If Your Heart Wears Thin

by kingburu

Praetor. A Sister. Comrades. A Beautiful Girlfriend. A Best Friend, and a Loyal Lover. Everything culminated for a legendary hero in the making. Everything ever wanted, everything ever needed. None of it ever makes him happy. But at the end of the war, Jason KNOWS what the only thing in the world he actually needs is: to prove to Nico di Angelo that he has a home.

10. Act VI: The Truth

-x-

Act VI: The Truth

-x-

You like him.

"Will you still be attending the ceremony?"

"Yes. I'm doing it on Bianca's behalf."

You want him.

"Plus, Thalia would probably kill you didn't."

"And that. Do you know why Solace is so afraid of her?"

"Well—actually, no."

You like him. Jason laughed quietly under his breath, recalling the sneers Thalia threw Will's way at the hospital. He sat beside the sleeping bag on an early December morning, where Nico was finishing off a slice of leftover pizza from the night before. The younger demigod stayed with him in the past three days, with idle talk and light spar matches.

Because they'd spent so much time with each other since September, Nico knew every one of Jason's tricks. He also knew when those tricks were poorly executed and of bad taste. It hurt his pride to think Nico would take it easy on him, so Jason took his face full of dirt when Nico won their matches. Stamina would be the biggest worry for Jason to retrieve. His entire arm tingled with an odd pain when he summoned lightning or swung his sword—so much that they would have to stop for ten-minute breaks every half hour. Nico thought nothing of it, other than to rebuild Jason's endurance.

Fixing pipelines for Cindy the Water Nymph had nothing on fighting Nico one-on-one. That was the understatement of the century.

You like him, the tiny voice in Jason's head whispered again—sweet and enticing like a smug little siren. He had no choice but to shove it out of the way.

Nico's laugh filled the near-empty room, with his hands placed strategically at his sides. Jason didn't think he'd ever heard a sound more beautiful. It was another day with the aviator's jacket shoved aside—to which he couldn't help but be pleased with. It acted too much like a security blanket, guarding Nico from everything else. (Not only that, but Jason got a better look of Nico's lanky frame beneath his t-shirts and lean muscles.)

You like—

I lost my chance, Jason thought. Now shut it. It took three more days to figure it out—but Jason did. Maybe, just maybe, he did like Nico. Every time he reminded himself about Nico liking Percy, a part of him twisted into knots. Thinking of the words that passed between them only made Jason feel worse. Hollow, like the shell of a tree that'd had its innards gutted.

He was jealous of Percy. Not only that, but Jason was also adamant about not pursuing Nico. Even if Jason changed his mind, Nico still liked Percy too much for it to matter.

Not that they talked about that stuff. Jason was careful to avoid anything that involved Percy, Leo, or even Hades for both of their sakes. Nico looked nauseous during the whole confession on Hades' part, so Jason took it as a (cold) sign that dating wasn't part of either of their itineraries, either. Other than that, Nico was really easy to fall into conversation with.

"Will you be staying here?" The younger demigod pulled the blonde out of his thoughts—voice curious. With each passing day, he was in a better mood and more at peace with himself. Jason couldn't recall a time he'd ever seen Nico look so…conversational.

This time, he shook his head. "I'm going with you."

"Really?" Nico cocked his head back to the elder teen with an ample amount of surprise in his tone. He sounded alarmed—and at the same time anxious, and worried. "But—"

"Thalia will understand. Maybe Artemis gave her the same talk while I was away." Nodding accordingly, Jason leaned back and firmly placed the palm of his hands to the floor. "But the entire ceremony is to honor all of the fallen. They're—"

"Your comrades," Nico finished for him. His eyes flickered knowingly.

"Well. Yeah."

"You throw the word around too often."

"It's what I live by." A firm smile coiled across Jason's lips and he looked down to the tattoo branded on his forearm. All twelve years showed in pure black ink, fresh as the day that he'd received his first tick mark. Stuffed in his closet were old camp clothes—a variety of oranges and purple that Jason realized he hadn't worn since August. "You're my—"

"I'm your comrade too," Nico finished for him with a calm droll. He rolled his eyes, but Jason didn't think anything caustic of it. "Yes, I get it—I know a lot more about your personal life than need be."

"Does that bother you?"

"Did I say that?"

The corners of Jason's lips curled into a smirk, fully enjoying Nico's wit. The last three days was the first time they spent every waking moment with each other—which was amazing, he decided. Jason realized he could talk to Nico for an eternity before ever getting bored with the younger demigod's conversations. Something pleasant tingled in his chest at this awareness; something that wasn't there before the Rockies. Jason liked it a lot.

They weren't much. It was a pattern they fell into since getting to know each other, where Jason spoke long strings of words and Nico filled in the silence with his own comments. An air of casualty passed between them—light and quaint as the clouds. Nico never looked more comfortable sitting next to him before.

And that was all Jason could ask for.

He ignored the miser in his head, when it reiterated the same three words. You like him.

"I'll leave early if I have to," Jason whispered softly in the sunlight. It was always a calm before the storm whenever he set foot somewhere. And especially those same storms would hit full force without warning. The thought of abandoning Camp Halfblood a second time didn't sit well with his stomach, nor did he like the idea of abruptly leaving his sister, but it wasn't like he had a choice. The logical solution was to wade out the rest of the year and await next summer.

Nico nodded curtly and fiddled with the skull ring over his finger. "Then I'll leave with you."

"You sure?" Jason asked. He didn't bother to hide the thrill teeming in his tone this time.

"Positive."

A few days later found them preparing for Christmas Break over at Camp Halfblood. It was upon Reyna and Frank's requests to integrate the camps for the festive holiday—which was why they were to attend what was now called the Mourning Ceremony, and then celebrate Roman and Greek camaraderie.

Gods help us all, Reyna had grumbled through the Iris Message when Jason called her. It was the first time they spoke fondly to each other in a year because of the second Civil War and Percy and he being switched. Nowadays it wasn't unheard of to see Annabeth walking the streets of New Rome with the Twelfth Legion's praetor. Still, Reyna confided in him how nervous she really was being on Greek campgrounds since Bellona was strictly a Roman goddess. Their idle chat lasted for about an hour while Nico was off doing things in secrecy. (When Jason had asked in good nature, Nico's face scrunched together and he changed the subject immediately.)

Jason packed orange t-shirts, a few purple, and his gladius to use during Capture the Flag. Just in case he could stay long enough for a game. Nico noticed is excitement, like he noticed most of Jason's nonverbal acts.

"You're certainly looking forward to being there," he commented lightly.

The Son of Jupiter dropped his backpack like he'd been caught red-handed, but Nico seemed to think nothing of it. Opening his mouth to speak, Jason found that he couldn't form that same eagerness into words.

Again—Nico seemed to think nothing of it. He studied the backpack full of clothes and gathered his few belongings with him. An eyebrow raised into the air—chiding and amused. "I was wondering how long it would take you to crack."

"It's not that I'm sick of your company or anything," Jason said quickly. Far from it, if that little nagging voice in his head was any indication. It was easier not to think about Nico and Percy if he invested himself with going back to Long Island. Even if it was just temporary.

"I didn't say that." Nico's expression morphed thoughtfully, however, and he shifted between his feet. "I just meant that you must be getting sick, wallowing around here."

Oh gods, yes. The more Jason's thoughts fell over Camp Halfblood, he was reminded of singing songs around the campfire, or eating in the Dining Pavilionl with his friends—or sparring. Basket weaving. All of the weird stuff that didn't involve fixing sewage lines for Cindy the Nymph or laying out manure for Stephen the Satyr."But I'm not sick of you. In fact, I—" Really, really like you. "—I think of you as my best, best friend, remember?"

To his surprise, the edge of Nico's lips was laced with wry mirth. "Do I look upset?"

"Well…no."

"Then I'm not upset." The younger demigod bit the chewed on his lip—once again looking thoughtful before he scrunched his nose. "One game of Capture the Flag wouldn't kill me."

Jason's heart skipped a beat and he grinned. "Really?"

"Really." Feigned distaste teemed at his words, overturned by one of Nico's derisive smirks. Once more, Nico's expression morphed—but he ducked his head away before Jason could see.

Later, when Jason was assured he had all of his things, they stood in the alleyway between his apartment and the next building over. Nico'd placed his aviator's jacket over his shoulders again, going as far as zipping it up, before tucking in the standard SPQR purple scarf around his neck and placing the matching Sherpa hat over his head. Jason blinked. They weren't even out of LA yet.

Nico noted this. "What?"

"You look…" Adorable, was the word Jason would have chosen. He was reminded of Nico's red-stained cheeks from the cold last time and his glowing nose, and just about had an aneurism. "Cozy."

"Hazel's gift," Nico explained nonchalantly, like it was no big deal. Completely skipping over the ordeal, he looked up to the sky in smoggy LA air. "I'd rather not fly."

Thank Jupiter. "We'd get there faster by shadowtravel anyway. If you're up for it."

A shrug. During the war, Nico was in a perpetual state of exhaustion from navigating everyone to the House of Hades, keeping watch of his sister, fulfilling a promise for Percy, and aiding Reyna to bring the Athena Parthenos to Camp Halfblood. However, the way he gestured now made shadowtraveling sound like picking a booger—

"Buckle up," the younger demigod mused with a quiet snort. He surprised them both by stepping forward and firmly planting a hand around Jason's waist—definitely more contact since discussing everything after New York.

