Authoress' Notes: Congratufreakinglations, me. I think this is the fastest I've ever wrote a chapter, clocking in at a little over a day. LUCKY YOU. Also, I'm almost certain, near the end, some guys might be a freaked out. Just deal with it, lol.

He Said, She Said

Chapter 10: Changing the Undeniable

Lucas approached Ness, still holding the violated pillow. Oh, boy. She was gonna give him an earful he soon wouldn't forget.

"So... I guess you had a lot of fun with this, huh? Any particular reason why?"

"It was an accident," he countered, actually telling the truth. "Didn't mean for it to happen."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. I seriously thought it was mine."

She turned her head, smiling and raising an eyebrow. Crap, maybe that was telling a bit too much.

"Don't you think grabbing it off my bed would've been a big hint?"

Not when you're hormonally and sexually challenged, just wanting to plow something until it was deader than being dead on dead day with a side of being dead. She wouldn't understand, women never did. Did she really think he would purposely leave himself on something he knew was hers?

"I don't know."

Oh, real smooth. What a great answer. You deserve a medal.

Shaking her head, she dropped the pillow and came closer. "Ness, I'm really offended."

And now the lecture would start. He prepared for the worse.

Pit smirked. Now he had him. Take a taste of own medicine! And after Lucas was done with him, then, he'd, like, maybe... uh, add to the insult by stealing his... hat! Yeah, that'd get him riled, for sure! And maybe he could even—Huh? Now, what was going on over there?

Why wasn't Lucas kicking the snot out of him or, better yet, slapping him silly with her pillow? She was holding his chin to make him look up to her, speaking softly. He couldn't quite hear and reading her lips was next to impossible. All he caught was her asking about the pillow. She then smiled, continuing with something like, "This is how I feel", or something. What?

His confusion turned to shock as she pulled Ness into a kiss. His eyes nearly popped out of his head. What the—?!

They were...

They were...

They were...!

...They were sucking faces! That's what it was called, right? He wasn't sure. That's what Ike said it was. There was probably a better term, but that one sounded kinky, so he went with it.

But back to the matter at hand, they were doing... it. As their kiss continued, Ness tried to wrap his arms around Lucas, but she pulled away before he could. Still smiling, she took his hands and switched places with him, sitting on his bed while he stood before her. Due to height difference, this was much more comfortable. It was then she let the kissing continue, now letting Ness hold her as she did the same to him.

Oh, what luck! This was the ultimate form of blackmail! Of all the times he decided to eavesdrop, it had to be on something like this! And him without a camera. He really should start carrying one around.

He'd known from the start those two had something going on between them. They were both... uh, what was the word? Psyche? Psycho? Psychiatric? He didn't know, but what he did know was they were quite a hot item from this display.

And what about those other guys? Weren't there some other people besides Ness who were after Lucas? Imagine their faces when they find out about this! But something told him spilling the beans without proof would only result in a massive beat down and another visit to Dr. Mario's therapy sessions. Oh, well. He'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

A grin found its way to Pit's face as things started to heat up, what with them starting to make noise and scope out each other with their hands. This was just gold, pure and simple. And for some reason, he found himself enjoying this way more than he should've. Perhaps he was expecting them to move on to the next step?

...

...Wait, no! He didn't want that! What was wrong with him?!

He mentally slapped himself, groaning in disgust at how wrong all of this was. Lucas being a girl, her having the hots for Ness, them making out, him watching and liking it. It was a torture in itself to have to deal with this so personally, so why, oh why was he so compelled to watch?!

Ness knew he heard something and stopped, perking up. Pit cursed. Apparently, his grunting had been a bit too loud.

Grinning, Lucas looked at him dopily. "...Hey, what's wrong?"

"...I think I heard something."

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, O Great Palutena, don't let them find him, crap, crap, crap, crap...

She listened for something, frowning when nothing graced her ears. "...Well, I don't hear anything."

