Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, this belongs to Bioware. Please enjoy.

Chapter 10: Missing.

Shepard ran through the halls of the hospital, the smell of anti-septic and the cocktail of medicines hung heavy in the air. Her armour nipping and chaffing against her skin, blood from her wound pooled in her boot making it feel like she was running through water with endless corridors. Her heart beat thundering in her ears while the screams and murmurs of nurses and patients clouded her mind. Thane's room was just up ahead and she didn't like what she was hearing through the fogged murmurs, complications during treatment. Not enough Drell blood, alert the family. When Shepard had heard she prayed to the spirits that it wasn't Thane but her chill told her that no matter how much she wished for it not to be true, it was.

Shepard stopped abruptly outside Thane's door, the muted silence slowly chocking the life from her body. The green holo lock mocking her almost laughing at her that her friend was dying and she couldn't do anything about it. Shepard brought a gloved hand to her cheek and started viciously rubbing away the hated tears from her cheeks, the harsh material of her under suit was great at deflecting small weapons fire and soaking up blood and to have a good grip on the handle of a gun but to use as a soft tissue was out of the question. Raw flesh replaced the trail of tears that stained her cheeks as she calmed her breathing.

"You can do this Shepard" She thought to herself. She battled with herself. But in the end Shepard pressed the green symbol in front of her and that's when her world stopped. A blue Drell stood in front of Thane as she slowly slipped off the mask that trapped Thane's sweet lips, Shepard looked at the Drell in front of her and her heart nearly fell out of his chest. Kolyat looked so much different than she remembered, granted he didn't have a Turian kneeling before him pleading for his life but back then his eyes held so much anger and torment that the Drell who stood in front of her now who had a pained but calm expression on his face looked nothing like the young man she remembered. Kolyat turned to see Shepard standing in the doors entrance and his expression softened in a way that would have made her heart melt if Thane had done it.

"Commander Shepard, my father said you were no longer imprisoned." Kolyat started but his eyes held a distant look about them like he was remembering the time when Shepard punched him in his jaw.

"You may not remember me, I'm…" Shepard didn't give Kolyat time to finish his sentence as she wrapped her arms round him and pulled him into a hug. Kolyat hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms round Shepard's small frame, still not believing that the Commander Shepard was hugging him.

"Of course I remember the Drell who used to insult me in messages he sent to his father, not to mention the only Drell I've ever punched in the jaw and left a bruise" Shepard smiled through the pain. Kolyat laughed before pulled away, Shepard looked at Thane. His eyes were closed but a smile played upon his lips, he was listening to the conversation. At least she knew she could say goodbye.

"He asked me to remove his mask. I…I don't think it will be very long" Kolyat choked as Shepard placed her hand on his arm before approaching Thane's side. Thane's eyes fluttered open as Shepard held back the tears and smiled back.

"Siha, it seems I've picked a bad time to leave" Thane spoke softly as his breathing laboured so much Shepard had to bite her lip to stop herself from collapsing. Shepard reached over and took his hand in hers and as she looked into his fading black orbs, their fingers intertwined.

"Hey, don't say that. You could never disappoint me Thane" Shepard smiled. Thane started to cough violently, his back arching as he tried to sit up and bring his hand to his mouth. Shepard eased his burden and placed a soothing hand on his back as she felt the sickly cough rip through his body.

"My apologies Siha, breathing is difficult" Thane gently gripped her hand that remained intertwined with his as Shepard fought hard to hold back the tears.

"You know you never told me what Siha means" Shepard spoke softly as Thane used his other hand to brush away the tears that filled her eyes. Shepard looked at him and his slight smile played on his lips but his chest rising and falling rapidly made Shepard's breath hitch in her throat.

"Siha. One of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector." Thane spoke, straining his voice as Shepard felt a lump form and grow in her throat. All this time he thought of her like that, something so deep so spiritual that it almost felt romantic. Shepard felt her walls crumble around her as the tears started to flow, each one landing on the bed sheets like a rain drop.

