I Need To Find Myself
Song Inspired: Aaliyah- I Refuse (Skip past the intro; it gets better :] )
Katara was putting on her flats and fixing her blouse inside the restroom that accompanied the guestroom the three friends rented out; her mind still plagued over what happened the day before…
"Hello, my name is Katara; I'm Aang's friend."
"Aang's friend…"
Katara was almost in disbelief that she introduced herself to Aang's current girlfriend; the sheer thought of having done so sent waves of nausea up and down her throat as she struggled to forget the whole encounter ever happened. She didn't know what to feel; Anger? Rage? Disgust? Katara shut her eyes tightly, nodding her head back and forth as if trying to somehow shake off the thoughts that were overrunning her mind, "No, no, I can't allow myself to succumb to negative emotions; I've moved on, I have Lee, I'm happy." thought Katara to herself as she began to roughly brush her hair.
Suddenly, she heard a knock, "Katara? Katara are you alright?" asked Suki from the other side of the door.
Katara quickly glanced at the door, then focused back to her long locks, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out in a sec." said Katara as she proceeded to tie her hair in a sleek ponytail.
"Alright, just letting you know that Toph and I are ready, so meet us in the front desk, ok?" suggested Suki.
Katara smiled, "Gotcha." said Katara as she finished the final loop on her ponytail, fluffing it's back.
She soon exited from the restroom; she checked around to make sure she had everything she needed for her day with the girls, "Alright, I have my wallet, and that's pretty much it." said Katara to herself as she passed her hand on her thighs, making sure she was in tip top shape for her outing. She jogged to the door of the rented room and exited to meet her friends in the inn lobby; she immediately caught sight of them, seemingly having a conversation that got suspiciously quiet as Katara approached them.
Katara squinted her eyes, "What were you guys talking about?" asked Katara.
Suki and Toph looked at each other nervously, not knowing whether or not to answer their friend's question. Toph turned her head as if disinterested and walked away from the two, exiting the Inn as if insinuating that Suki should talk to Katara about their concerns alone. Meanwhile, Suki looked back at Toph's departure nervously, soon turning her head to face Katara; She took a breath and began to speak, "Katara, are you sure you're willing to continue out trip? You know, after what happened?" asked a disturbed Suki, placing her hand on Katara's shoulder as if she somehow sensed Katara's distress.
Katara determinedly placed her fists on her waist, "What? Pfft, Of course I can; what happened yesterday was unexpected I'll admit, but I'm fine, trust me." said Katara as she waved her hand fancifully to her friend.
Suki released her grip on Katara's shoulder and smiled, "Alright then, I'm just making sure. You know I don't like to see you perturbed." said Suki as she chuckled lightly.
Katara grinned, "Yeah, I know, but I can't just leave; we just got here." said Katara as she proceeded to walk out the inn to meet Toph, who was patiently waiting outside. Katara continued on, "Besides, I haven't even seen Lee yet, and I really want to stop by his place for a surprise visit." said Katara joyfully as she grabbed her hands longingly.
Suki raised her brow at her friend, still analyzing her behavior as if she were a licensed shrink, "Alright then; plus, we need to find dresses for the dance, remember?" asked Suki as she continued to walk alongside the young water tribe woman, pointing to her kindly. When the two young women finally went outside, they caught glimpse of Toph lounging on the foundation pillar to the left of the Inn entrance. Toph immediately sensed Suki and Katara and walked towards them, stretching her arms to the air.
"So, where do you two want to go?" asked Toph as she put her hands in her pocket.
Katara looked at Suki, "Well, how about we just look around, see what we can find." suggested Katara as she gestured to the main plaza.
Toph smiled, "Sounds like a good idea." said Toph as she folded her hands, "And it seems to be a lot less crowded today too so it should be smooth sailing for a good while." said Toph as she continued to seismic sense the ground below her feet.
Suki then focused on Toph, "Yeah, come to think of it, it does seem a lot less crowded today." said Suki as she looked around her surroundings.
Katara lightly chuckled, "I know why things died down." said Katara as she smiled to the ground.
Suki glanced at Katara, while Toph slightly turned her head, her blank eyes focused on the ground.