"Okay—"

Shadowtraveling was different from flying. Jason had a conversation about airtravel once with Percy, while Percy described swimming. Swimming had resistance, as your body torpedoed through the waves. When you were flying, you were the resistance, manipulating currents to fit your needs and flying through them. There was a lot of freedom that came with shadowtraveling—only more disorienting. Less tangibility, no resistance. It was like someone took the bones out of him and he was left running like a pile of goo.

Stopping felt like slamming into a wall, even though you were in full control of your body.

Last time when they left of Manhattan, Jason grabbed at his apartment wall to steady himself while Nico heaved. This time, he stumbled forward blearily, only to be stopped with Nico grabbing him by the back of his jacket. Maybe that was why they were so close.

"Never gonna get used to that," Jason mumbled, and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

Nico shrugged again, casually reeling Jason to his feet. He looked up to the sky, like proving a point. "You're airbound. I'm hellbound."

"That—is eerily accurate."

They stood in the forest that bordered Camp Halfblood—and in the outskirts, Jason made out the entry. Trust Nico not to shadowtravel in the middle of things. Not that Jason minded—he suddenly felt his heart leap in his throat at the thought of stepping foot on campgrounds again. The home that he left, after resigning his rank as praetor.

Then it leapt again, when he turned to catch a glimpse at the Son of Hades.

Despite preparation for the elements, Nico was shuddering to adjust to cold weather. Pale lips parted with huffs of white air, with a body that was shaking like a bag of bones. Sanguine bloomed in Nico's alabaster cheeks, polishing his face in search for warmth, and clumps of dark hair curled against his forehead beneath the ridiculous knit hat. He'd grown a little taller in their time together, with less emphasis on the need to raise his head when Jason addressed him. His face was narrow, with more definition on his jaw line, and eyes less tired than usual. No—instead of Nico's usual demeanor that demanded sleep, he had the most gorgeous mad genius eyes that Jason had ever seen.

Consequently, Nico's mouth contorted into a grumpy scowl—evidently done with the cold weather.

Jason had to laugh. He was thankful to be wearing a standard thermal shirt beneath his jacket. "C'mon. We can get hot cocoa when we get into camp."

He took a step forward—and found that he couldn't. A shadow tendril mounted firmly around his ankle—like a loose branch in the dirt or a stone to trip over. Cocking his head, he found one playful ebony eyebrow arched high beneath Nico's knit cap.

(Well—that was one word Jason thought he'd never use for Nico di Angelo. Naughty felt like a better word—like a child stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.)

Another shadow tendril latched over Jason's leg, nearly knocking the teen off balance. If it wasn't for the fact Nico was smirking, Jason probably would be freaking out.

"Not fair," Jason called out—but he only laughed. Shadows wrapped around his calves like tiers, and he stumbled forward beside the tree. "We're not in the air."

Nico's eyebrow darted beneath his hat. He gestured around himself halfheartedly and snorted. "The last I checked, that wasn't in low su—" WOOSH. Jason threw a snowball at him. "—pply. You're dead."

A chortle left Jason's lips as the other demigod, gobsmacked, wiped the snow off his face. He waved a gust of wind, and snowfall lightly pummeled Nico from the back—toward him. "C'mon Nico—don't you have enough shadows?"

As they spoke, the tendrils around Jason's legs loosened. He toppled over with the sudden release—clumsily bumping heads with Nico, and—"OOF!"—toppling over on top of him. Instinct took over for Jason at that point while he collapsed over Nico's ganglier limbs. His hands reached out to steady himself, while his feet bent at a safer position.

"It's amazing that your last name is Grace." The sound of Nico lightly seething pulled Jason back into orbit, as he looked down to the Son of Hades.

Jason's heart did somersaults into his throat—fueled by Nico's subtle ire and mirthful smirk. The younger demigod touched his forehead where Jason had bumped into him—to which Jason ran a finger on his own, too. Sure enough, there was a slight pain. Nothing that they couldn't handle, but a bump nonetheless.

"Sorry," he said offhandedly. Then he thought about it. "Aren't you technically an angel?"

Snort. "If you let Valdez turn us into a pun, then next time I'm leaving you in the Rockies."

A laugh fluttered out of Jason's lips before it ached in his chest. He saw Nico's eyes harden, lips pulling together into a straight line—and then stopped. When a look of unease passed over Nico's face, Jason knew it was time to disentangle from the boy beneath him. Coming to Camp Halfblood for Nico was harder than he let on.

"You gonna be okay?" Jason asked as he helped Nico to his feet. After that, he shoved his hands in his own pockets and kept an amiable—platonic—distance between them before mentally slapping himself. He'd spent the week being mindful of mentioning Percy and Leo, but they'd be unavoidable here.

Once more Nico shrugged, but it was no longer in the casual way like in LA. His shoulders lingered at his ears as he dusted the snow out of his hair, and eyes lingered at the ground. "Hazel will be there. And…Thalia, she'll be there."

"And I'll be there too."

"And you'll be there too," Nico muttered under his breath. Dark eyebrows knitted together. He wasn't one to display his emotions all at once, but Jason knew that stepping through the gate was meant for a long week. Suddenly a game of Capture the Flag didn't feel necessary anymore.

Despite what he kept insisting to himself, Jason touched Nico's back. His fingers played with the end of Nico's jacket, and he hoped calm thoughts could be felt through the touch. Dark eyes looked up to him—hesitant and a little afraid.

"Hey," the blonde said with a gentle nudge. "We can go straight back to LA whenever you want. I won't be mad."

The look that followed on Nico's face seemed to think otherwise. Jason was excited for Camp—but above all else, Nico meant more to him than roasting smores around a campfire again. he shrugged carefully, hoping that message was clear—and Nico sighed shortly into white air.

"We can stay."

"Okay—" Before he even let go of the younger demigod, Nico's hand snatched Jason's up.

The next glint in Nico's eyes looked painfully pleading. His fingers shook against Jason's—and. Gods.

Jason squeezed back without another thought, and heard the slightest breath of relief from beside him. They walked together, hand-in-hand down the hill to Camp Halfblood, not once mentioning their intertwined fingers.

He could only imagine how Thanksgiving went, and how Nico coped with that by himself.

-x-

Clarisse punched Jason good-naturedly in the arm when he showed up at the Big House. The moment Clarisse came over to greet them, Nico stuffed his hands back in his pockets, shying away from questionable looks in their direction. Jake Mason gave Jason a fist bump, and Drew Tanaka made her way to Jason—only to be steered in a different direction when she saw Nico next to him. Piper threw her arms around his shoulders as soon as they saw each other, with the Stoll Brothers not too far off.

She grinned, with a joy in her eyes that hadn't been there since before the war—back when Piper told her dad that she found a "new school." No doubt that she missed being on the east coast, too. Piper faltered in her smile and moved to hug Nico, too—who took a cautious step back.

"Hi," Nico said uneasily, "Piper."

Piper halted in her steps, and Jason's heart pounded in his chest. But instead of distaste or a grimace, she kissed him chastely on the cheek and stuffed her hands in her ski jacket. A feeble smile curled against her lips, tone soft. "Thanks for bringing him back again."

From the corner of his eye, Jason saw Nico was having trouble keeping calm. He laughed before slapping a hand over the younger demigod's shoulders. Good thoughts, Jason reminded himself. He hoped the meaning passed through their subtle touch.

"Hey, Jason, Nico." Connor's lips split into an impish grin and he crossed his arms. Nico especially turned his head, hearing his name pronounced with an emphatic, Nee-Ko. "Need some help putting your stuff away?"

"No," was the unison reply between them.

"Aw, c'mon," Travis started with good nature, "Don't you—oof."

"Travis," Piper annunciated sweetly—so sweetly that Jason had a hard time differentiating it between charmspeak and her real tone—"I missed you while you were in Maryland."

Red fluttered across Travis's cheeks while his brother animatedly rolled his eyes. Travis's usual wicked smirk was replaced with a goofy smile and he stuffed his hands in his pockets, almost anxious. "Piper! Yeah?"

She shrugged—which just left Jason really bemused. He couldn't believe the red in her cheeks until he saw it himself. Whether it was Piper's attempt to distract the Stoll Brothers or the truth, she was definitely enjoying herself. "Yeah."

"You need help unpacking, Peems? Uh—how long are you staying?"

"Whole winter."

"The whole winter. Whoo." Travis Stoll grinned from cheek-to-cheek and he even jumped a little, like a puppy.

"Kill me now," Connor drawled to Jason. He wiped a fake tear from his eyes and gagged for emphasis. "I think I lost him."

"Do you want to sit together at the sing-along tonight?" Travis asked. If he had a tail, it would've been wagging. But for now, he looked like he was having enough fun just standing next to Piper. No touching or flirting—just some casual conversation.

Piper's own kaleidoscope eyes lit up at the question. No—that definitely wasn't charmspeak. It was all genuine her. "I'd love that."

"Yeah? Cool. Cool," Travis said again, and he grinned before lowering himself into a grandiose bow. "Well then, m'lady—M'Clean, I'll escort you from the Mess Hall at 6PM sharp!"

"Do you own a watch?"

"No, but I'll steal—find one."

"I really don't know what to make of this," Jason muttered to Nico under his breath.

The other demigod chuckled quietly—raspy and almost honey-like despite his earlier nerves. "Jealous?"