That didn't matter. If he thought he heard something, it was something worth worrying about. He sat up attentively, like Pikachu did when listening for him to come around a corner so he could trip him with his tail and say it was an accident.

Irritated, Lucas hung over him, arms around his neck. "It was probably someone falling downstairs again. Maybe Donkey Kong or something. He never was all that good at descending a staircase."

He remained alert. "Lucas, did you lock the door?"

"Huh?" She said it so stupidly, like she no longer understood a word he said.

"Did you... lock... the door?" he repeated, sternly this time.

"I don't know. Who cares?"

"I do. I don't wanna do this if you didn't even lock the freaking door."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter."

"So, you want someone to walk in on us? Is that right?"

"I'll get it when we're done."

"Who knows how long that'll be?"

Her smile grew wider. "Exactly."

He looked at her like she was insane. Did he smell hedonism?

"...Maybe we can do this later."

"Aw, no! Ness! That was nothing! We barely got stated!"

"No, I'm not gonna busted over you not being careful," He pulled away. And thus, the smooching ended.

Pit wasn't sure what was worse; feeling disappointed they stopped just when it was getting good, or feeling relieved they weren't going all the way.

"Noooooooooo..." she whined. "Ness, you're killing the mooood..."

"It's already dead," he answered, still looking around.

One could never be too paranoid when doing something like this behind closed doors; he'd seen it on TV a million times, and he was not about to follow the example of getting caught. If they were gonna keep having these little secret affairs, they were gonna be kept secret.

...It was then he realized the impulsiveness of that makeout session. Lucas may've started it, but the true horror came from him being unable to resist it. There was no restraint, no willpower, no control over his response. If Lucas wanted it, well, by all means, he had to comply. No questions asked. He shuddered, feeling like he just woke up from a trance of self-indulgence he kinda wished he didn't wake up from. What was going on here? Lucas simply stared at him, annoyed at his vagueness.

"Fine, then!" she finally spat, going back to her bed. "That was so unsatisfying, nothing like last night!"

Last night?! This wasn't their first time doing this?! Pit sputtered from shock, slapping both hands over his mouth a little too late to stop his outburst.

Ness scowled. Okay, he knew he heard something that time. He looked over to Lucas. "Lucas, don't tell me you didn't hear that..."

"No, I didn't and stop trying to change the subject," she huffed, pouting.

Fine, whatever. She was mad now, so there was no point in trying to reason with her until she cooled off. After a long awkward silence, he shook his head and approached their in-door bathroom. "I'm taking a shower."

She scoffed. "You took one this morning!"

"I know," he flatly responded, closing the door.

Inside, he frowned. How'd she know that? Little stalker!

"Oooooooh!" Lucas fumed, tightening her fists.

She angrily punched the mattress, but quickly withdrew with a small yelp. A hand was brought to her side as she shuddered, hissing and wincing. Oh, great. Ness had made her so ill, she'd gone and pulled something. It started as a small pang, but quickly escalated as she nursed it. Maybe it was a spasm or something? Yeah, that's what it felt like. Boy, she'd give him a piece of her mind once he got out.

Leaning over, she grabbed Ness' pillow and slowly laid down with it, sighing. The pulled muscle, spasm, or whatever it was already had her glued to the bed, anyway. Pit couldn't see her at that point, but she wasn't moving anymore. Had she gone to sleep? If so, this would be the perfect chance to escape. But what if she wasn't? What if she sat straight up the second he made himself known? To leave, or not to leave; that was the question. Choosing the former would be a real gamble, but Lucas was smarter than Ness and she would happen upon him if he didn't get out soon. Well, time to try his luck.

Opening the closet door, he cautiously inched out and tip-toed over to the room door. And he was wrong about Lucas dozing off. Still pouting, she stared off into space while he carefully turned the knob. Never had he felt doing that could be so loud. The door creaking as he opened it was even worse. The blonde suddenly flinched from her spasm, which sent the angel into a panic. Already scot-free, he dashed outside, slamming the door with no regard for her musings.

