Wow, it's been a while. Okay, so I'm REALLY sorry it took me this long to write this little bit. In my defense, I honestly have little to no defense. So. Again, sorry. And I'm also sorry that this chapter sucks. I know, I know. And yes, there is long pesterlogs included, because yeah. I like them.
Anyways, here it is!
John Egbert was bored. So bored.
He didn't know how long he'd been stuck in the supply closet, but whatever the time; it was much too long to be healthy.
How he wished CG would respond to his messages! Now that he could put a face to the name, somehow, though it was slightly more awkward (he had always imagined his online pal was a boy, so to find out otherwise was rather jarring. Especially when the girl was not only ridiculously pretty, but a troll. At least Kanaya was scary like some trolls he knew!) than it had been before, there was a new thrill in talking to the internet buddy that hadn't been there before. It was almost like he was getting to know the person behind the name all over again!
But alas, CG hadn't come back or responded to his pestering, so he forced himself to give the girl some space. He didn't want her to be angry at him later, if they happened to meet again in person.
"I SUGGEST YOU COME BACK HERE WITH HASTE IF YOU DON'T WISH FOR ME TO SMITE THEE WITH THE UTMOST FURY MY SMALL VESSEL FOR A BODY CAN WITHOLD FOR MORE THAN A FEW MEESELY MINUTES!" Someone boomed outside in the halls, the echo of footfalls creeping around the door of the storage closet.
Oh shit. It's Karkat.
"JUST BECAUSE ONE OF YOUR INSUFFERABLE ACQUAINTANCES HAS DECIDED TO SPONTANEOUSLY AND RATHER RUDELY PESTER ME ON THE INTERNET DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE BEEN REDEEMED OR FORGOTTEN ABOUT. HAUL YOUR MUTATED BUTTOX BACK HERE BEFORE YOU TRIGGER MORE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE."
John wasn't really sure what the troll was yelling about, but nevertheless, as the footsteps became louder, he shrunk back against the wall, cowering behind the thinnest mop the world could possibly offer him.
The door to the supply closet burst open, the outline of a distressingly familiar silhouette blocking the doorway and his only chance of escape, head slightly bent and arm extended as if the troll was staring at something he was holding in his hand. From the faint glow, John assumed it to be a phone.
He flinched when the head turned up to look at him, trying and failing to sink further behind his mop.
"Oh, excuse my rudeness. I mistook you for someone else—a troll, in fact. Might you have seen him? He and I are identical besides the permanent loathing forever scrawled across his dark complexion." There was a pause, "Also, I don't think you are supposed to be within proximity of the education building, human. But on with my question, please."
"I—uh—Karkat?"
"Yes, he is the one I seek."
"He . . . er . . . I don't know where he is. Sorry." He curled into a protectively ball, eyes trained nervously on the troll profile still lingering within the doorframe, sure he was about to be beat bloody. Oh gosh, with no one else around and his exit blocked, he could be killed and no one would be any the wiser for days! John was too young to die! He still had pranks to pull and friends (Dave) to beat at Mario Cart!
But to his surprise, all he heard was a sigh before the strange Karkat-look-alike left, fingers still tapping away at his phone as he disappeared.
Or, well, John thought he'd disappeared. Come to find out, with a furious shriek and a howling war cry, Egbert was distinctly proved wrong as he heard what he swore was a vengeful battle to the death raging right outside the door, growling and yelping taking turns ringing loudly through the air, causing the frightened boy to shudder and press his back ever more firmly into the wall behind him.
Terrified, he slowly made his way to the door, shaking as another ringing screech filled the air, sweating bullets as he peeked around the corner to see what the hell was going on. He paled when he found the Karkat-look-alike killing the real Karkat, who was clawing at the tiled floor as if for mercy.
John Egbert very quickly fled back into the storage closet and proceeded to begin barricading the door.
He supposed the nice thing about having Karkat and Not-Karkat battling to the death outside of the room he had currently locked himself in was the fact that they were loud enough to alert to him when they were still there. The two trolls never shut up, even if it was only to yell insults or laugh victoriously as one gained the upper hand.
Honestly, after ten minutes, John was back to square one: boredom.
So, obviously like any bored boy he began pestering his friends. CG wasn't on, he already knew, so he quickly went to the person most likely to find something entertaining for him to think on.
-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]-
EB: hi rose!
TT: Hello, John.
TT: Might I inquire as to why you are so randomly and so jovially contacting me? Not that I mind, of course, but I was led to believe you usually chat with Dave when you can.
EB: what? a guy can't talk to one of his gal pals these days?
TT: . . .
EB: ok, you caught me
EB: i am suuuuuuuuper bored
EB: i'm also sort of locked in a closet with some trolls having a death match outside, so there's not really a whole lot else to do right now
TT: I see. Pray tell, where exactly are you?
EB: i just said
EB: i'm locked in a closet
TT: But where is this closet you are locked in?
EB: uh
EB: well
EB: don't yell at me
TT: I would never dream of it.
EB: i'm sort of locked inside the school. but it wasn't my fault! i was going to use the bathroom, and then i ran into karkat and things just got really, REALLY crazy! And now i'm stuck inside the school
EB: . . . . with karkat.
EB: that's right rose, your friend is in mortal danger here. some other guy who looked a lot like him showed up and is handing him his ass outside.
