2009 - 31 years - Denver, CO

Toby was running damned late for school, and was juggling his dance bag and travel mug of coffee into the car when his phone rang in his pocket. Will.

"Shit, darlin'. Your timing's crap this morning." Toby shoved his cup into the cupholder and shoved his key into the ignition. "What's wrong that you're calling in the middle of the day?"

Will's chuckle was warm over the distance. "Nothing's wrong that the ticket I booked this morning won't fix."

"Oh! When?" Toby turned onto 38th Avenue and headed west. If he got lucky and hit all the green lights on Federal, he'd make it to school in time to warm up before class. If not, he'd have to just warm up with his class. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Tomorrow. I get in at five something." He paused, and Toby could hear the next question before Will spoke. "You can pick me up, right?" You don't have . . . other plans, but Will was too polite to ask about the ways Toby filled the scores of weekends when Will wasn't there.

"No. No other plans. I have a late rehearsal, though. The holiday concert is coming up in a few weeks. I've got some of my seniors doing this tap number." He pressed the phone to his shoulder and fumbled with his coffee, taking a long sip. "I should be able to cut out without any trouble. I doubt they'd complain about an extra hour on a Friday."

Will laughed. "I think you're probably right. Teenagers."

Toby could hear echoes in the background, the clanging of metal and excited teenage voices. "Are you calling me from a hallway?"

Will laughed again, honey and molasses. "The auditorium. The kids are getting ready to sing. We've had a hard week here. I messed up, Toby, big time. But Kurt, he and some of the girls did this number yesterday, and it helped me see. And Brad. Well." Will sighed. "You know Brad. He always has the answers. The number today, it was his idea. Or, he gave me the sheet music, at least."

Toby could almost see Will shake his head with the wondering. Oh, darlin'. Toby could picture him, the way he got when the puzzles of his world started falling together. For all of his experiences, Will was still a little bit naiive; it was one of the things Toby loved most about him. "Aren't you afraid of the risk, calling me from school?"

"No." Will's laugh now was a little bit bitter. "Not today, at least."

"Oh, darlin'. It must have been a hell of a week."

Will softened his voice to a whisper. "You have no idea. Brad tried to talk me out of seeing you this weekend, with Sectionals so close, but I need you, Toby."

Toby pulled into his parking spot, five minutes early for class, and rested his forehead against the steering wheel. He hated it when Will's need snuck up on him like that. His voice caught around sudden tears in his throat. "God, Will. I need you, too."

"Tomorrow. Now-" Toby could hear muffled crackling and Will calling to the kids before he was back, rich and sweet in Toby's ear. "Listen."

Toby closed his eyes, felt his hand grow warm from the battery in his phone. The sweet sound of a young girl's soprano floated through the miles. He knew instantly why Brad had picked the song, or at least presented it to Will. The three of them, and Andi, had sung it for a B-W talent show back when they were still in elementary school. Way back before things got complicated, when Toby still had a home with his parents and he and Will were just little boys sharing a bed to keep the unknown of the night away.

He listened until the last note had floated away, until Will's remarkable kids had finished singing. He could hear them over the distance, waiting in anticipation, but Will's first words were whispered to him. "Do you remember?"

Toby wiped at the tears on his cheeks. "Yes, darlin'. I remember."

He didn't care, anymore, that he was late for class.

It was always the same thrill of anticipation that ran through Will as he stepped off the plane, pulling his wheeled carry-on behind him. In five minutes, I'll be there, he thought, and his stomach tightened, doing flip-flops like he was sixteen again. In four minutes, I'll get to stand next to him and look him in the face. He felt that urgency, as thought if he didn't give it a little extra speed, something might be gone, and he drove his steps faster, stepping onto the moving walkway to pick up a little time. In three minutes, I'll feel his fingers around mine. The escalator met him, carried him inexorably down a flight of stairs, and he walked down the next set of stairs himself because he couldn't abide standing still any longer. In two minutes, I'll smell his cologne as I reach to hug him. In one minute, I'll hear him calling me darlin'. Any second, I'll get to taste-

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," drawled Toby, smiling his crooked smile, eyes glowing. "Welcome home, darlin'."

