Chapter 11 These Dreams...

With a smile, Meredith let her fingers glide over the embroidered letters on her new, white doctor's coat; Meredith Grey M.D. She carefully hung the coat over a dress hanger and started undressing. Reaching for a new pair of light blue scrubs, she pulled them on, tying the drawstring securely around her slightly protruding belly. She laced up her favorite sneakers with steady hands, slowly preparing herself with a renewed and reassuring certainty; being one of Seattle Grace's residents again. Finally, she put on the doctor's coat, attaching the identification badge to the front and hanging a stethoscope around her neck. When she was completely ready, she opened the door of the locker room and rode the elevator to the fourth, surgical floor. When she got off, she stopped one of the passing interns in the hallway.

"Excuse me…where can I find the Chief Resident?"

"OR 4."

"What's his name?" Meredith yelled over her shoulder as she began up the hall.

"Her name…," the intern responded with a slight grimace. "…Doctor Yang…Doctor Cristina Yang."

"Of course, Cristina…," Meredith repeated softly to herself. Cristina had been her best friend during their first years of internship and residency but strangely enough after Meredith moval to Boston, they had lost all contact unlike George, Alex and Izzie.

Meredith proceeded to OR 4 and punched the button to open the automatic door that led to the scrub room. She slowed down her pace because she definitely wouldn't look good if she burst into the OR like a crazy person. Tucking her hair under a surgical cap, she flinched slightly as the tight knot caught several strands of her hair in it. Holding a surgical mask in front of her mouth, she took in a deep breath before stepping into the OR room.

Inside, Cristina looked up from the table where a patient was being prepped for surgery. Over the mask, Meredith's eyes brightened. "Hi Cristina, "she said softly. "…The Chief told me to report to the Chief resident…so here I am!"

"Oh…OK! Doctor Grey, would you please step closer to the table?"

Meredith frowned at Cristina's serious voice but stepped closer nevertheless.

"This is an interesting surgery…," Cristina began to her interns. "Right hemothorax…can I leave this one up to you, Doctor Grey?" Meredith gave Cristina a brief glance before her eyes darted back to the patient on the operating table. "Sure," Meredith answered simply. "Just give me some time to scrub in!" A couple of hours later, Meredith stood outside the intensive care unit, watching her patient through the window. He was still on mechanical ventilation but the surgery had gone excellent.

"Why didn't you let me know you were coming back?" came a hesitant voice from behind Meredith. Meredith turned and faced Cristina, shrugging her shoulders. "I dunno Cristina…all I know is that I've found happiness again here in Seattle…with Derek!" For a moment, Meredith studied Cristina's face. "I'm glad for you both," Cristina replied while turning to walk away. "Oh…and Meredith, you did OK in the OR!"

Meredith smiled. "Coming from you…I'll take that as a compliment!" Meredith watched how Cristina walked away, looking straight ahead without a backward glance. Would she and Cristina ever grow as close as before? Meredith shrugged her shoulders and with a slightly sad smile, she wandered down the hallway in the opposite direction.

* * *

After the first eight hours of her shift, Meredith settled herself comfortably on one of the beds in the on call room closing her eyes. Letting the soft music of a radio that was playing in the nearby nurses station gently lull her to sleep, she thought of today's surgery. She'd really rocked that one, she smiled while she slowly drifted off.

……….

The cold wind almost took her breath away. Meredith looked around. A snowy storm raged around her but there was no sign of Laura. Meredith bit her bottom lip but ignored the cold on her body. Where was her daughter? Meredith glanced around frantically but the woods were dark and the coldness almost made her loose consciousness. She slowly started feeling desperate; Where was Laura?

"Meredith…?"

A soft voice called her but Meredith was reluctant to leave. She had to find Laura. Wasn't that her? There between the trees? A crucial urgency drove Meredith forward but before she could reach her daughter, she disappeared again.

"Meredith…wake up."

Meredith felt a light touch on her shoulder but rolled from it. She couldn't leave…she had to find Laura.

"Mere…you're having a nightmare…please wake up!"

