Gifts and Curses
Chapter Ten: Sureshot
Get up face this day So I say, I got a sureshot way to work things out Get up, face this year Bye mom and dad, you're all I had
Find some way to make the mean kids pay
Playing it safe, it's your morals at stake
You're a young man who's willing to wage war
Break from the mold, never do what your told
After all what are feelings of rage for
All of this arguing has worn you down
I got a sureshot way to kill your doubts
Find what your following and chase it down
days will fade with all your childhood fears
All of the nights, all of the friends and the fights
You're a young man, who's burning to break free
Here are your rights and your name's up in lights
Don't abuse be the best that you can be
I'm finding out I'm on my own, I am all alone
Break from the mold
"Sureshot" - Yellowcard
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Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Life was finally going the way she planned, that is when everything was torn from her… again. And no, its not a boy thing.
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I started to chuckle. "You don't have to be jealous. It was only a friendly hook-up."
I felt him freeze then. "What?" I asked.
"So you really did hook up with him? What he said at the party wasn't a lie?" He leaned his head up to look at me.
Looking everywhere but his face, I started to get up from the bed. I felt his hand on my wrist, holding me back. "Brooke?"
I closed my eyes and sighed. "Yea, we had sex. That was the first and only time. It wasn't like I was cheating on you." He released my wrist right away. "Nathan?" I turned around, and saw him get out of the bed. Oh great. Now what.
"Nathan, you were with Haley the entire time. What was I suppose to do? Wait for you?" Maybe that wasn't the best thing to have said.
Facing me, he replied bitterly, "Wait for me? Gee, you think Brooke? We just had sex. I seriously had thought that maybe we were going to be together. God, how big of a slut could you really be? Two guys in one day, congratulations." With that he started to walk out. I went after him.
"Who the fuck do you think you are? I went there to maybe see you. I sure saw you alright, with your fucking whore of a girlfriend. You didn't seem very willing to be my boyfriend when she was on your arm the entire night. You didn't even defend me against your brother, either. You have no right to be angry at me, Nathan!"
I stood there waiting for him response. It came after a brief hesitation. "I'm not angry at you, Brooke. I'm just disappointed. And a little jealous. I don't know. All I know is that I have to get out of here." He started walking down the stairs.
All I could think of to say to him was just, "Please don't walk away from me, Nathan. Not again."
He stopped on the second to the top step. "Why shouldn't I, Brooke?"
"Because I'm falling for you again, and I wouldn't be able to handle it if you left me too." I said very quickly. I had no idea what his reaction would be.
I just stared at his jaw clenching. I needed a sign, that what I said to him, meant something.
I waited for about five minutes, and then ,with a sigh, turned around to go back into my room.
I didn't hear his footsteps following me until he turned me around and gave me the most passionate of passionate kisses in the world. We clung to each other, as if one of us would die if we didn't. And maybe one of would have, but now we'll never know. I really am falling for this boy.
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The walk into school right after the hook-up is always awkward, that is, unless you're with someone you love.
Nathan and I were holding hands, and basically looked like Tree Hill's royalty. I saw people stare in shock, people with knowing grins, and people like Lucas and Haley with constipated glares.
Instead of making a scene, the two of us walked right by them and headed towards our lockers.
I felt his hand squeeze mine immediately when we had to part ways. I turned around and leaned against a locker nearby. When I looked up at him, he was looking right on back. Slowly he put his hand up to my cheek and brought me into his kiss. I about melted right then and there. There was just something about his kiss that always made me want to fall to the floor in a puddle. My arm gradually made its way up to his shoulder and clench it tight.
We didn't break from our embrace until the bell rang to start homeroom.
Gasping, we came up for air. I pecked his nose and walked away. I love having a boyfriend. I strolled to class with the biggest sincere smile on my face. And for once I was happy.
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Our lives were continuing on the same track for about 3 ½ weeks. Nathan and I were happy and very much 'in like'. I think he still has problems with the 'L' word, but I don't have any issues with that.
We started a pretty nice routine. We would sleep over each others' houses and then we would go to school together. On the weekends we would hang out with some of his friends and of course Jake. There was this new girl, Peyton Sawyer, I think she was from Pennsylvania or something, that I've been trying to recruit for cheerleading. She's so sweet. I think she has this hole tortured artist look to her, and that's exactly what we need, some flava to the team. Besides, we both need a friend, why not instigate the situation?