"Somehow I don't feel worthy of such a title. I didn't protect you very well" Shepard choked. When suddenly Thane pulled her down into his arms and hugged her close to his body. Shepard tried to escape his embrace so that she didn't hurt his chest and also she didn't end up with a rash for the next few days but Thane kept his strong arms round her frame.

"Thane, I don't want to hurt you…"

"Do not blame yourself for my passing Shepard; this was going to come no matter how much we tried to stop it." Thane spoke softly in Shepard's ear; Shepard stilled before falling gently on to his chest and sobbed slightly. Everything she had done for him. Getting Mordin to try and find a cure, helping Thane with his condition via sparing with him or generally looking after him during his time on the Normandy was slowly fading away with each breath he could manage. All that effort wasted expect for a few more months.

"I'm sorry Thane" Shepard sobbed as Thane's fingers ran through her hair trying to calm her.

"There is something I must do…" Thane entered another bout of coughing making Shepard spring up from his chest and help try to calm his breathing.

"Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I asked forgiveness. Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand-" Thane coughed again and gripped Shepard's hand. Shepard watched as Thane tried to stop the speckles of blood that flew from his lips with each cough. Shepard reached over to a nearby table and pulled out one of the many tissues that covered the surface, she wiped the blood from his mouth as Kolyat spoke the rest of the prayer in Thane's stead. The pure white fabric stained with royal red dot and smears mocked Shepard as she crumpled the offending linen in her hand before throwing it away, Thane stoked her knuckles as he looked at her. Emotions flew across her face at such a speed he was having trouble figuring out what she was thinking but the waves of the ocean grew ever louder and he knew his time was almost up. He gripped Shepard's hand tighter as she clasped his hand with hers, tears flying down her face as she gritted her teeth making Thane reach up with his free hand and wipe away the tears that danced down her reddening cheeks. Shepard stayed still as she felt his cool hand gently caress her face.

This isn't happening. Not Thane too. Please not Thane. Shepard screamed in her mind praying to Arashu, the spirits anyone who would listen but her thoughts fell on deaf ears and silent laughs greeted her soul mocking her lack of strength to save those who are dear to her. Then a heavy hit nearly made Shepard collapse, what if she lost Garrus? What if Cerberus went after him to get to her? She wouldn't be able to live if she lost Garrus she barely survived six months without him.

"I brought a prayer book…" Kolyat suddenly appeared at Shepard's side clutching a beautiful engraved, leather bound book within his skilled hands. Shepard snapped out of her painful trance as her hollow eyes found Kolyat's features.

"Commander, will you join me?" Kolyat turned the pages of the book to find the prayer as Shepard nodded. Shepard looked back at Thane who was giving her a soft smile as she stepped back, still clutching his hand while her eyes skimmed over the words. At first she thought the book would be in Drell but Kolyat was kind enough of give her the human translation.

"Kalahira, this one's heart if pure, But beset by wickedness and contention" Kolyat's voice spoke softly as if he had been reading the prayer for years, maybe he had for himself or for Thane but as the book was passed to Shepard she gripped Thane's cool hand a bit tighter.

"Guide this one to where the traveller never tires, a lover never leaves, the hungry never starve" Shepard spoke. Her voice cracking with each word as she felt her throat closing in on itself.

"Guide this one Kalahira and…she will be companion to you as…she was to me" Tears rolled down her face as she looked across to Thane. His eyes closed, his breathing stilled, his smile frozen in time. Shepard felt her throat clench as she collapsed to her knees her forehead resting against the back of Thane's hand. He was so cold now; she couldn't believe he could be this cold because she was always so warm or cool. But one thing stood out in her mind the prayer she just spoke with Kolyat, it didn't make sense.

"Kolyat, why did…the last verse…say she?" Shepard choked out the words as she looked over her shoulder towards the blue Drell. Kolyat approached the shivering woman, she looked like she was going to fall apart by a mere touch but she placed his hand over her shoulder. He was surprised with all the emotion Shepard was showing for his father, he thought that Shepard had just used him like a tool to fight whatever suicide mission he was on at the time then after they came back alive she threw him away and only came to visit him out of guilt or something. But she was almost falling apart with tears for his father that made him to rethink everything about the Commander.