Startled, she jolted up, looking around in confusion. Did someone close a door? She could've sworn she heard something close... Was it Ness? No, he was still in the shower. ...Maybe he did hear something. Now she was paranoid.

Her fears were confirmed as someone gently knocked on the door.

"...C-come in?" she timidly spoke, something she hadn't done in a long, long time.

The door opened to reveal a smiling Peach. "Hi, Lukey."

"Oh." She smiled. "Uh, hi, Peach. What're you doing in here?"

The princess looked around cautiously, making Lucas nervous all over again. "Hey, uh, is Ness in here anywhere?"

"He's taking a shower."

"Again? Zelda said he wasted almost all the water in the downstairs bathroom this morning..." She waved it off. "Oh, whatever. Listen, think you can come with me for a few minutes?"

"Uh, why?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just another crash course in the Art of Girls 101."

"Oh, sure. I can—" She hissed upon sitting up, forgetting her pain. "Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow..."

"Oh, dear! Lucas, what's wrong?"

"...I think I might've pulled something," she responded, rubbing her side. "It really hurts when I move now. Right about here..."

Peach went over, relating. "Oh, poor thing. It must be a cramp. You get them sometimes when it's... that time."

"Of the month?" she finished.

"Yes, exactly."

"Well, how do I make it go away...?"

"I'll tell you later." She tugged on an arm. "Right now, we need to get to Sam's room, all right?"

"But I—"

"Now, now, we can't dilly-dally, can we?" She slowly helped her up, Lucas still wincing and whining from the pain. "We'll deal with it when we get there. Come on."

Whatever it was the girls needed to talk to her about, it must've been pretty important for Peach to yank her along like that. And while she was in so much pain, too? Very strange.

As she was led to Samus' room, she couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. The princess seemed way too happy over this session, her motives vague and slightly sinister. She couldn't put her finger on it, but the closer they got to the room, the more Lucas wanted to break away and run off as fast she could. ...Well, if she could. This cramp seriously had to go.

"Okay, we're here!" she announced, as if Lucas didn't already know that. Opening the door, she let her in first, slowly closing it behind her. She had the sinking feeling the next time it opened, she would never be the same again.

The other girls were already in there, of course, most looking equally suspicious. Seeing her uneasiness, they all smiled insanely hard. Add that to Peach locking the door and the whole ordeal was about to make her go mad.

The pink princess went over to Samus and whispered something. They both giggled and the latter went to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Peach returned.

"Lucas, you said you were having some cramps, so why don't you take a seat on the bed over here?"

She did as told, albeit reluctantly. Samus came back with a hot washcloth. "Here, put this where it hurts."

Again, she reluctantly obeyed, wincing as she did. Once situated, Jigglypuff came over and began massaging through the cloth. Lucas protested to the resulting pain at first, but it soon went away, replaced by nice, soothing pleasure. Okay, maybe they weren't up to anything, after all.

Peach gently held her shoulders. "Lucas, seeing as you're quickly becoming a young lady, I think it's time we update your look. Face it, you can barely squeeze into that old wardrobe of yours, can you?"

She turned up her mouth in thought, just now noticing how small her attire was. A little embarrassed, she tugged on her short shorts. "Well, I guess so... Maybe..."

"Good! Also, while we're on the subject..." She clasped her hands together, oh-so-girlishly. "Lukie, what's your favorite color? And be honest, now."

"Well..." She rubbed her head in deep thought, then blushed. "...I've always been... a little partial to pink..."

"Ah ha!" Peach shouted, startling her. "I knew it! You totally strike me as a pink type of girl! See, I told you guys!"

Zelda scoffed. "Well, excuuuuse me, princess."

Everyone frowned at that until Samus cleared her throat. "Peach, you know not every girl is madly in love with pink like you are. I actually like blue much better."

