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Chapter 10

Haley woke up with a start to the sound of the alarm clock blaring in her ears, and opened her eyes groggily. She looked down and saw that she was in her pajamas, and for a minute wondered how that happened. Memories of the previous night came flooding back, and the last thing she remembered was watching the telly and eating pizzas with Nathan. Nathan. She had a slight panic attack when she realized that it must have been him who had dressed her in her pajamas and put her to bed. She looked around and noticed that there was a note on her pillow. She gingerly picked it up and read, 'Good morning. I didn't want to wake you last night so I hope you don't mind I put on your pj's for you. Nothing happened, I promise. There's coffee in the kitchen. I'll see you later Hales. Nathan.'

She sank back in her pillows and closed her eyes and saw Brooke and Peyton in her head. The realization that they knew about her past gave her a feeling of dread. A tear rolled down her cheek as she remembered that night a year ago.

Flashback

She was sitting at the back of the ambulance with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders giving her some warmth in the cool night. She could see flashes of red and blue lights from the police car and a police officer approaching.

"Mrs. Walker?" she could hear him say referring to Steve's last name which she had adopted. She lifted her head, revealing a tear stained face. "I'm sorry, they did all they could, but the paramedics couldn't save your husband," he had said, and all she could was just stare blankly at him.

End of flashback

Mrs. Walker. She hadn't used that name since Steve died. She quickly wiped the tears away and got up. Thankfully it was a Saturday so she didn't have to go to school. She knew she had to see Brooke and Peyton sooner or later to explain the newspaper article, but for the moment she was grateful for the silence the empty house offered. Half an hour later she felt better after her shower. She was sipping the coffee that Nathan had brewed for her when he walked in her kitchen.

"Hey, are you feeling better?" he asked as he sat down next to her.

"Hi, yeah I am. What are you doing here?" she asked and took out a mug for him before pouring the dark liquid into it.

He smiled. "Just checking in on you."

She bent her head down. "Nathan, you've done so much for me and I don't know if I can thank you enough. But can I ask you something? I woke up in my pj's this morning and I saw your note. Did nothing really happen last night?"

He took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "Haley, I swear nothing happened. I just figured you'd be more comfortable sleeping in your pj's than in your jeans. Besides I have much more respect for you than you give me credit for."

"Thank you," she said softly. "For everything."

He touched her cheek comfortingly. "You're welcome. Now you want to tell me what happened last night? Collapsing just to get out of a date with me?" he said jokingly.

She managed a smile. "I don't know what happened," she said evasively. "One minute I was talking to Brooke and Peyton, and the next minute I was at the hospital." He looked at her sceptically, as if he wasn't entirely sure that that was all there was to it. "Hey, do you mind if I go over to Brooke's house for a minute? I need to thank her for last night," she said.

"Yeah, sure. I need to go to the Community Centre anyway. Practice starts in half an hour."

She slapped her head as she suddenly remembered that she had some tutoring to do that morning. "Oh shit! I forgot about that. Can I meet you there? I promise I'll be quick."

"Hey, you don't have to go if you don't feel up to it. I'm sure the kids will understanding."

"Nathan, stop babying me. I'm fine. I'll meet you there."

He looked at her, his eyes full of concern. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," she said firmly. "I'd better go next door. Could you lock the door for me? Thanks." And before he could protest, she was already gone.

"Brooke?" Haley poked her head in her neighbour's door a couple of minutes later. She had seen Peyton's car outside, which made the task that she had set herself to do that much easier.

Brooke turned her head at the sound of her voice, relief evident in her face when she saw that Haley was alright. "Hey Tutorgirl, do you feel better? Come on in."

Haley did as she was told and was immediately greeted by a waft of incredible smell coming from the kitchen. "Wow, I see that you have the whole Martha Stewart thing going on in here."

Brooke just shrugged. "Yeah, well. Since you taught how to make pancakes, I've been trying out several other recipes. Who knew I could kick ass in the kitchen! So how about you grab a chair, and I'll make you some eggs and toast."

Haley put up a hand in protest. "Oh no Brooke. Thanks for the offer but Nathan's expecting me at the community centre. Actually I came here to talk to you and Peyton about yesterday. I saw her car outside so I figured that she must be here."