"No," Jason admitted. He could honestly say he was happy. Even happier now that Nico's nervousness had wound down—almost sedated. The kiss to his cheek must have been enough distracting for Nico to reel his thoughts elsewhere. Piper's own nervousness, too, seemed to have dissipated. When she gave him that contact, Piper was trying to relay some affection without overstepping her boundaries. Good.

"Nico!"

On cue, Hazel appeared from the Big House with excitement teeming in her voice. She ran straight for her brother and threw her arms around Nico the same way Piper had done to Jason. The Camp Halfblood orange peeked out of her halfway-zipped hoodie, looking as just fitting and warm as a Camp Jupiter one. Strapped to her back was her spatha—deadly as ever.

This should be interesting, Jason thought suddenly. Looking around now, he saw a mix of purple and orange camp shirts as Romans new to Camp Halfblood explored the grounds. The shirts didn't label them, either—he saw Dakota and Pollux wandering around the grounds, with the Greek demigod deep in conversation. Each teen wore the others' signature color. He recognized Larry and Hank both, along with Katie Gardner, Mitchell from the Aphrodite Cabin, and Malcolm from Athena. Several mixed in Greek and Roman, and colors interchangeable.

"It's the largest gathering of us since the war," Piper commented good-naturedly. She pulled him out of his thoughts. The ex-mediator stuffed her hands in her comfy ski jacket—which was when Jason realized that Hazel must have dragged Nico off elsewhere. Even Connor and Travis left, leaving Jason with his ex-girlfriend outside the Big House.

Realizing he was taking too long to respond, Jason nodded in agreement. "Everyone spent time reconstructing their here or New Rome. I'm surprised Frank and Reyna were cool with coming down here."

"Some centurions didn't," Piper explained. She turned to him with a nonchalant shrug. "So plenty cohorts are intact over there. New Rome's more of a…city, compared to here, anyway. They can manage. It's part of the mediation process for everyone to get along."

Jason nodded with mild confusion, taking in the sight of Greek and Roman campers as they mingled. It was the first time that he was out of the loop for either camp. (Well, second. But it hit him that he was even less involved with the camps than he thought he was.) When he glanced back at Piper, he found her studying the scenery just as intently.

"I miss it," Piper admitted. She smiled sheepishly, playing with a bead that was braided in her hair and shook her head. "I like spending time with my dad, but I…"

"Don't want to shut this out of your life," Jason finished for him. He was surprised how quickly he was able to come up with that conclusion. "I totally get it."

Piper was half Cherokee and half demigod. She loved her father to bits and cherished every moment she could spend with Mr. McLean, but at the end of the day, there was half of her that embraced the ADHD, charmspeak, and slaying monsters that made her whole.

Jason felt that nostalgia hit him full force. He didn't have a family outside of New Rome or Camp Halfblood, but he left for a while, regardless. This was everything he missed out on in the past four months, as Nico and he grew closer.

Not that he regretted that part. Jason would take a chest to the shoulder again before ever saying that he hated Nico's company.

Speaking of, "How's the wound?"

He fiddled for a moment before pulling the collar of his t-shirt and thermal shirt over his CHEST. The circular scar was now a pasty pink on his skin. Jason had stopped taking big chunks of ambrosia for it to heal, knowing it'd all just be wasted.

"Will's apparently around here too," Jason confided. "He wants me to drop by the Apollo Cabin for a last examination, even though I keep telling him I'm fine. Jupiter knows that Octavian's probably going to drive everyone crazy in there."

Piper guffawed at the thought—which was worth hearing. She groaned and rolled her eyes in agreement.

Jason's lips curled into a smirk. "So…Peems?"

She blushed and abashedly elbowed him in the arm. "Peems. PM. Short for Piper McLean. Don't ask me how he got to that, but he's proud."

"Cute."

"Very," she agreed, and that was the last of the subject. Still, Jason didn't miss the way a smile was etching across her lips. "So."

They stopped before they could entire the Big House. Shifting between his feet, Jason edged her on. "So?"

"Leo told me about what happened between the two of you."

Jason froze. "He did?"

"When Leo and Percy came to see you on your last day at New Rome," Piper supplied quietly. "He pulled me aside and confessed why…why he hasn't talked to me in the last three months."

"He did." Jason swallowed hard and tired to figure out what he was feeling. Mostly, mortification. Then, fear. Lots of it, making it hard for him to even read her tone. He tested the waters with a heavy heart. "Are you mad?"

"I was." Piper clicked her tongue and her gaze dropped to the light snow on the ground. "But I got over it."

"Really?"

"Jason." Piper's voice shook for a moment, and he felt the daze of charmspeak in her voice.

No—not that. Piper had addressed on the Argo II that she didn't want her charmspeak to accidentally come through when she talked to Jason or Leo. It felt too manipulative—and made her uncomfortable. This was Piper, again, commanding attention without her charm. She sighed. Back when they were dating, Piper did that to keep her temper at bay. She wasn't the type to lash out, but she knew what words would make you want to crawl under a rock.

"I'm not mad that you two got together," she started carefully. "We weren't dating. But I was mad that you two kept me out of the loop and stopped talking to me. We used to be a team. The three of us."

Immediately, Jason felt the need to crawl under the nearest rock. He'd seen her multiple times at the hospital and the one big time back in September—all reasonable times to confess. He already felt like dirt not talking to Leo until Thanksgiving.

"I'm sorry," he said. Jason knew it wasn't enough. "We really didn't plan—it didn't last very…"

"I know," Piper replied, cutting him off. She let go of her breath. Something told Jason that she'd spent the last two weeks trying to put those feelings into words. "I don't care that you two had a fling. It just. Hurt, that I lost my two best friends."

"You didn't lose us," Jason responded. He bit the inside of his mouth and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I just…I fell under the radar. A lot."

A guilty frown fell across his face. Jason kept marveling in the changes that'd happened over the year, but Nico was right. He'd been wallowing in LA doing nothing about it and whining when he thought about leaving both camps. Jason left New Rome as soon as he was healed—but with every second in the present, everything jumped at Jason full force and he wanted to absorb every bit of it.

Jason had Nico now. Well—as much as he could have Nico. But other than that want, what was it that he needed?

"We need to hang out. The three of us." Piper's voice remained steady and she tilted her head carefully. "Can we do that?"

"Of—" Nico. "—course. I mean…" Jason muttered a curse under his breath and his eyes immediately fell to the shadows—where Nico would usually rise from.

Piper seemed to get the gist of his next worried look, even if Jason couldn't. They stood silent for a moment, before she said her next sentence. "I want to know if you're happy, Jason."

The way she spoke made her sound like she knew more than her sentence let on. Jason stared at her nervously—and couldn't help but think it was true.

-x-

Nico handed him hot cocoa as Jason entered the Big House. He'd taken off the standard Sherpa hat and scarf, letting his tousled black hair stick up in its usual hedges, and looked relieved now that he wasn't doused in snow. Piper gave both of them a hard look as they perched next to each other around the pool table—one that had Jason nervously fiddling with the zipper on his jacket and Nico noticeably arching an eyebrow in the air.

From what Jason could assume, all of the camp counselors were gathered around the table, along with the centurions from all five cohorts and their two praetors, Frank and Reyna. The centurions spared one look in Jason's direction and another at Percy's (who gave Jason a half-smile, half here-goes-nothing grimace), but Hazel, Dakota, and Percy kept their gazes locked on the two current leaders of Camp Jupiter.

The arrangement was weird, to say the least. There were the ten centurions, along with their two praetors, and a counselor from every cabin—which was saying a lot. Even Thalia was there representing Artemis's Cabin. As soon as they made eye contact, Thalia's lip twitched into a firm smile and Jason's heart writhed in his chest.

'Happy Birthday,' he mouthed to her.

Thalia tapped at her leather jacket silently and nodded in his direction.

Yeah. Artemis and Apollo had definitely talked to her.

There had to be at least thirty of them altogether, crowding around the ping-pong table in order for everyone to get a look at each other. Jason never felt more out of the loop than he did now. He was given a few pats on the back by counselors who missed him and fistbumped with a lot of the centurions.

"So we're still trying to integrate both Roman and Greek campers," Percy started. He had a clueless look on his face—clearly going with the flow of things and saying whatever came to mind. "Obviously not everyone showed up. There's gonna have to be a better system for rooming and stuff."

"I think you mean expansion of the cabins, Seaweed Brain." Annabeth elbowed him good-naturedly in the arm with an eyebrow darting in the air. It was freakishly scary how they rebounded off each other—like they were still dating, but no kisses.

Jason's instinct told him to seek out Leo next, who was the shortest among all the thirty people there. He stood next to Connor in a fit full of snickers. They made eye contact for a brief second—where Leo's eyes clouded with smoke and Jason grimaced.

He never got around to Iris Messaging Leo after New York.

The urgency in Leo's gaze meant something, at least—smile flickering at the edges. We'll talk, they said.

Yeah. They definitely would.

"Yeah, yeah," Percy grinned, elbowing her back. He was completely in his element amongst everyone, even though it was a new situation. Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, he shrugged. "All I know is: this'll be the most epic game of Capture the Flag ever."

A lot of cheering echoed through the room. Jason's eyes immediately fell down to Nico—who'd remained calm and was currently enjoying his hot cocoa. Most everyone probably overlooked the fact he was there, too invigorated by Percy's last suggestion. Given Nico wasn't much for crowds to begin with, scaring them mindless was probably how he amused himself.

