Chapter 10: Confessions

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to the great Stephenie Meyer. Neither do I own the poetry written in this chapter. I also don't own any song or lyrics that are sung, played, or quoted in this chapter. No copyright infringements are intended.

Chapter Summary: Bella and Edward share an intimate moment. She finally begins to allow him into her heart.

To my Readers/Reviewers: I first want to thank you for taking out your precious time to read my story. I know there are thousands of great fics out there, but you chose mine and I'm honored. Second, I love to read your reviews. They warm my heart and make me feel all warm and tingly inside. I try to answer each one.

To my Beta, Dee: Thanks BB! I had no confidence in this chapter and you reassured me several times throughout that all was well. I also appreciate you for helping me tighten up my grammer. I'm going for no grammer edits. Ha!

To my pre-readers: robinsff, TWILIFE2011, niccib23. You girls help to encourage me when I fell like I'm not making any sense. Thanks for your suggestions and for the love.

A/N: I wanna say that I'm so appreciative for all of the love that I've received on my little story. You guys have PM'd me, left reviews, said sweet words on Twitter and I have to say that I'm honoured.

Ooh… one more thing. I'm on Twitter at mydaughterbella and on facebook at "Mydaughterbella Fanfic Recommendations" Friend me at either or both places. I love to be silly and laugh. You'll also probably love my girls on there. A day doesn't pass when someone doesn't do something silly and make us laugh. Here's the girls. Let's see if I can name everyone. roon0 – our leader – all hail Roony Patoony, kewlwhip76, TWILIFE2011, parsonsapril, pixiebella88, niccib23, sleeptalker1, aiculairum, robinsff I think that's it. These girls are the awesomest! Is that a word? *shrugs* dunno. Ha! Anyway… most of them write and you can hit them up on twitter to get their links.

Alright, I think I've gotten it all out. Read now, damnit!

Bella was happy to see Edward. She heard his car pull up and had the door open when he walked up. She actually smiled at him and asked if he was hungry. He really wasn't, but there was no way he was passing up an opportunity to eat her food. If it tasted half as good as the breakfast, she definitely had a forever admirer of her cooking.

"You know, Charlie was right. You are a great cook," he said as he shoved in another mouthful of vegetable soup and grilled cheese. "I can barely cook scrambled eggs. Could you teach me?"

She giggled and agreed to teach him. "Maybe in the morning; I can prepare it before you go to work. First, you watch me do it then tomorrow I'll help you. You'll have it after that."

He filled his mouth with more food then swallowed—moaning after each taste. "Don't worry about getting up early. I'll go in later."

"Edward, Charlie's appointment with you is at nine o'clock," Bella reminded him.

"Well, I'll be there for nine then I'll go with you to chemo."

"We'll have to ride with you if that's alright."

"Of course. Is there something wrong with your truck?"

"Yeah, it died. I was supposed to go look for one today but with Charlie feeling so bad I decided against it."

"Why didn't you share that with me when we talked this evening?"

"Edward, you can't save me from everything. I knew it was only a matter of time before she died anyway," she said sadly.

"Yeah, I understand, but I want to 'save' you. I want to take care of you. You have to know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you or your father. Plus, if we're still planning on being together, you better get use to it. What kind of car do you like? I'd like you to drive something nice. My dad would have ten fits if he knew I had you driving something old or broken down. He always believed in keeping my mom in a nice car. It didn't have to be expensive but nice. I'd like to do that for you. Will you let me?"

"Edward, I don't know. You've given me so much already. When you finish, I'll owe you twenty more years of my life," she smiled. "… on top of my promised ten."

"I hope you'll stay longer than that, Bella. I have no intention of letting you go once I have you."

"Edward, stop. You don't even know me. I'm not the sweet girl you think I am."

"I know, but your feistiness is adorable. It's what made me first notice you. So, I'm buying you a car tomorrow, alright." He continued eating then moaned loudly.

"Let's talk about it tomorrow," she said blushing. The way he moaned sent warm shivers through her body. She felt aroused and was ashamed.

