Chapter 21

The next morning Harry woke me, rain splattering against the window viciously. The wind howled "Hey. Something's happened with Liam" He said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What? What's happened?" I asked, confused by Harrys tone of voice.

"Nicola's boyfriend got in a fight." He paused "He died last night". He said blankly, looking at the floor.

"Oh my god!" I put my hand over my mouth. I had met both of them at the live shows.

"Is he okay? Where is he?" I asked, moving towards Harry. I pulled him towards me and hugged him tightly.

"He's downstairs, on the phone to Nic and his mum"

I got up and headed downstairs, Liam was sitting on his own in the living room, staring into space. His hazel brown eyes were glazed over, his expression emotionless. I sat next to him, not saying a word. He finally bought himself out of his daydream a second later.

"Hey" He said quietly.

"I'm so sorry Liam" I replied, hugging him around shoulders.

"I'm okay, I'm just worried about Nic. I think I'm gonna go home for a few days" He said, still with a blank expression on his face.

"Maybe that's best, make sure your sisters alright" I said as Harry appeared at the door.

Everyone was in shock, the house wasn't full of laughter like normal, but it was deadly silent. Sorrow filled each of the boys' eyes; it was like when twins or siblings felt the same emotions as each other when in danger or sadness, they were like a pack of wolves, sticking together and being there for each other in times of sadness or distress.

Harry drove with Louis and Liam to the airport. It was sad seeing Liam leaving, as the rest of us were staying, but he promised he would be back for Zayn's birthday.

The house fell silent again, Niall disappeared upstairs and Zayn was sitting at the kitchen table, on his laptop with his earphone in.

I wondered upstairs slowly, in a daze. I stepped into the still and dormant bedroom, clothes scattered the floor and I picked them up quickly and put them in a small pile by the bed.

I sat on the soft duvet, silent and in thought. I decided to tidy the place up, put away the Christmas presents that were still in a pile on the side and hoover the black fluff up from Harry's hoodie that was collecting next to the wardrobe.

I rummaged through a drawer that was from Harry's old bedroom; clothing tags and random pieces of schoolwork were still inside.

I smiled, looking through the random bits of paper. There was one where doodles covered the back, he had written his name in bubble writing but next to them, another coloured pen had drawn a heart and her name.

Harry 's Ellis

Ellis was one Harry's closest girl-friends in school, and his ex. I would always hear about rumors of them being more than just friends in the early weeks of us being together.

Underneath some folders was a stack of letters, addressed to Harry. They were being kept together by a thick elastic band. The handwriting was big, flowing and girly.

I took the letters in my hand, and slid the first one on the top of the pile out. The paper on the envelope was ripped, so the paper slid out easily.

Opening the lined A4 piece of paper, my heart started the race.

Dear Harry,

The letter read.

I sit here in sorrow, wishing I could hold you. I've realized that I've tried to replace you over and over since I made the foolish decision to leave you. But, no one can make me laugh and smile like you do. You are the only one that ever made me so happy.

No one could ever take your place. I feel as if my soul has stolen my heart and left me to cry myself to sleep each and every night with guilt in my heart of how I hurt you.

I guess you just don't realize what you have until it's gone. I was so stupid to leave you. I know sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry and I beg with every ounce of my soul please forgive me.

Love Always,

Ellis xxx

It was written in perfectly formed handwriting. My eyes filled with tears. What was this? I was confused and angry.

She was stunning… A tanned, blonde, skinny, soon-to-be model, and there she was, confessing her undying love for Harry in the letter that I held in my hands.

I flicked through the other envelopes; they were all addressed to Harry. I couldn't bear to read any more so I stuffed them back in the drawer. I sat crossed-legged on the floor reading the same letter over and over again.

Harry wondered in, frightening me. He looked at me strangely as I looked up at him, tears flowing down my face.

Harry sighed and sat next to me, taking the letter from my shaking hand.

"I knew I should've chucked these away" He said slowly and quietly, almost to himself.

"What are they?" I replied, confused.

He sighed again, looking at me seriously.

"They were from ages ago, before we had even met," He answered.

"Why have you kept them all this time?" I asked, wiping the tears away from my face and neck.

"Because she was a big part of my life, Soph" He said, shrugging.

"But this doesn't sound like just teenage crush" I said seriously.

"It maybe wasn't to her, but I've never loved anyone more than you" He replied, playing with the chord of his hoodie.

"But Harry, this isn't just something I can forget about. Every time we go home, all I'm going to be able to think about is if she's still in love with you or not" I said, not knowing how to react.

"I know, I know" He said, opening his arms wide. I crawled towards him, not wanting to be mad anymore. Nicola's boyfriend's death had taught me that people could be snatched away in the click of your fingers; I had to put this whole behind me as soon as possible and appreciate my boyfriend, in every single way possible.