Fighting to leaving the depths of sleep behind Meredith suddenly sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She buried her face in her hands and waited for the nightmare to recede. Slowly, she felt how her heartbeat turned to normal. Izzie's hand on her back also soothed the emotions that were now rolling inside her.

"Was it bad?" Izzie asked. Meredith cupped her face in her hands again and took in a deep breath. Her body shook with emotions that were flowing through her. "Oh Iz…I couldn't find Laura anywhere!" Meredith shivered and Izzie shook her head.

"Laura's just fine. She's staying with her grandparents. Everything's fine!"

"I know…I guess, I just miss her," Meredith mumbled emotionally.

Izzie smiled understandingly. "It's those damn hormones…they make you soooo emotional. I swear I've never cried so much in my life as the last seven months!"

Izzie's dramatic expression elicited a relaxing giggle from Meredith and she quickly wiped away her tears. She looked up at Iz and then her gaze travelled lower to Izzie's pregnant belly. Even at seven months pregnant, Izzie was beautiful. Her golden skin glowed with a sunny flush and her extra weight only served to flatter her natural curves. Izzie followed Meredith's gaze and she smiled, sitting down next to Meredith. "I swear my belly will never be flat again!" Meredith felt her lips curving up in a wicked fashion.

"What?" Izzie breathed.

Meredith felt her cheeks blush as blood rushed to her face. She cleared her throat. "Uhm…is…is it normal to have so much sex when you're pregnant. I seem insatiable…I just can't get enough of it…not that Derek minds…I was just wondering," Meredith rambled, slightly embarrassed.

A little giggle escaped Izzie's lips. "I thought I was the only one having so much sex…it has to be all that blood flowing to our sexual organs!" Izzie stood shrugging her shoulders. "Just enjoy it as long as it lasts Meredith…there's nothing wrong with having lots and lots of sex! You coming?" Meredith nodded and stood, straightening her scrubs. She followed Izzie into the hallway. Her first shift was far from being over.

* * *

"And…tired? Derek asked tenderly while he lifted the covers to lie down next to Meredith. She nodded, even though she knew, Derek could hardly see her in the dark. "Yeah…but today was awesome. Cristina gave me this surgery…and I rocked…it!" An enormous yawn interrupted Meredith's words as she felt her eighteen hour shift catch up to her. Even with her stomach rumbling, she felt like she could easily fall asleep, preferably in Derek's arms. Meredith couldn't suppress another yawn and covered her mouth politely with one hand when Derek propped himself up on one elbow, listening.

Meredith's stomach rumbled ominously and he laid his free hand across her swollen belly. "Haven't you eaten?" Derek asked, his voice sounding stern. Meredith sighed silently. "I was too tired to even think about it!" Meredith bit her bottom lip, expecting some kind of sermon but Derek lifted the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"Where are you going?" Meredith asked with a small voice. Derek leaned down, kissing the top of Meredith's nose, smiling as she giggled lightly. "I'm going to fix you something to eat!" he said tenderly, kissing Meredith's forehead when she eagerly nodded.

No more than ten minutes later, Derek returned with a tray piled high with sandwiches and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

……….

"Mmm…this is good," Meredith mumbled as she shoved the last sandwich into her mouth. A small grin grew on Derek's face as he slowly shook his head. "Had enough?"

A "yes" formed in Meredith's mouth but before she could speak, Derek's lips landed on hers for a kiss. When he pulled back he looked in Meredith's eyes. "Promise me…you'll take better care of yourself?" Searching for a promise in her eyes, she curled her bottom lip and worried it with her teeth. Derek's blue gaze dropped to watch Meredith abuse her lip. The muscles in his jaw tightened and he slowly lifted a finger to caress her lips. "Promise me?"

Meredith tightened her arms around Derek's neck. "I promise," she whispered. The soft cotton of her nightgown slipped higher as she slid against Derek and he felt her bare skin against his arms. Derek softly moaned, pushing himself against her. She lay half upon him, the loose strap of her nightgown sliding off her shoulder. She looked up at Derek, her eyes soft and a tender expression on her face. When she licked her lips, the shine was enough to make Derek lean toward her…hungrily. His arms came around her waist and he pulled her to him. This time their kiss was hot and deep and long. After, Derek pushed himself back a little and pulled at his shirt. He threw it to the floor and pushed the strap of Meredith's nightgown until it fell from her shoulder.