"Okay, but there's really nothing to talk about. You need a car and I'm buying you one. Simple as that."

"Edward..."

"So, do you like any particular car?"

"Edward..."

"Get over it, Bella. If you don't communicate with me then I'll just buy you an Escalade."

"No you won't. I won't drive it."

"You will when there's nothing else to drive. So, car or SUV?"

She sighed. "Car, and no, I don't like anything in particular."

"Do you wanna go and pick it? Or you want to leave that to me?" He smiled innocently.

"Oh, hell no. I'm definitely going. You'll show up with a Mercedes or something crazy if I don't."

Edward smiled outwardly and within. He'd actually won an "argument" with Bella. It just seemed to be too easy.

When he finished eating, they went upstairs to check on Charlie. He was still fast asleep so they went in Bella's room.

"Bella, get ready for bed. I'll watch Charlie," Edward told her.

She readied herself then lay in the bed. Before her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.

Edward sat in the rocking chair next to her bed and watched her sleep. She was so beautiful and looked so peaceful. He made an attempt to hold a mental picture of her at that moment. He always wanted to remember how beautiful she looked that night. He wondered if the gooey feeling inside mixed with constant butterflies was really an indication of love. He had no idea being that he'd never allowed his heart to open to anyone before.

After a while, he left her and went in Charlie's room. Charlie must've sensed Edward's presence and woke up.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have work in the morning?" Charlie asked fussing.

"I do but Bella was really tired so I volunteered a shift."

"I don't need you or her watching me while I sleep," Charlie stated rather annoyed. "I'm grown. I'm not a child."

"Charlie, I know, but she's worried about you and she refused to sleep until I got here."

"I'm so worried about her. She's giving you a hard time, isn't she?" Charlie asked.

"Well, yesterday, yes. Last night, no. Did you know I stayed here last night?"

"Yeah, Billy told me Jake was pissed." He laughed. "Where did you sleep?"

"In Bella's bed and Bella slept in the front room. Well, kind of. In the middle of the night, she had a bad dream. It must've shaken her up really good because next thing I knew, she was snuggling close to me – asking if it was alright." Edward smiled at the memory.

Charlie's eyes almost bucked right out of his head. "What?" he asked quietly in disbelief.

"Yeah. I wrapped my arms around her and slept the rest of the night like that. Believe me I was just as shocked as you. She told me she'd try to work it out with me… be nicer. She admitted she's never needed anyone other than Jacob before – I know it's hard for her," Edward whispered, hoping Bella wasn't eavesdropping.

"What's gotten into my daughter?" Charlie chuckled then covered his mouth because he was too loud. "I'm so happy, Edward. I really don't want her to be alone. She depends so heavily on our relationship with hope that I'll be here. Truth is, Edward, I'm dying."

"Charlie, they've come a long way with your cancer treatment. Many people survive for many years after proper treatment. Don't give up on her – or me."

Charlie furrowed his brow at Edward in annoyance. "Edward, you're a doctor. I know you've researched this disease at length. People don't survive this cancer at stage four. Don't lie to yourself and please don't lie to me."

Edward put his head down. "Charlie, look. All I'm saying is don't give up. It could mean the difference between your living until next year as opposed to next week. We still need you. Don't you want to see Bella marry me after I beg her?" Edward chuckled.

"Of course I do. I'll never give up willingly. I can't think of anything that'll make me happier than to see you two get hitched. I'd die knowing I didn't let my Renee down or Bella."

"I think it'll all work out," Edward admitted. "I'll make her happy, Charlie." Charlie smiled and nodded - satisfied.

They talked for a while then Edward went to sleep on the recliner in Charlie's room. In the middle of the night, Bella woke up and went to find Edward and check on Charlie. Both were fast asleep. She nudged Edward to wake him then led him quietly to her room. She took his shoes off and pulled the covers back for him to lie down then pointed for him to get in.