"Toby," he said, abandoning his suitcase and holding out both arms. They fell into each other's embrace, neither one willing to let go for one instant. Will breathed him in. "God, I missed you."

"Let's not waste any time, all right?" Toby said, taking his hand. There's a little more grey in his hair than there was last time, he thought, trying to walk and fill his eyes with Toby at the same time. "You don't have any bags to pick up, do you?"

"No," Will said. "Just this one." He bent to reach for it at the same time that Toby did, and their foreheads collided, just a little knock, but they laughed and Will watched his eyes crinkle and his lips part a little with his laugh, and –

"God," he said again, and this time it was full of heat. "Toby."

"For the love of Pete, Will," Toby said, shaking his head and pursing his lips. "It's like you ain't never seen a man before."

"It's just you," he said, and it was true. No one made his breath catch, made his pulse race, made his dick get hard quite like Toby did.

Toby's slow, teasing smile was full of promise. "Well, let's shake a leg, then." He tugged Will's hand after him, and Will ran a few steps to catch up with him. Toby was as tall as he was, but his legs were longer, and it was a certainty that Toby was in better shape, dancing every day as he did. He put his eyes on Toby's behind, encased in those jeans, and he had to laugh as himself for ogling. Toby knew he was looking, because he put a little sashay into his step and wiggled his butt.

"Subtle," Will choked, his face heating.

"Ain't nobody ever accused me of that, darlin'," Toby said, gaily, holding the door open for him. The day was cool and beautiful, with just a hint of snow in the air, and Will breathed in the crisp Denver air with appreciation. It seemed so much cleaner up here, the sun a little brighter than in Ohio, the far-away mountains offering a glimpse of another world.

"How's Annie?" he asked, catching up to Toby at last as he pressed the button to cross the street. He slid an arm around his waist, letting his hand rest on Toby's narrow hip. Toby tut-tutted and shook his head mournfully.

"Silly as ever," he said, his sweet, light voice full of affection. "I swear, if that girl had an idea it would die of loneliness."

"She's not still trying to find that ball?" Will said, and Toby laughed. It dug in under his skin and coated him with a layer of goose bumps. He couldn't stop smiling; his cheeks felt like they were going to crack.

"Still is, " Toby agreed. "And it's long gone, but she still thinks it's where you put it, under the couch."

"I brought her a new one," Will said. Toby's arm guided him across the street as the sign changed. He let Toby steer, let himself be led to his car, not thinking of anything but Toby, it's Toby, I'm here with Toby.

"Let's get that bag in the car, all right?" Toby said, popping the hatchback on the RAV-4. Will lifted the suitcase in beside Toby's racquetball bag and Annie's blanket. A sudden gust of wind made him shiver, and Toby turned to him, the hatch still open, and their mouths were connecting, his tongue was in Toby's mouth, and he was gasping, his hands full of Toby's short hair, still wet from the shower. It was the sweetest taste in the world.

"Oh," said Toby. Sweeter than honey, sweeter than syrup. "Will."

"Yeah," said Will, roughly. "Let's go home."

Will stumbled around to the other side of the car while Toby closed the hatch. He regretted wearing this particular pair of jeans because, although he knew they looked great on him, they didn't leave a lot of wiggle room. Right now, they were particularly tight. He couldn't understand how Toby could squeeze into those skinny jeans, though his body was as tight and fit now, in his mid-thirties, as it had ever been in their youth. Will tried to adjust himself as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his earring. He never wore it at school, or even in Lima that much, but he knew Toby secretly loved it, so he always made sure to bring it with him on these weekends.

"I'd ask how your flight was, but I bet you slept through it, hmmm?" Toby said, turning the key in the ignition. His bright eyes roved over the road in front of them, but he spared a smile for Will. His hand quickly put the car into drive, then reached out. Their fingers tangled, and Will gripped him firmly, loving the strength in Toby's slender hand.

"Most of it," Will admitted. "If I sit still in one place for long enough, I usually do."

"That's a gift I wish I had." Toby pulled smoothly into traffic. The clock read 5:35, though Will's watch said it was 7:35. "You hungry, darlin'?"

"I ate in the airport before I left," he said. "I'm fine for now. I want to… get settled."

"I know just what you want to do," Toby drawled, and his voice went straight to Will's cock and wrapped around it like a hand, like a tongue. He let out a shaky, startled laugh.