"How will we split that?" Jason decided to ask. Instantly, all eyes were on him—including Annabeth's beloved ex-Seaweed Brain, whose demeanor had something tense across it.

"Um," Percy hummed before shrugging, "draw straws?"

"I say we play it traditionally!" Shouted a voice—Octavian's, who was squeezed between Will Solace and Larry from the Second Cohort. Both demigods rolled their eyes as he piped up again. "Romans versus Greeks!"

That definitely would have been fun. Jason caught the coil in Percy's grin and felt his own blood thrumming through his veins.

"No," Frank called out, which silenced them all. It was amazing what a few months as praetor had done for him. He still had a gentle look in doe eyes, but the way he held himself was prouder—as the best representation of a son of Mars. He'd gone from a shaking kid with arrows to a proud Roman. "While that's great and all, not everyone is fully comfortable with the integration of both camps just yet."

"Frank is right," Reyna said in agreement. It dispersed any counter argument immediately. "We want to combine the camp as best as possible. I say we split the teams into the bigger cabins versus the remaining few and sort each cohort with each team."

Quiet murmurs of agreement fluttered around them, but one voice stood out.

"That's a dumb idea." Octavian. Who quickly got a slap upside the head by Will. "Ow!"

"Well, I agree with it," Annabeth decided. She flashed a knowing look between all of them, and then to Reyna, which held a lot more emotion than Jason could imagine. He quickly looked over to his old partner, who looked better at ease now that her girlfriend was smiling.

"Soooo, that leaves one question then," Leo started, shouting above the masses. "Who are Percy and Jason going to be fighting for?"

To that question, Jason startled. Another flurry of chants and murmurs fluttered through the room while Jason once more looked over to sea-green eyes. He expected Percy to look discomforted, or annoyed as they made eye contact, but they weren't. Instead, Percy's hand unconsciously flew to his forearm, where Jason knew fingers were resting at the SPQR tattoo. Something about his look—the way his eyes flickered with quiet distance in his orbs—reminded Jason of the day at the hospital.

Percy was thinking of rejoining the Legion. And judging by the tone Leo took, he knew that too.

Coming to Camp Halfblood, Jason's first thoughts were flooded with his old cot in Zeus's cabin. While the integration of Roman and Greek campers was exciting, his ranking never crossed his mind with the Legion. Technically Jason hadn't retired altogether—just his title as praetor. He was ranked only a little higher than a normal camper, but technically not a praetor, and definitely no longer a centurion.

Then there was a part of Jason that itched to fight Percy. They did promise each other a spar once he got out of the hospital.

"We should split Capture the Flag as usual," Jason started, even if it probably wasn't his place. "Larger cabins versus the smaller ones. Blue Team versus Red. In return, we can invert the Cohorts. First and Second with Red, Fourth and Fifth versus Blue. Third can be split. They can draw straws or whatever, like Percy said." That way, the cohorts with the fewest members could fight at an advantage.

Percy caught on immediately. Unless they both picked to fight for the same cohort or the same cabins, they would be facing each other. Neither one of them were as tactical as Annabeth or as cunning as Reyna, but a healthy game of Capture the Flag charged both their instincts. He surprised Jason by going along with, "Let's make it interesting. I'll fight for the Fifth Cohort."

Dakota and Hazel cheered, grins on their faces.

"Then I'll fight for Zeus's Cabin," Jason mused. They held matching smiles with a twinkle of eager combat in their gazes.

Another round of murmurs filled the room. It'd been four months since Jason stepped foot on Camp Halfblood grounds, but it seemed that no one questioned his popularity. The same evidently went for Percy. He may have been missing for eight months, but his camp was loyal to him as ever. Even better—because both were also recognized as once-praetors at New Rome.

"As cute as it is to see my little brother and this idiot over here whipping out their dicks—" Thalia's sudden exclamation caused a collective gasp to round out the room. A silent Nico choked on his hot chocolate, Annabeth chortled in disbelief, Leo cackled, Hazel looked horrified—and the rest of the room turned to listen to Artemis's great lieutenant, who only joined Annabeth in a fit of laughter. Male centurions and counselors were suddenly more aware of an important appendage between their legs. "—we've got more important things to worry about. The Mourning Ceremony will be tonight. If we expect to get everything done efficiently, then that should be our focus."

It was certainly a sudden shift of power, Jason thought. Campers silenced. Percy was the Greek Camp Leader who slew Kronos and led the Battle for Manhattan. Jason was the first Roman to ever step foot on Camp Halfblood grounds since the first Demigod Civil War. Thalia was another Greek Child of the Big Three—the Daughter of Zeus and the intimidating lieutenant to Artemis's hunters.

There was the Seven of them, who were part of the prophecy.

Reyna and Frank—the latter to whom Jason renounced his title. Beneath them were the two centurions from each cohort, along with every camp counselor for each cabin. Jason found himself feeling out of place again, after four months of not being at either. It was kind of an ego bruiser coming to Camp and not having…some kind if power.

Nico read him like a book. "A little power hungry?"

Jason jumped at the sudden contribution—heard only by them. Nico never raised his voice, even if the situation called for it—most people silenced at his quiet tone anyway. Looking down, he saw the Son of Hades hoarding a third cup of hot cocoa (with two empty containers beside him) and dark eyes looking to him with some subtle amusement.

"Maybe," Jason muttered softly, embarrassed. "I think I missed this more than I thought I did."

No one noticed Jason's lack of input from then on out. Instead, he breathed. Beside him, Nico discreetly leaned against Jason's side in some sort of soothing notion—something that could have been easily mistaken as a too-crowded pool table by thirty people. But between Nico and he, Jason knew Nico was trying to keep him leveled in some way.

Who knew, Jason mused, that they'd go from Jason calming Nico to the other way around. Especially all in one day.

He didn't miss Piper's knowing glance on the other side of the pool table.

-x-

"They told you more about what's going to happen than they told me," Jason said, "didn't they?"

"Yeah." A frown adorned Thalia's face, expression torn like it was the hardest decision in the world. They had dinner in the Dining Pavilion as two of the only children of Zeus. And—well, technically, Jupiter. Sitting across from her, Jason wondered if this what it would have been like if he was never separated from his family and if Thalia never became a huntress. He tried to imagine being at Camp Halfblood during hot summers and then going back with Mom for the school year in south California.

And then couldn't. Jason mulled over the fact that after sixteen years, he still didn't know what his mother looked like. How she sounded when she spoke, or the way she would laugh. Having a normal life didn't necessarily fit demigods—and it definitely didn't fit them. If all of the obstacles in their lives hadn't happened—if Jason was never taken to Camp Jupiter, if Thalia hadn't run away at the age of thirteen, if he didn't become praetor, if she didn't become a tree—she would still somehow land herself as the lieutenant to Artemis. Jason knew better than to doubt that.

Technically Thalia would have been twenty-four today. Someone of that age in New Rome usually retired from the legion after their ten years of service, went to school, got a job, and started a family. Jason doubted they would've been as close as they were now if it weren't for everything that happened since his birth.

Close, but not close to each other, Jason corrected in his mind.

"And now you're going to tell me that I can't know because it'll put me in a bad mood and risk the unraveling the fabric of the Immortal World and Eternity," Jason replied, "Right?"

To his chagrin, Thalia only snorted. "You sound like Percy."

"Thal, I'm serious." The irritation budded in his stomach and Jason broke into his own scowl. Across from them, Nico was nowhere to be seen at his own table. When dinner came, the younger teen saw Thalia's look and opted to disappear for the next few hours. Jason felt a pang of betrayal, but Nico insisted that it wasn't a big deal. His demeanor read that Thalia's talk was dire.

"Jace, I can't play yes and no with this." Thalia's tone was suddenly annoyed. She moved her fork around her plate of spaghetti and glared at it. They were both on edge here-this talk wasn't supposed to happen. "Our lives are at stake here. And to be honest, I'm not willing to risk that. Not ever. Artemis only allowed us to take this detour because of the Mourning Ceremony, so we can write down Zoe's name on the tablet. The hunters and I are going to leave when she beckons—or the moment as something bad happens. Whatever comes first."

"Is she the one that wants us to stay apart?"

"She thinks it wiser that way. Jace, stop." His sister's tone took a sterner approach as she noticed his fingers tapping at the table with a small hum of electricity. A gust of unpredictable wind whispered in the room. It bristled past startled campers, who began to search for the cause of it-but no gaze fell upon them.

Jason felt obligated to look over to the Poseidon table, where Percy was nowhere to be seen. He was probably with Leo, who was occupied with the rest of his cabin hauling the memorial to the center of the cabins right now.

The younger demigod's gaze would have wandered again, but Thalia took grasp of his hand, sending the lightest shock between them to keep their emotions centered. Electric blue eyes narrowed at him sharply, with cool lips curled into a frown. "You need to listen to me on this. I don't want you getting hurt."

"I'm getting hurt now because I'm not allowed to see my sister the way I want to," Jason counter-argued. Thinking back to the day Thalia left, he remembered instantly what he felt. Remorse. Confusion. The entire week they spent together was painful and bittersweet, with both of them knowing that Thalia couldn't stay long. But this was different. Jason used to cope with the idea of not seeing Thalia with rocky ease, but now the gods were forcing it. "I miss you, Thal."

Her demeanor expression softened at that. Good. Thalia's eyebrows pressed close together beneath her silvery tiara and she looked down at her things.