Edward scooted into the bed and held on to the edge. He hadn't realized before that he was a little tipsy from his three glasses of Petron. His head was swimming rather badly. He waited to feel Bella get in the bed but instead, he heard a door close. He lay there for a couple of minutes then got up to go downstairs to find her preparing some coffee to help with his hangover.

He startled her when she looked up and found his tall figure standing over her.

"Why are you down here?" he asked as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Sleeping. It didn't seem right to have you sleep in that chair."

"Yeah, but you can have your bed or you can sleep with me. I told Charlie. He knows I'll do the right thing."

"It's not that. Last night… after I felt your arms around me, I felt..." She paused.

"Warm, needed, loved, protected?"

"Yeah, all of that. It scared me. I really don't wanna to be hurt again… don't want my heart that involved right now." She shook her head. "It feels like it's all too much – like I don't have a grip on my own life."

"Bella, I'd never hurt you. I only want to see you happy," he said as he sat down on the coffee table in front of her. "Don't you see that?"

"I do… kind of, but Jake did too. He just needed other women to help him be happy. I just can't deal with that hurt again right now. I feel like I'll lose myself in it. Please try to understand."

Edward sighed. "I hate him for the way he's hurt you and all the other women. Just know… I'm nothing like him. I never was – not even in my worst days. I did bullshit that got me in trouble, but…"

Bella sighed then shook her head. "You know… um… we need to talk about that."

"Talk about what?" Edward asked confused.

"About your younger years."

"Oh. You're ready to tell me what's been told to you?" He tilted his head to the side. "I can't wait to hear this."

"Edward, you don't even know what I'm about to say and you're ready to deny it."

"It doesn't matter. Nothing I've ever done could've even remotely negatively crossed paths with you. Now, give it to me." He rubbed his hands together in confidence. He was excited to finally be getting this out in the open. It'd been too many years – so much wasted time.

"I will, but tomorrow. Get some sleep. We have a full day coming up."

"But…"

"Shhh… bed… now." She pointed upstairs. "I promise… we'll talk about it tomorrow."

"Alright. Bella..."

"Uh, huh…" she said drifting off.

"I love you," he stated sweetly. She popped her eyes open and looked at him surprised. He smiled. "I know you don't love me but I just wanted to tell you. You should know."

He stood up and walked back upstairs. He changed his mind about the coffee. Admitting his feelings pretty much killed his buzz. The more he thought about what he'd just told her, the more nervous and vulnerable he felt.

Bella still hadn't recovered from his words. She lay frozen for a while then she finally sat up. She was dumbfounded and she grabbed at her stomach. She couldn't understand why she felt her heart soften toward him after hearing those three words. She knew that she'd been cordial the past few days, but she wasn't trying to make him fall in love with her.

For her, even though Jake had done so many horrible things to her – and to others – she still couldn't see herself with anyone else. She still cared deeply for him whether she wanted to admit it or not. After all, it was only months prior that she'd talked about marrying him.

Edward was another story. She was finding it hard to be around him so much and not have feelings for him. He was extremely handsome, kind, considerate and really patient with her. He made her feel special and needed and she liked that. She even believed that he'd be faithful to her.

She thought back on the past weeks. She remembered talking to him about her mother and what her mother had seen in the two of them. She couldn't help but wonder if he really was her "prince charming," but she'd been too scared to notice him or let him be what she needed. She thought about the tears that always surfaced in his eyes when he spoke of her mother and the relationship he had with her father.

Her parents had judged their relationship perfectly and had taken out time in their lives to ensure her happiness with Edward. She had so much to lose if they were wrong. She just couldn't imagine herself being disappointed again. Jake had taken all of her fight and all of her dreams to bed with him and another woman and there was no way another man would do that to her.

When she finally went to sleep, her mind was still racing a million miles an hour. At some point, she felt herself being lifted from a surface. She couldn't tell whether it was in her dreams or real. Her mind had gone to a dark, scary place. Again, she was all alone and everyone she loved walked by then disappeared into the darkness. She was afraid and started screaming their names, hoping someone would come to help her. She heard Edward's voice breaking through the darkness calling her name, but he sounded so far away. She wanted desperately to reach him… to feel his arms around her… to hear him say he still loved her. He called her name several more times and she opened her eyes. He was there, standing right before her. The sun was shining brightly and color was everywhere around him.

