When I wake up I feel foggy and tired. When my eyes get used to the bright florescent lights I sit up and look around. I'm in an emergency room. Oh no. I sit up more and my heart begins to accelerate.
"Hey. It's okay. Just breathe sweetie. Your mothers are just talking to the doctor. They stepped out a few minutes ago. They'll be back shortly." A woman dressed in a security uniform says to me. What's going on? I feel something sticky pulling the skin on my chest. I put my hand against my body and feel five circular sticky things on me. Then I notice that I'm no longer in the clothes I was wearing earlier, but a hospital gown. There are wires attached to the sticky things on my chest that lead up to a monitor. Finally, I noticed that the hand I was using to grope myself a few minutes ago has an IV in it attached to a bag of saline. Oh my god, what happened? No, no, no, they brought me to the hospital. All of this is going to go in my file. Stef and Lena are going to hand me back over to Bill, who's going to put me in a group home. Oh my god. My heart is beating so fast I begin to hyperventilate. "Sweetie it's okay. Just relax. Breathe in and out." The woman says. She gets up and walks over to me.
"Get away from me!" I shout. I'm scared. My eyes begin to water. "Please just, don't come any closer to me." The monitor begins to beep repeatedly. The woman heads to the door and opens it.
"Nurse!" she shouts into the hallway. Soon a young woman in light purple scrubs comes in the room.
"How are we doing in here?" she asks as she comes up to me and checks my monitors. "You're okay sweetie. Just breathe." She says the same thing the security woman said. "I'll be right back. I'm just going to get your doctor." She turns to the other woman. "Watch her. If her heart rate gets any higher come and get me." she says before exiting the room. A few minutes later a man dressed in dark blue scrubs and a white coat comes in, along with the nurse. Stef and Lena follow. This room is getting really crowded.
"Okay Callie, I'm going to give you something that will help you calm down so we can talk." He tells me. "Get me .25 mg of fast acting lorazepan from the pharmacy." He orders the nurse. The nurse then steps out of the room.
"Wait, what are you giving her?" Stef asks sounding concerned. "What's lorazepan?"
"It's a anti-anxiety medication with a sedative effect. It will calm her down; maybe make her a little tired."
"Oh."
"Why are they here?" I ask, still hyperventilating. "Why did you bring me here?" I ask the two women who are standing at the foot of my bed. "Why? Why, why, why?" I say in between breaths. "Now Bill is going to find out and he's going to put me in a group home." I begin to cry.
"Callie we're not going to let Bill take you away. We just want to help you." Stef says.
"You should've just left me alone. You should've just not cared. Why do you care? It's not like you know me. It's not like you guys even wanted me. Stef you wanted me gone day one I could see it on you face and I could hear it in your voice. You brought me here so you can just get rid of me." I cry. I'm completely hysterical and I'm crying so hard tears blur my vision. It's not helping my state of mind. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. I've never had to go through a panic attack in front of people. I need my knife. I try my best to get up but the doctor tries to keep me in the bed. I rip the leads off my chest and try once again to get off the bed. The doctor and the security woman hold me down, which makes it worse. I struggle against them. It reminds me of when Liam was on top of me. "No! Get off of me! Let me go! Stop please!" I scream. I see Stef walk over to me, now standing at the side of my bed. She gently places one of her hands on my shoulder, which for some reason, really sets me off.
"Callie calm down. They're just trying to help."
"Get away from me!" I yell. I don't know whom I'm yelling at exactly; I just want to be alone. My mind is racing. The other nurse walks in.
"Cara can you get these two out of here. They seem to be triggering to her." The doctor says to the nurse.
"No I'm not leaving her. She's clearly upset I need to be here with her. We're supposed to be looking after her." Stef says.
"Look, Miss Foster, I don't know what triggered this attack for Callie, but from what I have observed, you and your partner aren't helping the situation right now, so if you could please wait outside I will come and get you when she calms down." The doctor, who along with the security guard is still holding me down while I struggle, says calmly.
"Callie Lena and I will be right outside this door. We're not going anywhere." Stef says before Cara the nurse ushers her and Lena out of the room.
A few minutes after they leave the room, my heart eventually starts to calm down and my limbs grow tired. Soon my eyelids close and I quickly pass out.