He used that time to unfurl the brown bag beside him and pulled out a singular cupcake-chocolate, with a little moon-shaped spoke sticking out of lavender icing. He'd bought it from the bakery across the street from his apartment before Nico and he arrived.

Thalia's eyes widened, mouth parted in surprise.

"This is our first birthday together," Jason murmured. "Well-that I remember, anyway."

On cue, she snorted and pressed her elbows to the surface of the table. A small, wistful smile curled against her lips and she ripped out the plastic spoke to lick off icing. "I remember. Mom forgot."

"She...did?"

"It was better that way. I got Ms. Stacy to buy a cake and you basically destroyed it." Her eyes flickered with glee and she peeled off the paper cup to split the sweet. "It had Barney on it. I think it made you angry enough that you needed to kill it."

Jason snorted. Muttering a thank you for his half, he let his mind wander to her other words. "So what ended up happening with Mom?"

She shrugged and plopped cake in her mouth. "Ms. Stacy drove all the way to Phoenix to bail her out of jail. Mom had gotten drunk and hit a cop."

"Oh." Jason's tone deflated.

Thalia's exchange was apparently supposed to be casual, like picking off a scab after it'd dried enough. Instead, it left Jason feeling more unsettled than he already did. He really just couldn't catch a break today.

They sat in tangible silence, where Jason couldn't decide whether or not it was welcoming or tortuous. Instead he looked at the plastic spoke of the moon sitting at the edge of Thalia's plate and crushed the remains of his cupcake between his fingers.

Another minute passed before he could summon the nerve to address his sister again. Thalia beat him to the punch once the last of her cupcake was in her mouth. Electric blue irises studied the linen cloth over their table, and Thalia's hand curled over Jason's. "The huntresses and I are leaving after the ceremony."

"What? You're not staying for Capture the Flag?"

"I can't even stay to say goodbye to you." Thalia's eyebrows pressed together and she smiled sadly before pulling herself to her feet. "I've got to get ready, Jace. Thank you, for the cupcake."

"But—" Jason couldn't even finish his last thought. She looked too resolute about leaving his side.

Before Thalia made it back to the Artemis's table, where all of the huntresses had been leering at everyone since the beginning of dinner, she stopped and scraped the last of her food into the bronze brazier in the middle of the hall.

She muttered a quick prayer, and Jason knew it wasn't for their father.

-x-

The ceremony went beautifully. Torches lit up the night sky in hues of reds and oranges, and the pathway to the monument for the fallen was marked by cohorts and cabins that stood in groups based off their Godly parent and made an outline of the campground's omega. The monument stood at twenty feet wide, perched with the nose pointed toward the sky, ready to take flight as an Argo II. According to Jake Mason, it was designed as a backup means of transportation in case it was ever needed, with a second one to be built on New Rome grounds shortly.

Percy was the announcer. Of course he was. His hair was combed neatly (no doubt Annabeth's doing—she looked incredibly proud of herself), and he wore a nice pair of jeans followed by an orange shirt with a purple design—apparently a symbol of the melding of both camps. Once Chiron explained the gathering of Romans and Greek campers, everyone fell silent for Percy's announcements.

He'd only been a camper for five years. He made the best friends and felt accepted, like other campers. Not only that, but there were options for them—Camp Jupiter, Camp Halfblood, Artemis and her Hunters. A lot of fallen. Too many to die young, too much bloodshed. A depressing ceremony—gods, way to start out winter break. Two wars to go through—Kronos. Gaea. But they were here. That was all that was important. And now, siblings, cousins, and legacies alike were here to honor their fallen. Because it was what their deceased half-brothers or half-sisters would do.

Once that was over, the ceremony commenced. Cabins marched forward one-by-one with a designated leader to inscribe the names of their fallen siblings on the side of the miniature Argo II. Jason noted that Clarisse joined the Aphrodite Cabin to write the name Silena Beauregard on the mast, while Percy joined the Hephaestus Cabin to write Charles Beckendorf. Another assortment of names filled out the beautifully carved monument of celestial bronze—Michael Yew, Lee Fletcher, Ethan Nakamura—all names that went before Jason's arrival at Camp, and then names that Jason wished weren't on there. He noted that for the Dionysus Cabin, Dakota marched alongside Pollux to cave the name Castor toward the top.

The cluster of purple and orange shirts had all been changed to match the one Percy wore—either orange with purple writing or purple with orange writing. Cohorts still wore purple and Cabins wore orange. The Hunters glowed regally and beautifully beneath moonlight, with their silver parkas and pale bands. Beside them stood Nico—who surprised Jason and dressed nicely. Neither wearing purple nor orange, he stuck out all the same in his black slacks and gray sweater. He was straight-faced—undeterred by the cold despite the red nose that said otherwise. Once it was Artemis Cabin's turn, Thalia led with her hunters behind her and Nico marching beside her.

They walked hand-in-hand, despite the quick look of surprise that mixed across Percy's face. Nico's eyes glued firmly to the Argo II monument.

The name Zoe Nightshade was written in clumsy scripture, causing the corner of Jason's lips to etch into a quiet smile at his sister's less-than-perfect handwriting. Her gaze lingered solemnly at the celestial bronze, longer than the symphony of heartbeats of the dozens of demigods, satyrs, and nymphs around them before she handed the carver to the only boy beside her.

Nico's gaze remained even longer. His lips pulled together in the concentrated look Jason knew him for—the one that breathed with self-contempt as it screamed at him, before it was muted by Nico's own desires. He wrote Bianca di Angelo in elegant, wispy letters and let out a quiet breath. Done.

Thalia ran a smooth hand across his back before giving his shoulder a tight squeeze.

Despite all of the confusion Jason felt, he knew where to stand for this one—alongside his brethren in the Fifth Cohort. He stood toward the back in their scanty group and watched the two centurions—Hazel and Dakota—carve Gwendolyn's name when it was their turn.

Pyres didn't need to be lit that day to honor these deaths. Jason couldn't help but think that instead of following Greek or Roman tradition, the intention of the sculpture was just to be…them. Their generation, as the newly rejoined family of demigods.

Flags were planted outside every cabin, each with pride for their respective parent or ancestor. Tears were shed, even though it was four months after the end of the War with Gaea, and hugs bound them all together, with flesh against flesh. Life poured through all of them, once again connected for the first time as civil comrades, and they revered in their alliances. Mourned. Cheered.

With a withering heart, Jason thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

-x-

Soldier of the Fifth Cohort. Centurion. Praetor to the Twelfth Legion. Slayer of Krios. Head Counselor of the Zeus's Cabin. One of the chosen Seven of the Great Prophecy.

The Fifth Cohort now had five new faces Jason couldn't recognize. Dakota and Hazel were the two leading centurions. Reyna ruled Camp Jupiter alongside Frank, as two Children of War. Yeah, there was Krios, but that was so long ago. Zeus's Cabin—the only camp counselor. One of the seven, yes, but he'd walked away from that.

Jason walked away from all of that.

Campfire songs were sung around the circle, much more relaxed than over at Camp Jupiter. After eight months of living as a graecus, Jason understood this sense of camaraderie better. It was like Percy said: coming from a mortal school, where you were labeled the troublemaking ADHD dyslexic, to stepping foot on camp grounds was heart wrenchingly amazing. Anyone who ever had to do second grade arts and crafts probably thought their chivalry was stupid—but it wasn't. Being a demigod meant that you had a place where you belonged when the outside world couldn't accept you.

Yeah. It was no wonder why at the penultimate age of seventeen, Percy was thinking about rejoining the Legion. It meant ten more years of serving under his real heritage—the only thing that ever accepted him. Jason pressed his fingers against his own tick marks—all twelve of them, earned before the age of sixteen. When he received the tenth one at the age of fourteen, Jason ultimately decided to continue his years in the Legion. The thought of settling down and attending school in New Rome like a handful of legacies was far-fetched for him. Reyna was a big reason to why he stayed—and eventually they both rose to praetorship together.

Percy was right. Jason stayed with the Legion because he thought there was no other option. He was a child of Jupiter, for Gods' sake.

But the satisfaction of being praetor only lasted a few short seconds before he was thrown into Camp Halfblood and into the Greek World of the Gods. And after that, he yearned to stay. To be what—Top Dog? To be a leader?

It only sounded fair. Percy rose to the rank of Praetor in New Rome in a matter of days, so didn't it make sense for Jason to become a leader at Camp Halfblood?

And now… He'd given them both up, like flicking ants off his forearm one-by-one as a sick and twisted form of entertainment.

"You're upset."

The corner of Jason's lip rose in a tired smile as Nico's voice brought him back to reality. Thalia and the Hunters had disappeared an hour ago after spilling woeful goodbyes to everyone (with only Percy, Grover, and Annabeth showing any gratitude. Most of the other campers feared them), leaving the camp to resume the rest of its activities for the winter break. Jason and she didn't say goodbye to each other. Saying goodbye felt too permanent, like Jason would never see his big sister again.

Since then, he'd remained perched on the rooftop of Zeus's Cabin, gazing up at the stars that illuminated the night sky. With each glimmer, he was able to make out the outline of his sister's favorite constellation: The Archer. Campfire songs were still going on from a distance—where Jason could see Piper's head resting on Travis's shoulder clearly, Hazel and Frank cuddling, and a cluster of all of his other friends.

Nico barely raised his voice above a whisper, and yet Jason could hear everything in his tone: a bit of jollity, exhaustion, and relief.