Nathan, Jake and I were becoming a very tight knit group. I went to Jake about my problems, Nathan went to Jake about his problems, and Jake went to the both of us about his problems. We were like family to each other. And Jenny was like all three of our baby. She called Nathan, 'Mate', because she was still working on her Ns and Ms. She called me 'Book' and of course Jake 'Daddy'. She was such an adorable kid, you couldn't help but fall in love with her.
We were actually at Jake's house when I got THE phone call. The phone call that makes you tremble when you think about it. The phone call that most everyone forgets about because they were in so much shock. Well not me. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday, because that phone call tore my cookie cutter life to shreds.
I was playing with Jenny and her dolls when I heard my cell phone ring. I didn't think anything about it, so I just nonchalantly answered, without looked at my caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Hello. May I speak with a Miss Brooke Davis, please?" An older gentleman with a slight English accent asked.
"This is she." I answered.
"Miss Davis, I believe I have very unfortunate news for you. Are you perhaps related to a Mr. Ronald and Mrs. Catherine Davis?" Well I suppose that they're in the UK right now.
"Uh, yea, they're my parents…" I answered cautiously. I picked Jenny up and put her in her bouncy chair.
"Well, Miss Davis, I don't know how to tell you this…"
Sighing, I interrupted, "Look, just tell me please. Are they in some kind of trouble financially? I have some money if they need it…"
"No, Miss Davis, I don't believe you understand. They… passed away about 5 hours ago." I quickly sat on the couch.
"They were in a car accident when a car hit them while running a stop light." I just stared at Jenny bouncing while he was explaining what happened. My parents died? My mother and father are dead? How could this have happen? Why did he wait 5 fucking hours to tell me.
My thoughts were interrupted with the man chanting, "Miss Davis, Miss Davis. Hello? Miss Davis"
Blinking away some tears, I choked out, "Yes.. I'm here. Um… what do you need me to do.. Do I need to go over there, or do their b-- do they come over here?" Might as well take the intellectual approach to it. I wasn't about to break down in front of little Jenny. I was strong, I was Brooke Davis, damn it.
"Actually, Miss Davis, they're being shipped out, and the nearest funeral home will contact you with the information." He was like a robot, sprouting all of this crap out. Like he didn't have any feelings.
"Ahh, thank you very much…"
"Mr. Andrews, Clyde Andrews. I was one of you father's… clients, I suppose you can say." Rolling my eyes, the only thing going through that guys head was how was he going to get a new… whatever my dad was. It was pathetic. But then again, this is the kind of person my father deals… I mean dealt with everyday.
"Hmm.. Well, thank you Mr. Andrews for calling me and letting me know. Um, sorry that you had to be put into this situation." With that I ended the phone conversation.
I could feel the lump in my throat getting bigger and bigger. I quickly brushed the few tears that slid down my cheeks away. I had to get out of Jake's house fast. But what should I say?
Right at that moment, of course, Nathan and Jake walk in carrying some groceries. I guess they went shopping. They were talking about some basketball team or something like that when they entered the living room.
I reached down and got my purse and put my cell phone in it. Turning to the boys with a fake smile, I vaguely said, "Hey, I got a call from a friend, and she needs me to help her out with something. I'll see you guys later on okay?" I bent down and kissed Jenny softly on the forehead. As I passed Nathan I kissed him chastely on the cheek.
I could tell that he was a little confused, but I couldn't deal with his emotions either.
I walked briskly to my car, got in, and sped down to my house.
I practically ran inside, and I didn't even get to close the door, when the floodgates burst.
I collapsed. That was the only easy way to put it. I didn't know that a person could feel this badly. I was a broken soul, and I didn't even know if there were any possible way to fix me.
I gasping for each breathe, sobbing out to my parents. Why did they leave me? How dare they! They were supposed to make up for everything that they missed. They were supposed to watch me graduate. How could this happen? I loved them and they left me alone to deal with everything. I'm still a kid, I don't know shit. I don't even know how to bake a cake let alone insurance and bills, and college tuition. Why did this happen?
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I must have fallen asleep on the steps, because when I woke up the clock in the hallway said 6:36 P.M. I slowly got up, and went into the living room. Bad mistake.
The walls were filled of family portraits. There was even a candid picture taken when we went to Cancun. I only remember that trip because my mother got sunburn, and complained about it the entire time.
