here."
Mal ended his exaggerated laughter to interrupt his own story. "I'm terribly sorry, Janey, Forks. It's best the wifey and I be off. We've got a shipment of priceless heads of cattle due before long and our indentures aren't authorized to accept them. You know how it is. Duty calls!"
"Indeed!" The man nicknamed Forks agreed. "Nice to have met good honest folk. Best of luck to you and the missus."
Zoe took Mal's crooked elbow and the couple sauntered off, chins high in the air. The few eyes that turned their way held no suspicion of their true intentions for departing the party hall.
Mal turned his head to face Zoe. "Jayne," He said addressing his absent crewmate. "Great job down there. No one up here ever suspected a thing. We're on our way. Lead us down the rabbit hole."
Kasumi, invisible under stealth cloak, returned to the vault, her planned rendezvous point with Shepard. She rubbed her fingers together, feeling a little nervous that the moment had finally arrived. She had dreamed of avenging Keiji for so long.
"Coast is clear." She radioed Shepard.
Shepard quickly left the main room and entered through the door leading to the vault's entrance. He whistled as he took in the surroundings.
"That's some heavy security." He said. His exploring eyes also found the statue of Saren that he and Kasumi had gifted to Hock before entering the party. He glared at the statue. "That wang ba dan's eyes follow me wherever I go." Shepard noted.
"That 'wang ba dan' was your ticket in the door and now…" Kasumi activated her omni-tool and pressed a few holo buttons. A drawer beneath Saren's statue slid open to reveal Shepard's armor, Kasumi's own special hooded suit, and their weaponry.
"Alright." She said. "Get dressed while I take out the security cams. Hock will only stay oblivious for so long."
Shepard gladly stripped out of his three piece suit and down to his under armor. He suited up in the armor as quickly as he could, requiring Kasumi's help with a few pieces. She had taken out the cameras within seconds and her veil was first item of clothing she removed.
"God, that thing was itchy." She cast it aside.
Shepard turned around to allow Kasumi privacy as she undressed the rest of the way and donned her familiar suit. The two grabbed their weaponry and Kasumi went to work on the security panels.
"Are you sure we have everything we need to bypass all this?" Shepard wondered aloud.
"Absolutely." Kasumi assured him.
True to her word, the vault's security was breeched without trouble and Shepard and Kasumi found themselves descending the elevator. The door opened to reveal the immense space that was the vault.
"This is… Incredible." Shepard gaped. "He's only one man but he owns a museum."
"Thousands of historically important artifacts, but only one truly priceless item: Keiji's greybox." Kasumi said.
"How will we find it amid so many things?"
"Actually, it emits a certain electrical frequency, a signature. My omni-tool will scan the room, read the signature, and lead us right to the greybox."
She activated the scanner and the two heard a rhythmic beeping which quickened as they neared their target. They passed a statue of a rachni queen, a vintage Kassa Locust, and a mummy from a far gone ancient Earth civilization. The scanner beeped furiously as they approached a small, unremarkable-looking device. Amid all of the obvious treasures, it looked out of place to Shepard, but Kasumi picked it up and cradled it with reverence. "Oh, Keiji."
"So, that's what we came for?" Shepard asked.
"Yes," Kasumi confirmed. "Thank you for accompanying me, Shep. This means the world to me."
"You're welcome, but we're not out yet. Let's…" Shepard was interrupted by a phenomenally loud and destructive explosion on the far wall. He and Kasumi cursed aloud, their ears ringing. They instinctively ducked low, Kasumi clutching the greybox with white knuckles. Each immediately drew their weapons and aimed for the direction of the wall, though dust and debris inhibited their vision. They saw the silhouettes of three figures cross the threshold. They couldn't make out much, but they saw they were armed. Shepard and Kasumi kept their eyes glued to the figures as well as their gun barrels.