EB: it's weird
TT: You're locked inside the high school with Karkat Vantas right now?
EB: yes
TT: Interesting. What does this Karkat-imposter currently beating the young troll down look like? I'd like more specification than "like Karkat," if you don't mind.
EB: er, i think he was wearing a red sweater.
TT: Go on.
EB: um, and his horns were really nubby. like karkat's.
EB: he also talked a LOT. and the things he said sounded really boring and didn't make a lot of sense to me at the time. he talked like you, but he used more word and was definitely more boring
TT: Wonderful. I've always wanted to be compared to a boring chatterbox.
EB: hehe, i bet!
EB: anyway, do you know any ways i could get out of this?
TT: What makes you think I would know anything of the sort?
EB: aw, come on! you're super smart and strategic, rose! i bet you already have like five different plans i could use to get out of here, don't you?
TT: Perhaps.
EB: knew it!
TT: Can you leave the closet?
EB: well it's locked from the inside if that's what you mean. i can leave, but no one else can get in unless they break down the door and everything piled up behind it.
TT: Good. Leave the closet, John.
EB: uh
EB: see, rose, don't think i'm doubting you or anything, because i'm not, but there's a slight problem with that.
EB: i'm too scared to move.
TT: That is a problem.
EB: yeah.
TT: When was the last time you tried to get up and move around?
EB: i don't know, i haven't really been keeping time.
EB: probably a few minutes, though
TT: I suggest you try again. If you can, I'm going to ask you to carefully peek to locate where the battling trolls are, assuming you don't already know, and then make a break for it in the opposite direction. Was the Karkat imposter there with you two earlier?
EB: now that i think about it, he wasn't!
EB: i guess that means he must have found a way in by himself! wow, rose, you're so smart!
EB: see, i told you that you could figure something out for me!
TT: You're welcome. Proceed with caution, please.
EB: aye aye, captain!
-ectoBiologist [EB] has changed their status to idle-
-ectoBiologist [EB] has changed their status to online-
EB: rose
EB: rose, we have a problem
TT: What is it?
EB: they're chasing me and i'm pretty sure they're about to catch me.
TT: Oh my. Were you quiet when locating them?
EB: i thought so! i guess i wasn't quiet enougn;ng[qgvn
TT: John?
EB: ncni cf[qv
EB: nnvnoeevneruitrh
TT: I'm assuming they caught you then.
EB:qrgnuhelpaernigqa
TT: You poor soul. I will make sure to tell Dad Egbert that his son fought long and hard for his life. You will be remembered, John. And your legacy shall be great.
TT: Especially your funeral.
-ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]-
TT: Goodbye, and farewell.
Damn, this kid screeched like a ****ing banshee. One would have thought Karkat had torn his pink, fleshy arm off the way he shrieked and struggled in the troll's hold, as if his very touch was burning him.
"Would you stay still?" the Cancer hissed, ignoring Kankri, who was standing slightly off to the side, jabbering on about "human rights" and how Karkat was violating all of them by looking at John or some shit like that. Luckily, he had practice at tuning his dancestor out, and he did just that, mindful to keep his claws from piercing his captive's soft skin as he did.
"Let go of me!" John yelled, squirming fiercely.
"Would you hold on for one ****ing second? Gog, it's like you think the building is bombed!"
That made Egbert slow in his struggles, and the troll tilted his head slightly so he could glance at the confusion twisting the other's face over his shoulder, "How would you know that? Didn't they close down the school for a terrorist attack?"
That was a surprisingly good point. So good, in fact, that Karkat was at a loss for how to respond.
Maybe they should move their little hate-meet outside.
"Let's just get out of this useless damn building," he all but growled, dragging a stumbling John after him, Kankri cruelly following them as they made their ways to the entrance doors. "You said you came in through here?"
"This is where the friendly humans unlocked the building for me, yes."
Asshole. "I'm going to bite you if they don't open."
Kankri probably responded, but Karkat had once again tuned him out, and with a glower to the doors and a whimpered protest from John, who was now trying to shake his arm loose of his companion's hold, he pushed the doors open and stepped out into that sweet and very much missed sunlight, even when it made his eyes sting like a swarm of buzzbeasts had suddenly decided to attack his vulnerable ocular orbs.
"Hey, there's my dad!" John beamed, waving with his free hand and somehow managing to look like a complete and utter doofus when he did. "Hi, Dad!"
Well, shit. There went Karkat's extra time to try to woo his kismesis-to-be.
"Son, where have you been this whole time?" a very professional, very average-looking man demanded, striding up to the trio with his suit without wrinkle and his snazzy hat snug on his head. Out of the corner of his eye, Karkat thought he saw Kankri eyeing the man's outfit appreciatively, but as soon as he saw it he promptly turned his head and deleted the horrifying image of Kankri in a similar suit from his mind.
"Uh, potty break?" John replied sheepishly.
The "Dad" human did not look pleased by this answer. Karkat was forced to drop his grip on John's arm as the "Dad" human snatched the boy by the shoulders and began steering him away to the parking lot, muttering about how "worried he was" and how "irresponsible it was of him to do that" and other lusus-like things.
"I don't mind to pry," Kankri started once they were alone, making his descendant tense immediately, "But why were you chasing that boy?"
"None of your ****ing business."
Kankri gave him a look, but received only a snarl in return.