************
A/N: Thank you so much for your patience.
Here's hoping you consider it well rewarded!
Please forgive the slight backtracking here, but since Tim's harrowing ordeal would not be complete without a glimpse into things from his perspective; we're going back through the events as he experienced them and what his mind remembers and moving forward from there.
Freezing!
Wet!
PAIN! Oh my God, everything's on fire!
What the hell happened?
OH MY GOD IT HURTS! EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE!
"Easy, son. Relax. We've got you now."
As physical excruciating pain began to rip through him and take over every one of his nerve sensors, an overload waiting to suck him under again, he remembered one thing:
"Gibbs.".
"Called him. He's on the way...."
Ah, the welcoming arms of blackness!
"Tim!"
"Probie!"
"McGee!"
"Timothy!
"Voices! Why do those voices pull at me! What do they want from me? Why am I so cold? Why do I hurt everywhere? Feels like my whole body's on fire! Go away and leave me here! It hurts too much to move! Please leave alone!
"You find the bastard that did this to Timothy!"
Ducky? What's Ducky doing here? I don't want come out, Ducky! Wait! He sounds so pissed! Why? What's….?
"You can bet on it, Ducky!"
Tony? He's sounds just as pissed as Ducky! GO AWAY! Don't want anyone mad at me! Leave me be! I don't understand. Go away!
"You don't have permission to die, you hear me, McGee?"
Boss? Oh, God! Have to answer the boss! He sounds pissed. Boss, don't make me come out. It hurts too much to move! What if I can't get back! I don't want to, but I have to open my eyes for the Boss. Have to answer him
"Ha! Works every time."
Tony? He's really here? Is Gibbs really here, too? Need to know.
"Boss?"
"Yeah, McGee. I'm right here. You're gonna be okay, you hear me? You don't have permission not to be."
"Got it... Boss. Sorry. Screwed…up…'gain"
Why is Gibbs' voice so different? Can't keep my eyes open. Thank God, the darkness is right here waiting for me. Here I am, let me back in!
***********
Where am I?
Where is all this pain coming from?
Everything hurts!
What the hell happened?
Voices!
"...core temp is 31 degrees...".
"...2 gunshot wounds, 1 to the back; 1 to the chest...".
"...Angiography..."
"...X-rays..."
"...muscle damage..."
"...extremely lucky..."
"...Full recovery..."
Who are they talking about? Where is all this pain coming from? What the hell happened? Where did that pain-free darkness go? There it is, hey, wait for me! Let me back in! Ah! Thank you!
Everything hurts.
What the hell happened?
Where am I?
Feels like a bed.
What the hell…?
Jethro, I'm happy to report that Timothy's condition is as good as can be expected under the circumstances. He is, as the Doctor stated, very lucky, indeed. With a lot of rest and careful steps in the right direction, he should make a full recovery."
Duck?! And he's talking to Gibbs? About me? Boy, McGee, fall asleep and you miss everything! Thank God for Ducky. Can always count on the truth from him.
"Good."
"Jethro, you cannot blame yourself. I know you. That is exactly what you are doing right about now."
Wait, Gibbs thinks this is his fault? Why?
"Yeah, Duck. Those notes pretty much prove me right on this one, don'tcha think?"
Notes? What notes?
"Jethro, whatever it is this person thinks you did, does not mean you pulled the trigger on Timothy. You cannot go there. Your team is counting on you to keep them together, keep them focused and help them find the bastard who did do this!"
Wait, Gibbs thinks this happened because someone's after him? Oh, right, best way to get to Gibbs is to go after one of us.
"Duck, I know the team is focused already, they all want to find who did this! The facts remain what they are. The notes were addressed to us, and I was named in them. You can't deny that this means whoever did this is after me for some case we solved. Tim was just an innocent victim they went after him to get to me!"
You'll find whoever it is, Boss. I know you will.
"Jethro, you must put away the blame and focus on Timothy's recovery. You know this. I'm sure you've been stewing in this since earlier today. That's long enough."
"Duck, you didn't hear his voice when he called me for help! I sent him out into a trap!"
God, I hate it when he feels this way because of me, not that he's ever had reason to before. I have to stop this. Can't handle the anguish he's not hiding. Maybe he'll listen to me for once.
"Jethro, you did not know that at the time! There's no sense in beating yourself up about it now. It won't do you or Timothy any good."
Right, here's my chance! It's now or never!
"Boss."
Wow, that hand on my shoulder wasn't expected.
"Tim!"
"Please, don't do this. I hate it when you blame yourself." Wow, my voice sounds horrible!
"Okay, Tim. We can talk about it later."
Don't think I've ever heard that tone from him before.
"Can you tell us how you're feeling, Timothy?"
Even Ducky sounds worried!
"Everything hurts. So tired. Thirsty
"You've been given painkillers in your i.v. I will go speak with your nurse and ask her to increase the dosage for you. Jethro can give you a drink. After you drink your fill, you must try to go back to sleep."
"Thanks, Ducky."
Damn, my throat hurts!
"You are quite welcome young man. I am relieved to be able to have a two-way conversation with you. Please make sure that does not change, hmm?"
"Boss?"
"Tim?"
"Everyone...else... okay?"
"Yeah, Tim. They're fine. They're with Abby while she's doing her thing on all the evidence."
"Can I... talk... them? Please?"
"For a minute, you're in no shape to carry on a long conversation."
"K."
"Abby, are Tony and Ziva with you?" Gibbs asked. "Put your phone on speaker and all of you listen up."
Gibbs has handed me the phone, now. Can I do this? My voice is horrible. Gibbs is nodding at me, I really need to hear their voices. It should only take a minute. Then I can sleep!
"Hey guys." Oh, yeah, my voice definitely sounds like crap.