"Oh, yeah?" he said, trying to sound casual, teasing, but to his ears it just sounded desperate. "What do you think I want to do?"

Toby gave him an amused look that said You really want to do this in the car, Will? "You want to make a reservation for Little India," he said. "For seven fifteen. And then you want to spend the next hour and a half in my bed."

"Well," said Will, feeling lightheaded. "If you've got it all planned out, I guess I'd better go along with it, hadn't I?"

"Reservation's already made, darlin'," he said, his smile sly. "Now let's see if we can make it home without crashing the car."

Will ran a hand down Toby's shoulder, feeling the familiar strength, the curves of his triceps and biceps on his right arm. Toby didn't need to flex for him, but he did anyway. Will's heart caught, did a little two-step, and landed back on track. Toby. His whole body was alive with the feel of him. A whole weekend of Toby. Start the clock: now. Don't waste one minute.

"Bring that hand over here," Toby murmured, tucking Will's arm under his and clasping their hands together. "How are things at work? The kids getting up to their usual hijinks?"

"They had a bake sale a few weeks ago," Will said, his eyebrow twitching, watching Toby's mouth, Toby's hand on the steering wheel, Toby's long legs. "It was remarkably successful."

"Uh-huh," Toby said. "Now what aren't you telling me? I hear a whole story underneath that one."

"Artie – he's the one in the wheelchair?" Will prompted, and Toby nodded. He knew the Glee kids just about as well as anyone could, without having ever been to Lima. Will skipped right over the reasons behind that, and moved on. "They needed to raise money to get a handicap-accessible bus to drive to Sectionals."

"Seems like your tight-fisted principal should be shelling out the bucks for that." Toby's expressive eyebrows did their own dance, and his mouth was stern. "Don't tell me they don't have laws protecting disabled kids in the untamed Ohio wilderness?"

"It's technically a club," Will said. "So they're not covered. I know, it's awful."

"It's more than awful, it's barbaric," Toby declared.

"I love it when you get all Human Rights Campaign about things," Will said, continuing his hand's journey down to Toby's perfect abs.

"Technically, that's DREDF's purview, darlin'," he said. "HRC's for gay kids. But I know you have your share of those in Glee too. How's that one fellow doing? The sweet little queen?"

"Kurt," Will said. "Do you have to call him that? I'm sure he'd be offended."

"I'm sure I wouldn't say it in front of him," Toby said dryly. "Someday he'll reclaim those terms too, and it'll be an endearment, just like –"

"Don't," pleaded Will, jerking back his hand. "I don't want to hear it. Those terms are poison."

"Only if you let them be, darlin'," Toby said, but it was an old argument between them, and Will knew Toby wouldn't force it with him, any more than he'd force the other stuff. "How about gay? Can I say that without pushing your buttons?"

"Do we have to argue, Toby?" Will sighed. "I didn't come here to do that."

"What did you come here to do, Will?" The question was colored with gentle teasing, but there was an undercurrent of challenge. The pattern never changed, had not changed in years. Will always came for the same thing; Toby always asked for more; Will always left without giving it to him.

"I came to… see you," said Will, and the energy was back, the car was charged with it. Will was caught off guard by the strength of it, but it swept through his limbs and renewed his erection, and he let it carry his hand to Toby's leg, stroking the inside of his thigh with two fingers. Toby's legs relaxed a bit, opening to Will's touch, and he sighed.

"Funny way to see someone," he continued, in the same vein. "Last time I tried seeing someone, I used my eyes."

"I'm using them," Will said, looking Toby up and down, settling on his crotch, where he could see Toby had dressed left today. "I also came to … to touch you."

"You sure did, darlin'," Toby breathed, his voice white-hot. "What are you waiting for?"

"God, Toby," he groaned, and let his fingers flutter down to the outline of his cock, pressed into the shape of his skinny jeans. Toby moaned his approval, lifting his hips into Will's touch.

"I'm not a little boy anymore, Will," he said, and Will felt a stab of shame that Toby did still sound an awful lot like he did when he was fourteen. Not that he wanted him to be fourteen, no. He wanted this man, his own age, his own Toby, like he wanted no one else. No one else.