Katara still focused on the ground, "Every time Aang arrived somewhere a swarm of people would accumulate, somehow catching word that the Avatar was in town." continued Katara as she softly blinked her eyes, "That's why there was so many people crowding the plaza." finished Katara as she raised her face to her friends, a flashback submerging from her consciousness…
Katara and Aang entered the great city of Ba Sing Se, hands intertwined as the gates slowly opened for their grand entrance. As the couple entered, they were surprised to see a great swarm of people awaiting their arrival by the entryway. Many people, children, young adults, elders, all waiting for them.
Katara giggled as she and Aang proceeded to walk into the city, grabbing his arm as if he were somehow to slip away into the sea of people , "Oh man, it seems that this always happens wherever we go huh?" asked Katara as she observed the vast multitude of people watching their every move.
Aang chuckled as he pulled Katara close, "Yeah, I guess so." said Aang as his attention soon turned to her face. He gazed at her lovingly, coming to a complete halt from their brisk walk to take her in fully.
Katara soon followed suit, looking back at her lover, questioning his motive, "Aang?" asked Katara as she smiled back at him.
Aang smiled seductively, his eyes half closed, "Katara…..you're so beautiful." said Aang longingly as he walked towards her.
Katara's eyes followed suit, approaching her Avatar, her lover as he placed his forehead on hers, grabbing her waist as he searched her eyes lustfully.
"I love you Katara." said Aang as he leaned towards her lips, interlocking in a nurturing kiss."
"I love you Katara…."
Those words echoed through the young water tribe woman's mind, "He loved me, yeah right. If he loved me we would still be together." thought Katara disappointingly to herself as she let out a huge sigh.
Toph and Suki turned to each other, befuddled by Katara's long silence; they soon turned to watch Katara as she continued to contemplate her thoughts in silence, her eyes wandering into nothingness.
Toph decided to end Katara's daydream by snapping her fingers in front of Katara's nose, "Alright Sugarqueen snap out of it." said Toph as she placed her hand on Katara's shoulder, "Come on, we have places to go." finished Toph as she nodded her head towards the direction to the Main Plaza.
Suki nodded in compliance, "Yeah, let's go." said Suki as she placed her hands in her pockets.
Katara looked at the two young women with a dumbfounded expression on her face, then smiled, "Alright." said Katara, fully impelled to find the right outfit for her to wear to the Fire Nation Event with her two closest friends.
Aang was sitting by the beach, the thought of Katara watching him interlocked in Onji's embrace was giving him the feeling of wanting to regurgitate, so he decided to take a walk alone by the beach. His gaze focused on the incredible view of the ocean as the sun emanated from the water.
"The water's so beautiful today." thought Aang as he continued to admire the ocean's cultivating synchronicity, his focus on the serene waves lightly collide with the dark, volcanic rock by the edge of the beach. Just as his casual thoughts were about to take over, Katara crept into his mind. He imagined her elegantly bending water with him, one time in particular that seemed to strike his mind…
"So you were showing me the octopus form?" asked Aang eagerly.
Katara turned to face him "Right, Let me see your stance." said Katara as she observantly watched Aang slightly bend his knees and position his arms in defensive mode.
Katara watched him, and immediately saw an error in his position, and decided to approach him and fix his stature.
Katara crept up behind him and gently grabbed his arms, her body pressing close to his "Your arms are too far apart." said Katara as she as she guided Aang's arms to the proper form.
Katara continued as her smooth hands brushed over Aang's arms, See, if you move them closer together, you protect your center, you got it?" asked Katara.
Aang blushed at Katara's closeness; After all, he's never been so close to a girl he considered to be immensely attractive. Aang blatantly answered, "Oh, yeah, thanks." finished a flushed Aang.
Aang smiled weakly, his focus still on the water before him, "Just like old times." said Aang silently to himself, his expression turning into that of disappointment as he closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest. He then placed his hands in his pockets as he let out a sigh as he raised his to the sky, eyes still closed with a stern expression on his face, still contemplating his thoughts. He then thought of the day before, seeing Katara, and seeing her look back at him with the sweet smile that she gave him before she walked out of the boutique. He thought of her bittersweet expression, beating himself up for letting things happen the way it did, grunting to himself as he placed his hands over his face. "I shouldn't have let Onji kiss me…" thought Aang to himself as he relaxed his hands to his sides, opening his eyes in realization.
