Chapter 10: There's a Sadness in You, Me and Us Two

It had been three days since she had returned. It had been three days since Daryl had kissed her.

The sudden realization brought another wave of pink to her cheeks. Instantly she had forgotten the gravity of her situation; the world was not in the midst of an apocalyptic disease, she was back in college blushing on the basketball court. She was blushing because she had dared Seth Barnes to kiss her at their next dodgeball game and not only had he done just that but he had done it in front of all of his friends. That's exactly what this felt like. It was the pink giddy feeling of a first kiss.

Her good humor was very short lived, however. No, she was not on a basketball court; she was trying to sneak into a horse stable to get some peace and quiet! More importantly, she was not kissing Seth for the first time. She was kissed by Daryl Dixon. She felt guilty for a few moments, allowing herself to wallow in a new wave of loss. To start over she had to change all of her 'lasts' with 'firsts'. Prior to this, her last kiss had been Seth. To have her first kiss with Daryl she had to let go of her last.

She let out an uncomfortable snort as she wriggled her way into one of the unoccupied stalls. Maybe she would be better off being celibate… isn't that what most women did when their loved ones passed? Maybe, somewhere on this godforsaken earth there was still a running convent with nuns and monks who had 'prayed the zombie away'. Perhaps she would be better suited to live there. Hopefully she would find a handsome and charming monk there and convince him to…

Okay, celibacy was clearly not an option for her.

She had spent the first day in a haze where she did nothing but hang out with Dale and drink water in the RV. She was begrudged to admit that she enjoyed the old man's company. He kind of reminded her of what her grandfather would have been like. She never really knew her 'Papa'; he had died when she was about seven or eight. Either way, Dale reminded her of that little inexperienced memory. He knew what had happened between her and the redneck. He never let on that he knew but she could tell by the odd smile that he was sharing with her that he was more than aware of what had transpired. She made a mental note to ask him how he had figured it out.

She let out a quiet huff as she pulled out her pack of cigarettes. Smoking in a wooden stable full of hay really didn't seem like the smartest idea she had ever had but it certainly wasn't her worst. She was about to light up when she heard the racket of all rackets in the stall beside her.

"P-please! Don't hurt me!" a voice pleaded from somewhere out of sight.

She hit the decks as quietly as she could, pressing her face against the wall where her eye could peer through the cracks. She spotted Daryl. What the frig was he doing in the stable? Her one peeping eye shifted to another figure. It was another male… He was younger… Dark hair…

She barely stifled a gasp. She knew that face! She knew his name!

He had been with Merle's group…

She sat crouched in horror as Daryl kicked Randall in the face. What was wrong with him? Why was he hurting that guy? She took a frightened step back, unable to process what had become of the man who had turned her into a blissful child for the past couple of days. She couldn't just leave the stable, Daryl would know she had been there! He would be royally pissed if he knew that she had been present to witness this obvious case of bullying. No, she had better sit through it and pray that she wouldn't have to report a murder to Rick. With nothing but a pounding heart and a prayer she covered her ears and waited for someone else's torture to end.

o-o

She ran a finger over the scar on her left shoulder cautiously, as if touching it would reopen the wound and change her fate. She almost wished it would. Maybe, only if she could change destiny, she wouldn't be so burdened with secrets; perhaps she wouldn't feel so different.

"Are you alright?"

Kailey jumped in surprise before she realized she was safe in the RV with none other than Dale. When it was over and Daryl had left poor Randy bleeding and petrified on the floor, Kailey fled. In retrospect, she should probably have run for the hills but this place seemed safest. She let out a halfhearted smile to ease the old man's worries, trying to cover her past as discreetly as possible.

"Are you hurt? What is that?"

"'M fine…" she warned.

He gave her a disbelieving look but didn't press the argument any further.

