Masky POV. No glamorization of self harm/eating disorders intended. Trigger warning for aforementioned.

I sat on the bed and latched my mask over my face. I sat silently and my mind began to wander, as it so oftenly did.

Should I really be hurt? Miriam always had a habit of picking out insecurities like flowers once she started hanging out with the popular girls. Did it hurt? Hell yes it did. I spent most of my life silent and bitter-I show her my weakness as the man I used to be and she stomps all over it! Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit!

I'm not a sociopath, I still feel things! I wanted to explain everything to her, but I feel betrayed now. I feel like I'll become even more of a laughing stock when we join the others in the dining room.

I knew Miriam in high school; she was always bright and bubbly. I remember her as a fresh faced freshman. I never went for younger girls, but she was different. She didn't gag when she had to work with the nerds, the mentally-ill, or the weird kids. She had so much love to give. Her face was full of color and she had these amazing eyes that would soften any room, despite the coolness in them. We had an elective together, but we were never paired in woodshop because I was older and a guy, so I would use the bigger, more dangerous equipment. I'm aware of how it sounds, but don't misinterpret what I'm about to say. She had long dark hair that hung to her hips; she'd always opt for a braid or a bun in the workshop. Her hair wasn't what I'd stare at though. Her body was like one that belonged to a goddess. Amazing hips and thighs, strong arms, slim chest. All the guys-all my friends-would always comment on her body. Sure, it was something I loved about her, but I saw her soul. She was gorgeous. She flashed a smile at me the day before summer vacation started, and that was the last time I ever saw that genuine smile.

I ended up having another class with her. I saw her schedule on her social media and nearly fell out of my seat when I compared mine to hers. I was a little thrown off when she deleted all her pictures taken before and after summer vacation. Her whole page was blank other than the new schedule. I just assumed she was over FaceBook and opted for a new account on another site. I walked in confidently. This year I would talk to her, I'd bathe in her light. When the third bell rang and I didn't see her my heart sank. I assumed she skipped or dropped the class. I sat in disappointment, and when the teacher took role call I hadn't even noticed until a friend of mine poked me back into reality.

"Earth to Tim-bone", my future & somehow current frat-bro friend, Parker chuckled at me.

I smirked back until a name called truly pulled me back.

"Miriam? Miriam D'Amico?" the teacher called.

Somewhere buried in the back with 2 other girls a hand flew up and rang back throughout the room; "Here!"

I was excited she was here, I leaned in her general direction and when I caught no sight of her I was puzzled. It's impossible, I just heard her.

I stared and her icy eyes met mine. Those were Miriam's eyes, but that wasn't Miriam.

Shockingly thin, pale, and blonde. Nothing like the Miriam I knew. Her long black hair had been cropped to just below her shoulders. The curl previously worn in her hair had been burned out with a flat iron. Bangs covered her face and a new nose ring glittered in the sunlight.

She stood as she noticed me staring and walked across the room to throw out a piece of paper. I nearly gasped when I noticed the new Miriam. Thighs previously hugged in her tight jeans were replaced with a free following pink skirt hugging to nothing. Her legs were so thin walking looked painful. Her button up white top hung loosely onto her tiny frame. She was always so humble, seeing her covered in gold rings, bracelets, and necklaces was a slap in the face for me. I felt my heart drop again, I'd rather hear she'd switch schools, moved the country, failed the class or hell I even wish she were dead. She looked so miserable. She flashed a smile at me. Her teeth looked doll-like-they were so white, so perfect, so unlike the Miriam I knew and loved.

I knew she was dead in some way, so I became obsessed with finding out the truth. I visited countless witches, psychics, and mages. Whoever I could find to give me an answer. All this time I didn't dare look at her, I hated her. I hated her because I knew she wasn't her. Eventually I found myself at slender mansion. I traded my freedom for her wellbeing. I asked for a protection spell to heal her. I wanted her back so badly. I graduated not long after, and I kept doing everything I was told to do to keep Miriam safe. I was at her prom, her graduation, her first job.

I watched her to look for improvement. I saw her cutting herself in her room, throwing up in the bathroom, hiding her tears with makeup, bleaching her hair brighter and brighter so no one would recognize her. It hurt me so much, and it hurt when she moved out of her grandmother's house even more because I knew she'd be even worse off when she was alone. It hurt when I didn't know where she moved, it hurt when I lost her.