She tilted her head back, her eyes nearly falling shut as Derek tenderly caressed her sensitive breast. His long fingers curled around it, rolling her nipple gently between thumb and forefinger. The soft peach colored peak became tight under his touch and Meredith sighed, her fingers threading through Derek's hair as he bent his head to tease her with his tongue. He took the hem of her nightgown in his hands and slid it high above her swollen belly. His hands moved over her waist, the softness of her hips and the rounded smoothness of her buttocks. Meredith's hand slid lower until she was able to take his length in her hand. "Mmm," she moaned, her fingers closing over him. Derek arched involuntarily, pushing into her tightening grip. With a noise of impatience he pulled at Meredith's nightgown until they were both naked. He leaned in, kissing Meredith again, letting his fingers trail over the skin of her thighs and move to the soft cleft between them. He gently stroked her and then drew one finger lower until he found her most sensitive place. Meredith made a long, soft sound. Her hand moved to cover his and press it even closer. He circled his fingertip over the little bud and felt Meredith's hips move in time. Her head fell against his shoulder and he pressed her to him more tightly, feeling her riding the rhythmic caress of his hand until she finally began to gasp, her body shuddering. When she became quiet, Derek tenderly stroked her hair and held her to him. Meredith kissed him as she slowly crawled up to straddle him. As her arms went around his neck, his hot breath touched her ear and Meredith slowly lowered herself, easing his arousal into her.

Derek was almost lightheaded at Meredith's sweet tightness. She sat up straight and he ran his hands down her sides to her hips. For a moment, they stayed still, both savoring the sensation then Meredith started to rock up and down him. Derek could see the excitement on her face as he watched her moving up and down. It aroused him even more, seeing himself disappearing inside her. Meredith was more beautiful than ever with her full, sensitive breasts and swollen belly.

She rode him, first at slow but after a while, he drove his hips upward to meet her pace. Unknown sensations ran through their bodies and Meredith's steady, unrelenting movements entranced Derek. As their pace quickened even more, she began to moan softly.

"God…Meredith…," Derek groaned, his hands cupping her breasts, tracing her ribs, holding her hips. "I love what you're doing to me…," Derek moved his hand between them where their bodies joined and Meredith's breath shortened to gasps. She rose and fell slowly over him, her thighs trembling. They were both moaning now and Derek met her thrusts as her pace quickened. They were both moving frantically together, moaning each other's names with whatever breath they managed to take. Meredith flung her head back as her entire body convulsed, and she felt Derek's warmth within her, as he followed her into oblivion. Moments later, they collapsed together, unable to move, barely able to breathe. For many minutes they lay still, allowing their bodies to come to rest.

After a while, Meredith heard his voice. "You're beautiful when we make love!"

"What?" she breathed.

"You get this incredible look on your face…," Derek said tenderly.

Meredith giggled as she snuggled closer to Derek. "Thank you…I guess," she mumbled. Derek grinned and they kissed…again and again. Lips against lips…tongue against tongue. When they finally drifted off to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms, surrounded by each other's warmth, their hearts beat simultaneously.

* * *

Meredith glanced over her shoulder so she could see Laura in her car seat in the back. A tender smile played upon her lips as she watched the sleeping girl.

"Are you happy?" Derek asked, tenderly placing a gentle kiss on the back of Meredith's hand.

"Very," Meredith murmured, stealing an arm around Derek's neck and kissing him briefly on the cheek. As they drove on silently, a question formed in Derek's mind. He glanced at Meredith briefly. She raised an eyebrow on him and smiled. "There's something on your mind…isn't there?"

"You can tell?" Derek asked quietly.

Meredith nodded. "You get this look on your face!"