"Whatever." She blew her off, going back to Lucas. "Anywho, dear, you think you could do us all a big favor and close your eyes?"

Lucas felt a little uncertain about this, but the collection of creepy smiles weren't making things any better. Sighing, she went with and it obeyed Peach's request. Now blind, her ears perked at footsteps, scattered giggles, and someone shushing them. A pair of hands took hers and put something in them. It felt warm, snuggly, and soft, making Lucas' fingers desperately try to decipher the object. The suspense was killing her.

"Okay," giggled Peach, "open your eyes!"

The other blonde had never been so happy to see. Instantly, her eyes looked upon the item she was holding. It looked like some sort of... blanket? Holding it up so she could see better, Lucas discovered it was a shirt. It looked exactly like the one she wore, expect it was yellow and pink and big enough to fit her properly.

She gasped. "Oh, wow! I-is this for me?!"

"Why, yes it is," said Zelda. "I don't know about those men, but women need to be properly treated and taken care of. That's why we banded together to make this for you."

"And we wanted it to be something you could get accustomed to, so we made it similar to the stuff you used to be able to wear," added Nana.

"I chose the secondary color," bragged Peach. "Something told me you had a weak spot for pink like I do.

"Oh, and you dropped something down there," pointed out Samus.

Lucas looked down to see she was right. Bending over, she rose with a pair of jean shorts suitably bigger than her current ones. "New shorts, too?!"

("Yeah,") nodded Jigglypuff, still massaging. ("Those daisy dukes you got on don't cut it anymore. If Peach measured correctly, they should reach your knees.")

Peach gave her a dirty look. "What do you mean, 'if'?"

("Well, I'm not one to judge, but you did sort of have your head in the clouds while you were doing them...")

She tightened a fist. "I'll show head in the clouds, you—"

"Girls, girls..." soothed Zelda, soothing her. "You can fight like uncivilized skanks later. Right now, we've more matters to attend to."

Lucas' eyes sparkled. "...Can I... Can I try them on now?! Please, please, pretty please?!"

"Sure," grinned Samus, almost too hard. "Go on with your bad self."

Lucas took that to heart and pranced into the bathroom to try out her new outfit. As soon as the door closed, everyone dropped their corn-fed smiles, sighing in relief.

Peach glared at Samus. "'Go on with your bad self'? Really, Sam, we're trying to make her feel comfortable, not bust a move."

"Well, I had to say something. Cut me a break. This is hard."

"And you, Jiggly. What was with that crack? That was totally uncalled for. You, ma'am, are copping a 'tude with me."

She angrily puffed up. ("I'm not! I just don't think I should be in here! I can't identify to anything you guys're saying, so why bother?")

"Because you're a lady, and Lucas is gonna need all the womanly support she can get to help her on the long, rocky road to womanhood."

("Then why isn't Ivysaur in here?")

"She belongs to Red, therefore, he must at least be in the vicinity for her to attend. And I'm not about to have a man, let alone that pervert, around here."

Jigglypuff continued pouting. ("But that's so stupid!")

Nana tugged on Peach's dress. "Uh, Peach? When I start puberty, is it gonna be this painful and confusing?"

"Oh, no. It'll be much smoother, since we all know your gender." She made a face. "...You are a girl, right?"

She gasped. "Of course I am!"

"Okay, okay. As long as you know..."

As she left, Nana took a small peek in her underpants. She thought this was what girls had. Maybe she could ask Peach later...

"Ah, she's gonna hate us in a minute," said Samus, hanging around the door. "I think she's almost done in there."

"I know," responded Peach. "Let's all try our best to make this as painless as we can."

("Easier said than done,") scoffed Jigglypuff.

Seconds later, Lucas popped out of the restroom, grinning from ear-to-ear at her new clothes. "So? How do I look?"

"Perfect!" said Peach through a cheesy grin. "Like a real classy gal! Isn't that right, everybody? Isn't she lovely?"