Below the columns of Zeus's Cabin, Jason saw the silhouette of his favorite demigod, who went back to the purple Sherpa hat and fluffy scarf over the nice sweater he'd worn at the ceremony over two hours ago. In his hand was what was probably Nico's twelfth Styrofoam cup of hot cocoa.

"May I come up there?" Nico asked quietly. Dark eyes glittered with the far-off embers of the bonfire, and the shadows of his face danced with the light of warm flames.

"Did you bring me a cup of hot cocoa?" Jason teased. His heart thrummed lightly beneath his thermal wear and shirt—feeling a lot more uplifting now that Nico was there with him.

On cue, the younger demigod shrugged. He slipped into the shadows and materialized beside Jason—before sure enough, handing Jason a second cup of hot chocolate.

They sat in silence. Jason let the burn of warm liquid slip down his throat and swallowed hard as it tingled through his lungs. Leaning over his lap, blue eyes stared off at the oak tree that protected their home.

"So you think I'm upset?" he asked softly. He didn't expect his voice to crack. "Ahem."

To his surprise, Nico snorted and let out the closest thing he knew to a laugh. One hard sip of hot cocoa later, and then Nico outlined the stars with his eyes. "I know you are."

"You're good at that. Knowing how I feel and stuff."

Something twisted over Nico's alabaster demeanor, but he censored himself before he could utter the words. Instead, the younger demigod grazed his skull ring over the Styrofoam cup and closed his eyes. He took in a harsh breath before saying, "Seeing Thalia here upset you."

"It's not just that."

"Tell me, then."

Jason hesitated. He shook the cup in his hand, imagining it to be the beer Dakota once snuck into the barracks when no one was looking. Being the smallest cohort honestly hadn't been that bad when authority turned the other cheek on you. No one would have believed that Jason Grace had a wicked streak once in a while.

"I miss it," he said quietly. "I miss being praetor. Being a legionnaire. Being a camper." With hesitant debate, Jason decided—much to his embarrassment—"I miss having power."

"Oh?" Nico downed the rest of his drink with ease. Jason passed his cup over to the younger demigod without second thought.

"Thalia knows who she is. She spent all of those years as a tree, but as soon as she got out, she made a name for herself. She didn't settle. After I became praetor and the first Roman in Camp Halfblood, I thought that I'd settled. But. I took it for granted. All of it." Jason rubbed his fingers together and glared at the snow below them. He felt the shame bubble in his stomach. It wasn't his place to stomp into camp and demand his rank back. His blood screamed that he was a leader, but his pride demanded him to earn it.

For once, the miser in the back of his head almost seemed pitying. That hurt, too. It's not that you don't know what you want, it said, you just want to be selfish.

"We don't have to stay for the Capture the Flag game," Jason said, despite himself. Maybe this was what Apollo meant about losing control. Part of his ego was bruised at the idea of not reclaiming leadership—which scared him more.

Nico shrugged nonchalantly, despite everything. "I know you want to stay."

I want you more, Jason didn't say. What he wanted was to keep his sanity intact, but still be with both camps, and sing songs around the campfire, and hang out with Leo and Piper, and to stay in Los Angeles, and for Nico to just…hold his hand again and tell him everything was going to be okay. But that wasn't a possibility anymore. It never was. Instead, Jason knotted fingers in his hair and stared dismally at the campfire. "I don't know what I want anymore."

Silence.

At some point, Jason expected for Nico to reel off and change the subject—maybe make it easier on Jason. But instead, the Son of Hades sipped the remains of Jason's cup and set it beside him. He let his legs dangle off the edge of the rooftop and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his black jeans before pulling out what Jason knew to be a brownie square. "I don't mind, you know. Coming to visit you here."

Jason froze.

"It's like I said back in New Rome. Like you said. You've been…confined, but you put yourself there." Nico shrugged and broke off half the brownie for the blonde. Dark eyes looked up from messy, tousled hair, with an eyebrow raised beneath the bristle of bangs. Sweetness twinkled in his irises—quiet and subtle, but very much there like the glimmer of a star in darkness. "Hades, Jason. I've gone to the Underworld more times than you've left that apartment in the last week."

"I went all the way to LA to find you."

"And you have me," Nico said without missing a beat. He quieted for a heartbeat before continuing, "You have me. You've been…the greatest friend I've ever had. And we both know that you didn't plan anything past finding me in California."

Well…no. Not really.

"I don't have a lot of friends," the Son of Hades whispered softly. He studied the brownie between his fingers—enriched with the finest chocolates in New Rome. "But I know that it's supposed to be filled with mutual benefits for both parties."

"You make it sound like a business transaction." Jason chuckled softly and dabbled a clump of chocolate at his tongue. He ran his next thought through his mind as a long debate before pointing out, "If I decided to leave LA, I wouldn't know where to go, Nico. Besides, I mean…if I stayed here, or over in San Francisco, you're going to run into Percy a lot more."

He took note that Percy was no longer around the campfire with the rest of them. Neither was Leo. Both Piper and Leo had looked in Jason's direction earlier—knowing the Son of Jupiter's old habit of disappearing to high places to think when he was troubled—but Jason shook his head and hoped it read as a, "I just need to be alone."

Nico shrugged nonchalantly. Dark eyes flickered dangerously, and out of habit, Nico's hands went to his abdomen where his pockets normally would be. He placed them beside him, and Jason couldn't help but notice that their fingers were almost touching. The younger demigod snorted. "I've done this dance, Jason. I'm not going to burst into tears every time I see him."

"Yeah, but…" Nico was still upset about the whole Percy-switching-teams-situation, but it was one thing that Jason couldn't wrap his mind over. Orientation labels were ingrained in Nico's brain, despite everything. He still raised an eyebrow at Annabeth brushing the hair out of Reyna's face, or the way they looked at each other when they thought no one else was watching.

"Valdez isn't a problem either," Nico said. He rolled his eyes. See? Mind reader. Drawing in a breath, Nico let out a quiet sigh and leaned forward—enough for Jason to instinctively wrap an arm around Nico's shoulder. It was quite a leap from here to the ground. His heart hammered at the thought of it. "Percy and I talked."

"What? When?"

"A little before I came to find you." The other demigod fell silent, with his eyes studying the bonfire across from them.

"What did you guys…?" Jason trailed off. It was one of the things between them now. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to know, or if Nico wanted it to be outside his head. In all honesty he felt a little stupid for not picking up on Nico's cues since getting up here. Nico seemed okay, but that was only a matter of speaking.

The Son of Hades took Jason's nervous conversation with a nod. Dark eyes looked to Jason, striking up a hundred beats a second in Jason's chest. "We talked about Bianca. He…explained what happened again. And why he was pestering me about staying in one place." Nico hopped in his own rhythm of speech and continued. "He cares about me."

Jason's heart hurt. "That's…good. Right?"

"In a matter of speaking. He's grateful." Nico fell silence once again, eyes wandering back to the ground. His skull ring tapped nervously at the rooftop and shoulders sagged. "I don't think I'm ready to tell him yet. That. I'm…gay."

"Is it any of his business?"

"I think Bianca would have been proud of me for telling him."

"But is it any of his business?" Jason had to lower his voice. Nico looked back to him—suddenly studying his body. "Sorry."

Then, Nico continued with a sardonic look. "I should be flattered that Percy's willing to extend a hand in my favor. Otherwise I might find my head in a toilet when he gets too tired with reasoning with me."

"I'll kill him if he does that."

"And then I'd guide his spirit to the afterlife." Nico rolled his eyes and Jason almost laughed at his own animosity. Annabeth would have dubbed this the Circle of Big Three Morons, or something along those lines. The Son of Hades drew another, singular breath with his shoulders to his ears and finished off the last of his brownie.

The space around them dropped maybe a tenth of a degree, with the shadows dancing to Nico's whim.

"I'll tell him," Nico decided. He clasped his hands together and heaved a sigh. "But not yet."

"It's got to be on your own time," Jason agreed. He touched Nico's shoulder comfortingly, eyebrows furrowing together. His chest ached at the thought of…this. Of someone other than himself knowing Nico's secret, but he knew that was selfish. Worst off, it was the greediest desire Jason could ever imagine. "But I'm glad you're telling."

"Yeah," Nico agreed. His voice cracked with fear.

"Nico—"

"Now it's time to make you happy."

"What—? Whoa!"

The next thing Jason knew, he landed on a bed with the rush of turbulence burning his skin alive. Jason sucked in a breath, eyes wide, and blinked away the colors in his vision.

The new room was painted in various hues of dark purple and blue. Green torches lit up the walls, revealing the various posters of music scores, pianos, cellos—anything that could be found in an orchestra, or a jazz band. An old record player sat near the nightstand between two neatly made beds decorated in black plaid sheets, playing a raw sound of a woman singing Italian.

Nico plucked his aviator's jacket off a dark coat rack, which sat beside a floppy green hat, and threw it on himself like armor. Jason jumped as he heard a crinkly giggle and swore the skeleton in the corner laughed.

"Is this…Hades Cabin?"

"What's the start of it." Nico snorted softly and readjusted the hat over his head. He looked relieved to be wearing layers now. Jason had to laugh at the fact that the cabin came with its own hot cocoa machine. Perfect. "I want to fly."

Then he sputtered. "What?"

Just the look on Nico's face told that he wanted to do the exact opposite. Between Percy and Nico, Jason was usually tolerant of their mode of transportation. However, Nico hated being carried and Percy's impression of an "ideal flight" was being no more than ten feet off the ground.