"Wait a minute, Onji's my girlfriend now. I shouldn't feel bad over kissing Onji in front of my friends." said Aang to himself, as if trying to convince himself that he did absolutely nothing wrong; his face overrun with confusion as he stared determinedly towards to ocean, the crisp wind gently blowing past his monk robes.
But suddenly, the thought of Katara came up again; only this time, he thought of the early morning he departed from Ba Sing Se…
"….I'm alright now; I'm happy where I am and things are looking good between me and Lee…"
"I'm alright now…."
Katara's words continued to mutter inside Aang's head, "See, she's alright; There's nothing to feel ashamed about. Besides, she has Lee, and he seems to treat her right…" said Aang distastefully, like the first time he tried onion-banana juice when he was being taught to open his chakras in order to freely unlock his Avatar state with Guru Pathik.
Then his thoughts shifted to that night with Guru Pathik, how he helped him greatly in his quest to unlock his Avatar state, and it hit him, "Maybe he can help me with my mental dilemma!" exclaimed Aang as he pointed to the air. He joyously ran to the direction to Onji's house, splitting the sand from his path as if he'd been running in the speed of sound until finally, he saw the giant fluffy mythical monster that was Appa, resting on the warm sand in front of Onji's house. Aang smiled as he got closer; he saw Onji rubbing the giant bison's nose as she fed him mangoes. Onji immediately caught notice of him, raising herself as she dusted off sand flyaways from her smooth, lacy burgundy dress.
Onji smiled, "Hey Aang, just finished feeding Aang for ya." said Onji caringly, "I was wondering if you wanted me to make you anything to eat? You seemed to really like the chiaotzu I made yesterday." suggested Onji as she placed her hands behind her back, giving Aang a cheesy smile.
Aang smiled guiltily at Onji, "Well, actually…." Aang hesitated as he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully, chuckling innocently.
Onji's caring expression soon turned a bit sinister, "Ok….." said Onji quietly as she turned her back to Aang.
Aang's grin turned on itself as he worryingly watched Onji's actions, "Onji, it's just that….I really need to go somewhere, to figure things out and-"
Onji immediately turned around, "Figure WHAT out?" demanded Onji as she placed her hands on her hips.
Aang was taken aback by Onji's rebellion to his request, and Onji looked back to Aang, feeling like a real heal for having snapped at him the way she did. Her anger immediately changed to sadness, as she softly approached Aang, grabbing his hands into hers, "Aang….I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me." said Onji, looking away shamefully from her Avatar lover.
Aang looked on in confusion, then smiled caringly to her, "Hey" said Aang as he gently turned her check to face him, "I know that it's not easy for me to come and go the way I've been lately, and I know that it's difficult to have to wait, but I assure you that everything's going to be alright. I promise." finished Aang.
Onji's eyes turned watery as she felt Aang's sincerity from the words he muttered to her, gazing lovingly into his eyes that reflected a shade of blue mixed with his natural storm gray color. She then smiled, and lent herself in his arms, Aang returning her embrace, "I'll see you when I get back." said Aang as he parted from her. He walked towards Appa as he jumped into the air, landing softly on the bison's back.
Aang waved to her as he took to the air on Appa, disappearing from sight as Onji looked unsettlingly at his departure. Aang looked ahead eagerly; his journey leading him to the Eastern Air Temple.
Onji turned her back to face her small home, "Don't worry Aang, I'll take care of it." Continued Onji as she placed her hand on top of her heart, "I'll make sure to rid you of any distractions." finished Onji cryptically as the wind blew through her short strands of hair.
Katara, Toph, and Suki looked around as they wandered the nearly vacant Main Plaza.
"Man, if only we came here today instead of yesterday." said Toph as she stared blankly at the ground below her feet.
Katara continued to search, "Yeah, you could say that again." said Katara, her face suddenly turning from gloomy to awe as she caught sight of something that simply stunned her.