"What's your point?" Will said, palming Toby's long cock, feeling an echoing jump in his own. He put a momentary hand on himself, adjusting, finding a way to fit into these too-tight jeans that wouldn't leave him strangled and desperate by the time they got to Toby's house.

"I won't go off like a rocket at a touch," he said. "You can have your way with me here in the car. I'll hold off until we get home."

"And then?" Will asked. He glanced at Toby's face. It was gloriously clean-shaven, and Will felt another surge to his cock. He knew what that meant.

"Then," said Toby. He smirked, licking his lips. "Oh, yes, then."

"Toby," Will begged, popping the button on Toby's jeans and trying to inch down the zipper. It was useless, though – it was like they were painted on. "Come on."

"Then… it's your choice, darlin'," he breathed, somehow moving Will's hand in such a way that he fit inside his jeans, and that did something to Will, to feel his hand so close to Toby's center, to the hot core of him, because he made a startled noise and bucked his own hips involuntarily. "You can have my mouth… or my ass."

"Ohhh…" Will groaned, dizzy with wanting. "I don't want to have to choose. I want you every way I can get you."

"What's going to be first?" Toby said, still the picture of calm. Somehow he could drive and do this without going off the road, and thank God for that. They were almost to Toby's neighborhood, anyway. Will's lust-shrouded mind recognized familiar landmarks: the big rock, the playground, the stand of willow trees by the pond where Annie liked to play.

"Your mouth," said Will, feeling his face redden. It was something Terri wouldn't do for him, and he was ashamed to admit he dreamed about Toby's mouth more often than he dreamed about any other part of him.

"You got it," Toby promised. He pulled smoothly into the driveway, pressing the button for the garage door opener and gliding into the cool darkness of the garage. "Let's get your bag in the house."

Toby didn't bother to do up his jeans as he climbed out of the car, and the glimpse of skin over his briefs fired Will's desire more than it should. He followed Toby up the stairs and through the door into the cozy family room.

"Annie," cooed Will, getting down on his knees and letting the runty yellow lab-retriever mix lick his face. Her feathery white-yellow ruff tickled his hands and he exclaimed over her while Toby took his bag upstairs. She lay on her back and gave him adoring doggie glances while he rubbed her belly.

"I swear, William Schuester," he heard Toby's amused voice floating down the stairs, "I can't be sure if you come to Denver to see me or Annie."

"It's a toss-up," Will called back, and gave Annie one last pat before hurrying up the stairs, already undoing the buttons on his shirt. "But I think you win."

He stopped short in the doorway to Toby's bedroom, catching his breath at the sight of the naked man stretched out on the queen-sized bed ("Just right for this queen," Toby always joked), waiting for him.

"God, you're gorgeous," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I've missed you so much."

"And I'm all yours, darlin'," said Toby, smiling. "Now come here and let me show you what you've been missing."

They lay in Toby's bed in the last gleaming rays of the evening sun, Will tracing lazy circles on the small of Toby's back. He knew that Toby loved being touched there, that it was somehow linked to every other spot in his body, and Will could probably make him come just by continuing to make those slow, deliberate circles. But they were relaxed now; Will wasn't trying to do anything. He just wanted to feel him.

"Something about your skin," he murmured, noting the contours of his ass, the shape of him against the maroon flannel sheet. Toby turned his head to the side, sprawled unselfconsciously on the bed, and watched Will with one soft eye.

"It protects me, darlin'," Toby said. "Just like yours does. Nothing more than that."

Will gave him a half-smile. "What do you need protecting from?"

"Ohh, I think you know the answer to that," Toby said, rolling over onto his back. He reached up and tugged Will down to lie upon him, sprawled on his chest like Annie might, had she been allowed on the bed. Toby restricted her to the dining room when they were making love, although she sometimes snuck in afterwards to sit right by their feet, curled into the tiniest ball as though to say Don't mind me, I'm not really here.

Will couldn't handle that question, not with Toby so close, right there in his face. "It's almost time for dinner," he said instead. "You want the shower first, or me?"

"I want you first," Toby said, taking a handful of Will's firm ass and pulling their hips together, kissing him with the benefit of long experience. Will chuckled into Toby's mouth, twisting away.

"Again?" he said, amused. "You're hungry tonight."