Regardless of his reaction, Nico sucked in a torturous breath and stared out the dark-tinted window. "We'll shadowtravel to Eagle Rock, and then fly east. It's been a while, right? Since you've flown?"

Well… "Yeah, but…" Jason couldn't recall the last time he flew. The truth was, falling down the Rockies scared him a lot more than he liked to think about. Nightmares came and went, where he was stabbed repeatedly over and over in the back before plummeting toward Mother Earth. He'd been in shock when the spear stabbed him, unable to manipulate the winds so he could catch both Thalia and himself—and that was what freaked him out worse.

He almost died and almost killed his acrophobic big sister too.

"I know that you're scared," Nico called out quickly, causing Jason to snap out of his thoughts. The younger demigod's demeanor contorted, concern flickering in his gaze before he tucked his hands in his pockets. A frown curled against his lips. "But you wouldn't be much of a Son of Jupiter if you couldn't fly, now would you?"

"Thalia manages just fine."

"Yeah, because she's a badass." He snorted and shook his head with quiet mirth. "Trust me. You'll like this, Jason."

Trust. Now that was a word that was suddenly hard to swallow. Jason pressed his hand to the back of his neck. He felt…fidgety.

"You trust me," Nico continued, as though reading Jason's thoughts off of index cards, "Right?"

"I do," Jason replied quickly. He did. He just…didn't trust himself. "Where are we going, exactly?"

The Son of Hades only shrugged, and his hand suddenly shot toward the basket full of apples sitting on the chest at the end of his bed. "It's a surprise. Just trust me."

-x-

Jason never should have trusted Nico.

"Would it help if you looked at me?"

"I'm pretty sure we'd crash if I looked at you."

"Snarky, Grace. There might be hope for you yet."

The light chiding was supposed to keep Jason leveled while he was in the air. Part of him—the part that wasn't panicking from how high they were from the ground—sniggered at the exchange of wit, whether or not it was intentionally funny. After a horrid internal debate with himself (which lasted a span of about five seconds before he agreed to Nico's somber face), Jason agreed to shadowtravel once more across the continent to Eagle Rock.

The nearby elementary school was empty for winter break, as with many other schools in the country. The air was laced with cold weather—blue and dim, but not as spiteful as Long Island weather. It didn't keep Jason from whirling around, debating, for two seconds before Nico reappeared with a thermos full of hot cocoa in his hand. He was way too good at that.

The thoughts passed through Jason's mind again when he got a good look at the elementary school, remembering little Jason and his littler sister. He wondered if Thalia went to a mortal school, or was homeschooled because of their mother's busy schedule. What it would've been like to actually go to a mortal school.

Probably hell, if Percy's experiences were anything to go by.

After that was the awkward debate of how Jason was to carry Nico. Shadowtraveling was much easier—even if twice, Jason was confused by the action of Nico fastening an arm over his waist. Nico wasn't overly fond of the way Jason had manhandled him the first time—and since then, it apparently left an impression. Nico disliked the idea of riding Jason's back like a child. Or the idea of a full-body hug. Or being scooped up like a bride.

(In the end, Nico swallowed his pride and discomfort and allowed Jason to carry him like a bride over a threshold—it was the safest position that Jason could think of without too much dangling on Nico's end.) They headed east, silent for the first mile and a half before Nico pointed out that Jason was shaking.

"Would it help?" Nico repeated gently under his breath—soft enough for only their ears. They were the only ones airbound at that second, but Jason felt the cocoon of worry and concern that Nico coated around them—like armor.

Taking flight was the easy part, Jason thought. The wispy wind grazed his skin in gentle gusts, whispering sweet things in his ears as the trees rustled. With one jerk of his head or a wave of his hand, Jason could have taken flight easily. The gusts had danced against his body, with an upward breeze that lifted both Jason and Nico a foot off the ground before Jason sucked in a breath and allowed them to become airborne.

To appease the other boy, Jason's blue eyes flashed over to dark, stone gray orbs for a brief second. His cheeks burned from fire and from icy weather that hummed beneath his skin. An ebony eyebrow arched high in the air, and Nico maneuvered his arms so that he could touch Jason's cheek.

Erghh.

"I-I might drop you."

"You won't drop me." Nico's gaze narrowed pointedly and he placed the same hand firmly over Jason's healing wound. "You got stabbed in the chest, fell down the side of a mountain, and still didn't let go of Thalia."

"But I landed myself in the hospital."

"You're not much of an optimist right now."

"I never thought I'd see the day where you were the one telling me to be optimistic." Despite the nervousness in his voice, Jason flashed a hardy smile that was returned by Nico's own smirk. He took the time to look at those dark eyes, with the flicker of the genius that was up to no good, and sucked in a breath. Breathe. Air. Air was very much his element. His domain.

He'd never be able to control it if he was too afraid of it.

"Go northeast for another mile," Nico muttered at his ear. "And then we'll be there."

He wasn't the type of person to give pep talks or sit there and offer advice—but Nico was definitely trying. Jason was drunk on the empathy he felt in that one touch.

So despite every pilot instinct in him, Jason looked down to dark eyes once more, which were currently fixated with the layout of the land. They'd traveled northeast for what felt like at least an hour now, without one mention of where Nico planned on taking him. It couldn't be that bad, now could it?

"Here. Stop—we're here."

Jason slammed to a halt with a gust of wind acting as a wall in front of him. Nico yelped at the abrupt stop, to which Jason clinched him tighter in his arms, and began his descent to the ground. The winds brushed up against him, like running the tips of his fingers through soft hair and giggled in his ears. Jason didn't even want to think about how many aurae must have been in the air.

Instead, he landed on the solid blacktop of a highway road, shrouded in the blue of the winter night with Nico nestled tightly in his arms. Breathing in the scent of icy air, Jason's stomach coiled with the familiar spark of energy that kept him solid. Whole, instead of a finicky cloud ready to spread apart by the nearest collision. It was Nico holding him like the night at the hospital, when the chest wound didn't matter.

Buried tightly in Jason's arms, he could see Nico's dark eyes glimmer with the light of stars, and his sharp, angular face that was riddled with bags and hidden beneath tousled black hair. Nico's nose was bright red from the exposure to the cold—probably ice at the touch. Nico's face had narrowed with age into a pointed chin, with a skeletal body hidden beneath his thick jacket. One look at him and others might have called him sickly. Close to death.

He thought Nico was the most handsome thing in the world.

"—go of me now."

Uh. What? "What?"

Nico's eyes snapped back to him, with that classic ebony eyebrow arched high in the air. He swung in Jason's grip until it loosened around him and landed on his feet. "I said you could let me go."

"Right. Sorry." Jason thanked the dark night for keeping the red in his cheeks hidden. He made a gesture to help Nico down—before remembering Nico was already standing beside him. Oh, Jupiter. Nico's demeanor flickered with amusement while Jason stuffed his hands in his pockets. Again, he spoke—"Sorry."

"Not a problem." After that, the younger demigod fell into a perch on the ground.

Not a streetlight could be seen for miles. They stood on the smooth, deserted ground with freshly-painted yellow marking off three lanes, followed by the cement divider in the middle that separated the those for those who were coming and going. The area was walled off with a forest of dark green trees on either side, extending off until Jason saw the peak of a mountain range.

"C'mon," Nico said—and Jason had no choice but to follow.

It was too dark to see anywhere but forward, where Nico was leading. They walked in silence for ten minutes while Nico's eyes scanned the ground in full concentration. Then—they stopped. Nico turned and slid down the steep edge of the road until he was at the first tree, and Jason followed.

"Where are we, exactly?" Jason let his curiosity get the better of him. As much as he liked to play follow-the-leader, Nico's secrecy was seriously killing him. They'd left camp at three in the morning to shadowtravel across the country and were now wandering around in the darkness.

Making use of resources, Nico finally pulled out a flashlight from his pocket—narrow and slim, fitted perfectly for his hand. He let the light show—and Jason cringed.

Tire marks were embedded deeply into the ground. Two trees concaved toward each other, broken halfway through with bark angles jutted in several painstaking directions like a porcupine. One had to wonder if they were ever trees at all.

"What if I told you this is where your mother died?"

Jason's heart stopped.

Before the thought could process in his head, Nico turned around with his eyes flashing—saying that no, he certainly was not kidding. His demeanor was the most serious Jason had ever seen it—nervousness in his orbs and lips tight, ready for whatever reaction Jason was going to throw at him.

"Back at the hospital, Thalia and I made a deal. I would keep tabs on you for her, in exchange for something else. And it's not that I don't keep tabs already—" Nico's face twisted, his expression ill at ease and hands fidgety. "The moment I heard your heart beat weaken, I…didn't want to leave your side. You're my friend. And I think you're an idiot for risking your life—"

"I get it," the taller demigod heard himself weakly respond. He tried to let the amusement flutter through, but even for Jason, his shock made everything sound distant. His mother had died here. Here. He was standing in the same place that his mother had been years ago.

The shock flooded through his system, pulsing where his blood ran cold. Jason's hands shook at his sides, and suddenly his hands were shaking at tenfold. He paled to a pasty shade of white, scrutinizing everything he could of the scene once more. The tire streaks started maybe five hundred feet south, skewing left and right before they took a sharp turn into the ditch. Jason took a step forward to the dented trees and absorbed the sight of broken tree trunk. His fingers curled against coiled against sharp bark—dented and askew and even completely mutilated. Branches were missing at some parts, clearly cut off by something sharp.