"Bella! Bella! Wake up! You're scaring me! Bella!" Edward practically screamed at her. She opened her eyes and looked at him confused. "Bella, are you alright?" he asked again – this time with more urgency.

She looked around the room from where she lay and realized she was in her bedroom… on her bed. She shot up, bumping Edward's forehead with hers.

"Why am I in here? How'd I get here?" she asked angrily.

"Bella, you woke me up. You were downstairs screaming and crying in your sleep. I brought you up here to try to calm you but you wouldn't wake up. I just kept calling your name, hoping you'd come back to me." His face was so sincere and sweet. While he spoke, he kept rubbing her arm up and down, still trying to calm her. "I hate seeing you like that."

Bella blushed. "Oh, sorry. I guess I had another bad dream. Did I say anything other than my screams?"

"Yeah, you kept calling my name like you were looking for me or something. Bella, I'm here, and I promise I won't ever leave. I'll stay as long as you want me here."

"I know. I'm so messed up," she said, shaking her head.

"No. You were in love and got really hurt and you're afraid to be loved again or alone. It's understandable, but Bella, you don't have to be alone. You have someone that'll always love you, and do right by you. You just won't let me."

The sincerity in his eyes and voice softened her mood. She tried to look past his beauty into the man that she thought he was just days before, but she couldn't find him. The man standing before her loved her, desired her, and wanted only her.

"Can I ask you a question?" she hesitantly asked.

"Anything. I'll always be honest, even if I shouldn't. Bella, you know I have a spotted past but I've pressed through all of that, so go for it."

"Well, about five or six years ago, you dated a girl. She was sixteen years old, and you were twenty or twenty-one. She was my best friend and you hurt her. She said that you had sex with her, got her pregnant, and paid for her abortion. She also said that you wouldn't speak to her again after that. You treated her like she didn't exist. I even saw you at the mall one Saturday with your brother and when she spoke to you, you looked at her then ignored her. You never even acknowledged her."

Edward had sat up and hung his feet off the bed while she spoke then turned his back to her. He grew angrier and angrier with every word she spoke. By the time she finished, he had stood to his feet and was peering blankly out the window.

"Edward, you said you'd be honest."

He turned around to her angrily and sat in the chair close to her bed. "Bella, look, almost every word you just said is a damn lie. I can't believe you've been holding this against me all these years. You should've asked me. Goddamn it!" His eyes were red from anger and his hands were shaking.

"Bella, I took her out on one date. She lied to me, telling me she was eighteen or nineteen, I can't remember. At the restaurant, one of my father's friends was there and he pulled me to the side. He told me her real age and warned me to quickly get her home. We left immediately, and I took her to her mother's doorstep. I told her mother what happened and sincerely apologized.

I was in college and about to go to medical school at the time and couldn't afford anything like that on my record. Thankfully, her mother believed me. I told her I didn't want someone else telling her their version of what happened."

"What about the pregnancy?"

"Months later, my dad's same friend ran into me on the street and told me how lucky I was to not have gotten caught up with her. He said she had gotten pregnant and had snuck off to get an abortion with the boy. When you saw me at the mall, it was after I had found that out about the abortion. That girl scared me. That could've been me. My life would've been ruined."

"Well, I wonder who the boy was?" Bella questioned.

"I'll tell you if you want to know," he stated hesitantly.

"Of course I wanna know. My friend lied to me for no good reason and I've treated you like shit for years because of it. Who is he?" she practically shouted.

"Are you sure?"

"Edward! Tell me!"

"It's Black. Jacob Black."

Bella gasped, catching her mouth. She thought back to that time and tried to imagine how that could've happened. She thought Emily was the first that he'd cheated with but obviously there were many others. She looked back at Edward, shaking her head.