"The prayer wasn't for him Shepard, he has already asked for forgiveness." Kolyat squeezed Shepard shoulder lightly as his black orbs gazed deep into her water windows to the soul that was currently in a state of turmoil.

"The prayer…was for you Commander" Kolyat said. Shepard's eyes went as wide as sauce pans as the tears flew down her cheeks before a scream tore through her body. All the pain she felt from losing Thane to Cerberus before his time, losing her best friend after everything she tried to do to keep him safe. Kolyat stepped forward and wrapped his arms round Shepard bringing her into a cool embrace as she screamed more.

Throughout of the hospital, Shepard's screams and cries could be heard. For a moment the residents of the hospital mourned with her, nurses and doctors bowed their heads in silence as one of her patients passed while visitors and patents felt their own pain from losing someone they loved rise back to the surface. Shepard's scream tore through the silent stillness of the hospital like a haunting ghost moaning for a lost love. In one room Kaidan sat on a bed listening to the sounds of a woman screaming her pain to the galaxy, the weight of his own grief suddenly became heavier masking the pain of his knee where Shepard's bullet was still implanted into his flesh. He needed to do something to show Shepard that he trusted her knowing that all trust she had for him was probably shattered and thrown away.

)_)

Joker sat in the cockpit of the Normandy, the annoyance of blinking light and information scrolling down every screen as he sat in his chair slowly sipping away at his drink, was softened by the presence of EDI sitting in the chair next to him as she ran system checks on the Normandy's hull. The Normandy itself was quiet, the crew of the old Normandy were waiting for news on Thane and even though everyone knew that EDI could just hack into the hospital computers and get the records or video footage it seemed she was stopping herself from doing so. James and Javik returned from the Citadel like it was just another mission fighting Cerberus troops and their armour just got scuffed but Garrus had a haunted look in his eyes and the fact that Shepard wasn't back yet didn't do much to help the situation. The only information they had to work with was Udina was dead thanks to Shepard and the council was saved again making Joker think that the council should open an I.O.U account for the amount of times Shepard had saved them.

"Jeff, Shepard is returning" EDI spoke suddenly breaking Joker out of his solemn trance and taking a quick look at the ship security cameras outside. Shepard was indeed walking back to the Normandy but something seemed off.

"EDI, link to Shepard's armour and give me a reading" Joker asked as he continued to watch his friend walk on unsteady legs towards the Normandy's doors.

"Scanning…heart rate elevated, blood pressure low, physical stress…high" EDI ran the numbers across one the empty screens while Joker cursed for being a cripple but there was one person he should call. Joker opened up the intercom to the main battery.

"Garrus you better get up here"

"How bad is she?" Garrus sounded more than concerned and worried as his voice rattled over the speaker.

"She's not looking good Garrus…something must have happened"

"I'm on my way"

)_)

Shepard stumbled her way to the Normandy's doors, her head felt dizzy from the blood lose and her throat felt sore from the crying and screaming she did at the hospital. In the end the doctors had asked her to leave because she was causing distress to the other people at the hospital. Shepard complied and even though Kolyat had offered to take her back to the ship she said that he needed to stay with his father and not take care of a broken solider. Broken solider that's what she was. She had lost her second father while he tried to save the Krogan and correct his mistake and now she had lost her best friend who was trying to protect her from another assassin sent by the blasted Illusive man. Everything was against Shepard in this war and the tide of pain and endless emotion started to grate against Shepard leaving her with open wounds and drained of energy. But now Shepard started to fear what would happen to Garrus, if Cerberus was going after the people who were close to her they might do something to Garrus or what if the Reapers got him and turned him into one of those Turian husk things. Would she be able to shoot him down? What if she turned into one of those Husks and Garrus was forced to shoot her? Images of Reapers turning both her and Garrus into husks while questions flew through her mind before she fell on her knees, letting burning skin meet the freezing metal, bile formed in her mouth as she tries to force it back down into the abyss that was her stomach. She could feel her mind splitting under the pressure of the war and the pressure of Cerberus having their own agenda wasn't helping things. Her thoughts turned to Javik, he mentioned that his people split into groups ones that fought the Reapers while others tried to do worship them or something, she wondered who this cycle would fail like the Protheans. Suddenly she was picked up in a pair or warm arms while someone's purring vibrated through her body comforting her slowly. Shepard felt her own purring rumble through her throat as her body sank into the feeling of his plated chest and his mandibles flicking against her hair.