As the smoke cleared, the confusion set in. Shepard and Kasumi recognized two of the faces, accompanied by an unfamiliar man wearing the black and white guard's body armor. The three intruders had expected to encounter Hock's guards, but instead found familiar faces as well. The five exchanged looks of bewilderment.
Shepard stared at the rancher and his wife. "You from the party!?"
Mal stared at Mr. Gunn and his companion. "You from the party?!"
"Hmpf!" Kasumi thought out loud. "Well, that was unexpected."
No one dropped their guard as they tried to figure out who was friend and who was foe. As the group mused aloud, Donovan Hock walked in the front entrance of the vault with Inara on his arm. All five guns and faces turned toward him immediately, each person agitated by the confusion. Hock raised his hands to show he was unarmed, though it was a mockery considering the guards flanking him on either side held pistols.
"I was having a smashing time upstairs, but I didn't realize the true fun was happening down here." His eyes caught Kasumi's, now unveiled, and he recognized her. "Ah, Kasumi! I should have known it was you." Every agitated pair of hands turned a gun toward her.
"I'm sure you've been anticipating my visit for some time." She said through a scowl.
Inara surveyed the crowd as well to find the wealthy rancher's hat missing and his mustache hanging off his face. "Mal! You promised not to interfere this time!" She scolded him. All guns turned from Kasumi to Mal.
"Don't blame me!" Mal looked around for an excuse. "Zoe was in on it from the start."
"Real mature, Sir." Zoe said. All guns turned from Mal to Zoe.
"I ain't the one that hatched this scheme." Zoe told the gun barrels. "As the second in command, anything I say has to be approved by the Cap'n, the shan-yi de bai-chi standing right there."
"Wait." Shepard said. "You're not his wife?" All guns turned from Zoe to Shepard.
"I don't think that's important right now, Shepard." Kasumi stated through gritted teeth.
"Shepard!" Inara exclaimed. "I knew that was you!" All guns turned from the former Mr. Gunn to Inara. She just folded her arms annoyed. "Why did you lie to me?"
"I… Ah…" Shepard fumbled as he glanced at Kasumi.
"Well, now I have a name to accompany the eyes that stared at my ass all night." Zoe said.
"How do you know Pearl Eye, here?" Mal demanded of Inara.
"Seriously, Shep." Kasumi seconded. "You know Hock's companion?"
Shepard looked up and whistled innocently.
"He was a client." Inara waved off as though it were no big deal. "And you, Donovan." She turned to face Hock. "How do you know Shepard's companion? This… Kasumi?"
All guns pointed back to Donovan. He answered with a malicious smile. "Through an old friend."
Kasumi glowered at him and readied her weapon.
Jayne put two fingers in his mouth to whistle loudly and all guns turned to him. "What the hell are we standing around here playing who's who for? So it's a small 'verse after all. Who the hell cares who those two are?" He pointed to Shepard and Kasumi with his gun barrel.
Hock looked at the five before him with a confused expression. "These are not all your accomplices, Kasumi?"
Again, Jayne spoke up. "We're not with them! We just came to raid your treasure box of a few odds and ends. I don't know who the hell they are!"
"Bi zui chun dan!" Mal cussed and hit Jayne upside the head.
"Ah," Hock said, a slight smile playing on his lips. "An honest thief. And you, Kasumi… You're here for my greybox, no doubt?"
"It's not yours, you xie-e de hundan!" Kasumi shouted. "It's all that remains of Keiji and it belongs to me!"
"Then you are all my adversaries, not my guests." Hock said.
Jayne spoke up again. "Great. Glad we figured that out!" He turned to Kasumi. "You take yours, we'll take ours, and we'll be outta here quicker'n you can spit!"
The Serenity crew and the Normandy crew stared at each other a second, shrugged, and all pointed guns back to Hock in a display of unification against him.
"Everyone, find cover!" Shepard shouted as he unleashed the first bullet and the group of new allies dispersed immediately.