Derek sighed almost inaudibly, looked out the window, and then back at Meredith. "Have you ever thought about telling her…," He nodded his head backwards at Laura. Meredith swallowed hard and closed her eyes for a moment. The walls she'd built around herself and Laura slowly began to crumble. "I'm afraid to," she whispered her voice breaking with emotion. Derek was struck by the sudden sadness in her eyes and pulled over to the side of the road. He cupped her cheek with his hand and used his thumb to wipe some of her tears away. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Meredith shook her head and a small smile curved her lips. "It's Ok Derek. I know have to tell Laura eventually." Derek reached out his arms and enveloped Meredith in a hug. She held him tighter and gazed over his shoulder at Laura. She thought about what Derek had said and the emotions she felt when she was close to him. His arms that were currently holding her…the arms that had been holding her every night since she'd returned from Boston…and then Meredith breathed a contented sigh. She wouldn't have to do this alone…Derek would always be there for her, Laura and their unborn child.

* * *

Sitting on the porch of Meredith's house, Laura gazed up at the stars trying desperately not to fall asleep but it wasn't easy. The air was warm and light, the stars looked pretty and her mom's arms felt safe around her.

"Did you have fun at your grandparent's house?" Meredith asked softly as Laura kept staring at the stars.

"Mmmm," Laura mumbled. "…but I like it here more!" Meredith laughed as she cuddled the small girl in her lap. Laura was so sweet, so very innocent…and yet…so wise. Memories of Molly played in Meredith's mind as she briefly considered telling Laura the truth about her parents.

Meredith sighed as she sat up. "It's getting late Laura…I'll take you to bed OK!"

"Ah…one bedtime story? OK mommy…just one story?" Laura begged as she continued staring at the sky. For a moment, Meredith hesitated but then she began to tell her Laura a story; A story about a sweet, young woman who fell in love with a handsome prince.

"Molly's a pretty name…," Laura mumbled sleepily after a while. She yawned as she forced her eyes to stay open but with little effort. "What happened next to Molly?"

Meredith sat up straight, offering Laura a warm smile. "I will continue the story tomorrow…now it's time for bed…little lady!"

"OK mommy," Laura's little fingers intertwined with Meredith's as they all walked into the house.

Laura rested her head on Derek's shoulder, one arm hugging his neck as she held on to her favorite teddy bear. The long drive from the airport had made her content and sleepy. While Meredith changed Laura into her pajamas, she kissed her on the forehead then Derek picked her up and laid her in bed. "Sweet dreams," Meredith whispered softly with another tender look at her daughter. Derek smiled, took Meredith's hand and led her out of the bedroom.

In their own bedroom, Meredith bent over and pulled open a dresser drawer. She reached in and took out a nightshirt before she went into the bathroom to change. Meanwhile Derek stood in the shower. Meredith listened to the water as she prepared to brush her teeth, the sound of the streaming water hitting the tile floor. For a moment, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Had it been the right choice to tell Laura about Molly? Meredith sighed and quickly brushed her teeth. Her reflection in the mirror suddenly blurred by the steam coming from behind the glass shower door but the water cut off and the shower door opened and shut.

"What's with you? You're so quiet" Derek asked softly as he pressed a kiss in Meredith's neck. "Mmm…it's nothing," Meredith mumbled turning her head away from Derek. Derek's eyebrows rose but he said nothing. Meredith crawled into bed. She lay on her back with her arms crossed over her chest, pinning down the covers. Silently, she stared at the ceiling while Derek got in bed beside her. Looking straight into Meredith's eyes, he kissed her softly on the lips and then her forehead.

"Why don't you tell me what's going on?" Derek asked in a gentle voice. He placed his free hand over Meredith's belly and stroked up and down in a comforting motion. Meredith sighed and leaned into his embrace. Derek kissed the top of Meredith's head as it came to rest against his chest. "I…I can't…not now Derek," Meredith whispered while she snuggled into his arms. Derek started gently rubbing Meredith's back until she completely relaxed in his embrace. Soon her even breathing filtered through the room and Derek closed his eyes too, content to lie there with the love of his life safely in his arms.

* * *

Meredithgasped in pain. Contractions were coming fast and furious. Outside Seattle Grace Hospital, thunder crashed and rain hit hard against the windows. Seattle was in the throes of the worst storm ever and the severe weather seemed to mirror the anxiety on Bailey's face as she hovered over Meredith. "Not much longer now, Meredith", she whispered. "Don't give up….we need you to keep pushing".
"No more", Meredith pleaded; her tongue flicking out to moisten her dry lips. "Please. I...I can't do this anymore."
Wiping the sweat from Meredith's forehead, Bailey spoke words of encouragement: "Sure you can! Come on Meredith. You're doing excellent."
A wave of pain swept over Meredith again and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. Tears streamed out of her eyes. "Where's Derek? Why isn't he here"?