Garrus held her close to his body; he could smell Thane all over her but her tears caught in his chest making his chest tighten. She didn't need to tell him that Thane had passed on. As he retreated back into the Normandy he gave Joker a pointed look, Joker nodded. Garrus didn't stick around to hear Joker ask Cortez to make another plate for the memorial wall for Thane. He entered the elevator and pushed the button to Shepard's room.

"At least he's not suffering now" Shepard broken voice sounded in the hollow space. The elevator moved so slow it was almost painful, Thane's scent clung to her body and Garrus could see a rash spreading across her face. All he wanted was to get her in the shower and wash off the invading male's scent but he had to go at her pace so not to seem jealous or possessive. Garrus lent in close and nuzzled her temple.

"I'm sorry Shepard" Garrus spoke calmly as Shepard moved her body close into his.

"Garrus, I'm scared…" Shepard spoke her eyes connecting with his and what Garrus saw in those eyes made his instincts kick into gear. Her blue eyes looked glassy with tears, the depth of the frozen land that was held in her eyes looked colder than physically possible and the lights of the elevator made the tears in her eyes shine like the few places he's seen with snow.

"What if Cerberus comes after you next…if they get you I don't know what I'll…."Shepard words were cut off when Garrus presses his lips to hers hard. When the elevator doors finally opened Garrus stormed out and into their room almost slamming Shepard against the void of a fish tank. His growling made Shepard's heart skip a beat.

"EDI, Lock Shepard's door" Garrus growled out and out of the corner of her eye she saw the green holo symbol turn a vivid red. When she turned her eyes back towards Garrus she was leaning over her using his high against her making her feel smaller than she was.

"Where is my mate?" Garrus growled making Shepard snap out of her fear stricken trance.

"Garrus, what are you…"

"Where is my MATE?" Garrus shouted as he punched the glass behind her. Shepard felt fear rip through her body as she looked at the angry Turian above her.

"I'm here Garrus" Shepard tried to sooth him but Garrus backed away from her hand and suddenly wrapped his talons round her neck, the tips grazing against her skin dangerously close to her main artery.

"You are not my mate. My mate is strong, powerful and always smiling no matter what. She gets embarrassed easily and gets injured so many times that it makes my heart jump in my throat. You are not my mate" Garrus growled out. Shepard felt angry, had she changed so much? No. She was still the same woman that fought Saren and came out with only a broken arm. Fought of hundreds of Geth and crazed Krogan. The same woman who went through the Omega 4 relay and kicked the Collectors right in the daddy bags. She was the same woman survived Akuze when everyone around her lay dead. She was his mate.

Garrus saw the fire return to her eyes as she remained silent, a small smile played upon her lips and Garrus knew then she was back. Removing his hand from her neck and cupped her face and gazed into her eyes.

"There you are" his voice rumbled through his chest as he began to purr. Shepard smiled and purred back before she leant towards him and kissed his mandible. Garrus purred deep as he leant into the touch of lips.

"I bet I stink of Thane, let me get a shower" Shepard smiled before she shuffled past him. Garrus watched her walk away to the bathroom with hunger in his eyes before he went and sat down on the bed.