Without thinking, I ran to the bathroom, opened the door, lifted the lid to the toilet and heaved. I heaved until everything came out, and then I heaved some more. My abs were killing me, my throat was raw, and my eyes felt huge. As I leaned my head down on the cool tiles of the floor, I couldn't help but think how fucked up my life was going to be. Worse than usual. And then I started to think about everything that I had to do when they came home. The arraignments. I let three tears come out. And that was it. I wasn't going to cry anymore. Crying helps nothing. It makes you even more weaker in a persons eye, and I don't need that. I don't need pity, I don't need their sympathy, because I sure as hell am not going to give them any.
With a shake of my head, I hoisted myself off from the ground and walked upstairs and got into bed.
When I closed my eyes, one single tear came out, well I guess one more tear won't hurt.
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I ignored every phone call that I had for about three days. I was too busy with the funeral arraignments, and the finances, and worrying if I would have enough money for everything.
When I heard the familiar ring tone, I ignored that call as well. I wasn't ready for Nathan's sympathy, I've had enough so far. I wasn't ready for the tears and 'I'm so sorry for your loss.'. I wasn't ready for everyone looking at me like I needed a hug. Though in the past few days it was exactly what I needed.
At that very moment, I was flipping through all of the sympathy cards from my parents' clients. Every single one of them were expensive, with the fine lettering and gold accents. I placed the last one on the table, when the front door bell rang.
Sighing I hoisted myself up, and answered it. Boy was I surprised.
"Hey Tigger."
"Why, Haley James, what in the world are you doing here? Guilt finally get to you?" I asked her with a… lets just say a very bitter tone. I was about to close the door in her face until she spoke.
"I definitely deserve that… but Brooke, I want, no, need to be here with you. Nobody knew them like we did. They were like another set of parents to me. Can I just come in and talk with you. I know you hate me and all…" I interrupted her hysterics by opening the door wider.
"Come on in."
She gave me a small smile.
We walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. It was pretty silent until she cleared her throat.
"So… how'd you find out?" To most people they would deem that insensitive. To me, it was like having my best friend back.
"Some guy called me. I guess they were in England when it happened." I was looking down at the table the entire time.
Even more silence passed.
"We weren't together after that time you saw us." She said so softly I could hardly hear her.
Chuckling very sarcastically, I just said, "Well isn't that great. You can fuck him any other time when I didn't know, but the first day I find out you go cold turkey. Ain't that sweet?"
I heard her sigh before her reply. "It was a selfish move, but Lucas kept telling me he loved me. He made me all of these promises, and Nathan was always playing basketball. I felt unloved, and then Lucas gave me attention."
Shaking my head, I just barked, "Wow, Haley, some guy gives you a little bit of attention and you fuck him. Good going. And they say I was queen bitch. Oh wait, no that was you saying all of that, huh?" Rolling my eyes, I went to the refrigerator and got a bottle of water.
"I never really said all of that stuff, Brooke. I was upset at you for something or another, and I was venting. You've said worse about me you know!" She tried to argue, but it wasn't really working all that well.
"Yea, well I didn't sleep with your boyfriend now did I?"
And then I heard her mumble that one stupid phrase.
"Oh, and you didn't have sex with Nathan?"
I spun around and shouted, "Get the fuck out! I thought you came here for my parents, but you only wanted to relieve your own guilt!"
Her face fell, and she slowly got up. "I loved your parents, Brooke. They raised me as their own, and I'm going to their funeral tomorrow. I came by here, wondering if you wanted to do something nice for them, with me. But I guess not."
She was already out into the hall when I asked her what it was she wanted to do.
She turned around and said, "I thought we could do a memorial song, together. Your mother always loved our duets, so I thought that it suited."
I let it all sink into my head, and then nodded inch by inch. "It's what she would have wanted."
"'The Rose'"
With a definite nod, "'The Rose'"
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"Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed "
Everyone was silently watching as Haley and I harmonized to my mother's favorite Bette Midler song. She was her favorite actress. I remember when I was younger, before everything got out of hand, she, Haley and I were in her room playing with makeup and listening to this very song over and over again. She told us that if you listened carefully, you could feel it touch your soul. I still didn't know what she meant, that was until I was singing that very song in front of hundreds of grieving people.
"It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live"
I looked over to Haley, who had multiple tears streaming down her cheeks. I reached over and linked my hand with hers. Despite everything, she's like a sister to me, and she's hurting right now.
