He was rolling around in bed, to the left, to the right, too deep asleep to recognize the slight pain in his shoulder that was still there. His body was sweaty, his hair hung down in his face, and he was panting heavily.

He mumbled her name in his sleep over and over again. "Milah." Soft whispers of despair in the middle of the night while the nightmare started to eat his mind. He couldn't escape the nightmare, couldn't wake up. It was painful.

"Killian, I love you."

"I know."

"Milah, where are you?"

"Milah!"

"NO!"

With a thud, he landed on the floor right next to the bed, finally awake but in pain. He looked over at the bed, saw that Emma was still asleep, and sank back down on the floor, breathing heavily. He ran his hand through his sweaty hair and noticed that he was shaking. His body was doing the thing again, something he couldn't control.

Killian closed his eyes and took deep breaths, trying to control his mind, but it didn't work. He couldn't, his whole body was on fire, and not in the good way. He felt sick, his stomach was clenching, and his chest hurt.

In only a few seconds, he jumped to his feet and was at the other end of the room, leaning one hand against a wall while he threw up in one of the water buckets. His other hand held his stomach, and he had his eyes closed, pictures of his former love flashing before his eyes.

"No. No, god damn, no!" he growled and held his breath, trying to hold back the irritation of throwing up again. One deep breath. Two. Three. He leaned back against the cold wall, still shaking. He looked at his hands, saw them trembling, saw blood on them where no blood was. He closed his eyes and sank down against the wall, covering his face with his hands.

"Killian?" He heard her soft voice in the dark, still sleepy when she sat up and looked through the dark room. He sighed and lifted himself back on his feet, taking a few more deep breaths. "What are you doing there?" Gods, why did this girl have to ask him such questions all the time? He gritted his teeth and walked back over to the bed.

"Nothing. Sleep." For a long moment she looked at him before she sank back into the pillow with a sigh. He lied down on the bed again, taking deep breaths before he pulled the blanket back up over her, not needing one of his own. He still felt like he was going to burn alive. His shoulder hurt, his head hurt, his damn chest was killing him.

He closed his eyes while he lied on his back, trying to sleep this way because he didn't want to turn around to face her. Not now. He hoped she wouldn't remember or would think it was a dream. She didn't need to see him miserable because of something that happened a long time ago. It was the past, it didn't matter anymore. Milah was dead just like his hope. When she had died, his hope had died with her.

He hadn't been in the room when she had opened her eyes for the morning, so she had gotten ready and went out in the hallway, looking for him to make sure he was fine, even if she wasn't quite sure if it was real what she had seen that night. Maybe a dream, maybe not, but he probably wouldn't tell her anyway.

The thing she noticed was that the servants were running around the hallways with fast steps, carrying things from one place to another, everyone was in a hurry, and she didn't understand. What was going on? Flowers, decorations, dresses. She frowned slightly and shook her head while walking through the castle. Too soon for the marriage.

Emma found him standing on a small balcony from where you could see the garden. A soft smile settled on her lips before she opened the glass doors and stepped beside him. No one said anything for a while, both were just leaning over the balcony, looking down into the only calm place at the castle right now. It looked like he loved the garden as much as she did.

"What's going on here? Why is everyone in such a hurry?" she asked him eventually and looked at him. She got lost in his features — his strong cheekbones, his jaw, his stubble, and the messy hair. She got the urge to touch him, to run her hand over his face. Was it only because she felt sorry for him because of what his father had done? She didn't even know.

A huff from him pulled her out of her thoughts, and she frowned. "He arranged a ball. Lords and Ladies will arrive today, and the ball will be tonight. No one was prepared for that, so everyone is running around like dogs, doing what he says." She heard something bitter in his voice, and she swallowed. He obviously didn't realize that he was doing the same with her from time to time, treating her like a dog.

Normally, she would tell him that now, but she really didn't feel like doing that. It was peaceful, and ruining it would do nothing good. "I don't have a dress for such occassions." She chewed on her bottom lip and looked down in the garden for a moment, saw him shrugging out of the corner of her eye.

"That's why I told the servants to bring you some dresses to my room. You can see which one you like." Her eyes widened slightly, and the smile was back on her lips. She didn't know why he was being so nice to her right now. It could be a trap, or maybe he was just tired of fighting with her. Maybe sleeping in the same bed helped, maybe it was because they had been intimate with each other. She didn't know what had happened, but she didn't mind. If he was nice to her, she would be nice to him.