I realized she was gone when I would see her empty room every time I lurked around her old house, and I realized I'd lost everything.

A few months had passed and I was sitting at the mansion when the newspaper caught my eye. I saw an advertisement for "Miriam's Cheesecake!" my eyes widened as they traced the lines underneath the boldly printed letters until I found an address. I searched and when I discovered it was address to Miriam's community clubhouse, I waited for her to sell her pastry to a young couple before I followed her home. I watched her get ready to go out somewhere, all dressed up. She'd gained a bit of weight since I last seen her and I was so relieved. I ducked behind a bush when she slipped a heel on and jogged to her car, the blaring music that erupted from it jolted me straight. Once she pulled out of her driveway, I chased after her.

It hurt when I saw Parker from high school kiss her. It hurt when he led her into the restaurant. It hurt when I saw Terry Orchard, a girl known for her promiscuity in school, slip Parker her number. It hurt when I saw Miriam drive off, clearly deep in thought. It hurt when I saw Parker go back into the restaurant and bring Terry out with him. It hurt when I watched them drive off together.

It hurt when I watched Miriam smoking a cigarette, knowing it was a large contributor to her frame and health. It hurt when I snuck into her house to finally free both her and myself from the evil curse on us. It hurt when she kicked me out of her house-in every use of the word.

But when I went home that night, I knew there was still some left of the old Miriam alive in this phantom body of hers. It hurt when I lied about killing her. I was relieved when Sally understood my dilemma. I was hurt by Miriam's initial hostility to me outside of her University. I was crushed when I had to pretend I didn't know her. I was happy I got to see her flash a real smile at me. I was angry when I waited for her to come out, so I could keep monitoring her, and I saw her crummy professor stuff her into his car. I was angry when I saw him force himself on her at his house. I was so angry but I couldn't do anything. His house was alarmed and secure and I couldn't risk Miriam getting into trouble.

I was so angry that when Miriam escaped just like I knew she would, I stabbed Miriam's professor until I blacked out. When I came to, I saw he was nothing more than a mess of the man he used to be.

I was paranoid when I saw she hadn't made it home. I went to the mansion to clear my head and begin the search for her with the help of my boss. I was furious when I heard she had been tied up in the torture room. I was ready to kill Jeff when I saw him about to take everything I've worked for. I had to fake being calm to get into Jeff's head, feeling the growing fury I had to suppress for Miriam's wellbeing broke my heart.

I had never been so mad in my life than when I saw my biggest enemy grope Miriam like an animal. I was relieved when she was able to muster up her wit on the way to the guestroom. I was happy to see her bonding with Sally. I was relieved to see her blending in as best as she could. I was irritated when she disrespected Jane. I was so angry when she assumed I was some sort of freak of nature when all I wanted to do was help her. I regretted my horrible words to her as soon as they left my mouth. I was filled with nostalgic heartbreak when she pulled off my mask. My heart skipped a beat when she accepted me by touching my face. I was so surprised by this feeling I panicked and held her hands over her head. I had never been more at peace than when she said she remembered me. I was overjoyed when she hugged me back and accepted my conjured dress. I was nervous when she called me into the bathroom. I was embarrassed when she echoed my words back at me.

I'll admit I was so unbelievably aroused when I hoisted her up on the counter and she moaned my name. I was at her mercy when she whispered in my ear. After I heard what she said, once again I was hurt. So unbelievably hurt.

When she came out and poured her feelings to me wearing the most beautiful thing I've ever seen her in I couldn't face her, so I said nothing.

I'm hurt. She doesn't know how much I've done for her for her to be happy. She hurt me so badly. She reminded me I failed her because I was too chicken-shit to tell her how I felt. Maybe I'd never be in this mess if I did. I'm hurt, and I'm angry, but not at Miriam. For once, I don't blame Miriam. Yes, she made me feel everything in the book without batting an eye, but I'm not angry about that. She's no longer the walking lifeless corpse I was so pained to see; the new Miriam is a wicked, cunning, strong, and calculated woman.

I've never been more in love with her in my life.