"I can't believe they'd do that to me. She had been my friend for years. We'd even bring her on dates with us so she could get out of the house. That motherfucker!"

"Bella, look, he doesn't know that I know that and you can't tell him I told you. You can question him about it but you can't tell him it came from me."

"Why?"

"I'm not supposed to ever mention this, so you can't ever repeat what I'm about to say. He'd have my career."

"What?"

He told her about Bree and the picture from college and how Jake had blackmailed him – forcing his silence.

"He's raped two women?"

"Well, one that I know of. Bree fought him off. The woman he raped was the one you heard him speak about the other night. She and I had a... relationship... if you'd call it that, for several years. When he found out about it, he took her out and when they got back to her place, he forced himself on her. He recorded the whole thing and threatened to post it on every floor of the courthouse if she ever said anything. He's a dirty motherfucker. That's why your relationship with him confuses me." He paused, shaking his head. "Anyway, later that night, I went to her house and she told me everything. She had to tell someone. She was so shaken up. She's a lawyer locally and just like me, couldn't afford for her reputation to be destroyed in this little town. She'd never recover from it."

"So, did you keep dating her after that?"

"Bella, we never dated. We had an… um… understanding and it worked for us both. And, yes, after a while, we had sex again for maybe another year or so. I broke it off about a year after your mother's death. I wanted to before, but it was hard for me to give it up – sex that is. I started wanting what your mother had promised me and empty sex wasn't enough anymore. I wanted more."

"Why give it up? I don't understand."

"Bella, before your mother, I never wanted to be in love or make love to a woman or be married. Now, don't get me wrong, I told you the truth about the number of women I've slept with, but I always thought I'd have one woman that could keep me satisfied. Variety was never my thing. If she could satisfy me the way I liked it, I found no need to venture out."

While Edward was talking, Bella thought about a conversation she had recently with Jake.

"Oh, my God," she said almost interrupting Edward. "Jacob asked me if I had told you about why I hated you. He was really pushy, but I wouldn't answer him. He was tryin' to find out if I knew the truth about what happened. I wonder if he told her to lie to me."

"Probably. I wouldn't put it past him."

"Edward, I'm so sorry. You are a good man. You've proven that to me over and over these past few weeks, and I refused to recognize it. Please forgive me." She lowered her eyes in shame as she realized all of the wasted time and effort that she'd put into hating him for nothing. She hated Jake for that and couldn't wait to finally face him on this issue.

He smiled shakily. "Does that mean we're friends? Truce?"

"Yeah, friends… no truce needed. I'm sorry, again." She smiled, hoping he'd easily forgive her but still hoping he'd kind of give her a hard time about it.

He didn't though. All was already forgiven. It annoyed him that he'd lost all of that time for nothing but he was extremely glad that it was behind them.

She went to shower and thought about all the information that Edward had given her. Her anger grew toward Jake. For years, she'd hated the wrong man. The man she loved was the real deceiver – the one that deserved her hate. She felt so stupid… defeated… naive. She had always known about the "bad boy" in Jake but she never thought he'd go that far. She knew then that every word they'd ever spoken in love was a lie. She knew he never loved her. He couldn't have. He'd hurt her so badly. Her heart felt like it crumbled within her.

She broke into sobs and fell to her knees – clutching her stomach. A cold shiver ran up her spine… hate… love. She had been wrong for so long about love and found herself in an all too familiar place again. She felt love for Edward this time and hated Jake, but she questioned that. She realized that she knew nothing about love… nothing. She wondered how in the hell had she'd gotten there. She didn't know who she loved or what was right. Things were so messed up.

She finished in the bathroom, got dressed, and headed downstairs. Edward heard her descent and went down to welcome her to sleep in her bed with him. He was happy for their breakthrough and hoped they could move forward. When they got upstairs, he wrapped his arms around her, kissed the back of her hair, said good night, and whispered, "I love you."