"TIMMY!" - Abby's voice still sounds like beautiful music
"Probie?" - Tony actually sounds concerned
"McGee!" - Ziva. Sounds like she's relieved.
They're y happy to hear from me. If only…. Maybe they're not all pissed at me? Wish I didn't hurt like hell all over! So tired!!
Another comforting hand on my shoulder. The phone's slipping from my hand, No, wait, Gibbs' took it. Okay.
"HEY!" "You've got one minute to listen to Tim. He's in pain and he's exhausted. He wanted to talk, so hear him out!"
The phone's back. I can do this! Don't have much of a voice; hope they can hear me.
"Just wanted to know if you guys were all okay."
Wow, I sound like crap!
"We're fine, Timmy."
"We're fine, Probie."
"We are just fine, McGee."
So tired! Thank God, they're all safe! Say something else to them.
"Good."
So tired. Oh, good, the darkness is back Here I am!! Let me back in, please! Ah! Thank you!
*******************
"Where are you, sweetheart? Not somewhere dangerous?"
"Right now, I'm in nowhere land, out by Spring River. But, I'm headed back to the office."
"I just stopped and got a quick something at the Quickmart where I'm at."
**Crack**
Pain ripping through my shoulder, nearly falling over to the floor.
Sitting back up,
**crack** from somewhere close by.
More, pain! , Now my chest feels like it's on fire!
Excruciating pa!n!
Can't' think!
Can't breathe!
Oh, God, everything hurts!
Car's flying!
Darkness invades.
***************
Can't breathe!
The walls are closing in!
Why can't anyone help me?
I can't breathe!
Somebody help me!
"Get a doctor, NOW!"
Gibbs? Boss!! Boss, help me! I can't breathe!
************
No! Help me! Can't breathe! Boss!
Timothy, you're all right dear boy. Relax." Ducky tried in vain to calm Tim from the depths of his apparent nightmare.
"Duck?" Gibbs asked with concern as he entered Tim's safe recovery room within the secure facility of NCIS. It only took a second of Tim's continued stress-filled cries from wherever his mind had taken him, before Gibbs understood the problem.
No! Boss! Can't breathe! Help me!
Calmly and with a steady voice, the boss did what he could to calm the young man struggling to breathe even in his sleep.
"McGee. You're safe now. Breathe. That's it. Breathe in. breathe out. Relax." the soothing steady voice and the calming comforting hand of his boss seemed to do the trick in getting Tim to relax. Soon, the young man was peacefully sleeping once again.
"Duck. How long's that been going on?" Gibbs asked in concern.
"That was the first time since we brought him here, Jethro. I've administered another sedative so he'll sleep more soundly. His body needs all the help it can get to recover." Ducky answered as calmly as he could considering how shaken he was at his inability to calm Timothy down.
"Don't worry about it, Duck. I think he's used to me barking at him, calling him to attention, so to speak." Gibbs explained. "Why don't you go take a break? I'll sit with him till you get back. You've done all you can for him for now, right?"
"Yes, Jethro. I have. He should sleep for the next four hours or so with no problem. Thank you. I shall enjoy the break." Ducky admitted with a grimace as his joints and bones creaked with the movement after sitting still for so long.
"No problem, Duck. Take your time."
As Gibbs settled in to watching over Tim as the young man slept, it wasn't' long before the sleep his agent was getting, became less than restful. As his body tensed and grew restless, the young man's head began to toss back and forth and his eyes fluttered beneath their lenses.
"Elizabeth!"
"Where are you, sweetheart? Not somewhere dangerous?"
"Right now, I'm in nowhere land, out by Spring River. But, I'm headed back to the office."
"I just stopped and got a quick something at the Quickmart where I'm at."
**Crack**
Pain ripping through my shoulder, nearly falling over to the floor.
Sitting back up,
**crack** from somewhere close by.
More, pain! , Now my chest feels like its on fire!
Excruciating pa!n!
Can't' think!
Can't breathe!
Oh, God, everything hurts!
Car's flying!
Darkness invades.
Gibbs felt his heart stop as Tim's strangled cries erupted once again from his dream filled sleep.
Elizabeth!
How could he have forgotten? Tim'd been dating her for several months now. His agent had talked to him about her a couple of months ago; as he tried to work through his fears and insecurities from the last time he'd dated. Tim had never given him his girlfriend's phone # or even a last name. How was he supposed to find this woman when Tim had kept his relationship private? Did Gibbs have the right to break that confidentiality not? Was it even necessary? Funny thing, no one had called the squad room looking for Tim since the young man had gotten shot.
Gibbs' phone rang as he sat there thinking through everything he knew about Tim's case so far.
"Yeah, Gibbs." He answered quietly.
"Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs!" Abby yelled into the phone either in excitement or anger, he couldn't tell which.
"Abby! Quiet down! Tim's sleeping!" Gibbs ordered in his no nonsense tone.
"Oops, sorry. But, I've been looking through all of the stuff that Tony and Ziva pulled from the car.
"And?" Gibbs pushed.
"Tim lied."
"Wanna repeat that, Abby?"
"Gibbs! Didn't Tim tell you he lost his work cell phone this morning?"
"Yeah, Abby, he did." Gibbs answered impatiently.
"Gibbs, I found his original cell phone!
"Where, Abby?" Gibbs asked in as calm a voice as he could handle. There had to be a good reason for this. Tim wouldn't lie about losing his phone like that.
"In the trunk of the car, Gibbs; in his bag!" Abby cried, obviously upset at where the evidence was leading. "Gibbs! Why would Timmy lie about losing his phone? And since when does he lie to you, of all people?"
"He doesn't, Abby. You know that." Gibbs reminded her.
"But, Gibbs! Evidence doesn't lie!" Abby threw back at him in despair.
"No, it doesn't, Abby. But neither does Tim."