She was answered by halfhearted grins and scattered claps. This made Lucas blush.

"And now that we can see they fit you perfectly, why don't you, say, uh... take them off?" suggested Peach.

"W-what?!"

She grinned painfully. "What? ...Is there a problem?"

She blushed. "Yes, there's a problem! ...I... I don't wanna take them off! I just got them on! Besides, I can't be... exposed... out here... In front of all of you..."

"Oh, why not? We all have the same thing."

"But..." She hugged her arms. "It's... it's weird... and I don't..."

"Now, now... I promise, there's nothing wrong with it. Just lift it up... Like this..." She smiled and gingerly pulled it up, causing Lucas to squeal.

"W-wait, no! I don't... This isn't—!"

Too late. Peach had already yanked it up, wrapping it around behind her neck. Lucas looked half-ready to cry, trying to cover herself. The girls looked her up and down in interest, which only succeeded in making her more nervous. If she didn't know any better, she'd say they were trying to judge something.

Peach seemed interested, but a little disappointed, like what she saw was good, but she didn't like it. Zelda seemed a little shocked and baffled, but brushed it off casually. Samus turned her nose up, refusing to get another eyeful; what she saw the first time was enough. Nana appeared the same way, while Jigglypuff ignored her altogether.

"...Can I put my shirt back down now?" she asked, tired of so many different gazes.

Peach grinned seedily. "...Lucas, I have a question for you."

"...What?"

She handed her some sort of underwear. "Tell me what you think this is and where it should go."

Lucas took it and looked the thing a hundred times over. What was this thing? It looked a little like a jock strap, but she never had any experience with one, so... She put it up to her head as if it was a headband, but Peach smiled oddly, which must've meant that was wrong.

Was it a... neckbrace? No. Did it go around your stomach? No. Did it go in your pants? ...No? Starting to feel stupid, Lucas' face contorted to where she looked ready to cry.

Panicking, Peach quickly took it from her, smiling nervously. "Uh, Lucas, it's called a training bra."

"Training... bra?" She turned her head. "How am I supposed to train with it? Stretch it?"

"No, no. It's what your wear until you're ready for a real bra."

"Well, what exactly do bras... do?"

At a loss for words, Peach looked to Zelda and Samus for help, but the two simply disregarded her, not wanting any part of this. She scowled. Lazy good-for-nothing—

"They help keep... those perky," she responded, grimacing. "Trust me, it's in your best interest you wear this."

Lucas was lost. "...Those?"

Sighing, Peach directed her hands to what she was talking about. Apparently, using the correct name for "those" was taboo.

"Oh, those! Yeah, I noticed them, too!" Lucas smiled as if she finally got the idea, then frowned. "What are those?"

The princess facepalmed as Samus and Zelda giggled at her struggle. "Those are your... girly parts."

"But I thought my girly parts were..."

"In your pants. Yes, they are, but you've got more than that."

"How come I didn't have these before?"

"Because they grow on you."

"...Do you have any?"

"Why, of course! We all do!"

Nana cleared her throat as Jigglypuff looked on in annoyance.

Peach made a face. "...Nana's will come in soon enough, but I don't think Jigglypuff clarifies... Now, turn around and let me help you put it on."

"Put it on?" she echoed.

"Yes. The training bra? You'll need to start wearing this from now on."

"Oh, uh... okay?" That didn't seem too bad, so she did as told. Getting it on, she looked back. "...Uh, it's a little itchy."

"Oh, it won't be when you get use to it." She unhinged her shirt and smoothed it out, turning Lucas to face everyone else. "There! Good as new! Aw, you're so pretty!"

Again, the others applauded and again, Lucas blushed.

"Aw, thank you, everybody. You really didn't have to do this... Really."

"Of course we did. What kind of girls would we be if we didn't look out for each other? Bad ones, that's what," said Zelda.