His admittance gave her butterflies again. Her mind was all over the place and her body was running a close second. Hundreds of emotions were running through her and she wanted to be closer to him. His touch always seemed to correct any wrong she was feeling and she wondered if he felt the same way. She turned over to face him – still in his arms.

"How do you know you love me?" she asked him sweetly. Her gaze was soft and loving.

"Well, I think about you all the time. When I'm away from you, I miss you. I crave your presence and your smile, and I've never seen anything more beautiful. My heart swells every time I think of you or touch you and I want to give you everything I have and everything I am to keep you happy. It has to be love. No one else has ever made me feel like that." He lightly shrugged. "I've never been in love but now that I am, I can't deny my heart."

His words were really heartfelt and they seemed right to her. He was willing to give her everything she had ever wanted from a man and she was sad to realize she almost lost him – for nothing.

She got very angry inside and tears streamed down her face. She wanted to thank Edward for being so patient with her, still finding it in his heart to love her through all her mess. She wanted to give a part of herself to him that Jake would never have appreciated. She felt herself in Edward's arms and imagined how wonderful it would be to allow her heart to love him.

She touched his face with her hand and lifted hers closer to his.

"Can I kiss you?" she asked.

He moved his hands up her back, pulled her closer then smiled.

The first peck on the lips sent warmth throughout her body and his. The mere contact had lit a fire between them and she wanted more. His lips lingered over hers as he sweetly placed little kisses against hers. She became impatient and firmly pressed her lips to his as she moved her body closer. When she swept her tongue across his, he smiled and allowed her in. He didn't want to rush her so he let her lead.

The kiss was slow but passionate and felt so right that nothing else around them existed. It deepened as the moments passed and he found himself moaning into her mouth. After a while, they broke for air and he kissed down her cheek but stopped himself before he went any farther. He knew that any more would take the kiss to another level and he wasn't sure what she was thinking.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered in her ear – his voice sounding raspy and wanting.

She shivered at the feeling of his warm breath on her cheek… her ear, then she smiled at the delicate way he placed his lips on her. She knew he desired her but he wasn't pushy. She remembered moments like that with Jake but it always felt rushed. He wouldn't take his time. He'd go straight to trying to undress her and she never liked that. Edward was different. He wanted more of her and he took his time. He made her feel special – almost like he was worshiping her lips and her body with just his touch.

She knew this was real and was no longer afraid to let him love her. When he went to kiss her lips again, she pulled him slightly on top of her and wrapped her arms tightly around his back – holding him close. For her, she'd never experienced such emotion during a kiss and she didn't want it to end. She wanted more of him.

She wanted to love him.

She began to feel her panties dampen and pulled back from the kiss.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked breathless.

"Yeah, I'm really turned on right now," she shamelessly admitted.

"Oh." He chuckled. She moved her arm from around his back and grazed the bulge that had grown between them then blushed. "Um… sorry. See what you do to me," he said as she blushed again.

He dragged the back of his fingers across her cheeks again. "Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Blush. It's beautiful but it confuses me. Are you embarrassed of your body? You shouldn't be. You're beautiful." She blushed again then put her eyes down – embarrassed to answer. "See, that's what I mean. Bella, look at me." She did as he asked. "Have you ever seen a man, naked? Have you ever been with a man?"

She blushed again. "Of course, I have." She looked down feeling uncomfortable. This was the last conversation she wanted to have with him. She was embarrassed and she knew he'd never believe her.

"Look at me, Bella. Are you a virgin, baby? You can tell me. I think it's a wonderful thing if you are." His heart was swelling at the thought of her being untouched… especially not by Jake. He suddenly felt excited.

"Edward, can we not talk about this? I'm uncomfortable."

"Alright," he agreed but he still looked at her suspiciously. "Good night." He turned over with his back to her as he held the edge of the bed.

He honestly didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted nothing more than to turn back over and hold her but she went so easily from hot to cold that he didn't want to push it and end up in an argument after finally feeling closer to her. He closed his eyes.

"Edward, please don't do that," she whined and rubbed his back.