"Derek will be here soon. The storm probably held him up. Try not to worry, Meredith, just concentrate on your breathing".

Something was wrong…terribly wrong! Meredith sensed it. She had been in labour all night. The baby should have been born by now. And Derek…where in God's name was he? Meredith had never felt so alone, so frightened. With an effort, she lifted herself on her elbows, but she couldn't see anything. A screen had been situated across her bed, shielding herself from the doctor who worked to deliver the baby. Exhausted, Meredith fell back against the pillows. "Why is that screen there?" She asked Cristina who stood at her bedside. "What's wrong? Why can't I see?"
"Everything's fine, Doctor Grey…just relax," Cristina said calmly.

"But I…," Meredith started to protest when another contraction swept over her and the pain intensified to an almost unbearable level. Cristina left Meredith's side and hurried behind the screen to consult with the gynaecologist and Bailey. Their murmured voices sounded worried and panic exploded inside Meredith. She shrieked in fear.

* * *

The cry jolted her out of her nightmare and Meredith shot up straight in bed, her body covered in cold sweat. She dragged her fingers through her hair, trying to make sense of the lucid dream she had just experienced. Clutching the blanket for comfort, she looked around. Stars were still scattered through the night sky as she stole a glance at Derek who was still sound asleep, undisturbed by her cry.

"D…Derek?" Meredith's voice quivered after that terrible nightmare. She just needed to hear the comforting sound of his voice. There was a sob caught in Meredith's throat as she heard his familiar voice behind her.

"Meredith…? What's wrong?"

Letting out a shuttered sigh, Meredith closed her eyes, the memories of her nightmare still looming fresh in her mind.

"Mere…?"

Meredith realized Derek had sat up right next to her, wrapping his arms around her. Feeling the warmth of his arms around her, she let out a relieved sigh. A tear moistened her closed eyes as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"I…I had a nightmare," she said softly while her body shook. Damn pregnancy hormones. She'd really become a basket case these days.

"Shhh…I'm here," Derek whispered as he pulled Meredith closer. A tear trickled down her cheek as she wrapped her arms around him. "I love you Derek…so much," she said, her voice whispery with emotions.

"I love you too," Derek smiled.

The baby kicked under Derek's hands and his face relaxed into a smile. "He's active tonight too…isn't he?" Derek moved his hand under Meredith's shirt. He pulled it upward until her belly was bared. His fingers smoothed reverently over the soft skin then he bent down to press his lips to the small bump just underneath Meredith's ribs. Struck by his tenderness, Meredith started to cry…heavy sobs that caused her body to shake.

"Hey…what's this? Why the crying?" Derek asked while he pulled Meredith even closer.

"It's nothing…it's stupid." she hiccupped.

"I'm sure it's not."

Derek slowly shook his head. He couldn't figure out what Meredith was thinking. She'd always been good at hiding her feelings. He held her close and stroked her hair, trying to comfort her in anyway possible. Finally she looked up with teary eyes. "I just feel like I'm that stupid intern again…I'm so scared." Derek took Meredith's face in his hands and kissed her with all the love he had inside.

"What are you afraid of…?" It suddenly swept over Derek what she feared.

"It's Laura…isn't it?" he softly asked.

"I don't know how to do THIS." It just burst from Meredith uncontrollably. She twisted her small hands together in her lap. "I'm trying…God knows I'm trying but…, "Meredith shook her head. "I know I have to tell Laura the truth about her parents but I don't know how…? I've tried to tonight but what if…," Meredith started crying again. "…and on top of it all I have to tell her about you and the baby…God, Derek, I'm so scared."