Shepard stepped into the shower room peeling off her armour and feeling the relief as each layer fell to the floor. The prayer that Thane had chosen for her played in her head, the words comforting yet saddening but after Garrus' telling off she found her will to fight again. Smiling she tore off her under suit and stepped into the spraying water letting the blistering heat burn her skin and soak her hair. She will fight to protect Garrus and her friends from the Reapers and Cerberus even if it killed her and she was going to stick it to the Illusive man where it hurt and she would get revenge for Thane against the man in black and she will give him the most painful death she could think of. Shepard finished her shower and started to dry her body and hair with vigour, completely missing how her skin tore the soft fabric and the way her body seemed more defined in areas of her arms and back. Her slimming waist allowing her hips to jut out slightly and her bond mark standing out more prominently on her skin instead of the mad red scar that it usually was, she missed everything as she dried her body before stepping out the room seeing Garrus sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.

Garrus heard Shepard approaching slowly and the thoughts that once occupied his mind of trying to protect Shepard even more went straight out of his head when he saw her. She was beautiful and his bond mark standing proud upon her skin made his plates shift.

"Garrus, you ok?" Shepard asked as her blue eyes shone with concern. Garrus stood up as he began to tower over her and brushed his talon along his bond mark making Shepard shiver. Garrus smiled as he pressed lips to hers as she wrapped her arms round his neck and kissed him deeper.

"I'm fine, just glad to have you back" Garrus teased as Shepard gave him a pointed glare. Garrus chuckled and pulled her closer to his body by the waist making Shepard moan slightly, Garrus took his chance and licked along her neck.

Shepard felt like she was on fire already, his rough tongue licking against her pulsing vein as his talons nipped at her skin under the towel. Her hands followed the cracks of his plating under his shirt until she rubbed under his fringe with her long fingers, Garrus purred heavily as he nipped at her neck while his hands moved her body until they cupped her breasts. Shepard bit her lip to bite back a moan as he began to knead her flesh slowly making her nipple hard under the towel. Garrus growled at the invading fabric and tore the towel away from her body exposing Shepard's scared skin to the cold air, her nipples instantly getting hard and what she called goose bumps forming along her skin and as Garrus looked at her form his plates fully shifted.

"Garrus your in too many clothes" Shepard growled out making Garrus smile and tower over her. Shepard met his gaze before placing her hands on his chest and reached up to lick along his scared mandible. Garrus purred allowing Shepard to continue. She dragged her tongue along his jaw and nipped at the edges while her hands ran up his neck, kneading the soft flesh while searching for the damned zipper to his shirt.

"Here" Garrus chuckled before stepping back and unzipped the complicated bit of clothing. As soon as his plates were exposed to the cold air Shepard's mouth was on his soft flesh making his body shiver with delight. Shepard moved her lips lower down his body, kissing his waist and hips while leaving little bite marks in his skin that would fade in the morning. Garrus' hand ran through her hair making Shepard purr lustfully, awakening Garrus' primal nature. Shepard grinned to herself as she heard Garrus take an intake of breath and his body grow ridged and before she had her chance to unhook his pants she was picked up and tossed on the bed with Garrus on top of her and her nipple latched in his mouth sending her body into frenzy of heat and pleasure.

In the void of their room with the fish tank lighting the blank walls and blinking console, they made love. Not a simple blowing off steam session in the main battery but with every touch told each other how much they loved each other. How much they would protect each other from this war and how much they would fight for each other. For that moment the war was forgotten and everything seemed peaceful. That is everything on the outside was peaceful but everything within Shepard was anything but.

)_)

The next few days Shepard was jumping back and forth helping with the Krogan force on Palaven while helping people on the Citadel. Shepard was waiting for orders for the next mission either to hit another Cerberus base or something else that Admiral Hackett might need help with. No word had come from the Quarian fleet or Geth and Thessia was still holding strong, so as Shepard was busy helping business deals and picking up certain objects for projects to either help the Crucible or to help with Citadel with the defences, her and her crew were sat on their hands itching for action. One night Shepard sat in Garrus' lap reading over the messages she had been receiving, turned out one had been from Mealon about the Genophage cure working with his work. Others had been laughable junk mail that seemed to plague her inbox about certain enhancement treatments and after assuring Garrus his ego was big enough they looked at the more serious messages. Miranda needed to talk to her again; Liara needed a moment, supplies needed picking up and more of the same odds and ends that needed clearing up. They even had a name to put to the man in black that killed Thane, Kai Lang an assassin that Anderson thought he got rid of years ago after shooting both his knee caps but it would explain the odd way he was moving. But one message got Shepard's chill racing, another mention of a Leviathan project needed help and a scientist was reaching out to Admiral Hackett for help. So far Hackett hadn't mentioned anything but the project was something that he seemed to be invested heavily in and usually that meant trouble…for Shepard.