Hock threw himself into an outrage, pushing Inara out of the way forcefully. "Guards! Fire!"
Everyone found cover quickly, ducking behind displays of various sculptures and vintage weaponry before the guards sprayed the vault with bullets.
"Shoot the thieves, not the treasures!" Hock shouted over the noise.
Aboard the Serenity, Kaylee and Simon had completed their task and reintegrated with the rest of the crew who were just starting a new round of their favorite fruit-themed card game while they awaited further instruction.
"How's the party goin'?" Wash asked, dealing a deck of cards to include Kaylee and Simon in the hand.
"According to Mal, dull." Simon said.
"Art, wine, sophistication… Those things are not really his strong suit. He must be dreadfully bored." Shepherd looked at the five cards in his hand, trying to hide his disapproval.
"I wish I coulda gone." Kaylee said with a dreamy look in her eye. "The last time I went to one of Inara's parties, I had the best time. Got to chat with handsome men about trace compression blocks and other engine talk." She sighed. "The fresh food, the pretty dresses… And it turns out Captain Tight Pants is actually a good dancer. I'll bet there's dancing."
Mal tore from behind the display case, yipping and hollering as he let bullets fly toward the Eclipse guard before him.
"Hell, yeah!" He exclaimed when he found cover again. "My kinda party after all!"
Another guard surprised him from behind, but Mal blocked his punch firmly with his forearm.
He smiled at the guard's surprise.
"You wanna dance, darlin'?" He quickly grabbed the guard's wrist to twist it around to his back. His enemy shrieked in pain.
"I imagine Jayne's bored as well." Simon commented. "I insisted he harm as few people as possible, so I armed him with chloroform bombs. He's probably looking forward to the looting, however."
Jayne closed the gap between him and the guard who had asked him about his hangover earlier. The guard's eyes widened as Jayne approached.
"You're not Swinford." He said confused.
"My name's Jayne mama-ta ma de Cobb!" Jayne yelled as he headbutted the guard. The man fell instantly. "Whoo!" Jayne yelled and shoved more valuables into his loot bag. "I'm gonna buy me a whole moon and populate it with buxom ladies and be the KING!"
"Speaking of slinky dresses…" Wash started.
"No one is speaking of slinky dresses, dear pilot." Shepherd eyed him over his splayed cards.
"I'm speaking of slinky dresses." Wash said. "Hugging the curves of a warrior goddess… Mm! I couldn't keep my eyes off of her." Wash said equally as dreamily as Kaylee.
"I'm surprised you approved of the ensemble. I hope other men can keep their eyes off of her." Simon said.
"Damn straight! I'll kick their asses!" Wash said. "Ah, who'm I kiddin'?" His dreamy look returned. "Zoe will kick their asses for me."
Zoe lifted her leg to kick the guard in the face, but the fabric restricted her movement.
"Gai-si de lifu!" She cussed aloud.
The guard faltered at the sight of her long leg kicking up in the high-slitted dress.
Well, now I have to knock you out, you fan-chang.
She resorted to punching him square on the nose instead, which worked equally as well.
At the sight of Zoe felling his last standing guard, Hock let out a frustrated growl.
"Get up you bunch of mu-gou duibuqi erzi! Finish them!" Hock shouted.
Most of the guards didn't move. The few that did struggled just to lift their heads. In the meantime, Shepard and Kasumi bolted for the make-shift exit. Mal and Zoe trailed close behind, followed lastly by Jayne who hurriedly gathered a few more treasures amid their insistent pleas. Hock's hands clenched into fists and he bolted back out the vault's entrance.
Inara, who had taken up shelter behind the solid concrete base of a colossal statue, uncovered her ears and looked from entrance to fabricated exit several times. After the tour of Donovan's estate yesterday, she had an idea of where he was headed and feared for the Serenity crew and Shepard and his imposter companion. She quickly followed the five out the hole in the wall to warn Mal.