"What?" he said smiling. He knew what she wanted but he wanted to hear her ask. He needed to hear it.

"Turn over and hold me. I love your arms around me." She scooted closer to him and placed her arm over his waist.

When he turned back around, she kissed him again, further deepening the kiss from before. She rubbed her hands all over his upper body and worked her tongue in his mouth in a way that left him breathless. She felt her panties dampening again but ignored it and pulled him even closer. She could feel his hardness pressing up against her thigh and she liked it. When he tried to reposition himself, she scooted even closer.

She slightly broke the kiss. "Don't do that," she requested. "Let me feel you. It's okay."

He tightened his hold around her and got lost in the kiss and the feel of the exposed skin on her lower back. He'd never felt skin that soft or a tongue that sweet. It stirred something in him that begged to be released – that untamed lion that he had no intention of allowing her to see.

"Bella..." he mumbled into her mouth then pulled slightly away. "Please stop. It's getting really hard to control myself. I wanna make love to you right now. Please," he said as he untangled her legs from around his. "You have no idea what I'd do to you right now. I can be really hungry and needy. I…"

"What if I want you to?" she asked.

"I still won't. We need to talk about that before we go that far. Besides, you can't even tell me if you're a virgin or not so I know you're not ready for that kind of sex."

"Why is that so important? What's the big deal? I want you." She pulled herself closer to him and tried to quickly deepen the kiss again and she ground her hips against him.

"Bella… no." He stilled her hips. "First, Charlie's in the next room and I'm sure you know just how loud sex can get. I don't think it'd warm Charlie's heart to know I was doing that to his daughter – especially if he could hear it."

Bella continued to try to convince him but he wasn't having it. He still believed she was a virgin. He knew that if he had sex with her the way he was feeling right then, he may not be as gentle as he needed to be. His erection was hard and needy and it'd been a long time since he'd been with a woman.

Bella became a little aggressive and wrapped her leg back around him and pulled closer again. She kissed down his jaw and sucked the tender area of his neck. He moaned at her attempts and pushed his hands up her back… causing her nightshirt to ride up. She felt so good – so soft… so sweet. He wanted more… so much more. When she cupped his erection, he froze. It was almost bittersweet. He wanted her hands there. It felt so perfect… so right. On the other hand, he knew he absolutely couldn't do it.

"Listen… wait," he begged. "When a woman loses her virginity, it's special and it needs to be done right – not like this. You can't have sex with a man your first time the same way you would if you'd done it ten times already. It'll be really tight, you'll bleed a little, and it'll hurt – probably a lot. It's only fair that the man knows so he doesn't hurt you. Furthermore, I don't mean to brag but I'm very well endowed and… just trust me. It'll take some time to get used to." Her mouth fell open.

"Oh, I knew that..." she said blushing. "...I mean about losing your virginity. Plus, I never said I was a virgin, anyway." He saw the blush and chuckled. He had his answer.

"Hey, you do know you can't hide it during sex, right? The blood will come and I would feel it even before that."

She ignored him and tried to wrap her legs back around him, but he stopped her.

"Bella, listen, there's nothing I'd like to do right now more than make love to you, but we really need to talk first. You need to understand me, too. If you don't stop, I'll go downstairs on the sofa."

"What about you?" she asked with her brows furrowed, ignoring the second part of what he said.

"I love sex. I can't think of many things that I enjoy more. But I've never made love to a woman before. I've never had to take my time. I had sex with a virgin one time, many years ago, and I rushed it. I still regret that today. We were both really young and neither of us knew what we were doing."

"Why haven't you made love to anyone?"

"It's too intimate. The women I had were all older than me. We needed each other for that one purpose and we went home when we finished. No feelings ever got involved. I wouldn't allow it. Not to mention… I've never been in love before."

"So… you want to make love to… me?" she asked shyly.

"Yes, I do, but I wanna do it right and I'd like to be married to you first. Bella, you think that I'll be your first but you're really mine. I've never wanted to do things the right way before and I've definitely never met a woman that I wanted to bring around my family… or marry. I wanna give you all of me and I never wanna see you unhappy again – like you are with him."