She looked at him with nothing short of appreciation before rising, wiping her eyes as she stood. "Thanks, Dale…"

He offered her a kind smile before picking up his book and making a face. "I hate this damn thing… Only read it about a thousand times…"

Suddenly, she was struck with the idea of the millennia.

o-o

"Glenn, I promise I won't be gone long!" she pleaded, actually folding her hands together as if in prayer. "Just kind of, you know, distract him for me long enough to do what I have to do!"

"No," Glenn repeated for the third time.

Kailey pouted. Glenn had been so different lately and not in a good way. It was starting to infuriate her beyond all belief. She narrowed her eyes and scowled as she crossed her arms over her chest. He passed her an annoyed glance before shaking his head one last time and turning away from her. She adjusted her backpack on her shoulders.

"Look, are you gonna make a cigarette run for me then?" she huffed, stomping her foot in a manner that no woman with her IQ level should. "Don't think so!"

Glenn's face turned towards her with a scowl. "I'm kind of missing the Kailey that couldn't talk right about now."

"Fuck off, walker bait," she hissed before twisting on her heels and walking off, casually throwing the Asian the finger as she went. "Pretend this conversation never happened. I've got shit to do!"

o-o

Within a matter of hours, Kailey had hit the jackpot. She had found this hick town's equivalent of the Home Depot and grabbed gear for the whole group, large and small! For herself, she had found a most amazing assortment of knives and one badass machete that made her want to squeal. She had found a small collection of firearms and a huge cache of ammo that shouldn't have surprised her considering how tightly the place had been locked up. Fortunately, Kailey knew her way around a lock. This is not what she had originally been searching for but she knew that it would definitely earn her brownie points with at least Shane or Andrea. She had also picked up several unopened boxes of granola and protein bars.

With lighter feet than she thought she had, she lugged three impressively stuffed duffle bags to the small car she had found on her walk into town. It was a gorgeous little Ford Focus complete with a gas tank that was practically full, keys in the ignition and, the most exciting part for the wayward explorer, an iPod charger. A wide grin spread across her face as she spotted her iPod, plugged in and waiting for her return to the steering wheel. Oh how she had missed music!

Smiling she tucked her new toy, the machete to be precise, into its holder that was now attached to her belt. This son of a bitch was really gonna come in handy for her. No more defenseless little smarty pants Kailey! She was gonna take this nasty apocalypse head on! She was going to clobber every single walker's ass on the planet. But in order to do that she needed two more things: cigarettes, and a hell of a lot of booze.

Her third mission would be books. To be honest, books really weren't going to be difficult to find. All she would need to do was get into any common home or retail location and grab what she could without being eaten alive doing it. Breaking and entering would be easy; she just had to hope that the mister and missus were out for lunch. Her face turned suddenly grim as she realized that her joke was a little uncalled for.

She snuck past a rouge walker as it hobbled its way down the street. To the bar!

She snuck in through the back door. There floor was littered broken glass and bullet casings. Shit was fucking everywhere! What the hell had gone down here? She hid a gasp and a terrified heartbeat as she heard an odd shuffling sound in the room before her. Oh frig…

There was a wet, indiscernible noise that sounded like wet socks being squished in a sneaker. No, it sounded like… Aw, hell, she couldn't find the words to describe it. Taking a deep breath, she gripped the handle of her new machete and held it like a baseball bat.

Monsters.

That's what she had called them before the rest of the human population began to call them Walkers. She called them for what they were; nasty, vile, treacherous monsters. These were the things that made her hide under her covers as a child, what made her terrified to sleep at night. Anything that could keep you from sleep was nothing short of a monster.

She gripped her machete like it was a baseball bat and rounded the corner; praying that her softball instincts would kick in any moment. She froze however as the putrid figures in front of her rose hastily from the ground.

Dave.

Tony.

She could see stains on their clothes from the bullet wounds that had supposedly taken their lives. If they had died from a round to the chest how were they coming after her now? Why weren't they at peace? They shouldn't be moving!

