Light the way
Tenth partSorry it took me forever to update this one.
Iruka woke up in a cold sweat, barely refraining the whimper which crossed his lips from turning in the ear-shattering scream he was ready to utter – the one he was already howling in his dream.
He had been released from the hospital the day before, and just going back to his apartment had exhausted him – he had dragged himself in the streets on the only crutch he could use since he had only one good arm for the moment. The tenth minutes walk from the hospital to his apartment had turned in a half-hour one, badly limping. He had really hoped at this time that the medics had been pessimistic when saying he would have troubles just to walk in the first weeks if not months, even when going back five time a week to the hospital for the torture known as re-education. He would not stand it if he was going to drag himself like yesterday for months.
He rolled from on his back to his right side on his bed, facing the wall, calming his breath. These were just dreams – dreams which happened to look like too much like real events…
Iruka closed back his eyes, forcing the memories of the moving lifeless bodies out of his mind. He had never been able to sleep properly when exhausted. In this state, his mind had a tendency to replay the worst moments of his life; Kami knew he had some, even if he was no jounin or high ranking nin. He was still a ninja, and he had done things that were not fit to be recalled at night; that were not fit to be recalled at all.
This very things that were coming back in these moments were ludicrously deformed, in what always felt like a never-ending horror gallery, where corpses were moving and trying to reach for him, where dead were coming back, where he was running from all that, and where he was always screaming inside so loud he always wondered in the morning how come he still had a voice.
Iruka opened his eyes again, staring at the bare wall in front of him. His room was just lit by the public light down in the street, but he did not need any light to know the number of cracks and fissures and their exact location on the wall. He knew them by heart, with the number of times he stayed awake all night, too exhausted to stay awake, too exhausted to sleep – not daring to go to sleep, by fear of the things coming from the depth of his nightmares, waiting in the shadows to reach for him.
He sighed, knowing he would not be able to get any more sleep this night, but that he was too tired to do anything else but wait for the morning to come while staring at the wall of his room.
In a way, he was glad Naruto was not around. He knew he was the closest thing to a family the boy had, and the young man had long since realized that the boy was the closest thing to a family he had, between a son an a younger brother. Iruka wanted to be strong for Naruto, to be a steady part of his life, much like a father or a older brother should be. He did not wish the boy to see him in such a state.
Iruka wondered, not for the first time since the blond tornado left for training, where was Naruto now, what was he doing, how was he doing, if, for once, the boy had had a proper birthday, as he was away from Konoha.
The light changed, out. He heard the motor-less vehicles coming for the early morning deliveries in the shops, the stores and the restaurants of the streets passing below his place. He heard the shopkeepers calling each other before getting their shops ready.
Iruka wondered, not for the first time in his life, what he would have done of his life if he had not been a ninja.
He could see most of the cracks in his wall now, half because he knew where they were, half because the sun was ready to rise, bathing the room with the beginning of a soft morning light – well, as much as it could rise behind the clouds that had took residence upon the Fire Country for the season.
He blinked, in a rather sleepily manner. Now that the sun was getting ready to show up, Iruka was beginning to get asleep again. Go figure. It was not like he had to be somewhere in the next hours; he would go to the mission desk somewhere like the next day or so and he had not to be to the hospital for some torture exercises before at least three days. He could sleep now. The groceries he undoubtedly needed since the only stuff left in his place that he had not ate when getting back or that had not passed their sell-by date were beers and ration bars, could wait till later in the day.
A random thought popped in his mind before he fall back in Morpheus' arms.
He had not seen Kakashi since this time in the hospital, on the tenth, nearly two weeks ago. Was the jounin even in Konoha now?
Kakashi watched without seeing it the sun rising upon the still green fields of Grass Country, the wind playing with the vast area, making it looking like it was the fur of a gigantic cat being stroked by gentle fingers. But such metaphors were far from the jounin's mind.
He was hungry, and tired. He was fed up with those wide spaces with no a single tree on the horizon. He was fed up with running all day. He was fed up to be there on the run. He had just enough of everything, much like in the same manner he had had enough of everything on this morning two weeks ago.
Absently, a part of his mind wondered what the heck was wrong with him this time.
He stiffly got up from the hiding place where he had spend the night, trying to sleep; trying had been the key word here. The night had been cold, and the just rising sun was not enough for now to warm him up. He would warm up while running anyway.
Kakashi sighed, his breath creating little clouds of white vapor in the cool morning air. He was tired, he was cold, he was hungry – and ready to strangle the one who created those tasteless, odorless, awful ration bars, which always left him with the feeling he had not eaten anything at all, making his stomach contract painfully. And he was still debating if the guy who asked for him specifically for this stupid 'get a scroll here' over-rated A-class mission had to be strangled first or not.
And he still had at least two days of travel to reach the borders of Fire Country, maybe three given his pace. He had treated the gash in the thigh he had received on the mission just before this one, but it was not cicatrizing as fast and properly as it had should. As much as he hated it, he would need to pass by the hospital when coming back. For now, there was little that could be done to get it better; it was just slowing him down.
He would not be able to be in Konoha in less than five days. He better had to begin to run now to make his way for the day.
He shouldered his pack, grabbing a wrapped up ration bar in the process, before leaving for the wide area. He was ill-at-ease in those space; there was no hiding place, there was too much place, he could be seen by enemies coming from anywhere around, as well as he could see them, but he could not hide, or disappear in the shades as he could in a forest.
Those fields were screaming 'unnatural' to every single instinct of self-preservation he had. He could not wait to get back to the cover of the dense forest surrounding Konohagakure. He could not wait to be back in Konoha. Maybe would he be able to rest a bit this time.
The jounin ate his bar while on the run. A half on his mind was on his surroundings, another half was… elsewhere. Grass was in relatively good terms with Konoha for now, he did not need to keep all his attention on the land around him. If some enemies were to appear, he would see and sense them early enough to snap back to reality.
Half of his mind wandered around a scarred chuunin. Was Iruka his friend?
He ran all day long.
Self-advertisement : if you like AUs very very AUs, my other fic 'A shinobi is a high school student like an other' is for you. Follow Kakashi in his double life of high school student in a modern days Konoha and of ninja operative in a secret force corp.