For some reason, that seemed to fly over the blonde's head as she suddenly got excited. "Ooh, ooh! I'll catch up with you guys later! I'm gonna go show everyone else right now!"

She was about to bolt out the door, forgetting it was locked, when Peach pulled her back. "Wait, wait. Now, hold on a minute. We're not quite done yet."

"Huh?" She beamed. "You mean, there's another surprise?!"

"Uh, sort of." She brought her over to sit on the bed again. At this, Lucas noticed everyone else getting up and going to fetch something. That was odd... "Darling, is there something else you see we have that you don't?"

Watching them scatter, Lucas looked through the crowd of girls over and over again, but could come up with nothing. Baffled, she shrugged.

"Why, accessories!" she answered, pointing to her earrings. Samus and Zelda pointed to theirs, Nana revealing her stubs by taking off her hood. Meanwhile, Jigglypuff rolled her eyes.

"Oh... I see. So, what's that got to do with me?"

As if to answer her question, Zelda transformed into Sheik and came up brandishing several needles. Nana got some washcloths and towels from the bathroom, while Jigglypuff brought a bowl of hot water, Peach pulling out some chocolate. Lucas didn't like the look of this.

"...W-wait, what's going on?"

A firm grip on her hand from Peach startled her. "Nothing, dear. Here, have some chocolate."

"Ooh!" It was almost like a sedative. Lucas quickly partook of a candy bar she offered, forgetting all about the other girls slowly easing up on her.

"Is it good?"

She happily nodded. "Mm-hmmm!"

Lucas was too busy with her chocolate coma to notice Peach looking over her and motioning to Sheik. She nodded back and reached over to Nana, who put some rubbing alcohol on a cloth and handed it to her. Jigglypuff draped a towel over Lucas' shoulders and Samus sat on the other side of her, holding her other arm as firm as Peach.

"Mmmm... That was good..." Finished with the treat, Lucas immediately noticed more on bed. Smiling, she asked, "Can I have some more?"

"In a minute, Luke. Now, I've got one more thing to ask you to do for me."

"What?"

"I want you to close your eyes and think happy thoughts."

"Uh, why?"

"Um, to achieve inner peace with your new self," quickly lied Samus.

Peach smiled. Ooh, good call. "Yes, exactly. Think of it as meditation, but the fast version. And I'll give you chocolate while you do so."

"Okay!" Close your eyes and get chocolate?! She'd be a fool to resist! She did as told, searching her mind for something happy. Now, what could she think about? What could she think about...?

...

"So... I guess you had a lot of fun with this, huh? Any particular reason why?" she remembered asking.

"It was an accident," answered Ness, looking like a deer in the headlights. "Didn't mean for it to happen."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. I seriously thought it was mine." Was he... blushing?

It took all her strength not to laugh at that. "Don't you think grabbing it off my bed would've been a big hint?"

He made a variation of disgruntled faces until he came up with the amazing answer of, "I don't know."

She smirked at the conversation, now off in la-la land. It was exactly what Peach wanted.

"Okay, now," she whispered.

Sheik crept up and tugged on Lucas' earlobe, dabbing it with alcohol and poising a scorching hot needle over it.

"Now us do us a favor and try not to miss this time," she continued. "Remember what happened during practice?"

Sheik rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I got it."

"I don't think I can watch," whispered Nana, covering her eyes.

("I sure can,") smirked Jigglypuff.

Lucas was still daydreaming, in the midst of thinking about how silly and paranoid Ness was being earlier. She'd calmed down by this point, so it was pretty funny now. It just didn't seem like him to be so uptight, but that's what made it hilarious. She had to wonder why he was so—

Well, she'd have to wonder about that later, as she was torn from her thoughts by a horrible, stinging pain in her ear. Without hesitation, her eyes snapped open, she threw back her head and screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Authoress' Notes: Sheesh, those girls are brutal. Maybe that's why Brawl won't allow more than half a dozen or so.