She took a deep breath before turning around, walking back to the door. "I'll go and look at the dresses." With these words, she vanished from the balcony, leaving him but not without looking back. What if he was actually a lion in a cage, waiting for his time to break out? He had been so angry last night, and what she had seen in his eyes had scared her, but right now he was showing none of it, and she could only hope that it would stay like this. No one needed a lion on the run.

On her way back, she used a longer way to look at the throne room that was beautifully decorated. Flowers in every corner, tables for the food, candles and everything. It almost seemed ready, but the hurry of the servants told her that there would be more and more until the King was pleased. Speaking of him, she couldn't see him, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to.

She smiled and turned around to get back to her room, but instead she bumped into someone and almost lost the ground under her feet, but a quick hand on her back was holding her. For a moment, she looked confused at the arm behind her, then up to the face of the person who had caught her, and a big smile appeared on her lips.

"Graham? What are you doing here?" she asked as he helped her to stand up straight. She pulled him into a hug and heard him laugh. She loved his laugh. She had missed him.

When they parted, he looked at her with his usual smirk. "Well, I heard there would be a ball here, and the King invited all the Lords and Ladies he could find. So I thought I'd take a look at how my favourite princess is doing." He winked at her, and she blushed slightly. She had grown up with this man, his father and her father were good friends, so they had spent a lot of time together as kids. There was even a time they wanted to get married as kids. Back then, it was a game, but now marriage was so real.

Graham had always seemed like he felt something for her, more than friendship, especially when they had become older and got into the age where you first fell in love. But she, on the other side, had never been sure about her own feelings. It was all so confusing given her history. She didn't trust easily, but she trusted him. The last time she had seen him was probably half a year ago at the last ball in her castle.

That's why she was even more surprised to find him here, now that she was almost married. But he was looking out for her, and it made her smile. He had always been good at making her smile and laugh, and she could really need that here.

"How long will you stay?" she asked him and hoped to have him around for a while. She got a quick shrug as an answer. "I'm not sure. Maybe until tomorrow. Maybe you can convince me to stay longer." He winked at her, and she slapped his chest playfully. "Please, I'm your princess, you have to do what I say!" She giggled slightly and grinned at him when he bowed before her. "But of course, your highness."

Emma tousled his hair before he straightened himself, looking around for a moment. "Where is your husband?" She could hear something teasing in his voice, and she just rolled her eyes, looking around for a moment herself. "He's not my husband yet, and I would prefer it to stay like that." A sigh left her mouth, and her friend could see that she wasn't happy with the thought of marrying Prince Killian, so he shot her a sad smile. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head and smiled at Graham. "It's okay. I can handle him." Well, she actually wasn't sure if she could handle him. She reached forward and linked her arm with the one of her friend and lead him out of the throne room. "How about you help me pick out a dress? Ruby is probably busy with Victor again." She chuckled briefly and got a raised eyebrow from Graham. "I'll tell you on the way." He nodded and smirked back at her.

It had taken some time for Emma to pick a dress because damn, there were so many pretty dresses. If Killian had chosen them for her, he had good taste. She had picked a red ball gown, and it fit her perfectly. Graham liked it too ,and she had already promised him a dance.

They were sitting at the table and sharing old stories with a glass of wine, laughing with each other and for the moment she felt really good and free. She hadn't much to laugh about here usually. She couldn't do that with Killian, Tink was still gone, and Ruby neglected her, being busy with her new love or whatever it was she had with Victor. That was okay, she was happy for her friend, but now and then, she felt a bit lonely.

Graham just told her a joke again and she was giggling when the door opened. Killian stood there, looking at the two with a raised eyebrow. "What is he doing here?" His voice was already an angry growl, and Emma got up from her chair just like the other man. She went over to Killian and smiled softly.

"That's Graham. He's an old friend and-"

"I know who he is. I wanna know what he's doing in here."

She saw his body tense up, and he was obviously not pleased with the fact that another man was in the room. Was he jealous? Of Graham? That was stupid, really stupid. Yes, the Lord was handsome, but she wouldn't do anything with him.

"We were just talking, it's okay." Emma tried to reach for Killian, try to calm him down with some contact like she always did, but she pulled away. He was literally glaring at the other man who hadn't said anything yet, probably intimidated by the prince.