His mother had died in a car accident—roughly…six years ago? Jason had to have been ten or eleven when it happened. It'd been the worst part of slowly regaining his memories when he reunited for the first time with Thalia. He found out he did have a family—a mother and a sister. One who had moved on from her past life and the other who'd ended it before Jason could ever meet her.

"Are you…sure that this is where she died?" Jason whispered inaudibly, dazed. Part of him wanted it to be the truth. The other part of him—the part that disagreed with Thalia's hate for their mother—hoped it was a lie. The image of his mother dying from a drunk driving accident made him sick to his stomach.

"Definitely. It…goes with the whole death sensing thing," Nico replied, his voice weak. He sounded hesitant to mention these facts. "It's what Thalia and I agreed on. If I took care of you for her, then she'd tell me your mother's n—"

"What was her name?" Jason's pulse quickened.

"Tiffany. Tiffany Grace." The younger demigod dispelled another breath and—like magic, reached into his jacket for a folded piece of paper. "Once I knew that, I could look her up down in the Underworld. Then in old obituaries and newspapers."

Jason took the folded paper with trembling hands and unfurled it between his fingers. Surely enough—it was an old newspaper that dated back six years ago, with the running headline: OLD 80s SUPERSTAR DEAD.

The woman back at the hospital now stared back at him—both in the form of a candid picture and a mug shot right beside her. In the candid picture, her hair was pulled in an exquisite do that belonged in an old-fashion movie. Her eyes were a startling sky blue, staring back at Jason with all the confidence in the world with an air of arrogance, and her lips were shaded with a dark red lipstick. She wore a dazzling dress that showed off her petite physique.

It was terrifying to believe the next picture was of the same woman. Her eyes were a blank blue—cold as ice, instead of warm like the sky, and looking back at Jason like he was absolute scum. She was older, with her hair tangled and lipstick crooked and smudged down her jaw.

Phoenix, was Jason's only thought.

The biggest picture showed the scene they were at today—of an ambulance with his mother in the stretcher, and a tow truck pulling the car out of the mauled trees. Jason choked on a sob and read the article through his dyslexia. Hot 80s Star. Spiraling career. Runaway daughter. Jail. Alcoholism. Ultimately—death.

"Her soul was sent to the Fields of Asphodel." Nico's hands crunched in his jacket again. "If you want, I can—"

"No," Jason said with a thick breath, "don't summon her. It's just…" Too freaky. He let his nerves settle in his stomach, gaze shifting from the picture in the newspaper and the remnants of where his mother had passed on into the afterlife. The entire experience was too surreal for him.

He finally got to see his mother for the first time, and it was still in the most unorthodox thing Jason could ever imagine. Figures.

To his surprise, Nico snorted. The Son of Hades took a step back, creating a gap between them, and touched the hairs hanging at the back of his neck nervously. Jason turned to him in his confusion.

"What?"

"Nothing," Nico said, and he looked anxious. The, maybe-this-was-a-bad-idea, kind of anxious. "This…was supposed to be some kind of Christmas gift. Tracking down your mother, I mean. I—I didn't mean to…make it all depressing—"

"No—No. I love it. I can't believe you would do this for me, Nico." Despite everything, Nico's words were…pleasing. The fact that Nico had gone through all of this trouble for him. Jason swallowed his initial distress, finally, and folded the newspaper article in his hand. He stuffed it in his pocket, letting it burn with emphasis, and memorized every mark that scarred the bark. "H-How long did this take you?"

"I've been looking into it since October."

What? Blue eyes darted to the younger teen, disbelief rattling his brain.

Nico nodded sagely with a tense, wry smile etched at the corner of his lip. "I'm a nice guy, remember?"

"Yeah." Jason held his breath for a heartbeat. The soft crows of owls filled their ears, buried too deeply in the forest for them to find. His chest constricted, overwhelmed and drowning from the whole situation. It was still too hard to wrap his mind around. "Can you…tell me how she died? Other than…you know. What the newspaper can say?"

The Son of Hades bit the inside of his cheek with a hesitant gaze before nodding. "I can do that."

They started with the tire tracks. Nico knelt on asphalt when it became clear that not another soul would drive down the road and ran his fingers over the gritty marks. He looked in his element, with both feet planted to the ground and fingers tracing the remains. Jason had lightning and wind, Percy had the ocean and earthquakes, and Nico—Nico had shadows and death. Ghosts.

Dark eyes narrowed at the rugged pathway before looking up in the direction they'd come from. "She was coming here from southwest. Los Angeles. You said she lived there. Closer to Eagle Rock. I'm pretty sure that's where Thalia went to school. Yeah. She'd gotten out of the spotlight for a while before her career spiraled, I think. She was drunk. An alcoholic."

Nico did a one-eighty with his body, with a two-finger gesture in the opposing direction. His eyes studied the hill top as it rose from the darkness—a missed route because of the car.

"It was tonight. Six years ago tonight. She was drinking to ease out her problems. But…not the drinking that you said. Not because her career had gone downhill." He wrinkled his nose, like the thought of drinking utterly disgusted him. Nico took two steps forward, his eyes remaining on the far-off hilltop. "It was to ease out the fact that she'd lost Thalia and you. She got in the car to go find you. To go to Long Island and find Thalia. Something on the road must have frightened her."

They took slow steps, with Nico's feet clacking at the ground. He touched the tree with his hand and shivered.

"That's when she swerved." Falling silent, Nico's hands curled against the ashy wood and he looked back to Jason. He sighed uneasily, gaze shrouding with remorse. "The windshield must have shattered. She lunged forward, hit her head—and died on the spot." Another hitch filled Nico's conversation and he shook his head. "She thought about you when she died though. And she regretted not being a better mother. She loved you, Jason. Both of you."

Jason remained where he was with both feet planted to the ground—silent. Warm tears trickled down his face, with awed, parted lips catching the salty liquid as it ran off course into his mouth—and he scrutinized every evidence he could once again. Jason let every word Nico spoke flow through his mind, spinning and whirring like a miniature tornado in his head. The corner of his lips twitched in the saddest of smiles.

His mother had died trying to find them. She loved them.

With that, Jason broke down and cried.

He clasped trembling hands over his mouth and fell to a crouch, blue eyes scrutinizing the dark tree. Sadness caught in Jason's throat and he breathed roughly between the tiny crevasses of his fingers.

Tiffany Grace. The name sung in his ears like a Hollywood socialite—absolutely perfect. She had Thalia's nose, and his eyes, and his hair, and her smile and just—she was beautiful. She'd been beautiful. He tried to play the day of the picnic out near the Wolf House in his mind even though he knew he was too young to remember—and imagined what it must have been like to give him up. How it must have been, lying to Thalia for years about where he'd gone, and…losing both of them.

He didn't need to imagine what it was like having a mother anymore. No thought could come close—but now…

Now Jason could stop wondering how she felt about them.

A hand grazed his shoulder when Jason knew he'd been silent for way too long. He tingled at the gentle gesture, eyes rising to meet the mad genius who figured out the missing puzzle piece in Jason's life.

And then there was that feeling again—that feeling of completeness.

Nico fell to one knee, with his hands splaying over his thick boots. He touched Jason's shoulder once more with an analytical look and pulled out a handkerchief. "Um. Here."

It was the same whole feeling that Jason felt in the hospital when Nico had hugged him for comfort. Even earlier, he realized. His heart swelled in his chest, feeling full since the first night that Nico shadowtraveled to his apartment in Los Angeles. It distended with Nico's mischievous smirks, with the madman's glint in his eyes—with the regal and not-so-regal way Nico held himself despite the exhaustion in his eyes, and the soft tone of his voice.

In present time, Nico's tenor was still soft and calming to Jason's needs. Jason liked it that way.

He liked the way Nico's eyebrow raised whenever Jason did something out of the norm—like extending a hand to accept the Son of Hades, or abandoning both camps and shedding his identity as a Roman or a Greek. He loved the sensation of Nico's fingers tangled in his own, and the way Nico's dry wit accompanied his cruel but well-intentioned humor.

He loved the fact that Nico had come to trust him this much.

The fact that Nico was able to express himself more easily, so that he was whole too.

That Thalia took care of him like a little brother, and Nico returned the sentiment.

The fact that no matter what happened, Nico came back to him.

He loved that Nico had gone through all of this trouble over a thought that Jason intended as a passing thought and—a-and went through the trouble of searching for his mother's tracks for him.

Nico was the reason why he knew what his mother looked like now.

He…

Jason loved him.

He loved Nico.

"Hey," Nico murmured in a sweet tone when Jason still hadn't responded. He stroked Jason's shoulder with brittle fingers and leaned closer to catch the other boy's attention. "Hey, it's alright. You're gonna be oka—mmph."

Jason laced a hand over Nico's jaw line and padded fingers over Nico's brazened cheek. He breathed in the earthy scent of Nico's jacket and old mothballs and pressed chapped lips against Nico's own, securing Nico firmly at that spot.

He loved Nico.

I'm in love with him, Jason thought. His hands curled against ebony black hair and heart hammered in his chest. He was in love with Nico. He—

"I love you," Jason whispered when they parted. Blue eyes exuded sheer loyalty and affection and sweetness and endearment and pure earnestness as he looked upon the Son of Hades. "Gods—I-I…love you, Nico."

He snapped out of elation when Nico's demeanor flooded with horror.