Suki noticed the look on Katara's face, a questionable look on her face, "Katara?" asked Suki as she waved her hand in front of Katara's face in vain. Suki had no idea what would shock Katara in such away, unless she saw Aang again with that floosy Onji, until she turned to check out what Katara had such voracious focus on. Suki's eyes widened as she glimpsed at what she considered to be the perfect dress. It was beautiful, flowing gently from the wooden manican's frame as the wind slightly nestled below the dress, lifting it gently as if it were woven by a spider's silk.
Toph immediately sensed that both Katara and Suki halted from their walk, but no words came out of their mouths. She just stood there, waiting to get a response from the two women, finally realizing that waiting for Katara and Suki to say anything that they've found interesting was futile, "Hello!" screamed Toph as she tightly gripped her fists.
Katara and Suki jumped, completely startled by the sound of Toph's voice. They immediately snapped out of their covetous grasp on the dress on display at a local clothing store and turned hesitantly to face their powerful earth bending friend.
Toph stomped her feet on the ground, elevating the earth around her, "Are you two dunderheads going to say anything or just leave me in the dark for the rest of the day!" yelled Toph angrily, fully loathing being ignored by her two friends.
Suki waved her hands, "I'm sorry Toph, don't get too mad there alright?" chuckled Suki nervously.
Katara raised her eyebrow to Suki, then turned to Toph, "Yeah, sorry Toph; it's just that we saw a very beautiful dress and-"
Toph immediately intervened, "Why don't we just go inside the store then?" suggested Toph.
Katara gave Toph an annoyed glance, "Alright then." humphed Katara, turning her focus to Suki, "Suki, let's check this place out." said Katara excitedly.
Suki nodded, and they entered the small store, observing the many dressed, specialty trousers, fancy blouses, and of course, traditional Fire Nation shoes with the curved point in the front.
Toph departed from the two young women, her vibrations leading her way to a pair of beautifully crafted trousers, "Hmm… these seem nice." said Toph to herself as she continued to analyze the feel of the trousers before her.
Katara and Suki, on the other hand, hand their eyes on the dress that caused them to ogle to on display. Katara glanced at Suki, wondering if maybe she should just let her have it, "She should have the dress; after all, she's the one getting married, not me. She should have a beautiful dress to symbolize her happiness publicly." thought Katara to herself, and before she knew it, there was Suki, dress in hand as she spoke with the store clerk. Katara glanced to the ground disappointingly, "Yeah, she deserves the dress…" thought Katara to herself; unknowingly, Suki had approached her without warning, interrupting her negative thoughts.
Suki smiled, dress in hand as she offered it to Katara, "Here; I thought this dress would look awesome on you." said Suki as she gave Katara a generous smile.
Katara smiled thankfully, "Really? Thank you Suki." said an eager Katara as she lunged at her friend, embracing her for being so considerate of her.
Suki returned the embrace, "Really, it's the least I can do. Besides, dark purple looks way better on you than it does on me." said Suki as she lightly chuckled, lending the dress on Katara's open arms.
Katara chuckled compliantly as she accepted the dress, looking down at it's beautiful craftsmanship. The dress contained a lacy pattern that traveled from between the cleavage to the stomach; the material made out of a beautiful, soft silk that ended just above the knee, sleeveless and seductive in sight. Katara continued to marvel at the lace's simple yet elegant pattern, "Perfect" said Katara to herself as she approached the shoe section of the store.
Suki was contemplating on whether or not to buy the silky, green dress on her right hand, or the silky, blue dress on her left hand. She was in such a quarrel that she walked to Toph to ask for her opinion on the matter.
"Hey Toph, which one do you think looks better, green or blue?" asked Suki, raising the dresses to the air.
Toph turned to her blind friend, "Seriously? You're asking the blind person of the group which color looks better on you?" asked Toph sarcastically as she raised her eyebrow and folded her arms, formal trousers in hand.
Suki gave Toph a dumbfounded look, then switched focus to her dresses, "I think green looks better." said Suki as she raised her green selection to the air.
"Yeah, go with green." said Toph as she walked away from her confused friend.
Meanwhile, Katara was busy trying to pick out the right shoes to her outfit; she scoured through the shoe selection in disappointment, "Ugh, pointy, pointy, pointy." said Katara to herself as she continued to try and find matching shoes. Suddenly, a pair caught her eye, "gasp, these…are….perfect!" said Katara as she happily picked up a pair of deep purple flats; she held the pair up in the air as she analyzed it's comforting arch on the bottom, "Yep, these are the shoes." said Katara smoothly.