"I missed you," Toby replied, playfully. His finger stroked Will's throat, watching his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "Let me touch you."

The truth, that Toby knew as well as Will, was that Toby did touch him, could touch him from across the country, with only his voice. Will heard that voice on the phone at least once a week, but to have it here, right next to him, attached to the delicious package that was Toby's lithe dancer's body, was enough to make Will hard again, right away. "Sing to me," he implored.

"Sure," Toby said, smiling. He rolled Will over to lie on his back, and straddled him with his long, strong legs. "I don't know why you like to hear me so much. There's not a director in the world who'd say they cast me for my voice."

"I can't explain it, Toby," Will said. "You just move me."

"You're just a big softie," Toby teased, as his hands on Will made a lie of his words. Will laughed, and gasped, and moaned under Toby's expert touch. He thought it was amazing how well Toby knew how to please him, after fifteen years of occasional weekends, when Terri could barely manage to get him off anymore.

Toby stroked his hands down Will's thighs, and sang, still smiling. His voice was sweeter than Gordon Lightfoot's, by far, but it had a similar lilt, and Will thought the song suited him.

The lamp is burnin' low upon my tabletop

The snow is softly falling

The air is still in the silence of my room

I hear your voice softly calling

If I could only have you near

To breathe a sigh or two

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

On this winter night with you

Will settled back on the soft sheets, his arms behind his head, filling his senses with Toby: the curve of his rib cage, his straight nose, the dusting of hair on his chest… and above all, his sweet, delicate voice: the bane of Toby's existence, and Will's favorite thing about him. Will's smile rose, unbidden, to his lips, and he sighed with delicious contentment.

Toby arched his back like a cat – Will couldn't count the number of times Toby had now been cast in that musical – and came down to rub his face on the fuzz on Will's belly. It was almost pornographic the way Toby loved to touch him. Not that Will begrudged him the opportunity; on the contrary, it was what he wanted more than just about anything in the world. But he felt a little embarrassed, watching Toby get off on his body, his body, when he knew how he felt about Toby, himself. It's just a mutual admiration society in this house, Toby would say.

"More," he begged, and Toby knew what he meant. Obligingly, he sang, his head resting on Will's stomach, his fingers lazily curled around Will's cock, stroking slowly, not trying too hard, just loving him. Will felt warmed from the inside, the fire burning in his core, deep in his being, stoked by Toby's patient touch.

The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead

My glass is almost empty

I read again between the lines upon the page

The words of love you sent me

If I could know within my heart

That you were lonely too

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

On this winter night with you

Toby's fingers parted his legs and cupped his balls gently, drawing him out, giving Will what he needed to feel good. It seemed to be Toby's mission in life to make Will feel good – never requiring too much, just happy to be there, to offer what he had and take what Will could give him in return. Will felt the familiar stab of guilt, mixed with the pleasure of Toby's touch, and the pure delight of listening to him sing.

Toby moved gracefully to the space between Will's legs, watching his face, giving him the opportunity to decline his unspoken offer. In response, Will reached for the bottle of lube Toby kept in the drawer by his bed, passing it with a condom into Toby's hands. Toby leaned down and kissed him between the words of the song, then smoothly unwrapped the condom and slid it on his erect cock.

Will didn't want to think too much about how easy that was for Toby, about how many other men Toby had had spread out like this on his cozy bed, or how many men had in turn pressed their cocks into Toby's tight ass. He knew it wasn't important, in these moments. They were entirely there for one another, and Toby's wet fingers stroking into him were just for Will. Toby loved him. That had to be enough.

Toby's gentle voice continued, only marked by the occasional gasp and tremor, as he eased himself into Will, stroking slowly at first, then finding an easy rhythm, filling him over and over. Will could scarcely admit to himself how much he loved the feeling of Toby inside him. It was easier than breathing.

The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim

The shades of night are lifting

The morning light steals across my window pane

Where webs of snow are drifting

If I could only have you near

To breathe a sigh or two

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

And to be once again with with you

To be once again with with you

"Toby," Will cried, caught, as always, by the unexpected surge as Toby's thrusts found that spot inside him. He fisted his own cock roughly, letting Toby's rhythm take him into a world where it was just the two of them, just this place, just Toby and Will and nothing else. It was where he needed to be.