I still had yet to cry in public. Sure I had a tear or so come out, but I wasn't breaking down and sobbing. Not like before. I broke out of my thoughts when I felt Haley squeeze my fingers, I squeezed right back.
What a pair we made. Two dark brunettes with black clothing with their hands linked, and tears running down their cheeks, well in my situation one, singing a beautiful song. It was a very touching moment.
"When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed
that with the sun's love
in the spring
becomes the rose"
The pianist softly ended the song, and all you could hear were sniffles and whispers, and an occasional gasp for breath.
Haley and I quickly took our sits, up front, and listened to the Reverend. We were asked to say a few more prayers, and then right after the service ended, we were driven to the cemetery.
I made sure that they got a beautiful spot. It was right on top of a hill with cherry blossoms blooming.
The rest was a blur. I didn't really remember much except that Nathan kept looking over, and Haley kept rubbing my shoulder and making soothing noises. The only thing I do remember, however, was when Lucas came over.
I heard leaves crackle and looked over my shoulder. He was wear a very nice dark blue almost black sweater with black pants. When we made eye contact, he gave me a soft reassuring smile.
Once I felt his hand on my shoulder, I collapsed. I don't know why Lucas and not Nathan, but it felt like something inside of myself exploded.
I remember Lucas holding my body up, and slowly lowered me to the ground. He kept rocking me, and combing his fingers through my hair.
"Shhh, it's okay, let it all out."
"They're gone Luke." I gasped out. "They're really gone."
"It'll get better, I promise."
"Why did this happen? How could they do this? I hate them. I hate them. I HATE THEM!" I kept weeping louder and louder. Lucas kept rocking me and rocking, with everyone watching.
Haley leaned down and joined the semi-hug. She kept whispering softly into my ear and leaned her head against mine. Then I felt Nathan join us, and he kept placing soft kisses on my forehead.
We were such a sight. The four of us sitting on the ground, holding each other. We were all holding each other up, never letting the others fall. For once I felt truly and completely loved.
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It was about 8 o'clock until we all went to my house. I decided not to have an outing for everyone to go to. It was too hard for me to even be with three other people.
We were all sitting around my kitchen table, when Nathan broke the silence.
"Your mom would have the service, B." He said to me, looking me in the eyes.
I just gave him a soft smile, and nodded.
Lucas cleared his throat while nodding and said, "Yea, you two did a great job. I didn't know you could sing, Brooke."
I gave him a chuckle for his expense, and said, "There's a lot you don't know."
Haley started laughing with me. "She's been singing right along with me, since we were like six right, Tigger?"
I just winced at her nickname for me. Like we were back to how it was before, happy and content. Do I want that? Of course I do. Would it come easily? Definitely not. Will everyone make an effort? Who knows.
"Six or seven, I think, Tutor-girl." Well no one can say that Brooke Davis didn't make an effort.
She gave me a smile, and mouthed, 'Thank you.'. I gave another nod.
"Well, I'm beat, I'm going to go to bed. You guys are welcome to stay… if you want." I left it hanging in the air, I didn't know what they wanted to do.
Nathan immediately got up, and started walking behind me.
I turned around, and saw Haley and Lucas looking at each other in confusion.
"You can use the guest rooms. Hales, you know where they are." With that I walked up to my room, and started getting changed.
I was sliding on my PJ bottoms when I felt Nathan's hands on my hips. He leaned his chin on my shoulders, and slid his arms around to link in front of me.
We stood there, with him holding me, for ages. It felt so good to be wanted, for him to love me in his own way. I moved my head slightly, and kissed his forehead.
"Thanks, baby." I whispered softly.
He didn't really say anything for awhile. He had a small smirk on his face, but that was about it.
We disentangled ourselves, and went to get into bed. He took off his pants and unbuttoned his shirt. He jumped onto the bed, and wrapped his arm around my waist.
I was almost to sleep when Nathan leaned his head over mine, and whispered, "I love you.", kissed my ear, and settled back in.
I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I just glowed and kept my excitement to myself.
I love that boy so freaking much.
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A.N.: I am sooooooooooooooooo sorry that I haven't updated until sooner. I was severely sick. Blahhhh. I hope you guys like it. I added some Brathan, Baley, and a teensy tiny Brucas… but all in good fun.
I hope you all had a great Easter… that is if you celebrate it, and for those who don't… well I hope you had a good Sunday.
Lots and Lots of Love,
Meghan