A tender smile curved Derek's lips as he drew Meredith into his arms. "You silly girl…you keep forgetting you're not alone anymore…we're in this together, you know?" They clung together and Derek felt Meredith's wet face against his own. She was still crying a little. After a while, she looked up at Derek with red, teary eyes but a small, hesitant smile curving her lips as she met his gaze. Derek's blue eyes followed the line of Meredith's cheek, the curve of her lips, and the sweep of her brow all in one glance. "Just remember…you'll never be alone again," he murmured, brushing some strands of hair from her face. He buried his face in Meredith's shoulder, smelling deeply of her hair and skin.

"Tomorrow…I will explain everything to Laura…," Meredith began slowly but Derek promptly shushed her with a finger to her lips.

"Shhh…don't think about tomorrow…we have all the time in the world Mere…Laura is only four years old. She's too young to understand what happened to her parents. We can tell her about us…and the baby though," Derek said softly. Meredith sniffed but then kissed Derek, at first sweetly but soon with more passion. When she pulled away from Derek, she hugged her head to his shoulder and whispered, "I need you Derek."

Derek nodded silently. He trailed his lips along Meredith's neck and shoulder, pulling down the strap of her bra before his kisses. He moved his hands down the sides of her ribs and over her breasts, his fingers following the tiny line of lace on the edges of her bra. Meredith watched Derek work slowly and she felt his hot breath on the skin of her breasts before she registered that he'd bared her. Meredith softly moaned and closed her eyes, revelling in the touch of his hands and mouth on her. Derek alternated with licks and kisses as he moved down to Meredith's waist. He pulled a little on Meredith's panties and she lifted her legs to make the job easier. She felt the soft material slip over her feet and then Derek's lips tracing the curve of her leg, from her ankle all the way up to her inner thigh. She moaned again, rubbing her palms over her thighs and Derek let out a soft growl. He lowered himself between Meredith's legs, pressing the evidence of his arousal against her. He leaned down and kissed Meredith, their tongues dancing playfully. Finally she took in a deep breath and pushed Derek away so she could climb onto his lap. She tossed her long hair back and settled her arms on his shoulders, poising her hips just above Derek's. She closed her eyes and moved slowly down on Derek, feeling his arousal press against her entrance. She bit her bottom lip and Derek nuzzled her neck. "God…you're hot," Derek moaned passionately. He stayed still, waiting for Meredith to give him a sign that it was alright but he was rapidly losing the battle. She felt tight and wet and Derek had to concentrate not to lose control in the first moments. Meredith swallowed hard and grabbed Derek's shoulders. She slowly let him in further and further, until there was no space left between them. "Oh…yesss," Meredith hissed while Derek placed his hands on her hips. He sucked in a sharp breath, his muscles tense. Meredith rose up just a little bit, using her grip on his shoulders as leverage, and then she plunged down. Derek found her rhythm and rocked with her…slowly at first but then with more urgency. They both started gasping for air, from both their effort and arousal and soon they were hitting a crescendo, each one bringing the other higher until Derek could barely think straight anymore.

"Ohh…Mere…," Derek moaned hoarsely, her name the only thought he could articulate. He gripped her waist and watched her body writhe on top of him. It caused him to buck his hips and he came on a sudden gasp.

"Oh…God…yesss," Meredith groaned, feeling Derek pulse inside her. She rocked back and forth with enough force to make the bed creak.

Derek watched Meredith, his fogged brain, hypnotized by her sight. She sat on top of him, frozen in a long, orgasmic moment. Finally, she gave a low, tired moan and fell on top of him. She rested her head on Derek's chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath her cheek. She felt him pull out of her and she rolled to her side. When Derek settled down next to her, she snuggled up next to him and rested her head on his chest. Derek propped one hand behind his head and began to stroke Meredith's hair with the other. He kissed her temple and breathed deeply of her.

"Mere…," he whispered tenderly.

"Yes?" Meredith responded, rubbing her cheek against him.

Derek fumbled over the words that seemed to come almost unbidden from his mouth. "I want us to get married!"

Meredith raised her head and gave him a quizzical look and for a moment Derek could have slapped himself for being so forthright. She was far from being ready for marriage but to his surprise, she gave him a slow smile.

"Good," she said quietly. "Because I'd love to be your wife!" She cuddled closer to Derek and sighed against his chest. The two of them drifted off into sleep, lulled by the synchronized beating of their hearts…