"That's it," Toby urged, lifting Will's hips, panting not with effort – Toby could, and sometimes did, do this all night without breaking a sweat – but with emotion. It was only in these moments that Toby really ever lost his calm. Will had to admit he loved to see him come apart, to see his face grimace and strain with the passion he felt, but seldom expressed. "You feel so good, darlin', I just love your sweet ass."

It's all yours, Will wanted to say. He wanted to say that, and have it be true. But he couldn't.

"I love you so much," he said instead, and let his orgasm overtake him, shooting thick streams of come onto his stomach. Toby felt him clench, and groaned with release, driving his hips into Will, getting as close as he could, closer, closer.

It was never close enough.

Will's routine when he came out for a weekend was the same; Toby knew it like he knew his own heartbeat, and in some ways he thrived on it. His Will was nothing if not predictable.

Toby loved Indian food, but he saved it for Will. It was their thing, garlic naan and vegetable samosas, chicken vindaloo and vegetarian biryani, with an order of kheer to take home for later. They would eat it together, two spoons out of the container, entwined together in bed after their second or third round of sex.

But Toby thought that his favorite part of all of it might be walking into Little India with Will. The combination of Will's presence and the almost-sensual aromas of curry and saffron and garam masala made Toby lightheaded and full of wanting. It was sometimes all he could do to control himself and his needy, wandering hands until the meal was over and they were back on the street, walking to the car.

Toby wasn't sure why, but this time everything felt different. Toby had thought that Willl was on the verge of asking him for something, back in Toby's bed on the verge of release, but he'd gone silent instead. And Toby couldn't lie anymore and say it didn't hurt, because all of it, the wanting and distance and Will's damned inability to put words to his needs left Toby aching and empty.

All the years, and Toby wasn't sure he could do any of it anymore.

Toby watched Will, sliding a corner of naan through the remnants of vindaloo and rice on his plate, and finally found his voice at the bottom of his water glass.

"Talk to me, darlin'."

Will pushed his plate gently away from the edge of the table. "And tell you what?"

"What you couldn't or wouldn't tell me back at the house." Toby knew lots of things in that moment: that he was pushing a clear boundary, that he needed to do it, and that he didn't care if he was breaking a rule.

Will just shook his head. "Not now." His voice was strained and a little cold.

Toby caught Will's gaze and held it. "What do you want?"

"I can't- Toby. You know why I can't." But Toby didn't, really.

He lowered his voice to a bitter whisper. "I don't, Will. I don't understand, not anymore." Maybe he never had, but since things with Terri, Toby was at a loss. "What are you so scared of? What do you gain by hiding yourself away?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Halfhearted words at best, Toby could tell.

"Bullshit. You're so far inside your own head, your own closet, that you can't see it." Toby hates getting angry at Will; it had only happened a handful of times in 15 years, but it's almost a necessity now.

"I'm not closeted, Toby."

"I know. You're straight as an arrow, Will Schuester. With a boy you fuck any chance you have to get away for a weekend." Toby lowered his voice even further, but there was no way any of the tables around them could hear over the light music and the clang of dishes and silverware.

"It's not like that. God. Toby, you know you're more than that to me." Will sounded wounded.

"Do I? Because from where I'm sitting, I'm not so sure."

"But I-"

Toby sighed, and looked at Will with hurt eyes. "I know, darlin'. You love me. You tell me plenty. I just wish-"

"You wish what?" The waiter dropped the check, and Will reached into his pocket for his wallet, flipped his debit card into the plastic tray without even looking at the check.

Suddenly, Toby was choking on his words. If he told Will what he really wanted, he would be pushing the biggest boundary of them all and he would undoubtedly send Will away. Toby couldn't have that, so he sipped at his re-filled water and uttered the best thing he could think of.

"I wish I didn't have to fight so hard for you."

Will just looked at him like he didn't understand. "But you have me, Toby. I'm here."

Toby couldn't say anything else. Will really didn't see it. He stood while Will signed the credit card slip, gathered up their bag of leftovers and dessert. He let Will's hand at the small of his back guide him through the crowded restaurant and out into the cool December night. He looked up at the stars, crisp in the bright sky.

"You're not. Not really."

They rode home in complete silence.