"Oh." Brooke grew serious at the mention of yesterday. "Yeah, she is. She's with Lucas talking about Led Zeppelin. Don't ask me why," she said smirking. "Peyton! Haley's here!" she yelled.

A few seconds later Peyton appeared sporting a guilty look on her face, followed by Lucas behind her. "Hey Haley," she said in greeting. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am. Thanks for taking me to the hospital."

"I'm really sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to put my nose where it obviously doesn't belong," she said apologetically. Clearly she blamed herself for what happened to Haley last night.

Lucas looked at the girls in confusion. "Wait a minute, why is Peyton apologizing for last night? What actually happened?"

To be honest, having Lucas in on the conversation was not an ideal situation for Haley, but she felt she owed it to Peyton and Brooke to explain what happened. She took in a deep breath before facing the three of them. "Peyton, you were right. I lied about how Steve died. He didn't die in a car accident. But I guess you knew that already since you already saw the newspaper article."

"What newspaper article?" Lucas asked. Peyton immediately fished it out from her jeans pocket and gave it to him.

"Wait, you've been carrying that with you the whole time?" Brooke asked, which Peyton answered with a mere shrug.

"Yeah, well. I didn't want to just leave it lying around." Lucas turned his back on them as he concentrated on reading the article. When he had finished he turned around and looked at Haley with shock.

"Oh my God, Haley. I had no idea."

Haley smirked bitterly. "Yeah, it's not something I'd want the whole world to know. And you have to understand, I did it out of desperation. I had no other choice. And you can't tell Nathan about this. I would like to tell him myself." They nodded their head in agreement.

"So, you want to tell us about it?" Lucas asked slowly. Haley looked at them and sighed. There was no turning back now. With as deep a breath as her lung could take, she started to tell them what happened that fateful night a year ago.

When she had finished, a momentary silence ensued. Lucas looked at the girls, at a loss for words. Peyton was the first to break the silence. She went over to Haley and enveloped her in a bear hug before saying, "I'm so sorry Haley. But you should know that Steve's death wasn't your fault."

Haley returned the hug and said quietly, "yeah, that's what I've been telling myself all this time."

"Well, now we're here to tell you again," Lucas said. He felt his blood boil in his veins after hearing her story. How could such a nice girl like Haley have such a horrible past?

"Thanks guys," she said and got up. "I'd better meet Nathan. He'll be wondering where I am. And I would really appreciate it if you didn't mention this to Nathan."

Brooke raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Why not?" she asked.

"Because I'd like him to know from me, and I'm not ready to tell him yet."

"But you told us," Peyton said.

"I know," Haley said exasperatedly. "But Nathan-" she let the words trailed off.

Lucas looked at her intently. "Is there something going on between you and Nathan?" It was Brooke and Peyton's turn to look at Haley with interest.

Haley felt her cheeks grow hot and knew that her friends would be seeing the tell tale blush on her face. "No, there's nothing going on between us."

"Not yet," a grinning Peyton muttered under her breath.

Haley heard it although she pretended not to. "It's just that Nathan has been really good to me and I just don't want to scare him off."

Brooke who had been watching the exchange quietly decided to jump in. "Guys, she says she's not ready to tell him. Plus, this is her decision to make so lay off her." Haley looked at her gratefully which she responded with a wink.

"Ok I really should go. Thank you so much for understanding." Haley started to make a beeline for the door. She turned around at the sound of Lucas's voice.

"Hey Hales. We meant what we said. We're all here for you. Nathan included." Haley nodded and gave him a small smile before closing the door behind her.

"Ms. James!" a voice called out to her as soon as she entered the community centre. She smiled at the boy behind the voice.

"Hey Jackson, are you playing today?" she asked as her eyes darted around the centre. Her eyes quickly caught Nathan's and she smiled.

"Yeah, I am but I was kinda waiting for you. I'm having a bit of trouble with my arithmetic."

She took off her jacket and sat down at the bleachers. "Ok, why don't we talk about that after your practice session over there," she said, pointing her finger at a waiting Nathan.