She smiled. "You want to bring me to meet your family? What would they think of me? What if they don't like me?"

"Bella, they'd love you just like I do and they'd know immediately that I'm serious about you since I've never brought anyone home before. I've never allowed anyone close enough to me to be able to meet nor form a relationship with my family. Now, turn over and go to sleep. We have a long day today." She kissed him again. She tried to deepen it but he pulled away and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, Bella. Good night."

They both went to sleep almost immediately. His arms felt so right around her body. She was happy again after so long. She wondered if she'd ever been happy.

Her heart felt so warm and tender from just his touch and she wanted to tell him that she loved him too but she didn't. She wanted to wait to be sure about her feelings for him. She didn't want to mislead him in any way.

That night, she got warm in his embrace and silently slipped out of his hold. She undressed down to her bra and panties then crawled back in the bed with him. She knew that at some point he'd wake up and find what she'd done. She hoped he'd change his mind about sex.

He did just that. Right after she fell back asleep, she stirred a little and he removed him arm from around her to allow her to settle comfortably. When he placed his arms back around her waist, he felt bare skin and he panicked.

His eyes shot open and his breath got caught in his throat. He ran his hands down her body and found that she'd somehow gotten almost completely undressed without him knowing.

"Bella?" he whispered then lightly shook her. "Bella," he said a little more forcefully.

She stirred a little then her eyes shot open. She knew what he wanted.

"Bella? Wake up," he whisper yelled.

"Mmm…" she responded like she was sound asleep.

"Bella, turn over to me."

When she did, he scooted close to her and pulled her in for a deep, rough, open-mouthed kiss. He knew he was treading on slippery ground but he felt confident that he could stop when he needed to.

As they kissed, he explored her half-naked body with his hands – rubbing and caressing.

At some point, she reached down and pushed her hand into his boxers. He didn't stop her. He wanted to know what her reaction would be. He continued kissing her then trailed wet kissed across her jaw, down her neck and across her chest.

He didn't want to touch her bare breasts or between her legs. He only wanted to feel her and let her feel him.

He had a raging hard-on for her and she soon found that out as soon as her hands found their purchase. She wrapped her little hands around his erection.

She gasped.

He smiled. "What?" He kissed her up her neck. He knew.

She froze. "Um…"

He kissed her lips. "Hmmm?"

She didn't return anymore kisses. He was peppering her lips with kisses and she just laid there.

"What is it baby?" He chuckled.

"You're right. Let's take this slow. That won't fit in me. Did it fit in anyone?"

He chuckled loudly. "Funny, Bella. Very funny."

She looked at him with the most beautiful, innocent brown eyes. "Seriously. You've hurt women like that?"

He smiled… flattered. "I don't think so but if you like, I could see if it'll fit in you."

Bella jumped out of the bed so fast he almost missed her movements getting out. She threw her night clothes back on and got back in the bed.

"I was just joking, baby. That's why I wanted you to wait. Now… please, let's get some sleep. I love you."

He tightened his arms around her again and they both easily slipped into a peaceful sleep.

There ya go! I know you guys are happy. She's softening even more and NicciB23, you've gotten your long awaited answer. Hahaha!

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FIC PIMPS: I'll start pimping two stories that I'm reading at the end of my chapters so be watching for it. I included the links to my Recc's this time. One of my reviewers requested it.

Ok all, here's the thing. I've been really busy and haven't started any new fics. Well, I have, but I'm not ready to pimp it yet. I'm only two chapters in. The others from previous chapters are really great and I still stand behind them. Sorry BBs, I'll have three ready for next time.

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Now, it's time to review. I've loved your words from the previous chapters and you all keep me encouraged. Mwah!

Reviewing is better than wrapping your little hand around Edward's large pecky and getting afraid it won't fit, right? Hahahahahaha! *deep breath* hahahahahahahaha! :D

Review Damnit! I need encouragement!