Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing or Harry Potter. Wish I did but. :)

==From the journal of N. TONKS==

(-) Notes

[-] Reference

It's becoming more and more difficult to hide things from the rest.

I don't mind sharing, never been one to worry about that but I do like some private time. I know Seras is keeping a diary and Harry has one as well but I've never been on for such things and only in the past month have I decided to try and keep a Journal of what's been happing to me.

(I don't have the patience to keep a proper day to day diary.)

Life here at Hellsing is great. Harry and Seras are great. I was so jealous of her at first but she and Harry have accepted me on a level that makes me not want to care.

It's weird at times. I mean Seras has got the ghost of her first vampiric kill somewhere inside her and she makes an appearance every now and then.

I had been there when the Nazis had attacked, saw them wipe out most of the Hellsing house guard and then bore witness to that prick Major attempt to trick Alucard into reintegrating tainted blood. Alucard had consumed the blood and he had faded for about half a day but because he knew what soul he was looking for he came back with the help of Harry.

Harry had been exhausted and both Seras and myself and had taken turns comforting him as he recovered. He had been magically drained trying to save the citizens of muggle [mundane] London. He must have killed at least 300 real vampires on his own.

I had been at his side casting blasting hexes and bludgeoning curses at anything with a swastika.

Seras had been left to guard the manor and that had gone to shit when a nasty piece of work called Zorin stormed the grounds. Seras had been stationed on the roof and had taken out one of the few zeppelins that had been missed in Brazil.

Apparently, I was told, she had gone berserk after the Hellsing guard were wiped out. Seras went on the offensive and ripped Zorin a new one but did not kill the enemy vampire. Seras had taken a leaf out of Harry's book. Seras broke the woman, ripping bits of her tattooed flesh off her bones and making her watch while she ate every bit. Seras eventually absorbed the Nazi and made her part of herself.

It was during this process that it was realised that Zorin was being controlled by the major (and thus let us save the others). Sure she still was a Nazi and though all Jews should be eradicated and that Hitler was a good person at heart. But she was not Evil. She had been made into that by the Major.

To tell the truth Zorin was like the love child of Alucard and Harry. Evil with a heart of blood covered gold. And I will admit I had been sceptical of all this but Alucard had come and explained it at dinner once, about familiars and souls.

After that bastard mother fucker of a battle, things really changed. Many things. Less than 6 months later I was Harry's lover. I still feel guilty having attacked Seras but Zorin had formed from the shadows and had stopped me from harming anyone. Harry had declared his love for both of us and had bedded me there and then along with Seras.

As I look back from that time till now I see how things may have turned out. Harry is becoming darker and darker, he was never a person of the light as Headmaster Dumbledore once told the assembly at school. No Harry was a demon, a person like Alucard (or at least becoming like him). His methods may be evil, but evil suffers in the end so it's a twisted sort of good.

Their [Harry's and Alucard's] approach may gruesome and gore filled and I will admit I have taken to following their style in battle. But ripping out a serial killers heart now, save lives in the future. It ridiculous just sending them to prison for life. It's easier to just kill them. Saves tax payer too.

Though we mostly kill ghouls and vampires. Alucard and Harry have on occasion made some of England's most evil mortals disappear.

I myself have ripped the balls off a paedophile in central park and made him eat them. Seras also has a penchant for rapists and child abusers. I will have to ask her why one day.

Integra does not approve of us getting involved with muggle [mundane] crimes but has never said to stop. I've heard from some of the men in the Hellsing guard discussing what Integra once did to a traitor but it was only a rumor and I don't hold much faith in it as I cannot belive she would get that close and personal wile torturing.

I shudder to think what that woman would actually do to such a person [traitor].