One day Shepard was wondering through the halls of the Citadel trying to find a man who wanted some Prothean data to help with the Crucible drive core. She found the man leaning over a railing overlooking the Apollo café.

"Excuse me" Shepard caught the man's attention.

"Yes?"

"I believe you were searching for some Prothean data disks to help you with a certain project" Shepard winked at the man. His eyes widened as Shepard presented the old data to him.

"Thank you, now we might be able to do some good with…erm…the project. Thank you" The man went running off as Shepard shook her head with a smile. The Citadel's VI was doing a good joy on creating a beautiful day as the artificial sun rays cast down on the plaza below her and as usual the Citadel was buzzed with life. Shepard looked down on the Apollo Café and was surprised to see Liara and Javik sitting together talking with Liara's father. Shepard blinked a few times to make sure what she was seeing was real and as a smile formed on her lips she pulled up her Omni-tool.

Have Fun Liara, but not too much

ZS

Shepard walked away before Liara started to look for her. Shepard had to meet Garrus anyway for a meal at a restaurant and she was already running late. Shepard walked pasted Sobeck's armoury, waving to the clerk as she went past, she detoured down a small passage way to avoid the people crowding the hallway when suddenly her chill spiked and before she could turn to see who was following her, pain tore through her head making her fall to her knees. Her vision blurred and muffled sounds invaded her ears, the colour of blue blocked her vision before she felt another searing blow to the back of her head and her vision went black.

)_)

Garrus sat at a table checking his Omni-tool for the time, growling when neither number had changed. Shepard was late…really late making Garrus plates itch, she wasn't usually late for anything without sending a message first.

"EDI, can you tell me where Shepard is" Garrus patched himself through to the Normandy hoping that EDI might be able to lock on to Shepard's Omni-tool.

"Scanning…it seems that Shepard as remained in one place for the past five minutes" EDI spoke through Garrus communicator making Garrus roll his eyes.

"She's probably shopping…again" Garrus was about to send a message to Shepard telling her to hurry up when EDI cut in.

"Shepard is not currently at any store front locations on the Citadel…" Garrus' heart skipped beats, if she wasn't at a store then where was she?

"EDI send me her location"

"Done"

Garrus stood paying for his drink with a few credits and began to make his way towards Shepard's location, following his Omni-tool like his life depended on it. Making his way through the tide of people Garrus picked upon Shepard's scent but with was faint from all the people walking about. His Omni-tool blinked for him and Garrus looked down to see it leading him down a passage way, Garrus swallowed the large lumped that formed in his throat as the worst idea came to mind. Shrugging it off he walked down the passage way and Shepard's scent slowly got stronger but the further he went he didn't find Shepard. His Omni-tool was screaming at him saying that he had found her but Shepard was nowhere to be seen, Garrus balled his hand as his eyes searched the abandoned passage.

"EDI, the location is wrong Shepard isn't here" Garrus growled towards his communicator.

"My information is correct Garrus, in fact it seems you are standing over Shepard's signature now" EDI remarked making Garrus look down to the ground and what he saw made his heart speed up. Shepard's Omni-tool lay on the ground between his feet surrounded by faded spots of blood…Shepard's blood. Garrus knelt down and picked up the small bracelet and turned it over to read Shepard's name engraved on the back, Garrus clutched the bracelet before his growl turned into a blood curdling roar.

"EDI, Call everyone back to the Normandy…Shepard has been kidnapped"

Bit of a short chapter I know but forgive me I haven't been feeling well. Hope you enjoyed it!
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