Katara got up from the shoe section and proceeded to pay for her ensemble; Toph and Suki soon followed suit, catching Katara's attention.
Katara looked Suki and Toph up and down, "You guys are done already?" asked Katara as she proceeded to wait for the clerk.
"Yep." said Toph and Suki.
"I decided to go for green; the color just compliments me you know?" said Suki as she held her dress up and matching pair of green, pointy shoes so that Katara can get a better look.
"Hmm…very nice" said Katara perkily, "How about you Toph, what did you get?" asked Katara as she lunged her head back to get a better look at her friend.
Toph held her outfit up, "Here, take a look." said Toph happily, rising up a pair of dark red trousers with studded gold buttons on the pant cuffs, and a light red blouse with a similar design to a Kimono, except that it ends on the top of the hips like a regular shirt.
Katara thought her ensemble was…interesting, "Wow, nice Toph" said Katara forcefully, "No shoes?" asked Katara.
Toph immediately raised her other hand, revealing a pair of crimson shoes with the traditional Fire Nation point on its front, "Nice huh?" asked Toph as she smiled innocently.
Katara smiled kindly to her friend, "Toph, you're going to look great!" said Katara enthusiastically, Toph grinning agreeably.
The clerk soon showed up, and the three young women paid for their ensembles, quickly making their way out of the store merrily like giggling schoolgirls.
"Well that was fun." said Toph happily, Katara noticing her friend's gleaming attitude. "Yeah, it was fun wasn't it?" said Katara with a perky expression on her face.
Suki sighed in relief, "Well, glad we got that out of the way; now we have awesome outfits to wear to the event; I'm sure that we'll be turning heads." continued Suki, "And hopefully, turn Sokka's head." finished Suki seductively.
Toph chuckled, "Oh yeah, in that outfit? He won't take his eyes off of you." Inclined Toph as she pointed to the bag that contained Suki's ensemble, "And you, Sugarqueen…" continued Toph.
Katara turned her head to face her as they continued to walk to their inn, "Yeah?" asked Katara obliviously.
Toph's smile soon transformed to a menacing grin, "I think you'll be catching a lot of people's attention, including a certain Airbender's" finished a fresh Toph.
Katara immediately blushed at Toph's indication, "The only man who's opinion I care about is Lee's; no one else's." finished Katara bashfully.
Toph continued, "Oh come on Katara, you seriously don't care about whether or not Aang's going to check you out? Seems pretty gullible to me." said Toph as she crossed her arms together.
Katara rolled her eyes, "I don't think so." continued Katara, "Now can we please drop the subject?" asked Katara.
Toph giggled menacingly, "Yeah, alright. I'll drop it, for now." finished Toph cryptically.
Katara shot a displeasing glare at Toph, who happened to notice her displeasure, seemingly striving in it.
Suki immediately sensed the tension in the air and turned to her Water Tribe friend, "Relax" suggested Suki as she placed her hand on her shoulder, Katara still a bit upset by Toph's insinuations. Suki looked at Katara worryingly, hoping that a duel wouldn't erupt smack dab in the middle of the plaza; she quickly intervened, "Hey, why don't we just use the rest of the day to relax and tomorrow we can meet this Lee guy you keep raving about; you can spend the whole day with him if you want." suggested Suki as she lightly nudged her friend on the shoulder.
Katara's attitude suddenly faded as she heard his name; she turned her head to face Suki, thanking her with her eyes as Suki lost her grip on Katara's shoulder, "Yeah, we'll do that." said a gleaming Katara as she shot a smirk at Toph; Toph caught suit of Katara's smile and blew a raspberry as the three friends continued to briskly walk around the plaza.
