Chapter Ten

I sat and ate my dinner, motioning for Des to eat his as well. Apparently he's in love. Huh, whatever. As I ate I became aware of the most beautiful silver colour in my peripheral vision, I turned and was immediately star-struck by a long beard and the most wonderful eyes! It was the most beautiful person I've ever seen! I was immediately over-come with devotion and knelt before the wondrous paragon of magnificence professing my undying love, branding the crinkles of the delicate skin into my memory.

Then I realised I was on my knees in front of Dumbledore singing 'As the World Falls Down' while the whole school laughed. Sarah. Oh damn! I turned and saw her run out of the room, she's been getting a work out recently with all that running, so I vanished and appeared in front of her.

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"Sarah, I-" He didn't know quite what to say, this was just so wrong on so many levels.

"It's all right Jareth. I'm not homophobic; I think you and the Headmaster make a lovely couple." Sarah was trying desperately not to laugh at the look on his face; his jaw had almost hit the floor!

"I'm not-" He started. She carried on ignoring him.

"It's alright, you don't have to keep denying it. It explains quite a lot actually, your clothes, makeup, the wiseman..."

"Excuse me?!"

"I'm surprised I didn't see it before! You changed clothes about five times while I was running the Labyrinth, and your hair-" Jareth strode forward and shook her by the shoulders.

"I. Am. Not. Gay." Sarah frowned at him.

"There is no need to take that attitude! Homosexuality is perfectly natural! You obviously are but... well, apparently denial isn't just a river in Egypt." Jareth flung his hands up and gave a strangled cry. "See? You're so over-dramatic! You were made for Drag! You know, I didn't see a single girl outside the ballroom and junkyard but there were all those Goblins, Fieries, Dwarves, promiscuous or what! Is this thing with Dumbledore lasting? I think you and Hoggle would look great together. Yeah I can see it! The whole thing with the kiss and the bog! It makes so much sense!"

"Sarah!"

"Yes, Jareth?"

"I'm not gay, I was under the influence of some sort of spell-" He began calmly.

"Ah, love. That's what they all say."

"I'm serious!" He cried. She burst out laughing at the earnest look on his face.

He stood, frozen and confused, watching her roll about on the floor laughing. His expression darkened.

"Sarah, the… incident at lunch today wouldn't have anything to do with you, would it?" Sarah looked up still grinning, ignoring his tone and burst out laughing again. Before she could blink she was pressed up against the wall by an extremely irate Monarch.

"Des! Put her down!" Ginny ran into the room, pulling on Des's arm. "It was my idea!" She abruptly joined Sarah on the wall, courtesy of another Royal personage.

"Jareth! Leave her alone!" Sarah gasped. They both started to flail around, kicking blindly. Jareth waved his hand and they froze.

"You are going to explain exactly what you thought you were doing, Sarah first." The two fae stepped back and gestured at Sarah.

"Err, we were still angry at you and thought it was a harmless prank that would hit you in the Royal egos and get a reaction from you?" It came out as a sort of question.

"It worked." Jareth growled.

"Your turn." Des pointed to Ginny.

"I thought you were going to kill me and that this would get Jareth to convince Sarah he loves her before she did something drastic under the impression you brought her here to get revenge and turn Toby into a chicken."

"Goblin." Jareth corrected.

"Same brain capacity." She shot back flippantly but forgot what she was going to say next when she caught sight of what was coming through the door, her jaw hit the floor.

A Goblin with a purple headband around his forehead wearing a lycra bodysuit and sparkly legwarmers strutted in followed by three chickens. And a stereo.

"Please, God! Burn out my eyes!" Sarah groaned trying to wipe the image of a fat, warty, bulbous, ugly Goblin threatening to fall out of it's skin tight clothes. It looked highly affronted and pulled out a rhinestone microphone and started to do an impression of a tortured jellyfish as, out of nowhere, music started to play. Everyone looked accusingly at Jareth who shook his head wildly.

"This is not my fault!" The chickens started to do an odd sort of shuffling motion seeming to cluck what sounded vaguely like:

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy-
Because I'm easy come,easy go,
A little high, little low,
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me,
To me

Very, very out of tune, time and harmony. Members, evidently, of the Goblin King's Choir.

"My ears are bleeding!" Ginny groaned.

"I think I'll leave now." Jareth pulled out a crystal looking nauseous.

"I'll come with you." Des added quickly.

"Hey! What about us?" Sarah demanded.

"This is now, officially our revenge. Enjoy!" They bowed dramatically, disappearing in a cloud of glitter.

"We let it wear off, didn't we? Next time you're going to fall in love with Filch and Mrs. Norris!" Ginny shouted after them.

The Goblin burst into song with a wiggle of its hips which caused a… disturbing fact about the body suit to be revealed. It wasn't a bodysuit. It was a leotard the same shade as its skin.


Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead,
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away-
Mama ooo,
Didn't mean to make you cry-
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters-

It wasn't really singing, either. It was more like cross between a puking baby and a crow with tonsillitis. The song was so bad it actually stank. Oh wait, no that's the Goblin


Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Body's aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-I've got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-
Mama ooo- (any way the wind blows)
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish Id never been born at all-
The chickens then joined in.

"This is torture!" Sarah screamed over the cacophany.

"Help, help! We're going deaf!" The Goblin did a hip thrust. "And blind. Hopefully really, really soon!"

I see a little silhouette of a man,
Scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Galileo, galileo,
Galileo galileo
Galileo figaro-magnifico-
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
He's just a poor boy from a poor family-
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-
Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-let him go-
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No, no, no, no, no, no, no-
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go-
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me-

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-
Oh baby-cant do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters to me,

Any way the wind blows....

The Goblin finished by being lifted up by the chickens, Jazz hands above his head.

"Taster session!" It cried looking hopefully at the two girls.

"Well done, you'll go far." Sarah croaked, far into the bog. It beamed and vanished.

"You know I mentioned crying? It seems like a really good idea right now." Ginny said tiredly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Jareth and Des arrived about five minutes later wearing smug smiles.

"I hate you." Sarah scowled. Jareth put a hand to his heart.

"You wound me precious."

"We've decided to forgive your little stunt, by the way. We figured you'd been punished enough." Des stifled a laugh.

"So good of you." Ginny thanked sarcastically. "I told you. We tried to stop it but it was too late."

"Yes." Des drawled. "You tried."

"Sorry." Sarah mumbled. Jareth glared at her.

"Thank you."

"Oh, Des? By the way, what do you rule?" Sarah asked politely. Des looked at her suspiciously but answered all the same.

"Gremlins, why?"

"Would it work if I said, 'I wish the Gremlin King would take Ginny away for the next week to talk about their issues'? Not that I'm sick of you of course, Ginny, but you and Des need to talk." Des grinned and daggers shot out of Ginny's eyes.

"Thank you!"

"Hang on!" Ginny held up her hand. "That means you have to spend the rest of the week with Jareth, Sarah." Sarah scowled.

"Fine, but you'd better come back married!" Des just got more delighted but Ginny's jaw hit the floor, and then they were gone.

"Well, precious, looks like we're all alone." Jareth leant towards her with a lascivious grin, so she kneed him in the Royal Ego.

That was fun to write! The song (Bohemian Rhapsody) was courtesy of KillerTeddyBear who is just fantastic, I'll be sticking with Jareth and Sarah and write the next week. Sorry for the delay but my Brother has come back from holiday and I'm not allowed to use his laptop. What a pity.

LyssaOneiroi