"Awesome! Thanks Ms. James." She turned her attention at the group of waiting students. Every once in a while she would look up and could see Nathan watching her. Lucas's question about her and Nathan still rang in her ears. She couldn't deny the instant attraction between them, but maybe that was all there was to it. Just a mere attraction, but maybe she owed it to herself to find out for sure. She realised that she couldn't live her life alone forever, but everything was happening so fast between them it was making her head spin. With a sigh, she stored her thoughts on Nathan at the back of her mind and tried to concentrate.

A few hours later, a tired looking Nathan made his way to her as she said her goodbye to the last of her students. He took off his shirt and for a minute Haley couldn't take her eyes off his perfectly chiseled body glistening with sweat. Nathan seemed oblivious to her stare and bent down to pick up a bottle of water from where she was sitting.

"So what were you doing at Brooke's for so long?" he asked as he drank the cold liquid greedily.

Haley snapped out of her stare and blushed furiously. "Oh nothing, I was just thanking her for taking me to the hospital last night." He looked like he was about to ask further but decided against it.

"Okay. So what are your plans today?" he said, hoping he could weasel his way into her plans for the day.

She shrugged and picked up her bag. "Nothing actually. I fully intend to be lazy for the rest of the day."

"Too lazy to go out for dinner with me?" he asked suggestively. When she didn't answer, he continued. "Come on Hales. What do you say? Pick you up at 7?"

After a moment's hesitation, she smiled and nodded. "Okay," she said shyly.

"Great!" Nathan said as he beamed widely. They walked companionably towards the shower room before she halted as she prepared to wait for him to clean up. She could already feel the flutter in her stomach as she thought about tonight. She leaned against the wall and folded her arms. To be honest, she was pretty excited at the prospect of a date with Nathan, but at the same time her excitement was mixed with trepidation. She was lost in her thoughts and didn't realize that Nathan was standing next to her, looking at her with interest.

"Penny for your thoughts," he said softly. She quickly straightened up and laughed nervously. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing, well actually I was thinking about tonight," she said truthfully.

"Nervous?" he asked knowingly.

"Yeah, a little bit," she admitted.

"So am I," he said, surprising her.

"You are? Why?" she asked.

He looked into her eyes. "Because it's you. Haley, I like you. A lot," he started to say, careful not to tell her what he was really feeling. "It's just the way you make me feel. I haven't felt like this in a long time, not since Rachel." He watched her bow her head just to avoid his gaze. He gently lifted her chin so she would look at him. "Haley, it's okay to be afraid. And it's okay to feel the pain of the past."

"I know," she said softly. They continued to stare at each other before Nathan slowly bent his head to capture her lips, letting his lips graze hers as if taunting her. He thought he heard a soft sigh coming from her and cupped her face in his hand. His heart was beating furiously as he felt her respond. He felt himself grow bolder and flicked her tongue against her soft lips, trying to pry them apart and when she did, he let out a low groan as his tongue darted into her mouth, seeking hers, tasting her. Their kiss deepened and Haley felt as if she was falling in a bottomless well with no hope of ever resurfacing. Their breath grew ragged as he pulled away and caressed her face.

"I think we should stop," he breathed against her mouth. He had to fight the urge to continue kissing her, knowing that if they didn't stop he would be tempted to take a step further and he didn't want to scare her. She nodded in agreement although she felt a sense of loss the moment they stopped.

"Come on, we should go," he said and took her hand firmly in his and led her to their cars. When they reached hers, she unclasped her hand from his to look for her key in her bag. She found it and returned her attention to him.

"So, um I'll see you tonight then," she said.

"Yeah, tonight," he said. "Is it alright if I do this again?" he asked and kissed her again softly.

"What's the point of asking when you won't even wait for the answer?" she murmured against his lips.

"Coz I already know what you're gonna say," he said mischievously. "I'm gonna miss you."

She was surprised at the admission, and was even more surprised when she realised that it mirrored her own. She smiled without saying anything and opened the door to get in. "Bye Nathan," she said before driving away.

Nathan watched the car pull away until it was nothing more than a dot before walking to his own car. He felt lightheaded at the prospect of their date tonight. This time he would make damn sure that nothing would be in the way.