Kailey ran out of the bar and into the car before the bodies from Philly could get within arm's length of her. She knew that she should have hacked their brains out but she didn't. Logic said that she should clean up the mess that Dave and Tony had become but she didn't have it in her. More importantly, there shouldn't be a mess to begin with. Those two were supposed to have been shot. This obviously meant that it had been the bullet wounds that had killed them.

So why the fuck did they turn?

o-o

She pulled up the dirt driveway and raced to Dale's camper, knowing that it was the only place he could be. She was alarmed to find it was empty. Where on earth could he be? Who else could she confide in about Tony and Dave's fate? She frowned and stepped outside the Winnebago. She decided that it would be best to wait for him to come to her than her searching for him in the dark of the night. No matter how safe the farm promised to be, the dark still made her nervous. She pulled her pack of cigarettes out from her pocket and pulled one out, pausing to light it.

Then she heard the shouts for help.

Dropping everything in her wake she raced towards the cries, unsheathing her weapon as she went. She prayed to get there in time. Please, just get there in time. The run felt so short but by the time she arrived the damage was already done.

Dale lay on the ground gasping like a fish out of water. In sheer horror she stared at his stomach which had been torn open, revealing his insides and oozing blood and stomach contents. He looked terrified as he watched her through his wild eyes. There was a crowd forming now around him but he kept his eyes on Kailey and opened and closed his mouth over and over. The occasional moan would escape his lips, rendering Kailey helpless to say or do anything.

Andrea's cries infiltrated her ears. "He's suffering! Somebody do something!"

Petrified eyes were boring into her skull.

Daryl knelt down beside him.

Kailey shut her eyes tightly.

"I'm sorry, brother."

With a crack it was over.

Now what could she do? She stood there, absorbing Dale's face with a bullet hole through it. There was more than just guts pooling around him now, brain matter was splattered everywhere. The sight made her want to be sick but what good would that do? It would only add to the gore surrounded the entire group. She lifted her gaze, trying to find something, anything, else to look at. Then she saw it.

The walker.

He was hideous in every way imaginable even as he lay still in final slumber. Swallowing back the bile in her throat she walked around the group of mourners and approached the body. Someone else had killed it before she could. Before she could even think about what she was about to do, she raised her machete high over her head.

With an enraged scream she swung low, spraying her body with the warm and decayed fluids and organs that had liquefied and melted together. She was supposed to have gotten Dale new books today. With a ragged moan she bashed at the walkers face; nearly slicing it off. He killed Dale. If this didn't avenge his death she couldn't imagine what would. She held the bloody machete again, unable to resist the urge to violate the mutilated mass of flesh that lay at her feet. Her clothes were soaked in its infected blood but it didn't matter to her. She hated every last one of them. She would destroy every walker she could just like she did this one.

"Put it down, Kailey," a voice called out.

She shook her head and continued to hack away that the monster at her feet. No, she would not stop until she had minced this demon into nothing. Suddenly two arms crept up from behind her and wrenched her precious knife from her grasp, covering her mouth to muffle her shrieks. Daryl held her close to his chest.

"C'mon, ya need to get outta here," he soothed. "Let's get ya cleaned up."

As he passed by Dale's body she dared one final peek. His eyes were still wide open and staring right at her.

In that moment she knew that there really was not a damn thing she, or anyone else for that matter, could do and she crumpled under the weight of that.

Sorry guys! I had a serious case of writers block! Not to mention I started a new and better job where I can actually afford to you know, live. Which I feel is kind of important...

BUT THAT IS NO EXCUSE!

I watched the black and white premiere of the pilot episode and it sparked something in me. I pushed through the block, as awkwardly written as it was, I have finally finished this god forsaken chapter that I have been avoiding for months!

And can I just say... WHY DALE?

Last but not least, I have approximately thirty-seven and two thirds of an idea for this story so there is a really good chance that I am going to take this story away from the show and post a little more often. But I will explain all of that later!

Thank you for being patient and loving this story! I honestly do appreciate it! (:

Let me know if this chapter was worth the wait! :D

-kimmy