"Annie," Will called, clapping his hands. "Annie, girl, c'mon."

"She take off again?" Will started, turned to see Toby leaning against the door frame, naked, grinning, arms crossed.

"Uh – Jesus," breathed Will. He drank in the sight of Toby like a peanut-butter milkshake. "You're…"

"Gorgeous? Devastating?" Toby twirled, hands over his head. "What wonderful thing am I, Will?"

"You're awake," Will grinned. "It's not even noon."

"I knew it felt too early," Toby said, and shrugged. "Oh, well. It won't kill me just this once. Maybe it's a special day." He raised one eyebrow. "Whatever shall we do?"

Will reached down, scooped up his jeans shorts, and tossed Toby a clean t-shirt. "Come take a walk with me. We'll find Annie and bring her home."

"Domestic," Toby drawled in approval. "I was kind of hoping for something a little more risqué."

"What, you want me to put you on the leash?" Will said, joking, and Toby made a cat-purring noise. Will smacked his ass playfully as Toby slid the screen door closed behind them.

"Which way did she go, darlin'?" Toby scanned the backyard for Annie's yellow form, but the little dog was nowhere to be seen, and he clucked in irritation. "We might as try down by the pond. She's gonna be wild as a March hare when we finally corner her."

The late morning was unseasonably warm, and Will found himself unzipping his jacket as they walked together. Toby slipped a hand into his, and they swung their hands between them, lazily. Like it was something they did every day, Will thought, feeling wistful.

"This is nice," he said.

Toby glanced at him. "You're in a good mood. What's that all about, hmmm?"

"Can't a guy just want to walk with his –" Will chuckled, nervously.

"His what?" Toby said, eyebrows high on his forehead.

"Boyfriend," Will said, a hair louder than a whisper. "His boyfriend."

"Ah," said Toby. A pink flush appeared on his cheeks. "Well, sure. Sure he can."

"Is – that what you call me?" Will asked, curious.

"I usually say lover," he said. "But that's just the queen in me. Boyfriend works just fine, if you prefer it."

It was Will's turn to blush, and he looked at the sidewalk. "I'm happy to be your lover."

"You sure are," Toby agreed, and Will laughed.

They listened for Annie's bark as they walked, but all Will could hear was the whispering breeze and the occasional child's voice. "That young fellow in Glee," Toby said. "Kurt. Does he have a boyfriend?"

"Kurt? I – I don't think so," Will said, furrowing his brow. Kurt was far away, in Lima, and it was hard for Will to reach his mind that far, to talk of Kurt in the same breath with Toby and the allure of the word boyfriend.

"I would have given anything to have a boyfriend back in high school," Toby said, sighing. "It was a lonely time. Being the only one out; that's a hard role to play. All the closet cases hated me or wanted to fuck me."

"Nobody hated you," Will protested, but Toby giggled, high and bubbly.

"Darlin', I'm the bitchiest queen this side of Aspen. You better believe people hate me. Back then, though – well, you remember how I was."

"You were -" Will's thoughts went back to a younger Toby, on the stage at Baldwin-Wallace in college, and before that, at music camp, in high school, middle school, even elementary school. "You were still pretty fabulous," Will offered.

"That's not what I meant," said Toby, "but thanks. I had good friends. You and Andi and Brad – I don't think I'd be alive today if you three hadn't been around." Toby eyed Will's uncomfortable nod. "Kurt, does he have friends? Like we were?"

Will thought about Kurt in Glee, and wondered. "I think so," he said. "Mercedes, and Tina. They're close. He's always pretending to be one of the girls."

"He needs some boy friends, too. Not boyfriends, mind you, though I'm sure he'd welcome that. Friends. Who are boys."

"Well, he and Finn, they did that song together," Will said, and thought about Finn's casual arm around Kurt, and Kurt's starry-eyed expression. "I'm pretty sure Kurt's got a crush on him. Finn doesn't seem to mind it, but it's hard to know with Finn sometimes."

They turned the corner into the park. Toby scanned the grounds for Annie, but they were still alone. "Mmm. Anyone else?"

"Kurt said something the other day about... Puck," Will said. Then he stopped, seeing Annie standing there in front of him, her sides heaving, smiling her broad doggie smile. "Hey, girl," he cried, patting his legs, and she jumped up on him.