Onji immediately began to rummage her things, "Let's see, what..should..I bring…with me…" said Onji quietly to herself as she rummaged through her dresser, until finally, she found what she's been looking for. Her face gleamed, "Yes…yes…this is what I was looking for." mentioned a relieved Onji, holding up a very long, dark cloak. She immediately placed it over her head, taking one final look in the mirror to make sure she was truly incognito before picking up her bags; she then proceeded to exit her home, taking a look back as her home became smaller and smaller. She immediately passed through the sandy beach until she approached the Fire Nation Harbor. She was reluctant in searching for the answers she needed to carry out her plan, but hesitant that she might be caught. She continued on, frantically searching for the seer she's heard so much about until her search led her to a dark, grungy alley between the Main Plaza and the harbor; there, she saw a man with a muddy gray shawl, stringy white hair, and wrinkles that looked as if they were carved by a blade.
Onji's eyes widened, "That's the guy." thought Onji to herself as she slowly approached the withered, old man, sitting on a small wooden stool by a metal door. Onji finally reached him, a bit hesitant and anxious about asking him of her ply, but she didn't come all that way to suddenly back down, so she finally came face to face with him. The old man looked at her strangely, "What can I help you with?" asked the seer; a lazy eye drifting away from his focus on her and teeth so yellow they rivaled the sun's bright rays. Onji just stood there, mentioning nothing as his eyes searched hers, almost as if he were reading all of her problems at once, sifting through every bit of memory contained inside her cranium. Onji continued to look on nervously, taking in a gulp as he proceeded to pierce through her memory.
Soon after, his eyes turned dark, almost as if possessed by an ominous entity. Onji was taken aback as she gasped in sheer fear for what she was witnessing, but tried to relax herself, for she knew very well that this was all expected when you visit the underground seer; no, this was the real thing, and she knew it, walking into his presence disregarding the possible consequences that will be hers if she makes any wrong moves.
The seer's voice soon turned just as dark and heavy as his eyes did, multiple voices coming from his mouth at once as he spoke, "The individual you are searching for resides in Earth Kingdom land." stated the seer menacingly, his eyes still filled with a darkness that rivals even the most remote shadows.
Onji's eyebrow rose up, eagerly awaiting more answers. Her bags hit the ground by her feet as she balled up her fists in desperation and bent down to get closer, "Where? Where can I find this individual!" asked Onji hysterically, sweat dripping from the warmth emanating from her long, black cloth.
The seer's dark eyes glared into hers, "When you arrive, this person will reside in the village of Dacitan; west of Ba Sing Se." finished the seer, his dark eyes beginning to come out of him, resembling smoked charcoal as it departed from his eyes and mouth. He shut his eyes tight as released a gasping breath, resembling as if he had been choked by an unseen force; falling down from his wooden stool, on his knees as he held up his weight, still gasping for air.
Onji's desperation soon dissipated, leaving her relaxed and confident in the information she just received from the seer, but was horrified by the seer's actions and ran away, taking one last glance at the old man as she continued to run off; catching sight of the old man looking up to her, somehow horrified by her ply. Her eyes widened as she continued to run off with bags in hand, feeling a sense of empowerment at obtaining the knowledge she now had. She immediately heard a loud voice echo from one of the many ships on the dock, "ALL ABOARD TO THE EARTH KINGDOM; ALL ABOARD!" yelled the captain of the Earth Kingdom ship to her right. Onji turned her head curiously towards the ship, "My ride." thought Onji to herself, grunting as she better positioned her bags. She immediately ran towards the entry to the ship, where she was met by an Able Seaman.
"Tickets please." mentioned the Seaman.
Onji hesitated a bit, "Huh, oh, yes yes I have…It here somewhere…" said Onji brokenly as she searched frantically through her pockets, finally finding what she's been looking for, "H-Here." said Onji nervously as she gave the Seaman her ticket, hands trembling uncontrollably.
The Seaman took her ticket, checking its authenticity, as a paranoid Onji looked to each of her sides, making sure that no one recognized her. The Seaman finished analyzing the ticket, then glanced at Onji suspiciously, "Alright, come aboard." declared the Seaman.
Onji immediately relaxed, "Perfect" said Onji to herself as she walked away from the Seaman, "Hope you're prepared to see me." Mentioned Onji to herself eagerly as she walked into the Earth Kingdom Ship, fully ready to embark on this journey, and yet, with a sense of intense fear cluttered in her chest.
Now what exactly is Onji up to? Stay Tuned...