I woke up in the morning, a bit groggy and a bit sore between my legs, but ultimately relaxed and at ease. I rolled over to pat the bed next to me only to find it was empty, the slightest indentation remaining to signify anyone had been there at all. My mind replayed the events of the evening before, unexpected as they were, and each indescribable and delectable moment of pleasure. My nature getting the best of me, I couldn't help but yearn for the feeling again.
There wasn't much time to dwell on it, however, as no sooner than I woke the droid arrived to ready me for the day. After donning the normal training garb and straightening myself up, I headed to the training room where most of the others were already waiting. As soon as I entered I could sense him, in the most intoxicating way, like his presence was wafting towards me and wrapping me up like the curling branches of a tree. In the background I heard a few of the others snicker. He walked over and stood silently behind me, the close proximity allowing me to feel the heat off his body, smell his spicy musk, and transport myself back to the previous night.
"Don't." He gruffly whispered behind me, and everything pleasing shattered like glass and fell to the floor.
"I merely did you a favor, don't by any means think this is a precursor to some sort of…relationship. We are both Knights of Ren and as such we treat all in the clan the same. Put it out of your mind." I stood frozen, understanding only slightly what he was saying. Basically, he was icing me out, assuming I was getting clingy when I certainly wasn't. Not only did I begin to question if he had been disappointed by my body or that my performance was lackluster, but I grew angry. I had worked far too hard in this life to be some simpering pining creature so desperate for another. I hadn't asked for any of this, I hadn't asked to come here, hadn't asked to be ingratiated into some secret society, hadn't asked to be essentially drugged. And yet, here I was, being spoken to like some child in a condescending tone. Made to feel as though I had caused all of this through my own simplistic stupidity, and weakness.
"How dare you." I spat from clenched teeth. "I didn't ask for this, and if for one second you think last night means I am just dying to worship at your feet, you are SORELY mistaken." I saw his eyes darken and his jaw and fists begin to clench as an electricity grew in the air.
"Sonia! You train with me today." It was Liyah the bald headed tattooed female. Saved. I strode with determination over to her as she grabbed me by the arm and led me outside of the room to another smaller chamber.
"You must not provoke him." She said sternly.
"I wasn't provoking him, he was acting like a Kowakian monkey lizard and I was merely calling him out on it. Besides, I wouldn't even be in this mess if Red didn't decide to have some fun and pass me the pipe that apparently sets a fire to your loins." She chuckled a low laugh.
"Anya was only trying to help both of you, wound so tight, if you don't loosen, you will only end up snapping. Kylo Ren has a tendency to snap."
"You don't say?" I cocked an eyebrow with sarcasm and tied my hair back into a ponytail behind my head.
"Yes. And when he does snap it is not something you want to be around for, very powerful in the Force, very powerful but without full control. Again, it is not wise to provoke him."
"Sounds like avoidance will be best, good to know." Liyah handed me a blindfold, and motioned for me to put it on, which I did.
"This room is designed to quiet the world, allow you to focus easier, find the Force within. Sit and listen to my voice as I guide you." She grabbed me by the hand and led me to the center of the room, then gently pushed down on my shoulder.
I sat down, closed my eyes, and followed her voice.
"Reach out beyond yourself, feel the fire which grows inside of you and reach it out towards the world. Out from this shelter, out from this planet, into the galaxy." I felt this fire inside, projected it out reached beyond, and focused on where it led me.
"Tell me what you see." Her voice trailed behind in my mind as if she were far away.
"I see my mother. She's…" I stammered, as I saw the form of my mother, laying on her bed with my father by her side, holding her hand. Looking further I saw the motion of her internal workings, something attacking, breaking her down.
"She's…she's dying. What is this?" I gulped and became angry, a terrible drooping sorrow filled me inside and tore me down.
"Hard to say, could be the past, could be the present, or the future. The future is always cloudier, harder to know what the outcome will be as so many factors are at play." Her voice was steady and unaffected. Almost, pleased, like I had told her I saw rainbows and sunshine.
I could feel my heart ache within my chest, it brought me down, and I could still see her, feel her pain. It made my insides break.
"If she's dying I need to go to her." I said plainly.
"It's the terrible truth that hurts the most. You cannot leave, only the Supreme Leader can give you permission." My painful sorrow turned to anger as I was reminded of my essential captivity in this matter. The anger rose within my chest and pooled together, I felt it grow stronger, harder, pulling the energy of my surroundings towards it forming a ball of fire within me. My breathing grew heavy and strained as sweat slowly streamed down my face.
"Sonia, you need to channel this fear and anger, it can be your ally. Direct it towards your enemies." Enemies? What a fanciful thought that was. My enemies were all around me, blocking my path, keeping me here. To direct this at my enemies? A light clicked in my head, a small smirk spread across my lips, and I continued to pull in the energy around me, building bigger, stronger, like the swell of a storm. The air around me began to spin in a flurry.
"Sonia, let it go, you are going to cause too much damage, come back to the ground, ground yourself." I ignored her voice, instead remembering the feeling of the electricity that shot from my fingers before, only this time, I did not target a room, but I targeted the entire base. The fireball grew to enormity and I projected it out to each Knight of Ren, each droid that serviced them, any potential enemy around me and suddenly let it snap like a stretched band of rubber.
There was an audible snap as I pushed it all out, blue lightning filling the room, and it left me feeling as though someone had sucked out my insides with a vacuum. I pulled the blindfold off hastily and saw as Liyah lie motionless on the ground. I wasted no time as I barreled through the door, noting that all the other members were in the same state through the hallways and rooms. Hesitating for only a brief moment, I saw Kylo Ren in a mass on the floor.
Not knowing how much time there would be, as they all were still very much alive, I navigated through the maze of hallways to find the hanger. Sure enough, there were a few shuttles strewn about, and I quickly entered one and began the starting sequence.
What do you think you're doing?
"Fuck off unless you want me to shock the shit out of you again."
There is no escape.
"I get that, but I have more important matters at hand right now. Chase me all you'd like, see if I care."
You will be punished.
"Great, I've gone through reconditioning at least a dozen times, do your worst." The ignition sequence was completed, and I saw a dark figure standing back in the distance as I took off and set my course for Dantooine.