"You're teaching her bad manners, Will," Toby chided him. "Now she's going to think that's okay to do to anybody."

"I don't mind it," he said, crouching down to rub the fur around her neck.

"Well, of course you don't," Toby said. "You're her daddy. She can get away with anything around you, and she knows it."

Will gazed across the park at a group of kids playing soccer as he fondled Annie's ears. He hesitated, and looked up at Toby. "I'm going to be a daddy for real, Toby," he said quietly. "Terri's having a baby. A girl."

Toby sighed. "I know," he said. "Brad told me. Congratulations."

"You're not mad?"

"How could I be mad about something you've wanted for so long, darlin'?" Toby said. "No matter what else happens, that's the most important thing. It's your life, after all."

"Thanks," Will said, with a sad, grateful smile. "I can't tell you how much it means to me – I mean, our relationship was falling apart, but now, with the baby… I think we have a second chance. I really do."

Toby followed Will's gaze to the kids across the park. "You were born to be a daddy, Will. You're going to be a darn good one, too, I reckon."

"But that's not something you want."

There was a long pause while Toby collected his thoughts. "It's never been something I was willing to give up my life for," he said finally. "I don't think you can be a daddy without making some sacrifices. Dancing – that's my life. That's my baby. I don't have room for another one."

"I'm afraid it's going to change things for us," Will admitted. "After she's born, I'm not going to be able to come out here as much."

"I figured," Toby said. "I've kind of expected it for a while. It was bound to happen. You breeders," he teased, but at Will's look, he quelled his amusement.

"It surprised me," Will said. "We were barely having sex at all."

Toby didn't respond to that, and instead he called Annie back to them with a clap of his hands. "Come on, darlin'. Let's get this naughty little girl home before she runs away again."

They didn't hold hands on the way back, a gulf of questions rolling between them. Toby asked one of them about halfway to Will's house: "Terri knows about us, doesn't she?"

"She knows I come to visit, yeah," Will said, his hands in his pockets.

Toby shook his head. "Does she knows we're fucking?" he asked, gently. He didn't use the word lovers, or the word boyfriends, Will thought. He said fucking.

Will's mouth hardened into a line. "She definitely knows we're doing something. One time, a few years ago, she walked in on me while I was… you know. And she said…" He chuckled humorlessly. "She said, 'I bet you never do this with Toby.'"

Toby considered this, puzzled. "You do, sometimes," he pointed out.

He smiled. "I think what she meant was, I don't have to do it for myself, with you. To enjoy myself."

"Oh," Toby said, understanding. "Well, is sex better with me, than it is with her?"

It was such a ridiculous question that Will didn't answer it at first, but then he saw Toby watching him, and he realized he was being serious. Will stopped walking and faced him, taking Toby's slender hands in his. Annie lay on the ground at their feet. Nobody was around, but even if they'd been in the middle of a crowded street, Will wouldn't have paid them any attention. "Toby," he said, with feeling, "there is absolutely no comparison between what I have with Terri and what I have with you."

"I know," Toby said. "I've never asked you to compare them before. My ego just wanted to know which one was better."

Will shook his head in disbelief. "Apparently, you still don't get it," he said, and he took Toby's face in both hands and kissed him, with all the love and passion he could muster. Toby responded enthusiastically, his tongue on Will's, wrapping his arms around Will's back, making adorable little cooing noises. When Will was done with him, Toby was breathless and wide-eyed, staring into his face with a glassy expression.

"This," Will said, and he was not too surprised to find tears in his eyes. "What we have. This is the best thing I've ever had, anywhere." His voice broke on the last word, and he traced the contour of Toby's cheek with the back of one trembling hand.

"Well," said Toby, clearly pleased. "Consider my ego to be well stroked."

They twined their fingers again as they finished their walk, shooting each other come-hither looks that set the stage for the rest of their afternoon activities, but did not speak again until they were nearly at the house. Finally, on the porch, Will cleared his throat. "Um," he said, looking at Toby intently.

"Best thing anywhere, for me, too," Toby said, quietly, to his shoes.

Will's blush went all the way to the roots of his hair. "I'm glad," he said, smiling, and they walked inside together, closing the screen door behind them.