"I guess I should go. Emma, remember your promise." He winked at her and got a smile back before he walked out of the room, his shoulder meeting Killian's for a second. Both looked after him, and she saw how he moved a hand over his chest for a moment before he turned around to her.

"Stay away from him," he said, still tensed up while he gritted his teeth, glaring at the closed door. Emma huffed and shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. "No. He's my friend. Why should I stay away from him?" He growled and looked at her, taking a step closer while she took a step back, feeling the desk behind her.

"Stop asking questions, and do what I say," he hissed and narrowed his eyes, glaring at her for a long moment. She put both hands on his chest to push him away. "Stop treating me like a dog or like your pet! I can do what I want. I'm not a kid nor an animal, Killian!" Wow, this had probably been the first time she had spoken her mind so directly to him. She got a huff as an answer, and it pissed her off even more.

"So what, you're jealous now? Of an old friend? That's pathetic, really." She knew she was pushing him. She knew she was provoking him, but gods, she couldn't keep her mouth shut, not right now. There was nothing dangerous about Graham, he was an old friend, almost like an older brother, the brother she never had.

He raised an eyebrow at her, and an arrogant smirk settled on his lips. "Please. I'm not jealous. I'm looking out for you, but you can't see the enemy when he's right in front of you." She laughed, frustrated, and shook her head, going back to the dresses. "He isn't dangerous," she mumbled and took the red dress she had picked to show him, trying to change the topic.

"Do you like it?" she asked him while she held it in front of her body, but he didn't even look at her, searching for someone in his wardrobe. "Killian!" He groaned and turned around, looking at her for a moment before he nodded. "It's nice." With these words, he was done with her again, turning back to pick his own outfit for the ball.

She put the dress back and walked up behind him, looking over his shoulder into the wardrobe. "I like that one," she said and pointed with her finger at it. Blue vest, white shirt. Should look good on him. He frowned slightly and turned his head. She could feel his breath on her skin. "You think?" She smiled up at him and nodded before she took a few steps back, waiting for him to put it on so she could see if she liked it on him. Well, he could actually wear whatever he wanted and would look good in it.

He sighed and took the outfit she had chosen and also a pair of black leather pants. She had never understood why he always wore them, but she also didn't want to ask him things about his pants. Emma was about to turn around when he grabbed the hem of his shirt and went to pull it over his head. She blinked at him and got the urge to get out again. The last time she saw him with his bare back they ended up in bed.

"W-Wait you're gonna change now?" She hated that her voice sounded more panicked than it should. He couldn't do that now, it was torture. He huffed and looked at her over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at her. "It's not like you haven't seen me naked before." A light blush crept up her cheeks, and she looked away before he was able to see it. He was right about that but still, this was a completely different situation.

"Care to lend me a hand? My shoulder is still…damaged." He turned around to her and let go of the hem of his shirt, holding his arms out like he wanted to tell her to help him. Was he serious? Now she had to help him out of his clothes? "You have servants for that." She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head until she saw the look on his face. That bastard dared to pout at her!

She gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes before she moved forward and helped him out of his shirt, avoiding looking at him so she didn't see the smug grin that had settled on his lips. And for a second she ran her hands longer than necessary over his naked skin, through his dark chest hair while he let his arms fall down again.

"There you go," she growled at him and knew too well that she was blushing. "What about my pants?" She could literally hear the smugness in his voice, and she wished she could just slap him. Or push him against something to kiss him. Wait, what? No. Wrong thoughts. Especially now they were very, very wrong. "I'm sure you can handle your pants alone. You're a big boy, aren't you?"

He raised an eyebrow at her and seemed to be amused, rocking his hips slightly forward so her eyes fell down and oh great. Ohhh great! His little -okay huge - friend was calling for freedom. Literally. "Killian, what is…that." She pointed at his bulge like she had never seen it before, and he started to laugh. This time, it was different. It was almost genuine. She couldn't help but smile for a second before his voice pulled her back into reality.

"That is your fault, actually. Now, are you going to help me out of the pants or not?" He was way too amused with this situation. He was so bold, and she hated him for it. Why wasn't he a cute and shy man who would blush instead of rubbing his erection in her face? Not literally, of course. At least not yet. Oh god, what was wrong with her. Or him.

"Why are you even wearing leather pants all the time? It's like you're yelling 'Oh look, here is my cock, look at how huge it is!'" she asked him with a sarcastic tone when she started to fumble with the laces of his pants. Why she helped him, even though she knew he could do it alone? She had no idea. Probably because she was weak, and he was a handsome bastard.

"Oh, so you think my cock is huge?" He raised an eyebrow, and the cocky grin was back on his lips while he leaned back against the closed side of his wardrobe, rocking his hips up slightly against her hand. She could feel him and no, this was bad. He started again, and she knew once he started she wouldn't be able to get out of it anymore.

"No! I mean…not like that." She was stumbling over her own words now, and she just wanted to die. That was embarrassing. "Care to elaborate?" he asked her with a chuckle, and she glared up at him for a second before her eyes went back down to his laces. "I'm not going to stroke your ego," she grumbled the words out and shoved his pants down. Thank god he knew what undergarments were. She could have bet some gold that he didn't wear any, but good for her that he did.

"You can stroke something else if you want." Why was she even surprised he said that line? And yes, her eyes might be focused on that huge thing that was hidden in the undergarments, and no she wouldn't. He moved to get out of the pants, standing almost naked in front of her and damn, it did things it shouldn't do to her.

"In your dreams," she huffed at him and shook her head, grabbing for the other pair of pants. She moved into a squatting position so he could step into the pants, and no, she wouldn't look up. No. Damn her. It was right in front of her. Emma swallowed and licked her lip before she heard him chuckle.

"Go ahead, Princess." He rolled the last word over his tongue, and it sounded declicious. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she pulled his pants up fast, and she knew it would hurt his friend between his legs at least a little bit. He only let out an amused huff instead of screaming in pain, but it was better than nothing.

She smiled innocently at him and wanted to reach for the other clothes when he caught her wrist. "You should be careful. You shouldn't hurt something that will make you happy one day." He winked before he reached into the wardrobe for her, handing her the outfit before he lifted his arms again. Yeah, happy. She wouldn't be happy with him, not now, not after the marriage, not ever. He wasn't someone she could fall in love with. He was handsome and talented and sometimes even funny but no. He wasn't her type, he had secrets, a dark side he couldn't control. Would probably end up like his father.

After she closed the last button of his vest, she took a step back, inspecting her work before she nodded, pleased. Yes, he looked good and maybe she would even dance with him. "Thank you, Princess." She smiled up at him, but it was a smile of mischief, and he saw that, raising an eyebrow at her, a silent question on his face. Time for payback.

"You know, I could use help with my dress." She whistled at him while she walked over to the red ballgown, holding it out to him. "It has some laces on the back I can't knot myself." He went toward her and took her dress while she was shrugging out of her own dress for the every day life. She stood with her bare back toward him, and she could feel his gaze on her. She smiled slightly and didn't even want to know what was going on in his head right now.

He handed her the few things she needed before she finally put the dress on. It was actually impressive that he hadn't touched her like she thought - maybe even hoped - he would. He also was so quiet that she was almost worried something was wrong with him. "The laces, Killian." She looked over her shoulder at him while she moved her hair over her other shoulder. He was staring at her instead of making a move. Was something wrong?

She frowned before she cleared her throat again. "Killian!" Only now his gaze snapped to her eyes like he had been in his thoughts for a long time. "The laces," she said with a soft voice and he swallowed, gave her a little nod and took a step closer, closing her dress. Every time his finger tips brushed against her skin, she shivered slightly. She kind of missed his touch all over her. Wait no, this was so wrong. She shook her head slightly before he took a step back, and she turned around to him.

Emma gave him a small smile while she twirled around one time. "And? Do you still think it's nice?" Again, he didn't answer her and got that staring look. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" she said a little louder, and he cleared his throat, nodding slightly. "Looks…good for a ball." The way his hand moved in front of his face and he turned around immediately made her think for a second that there was a small blush on his cheeks, but that was impossible…right?

"I'll go now. See you at the ball. Don't forget, the first dance will be ours." He sounded serious again, and it was almost sad because that man would look really cute with a blush on his cheeks. But that wasn't him, right? Prince Killian didn't blush. He wasn't that kind of a man. Before she could say something to him, he was already out of the door, and she let out a sigh. What was wrong with him?