SONG: Daughters
BY: John Mayer
Thankies muchly to my wonderful beta xxXAngelDreamerXxx
~Kurt~
I stood in a state of paralyzed horror, staring into the bathroom mirror. I gently trailed a finger across my stomach, feeling as it curved up and down over the newly stretched skin. I knew this was going to happen when I made the choice not to get the abortion, but it was still a shock to actually see it in reality against what my mind had thought I'd look like. I'd never looked this way for even a day of my life, yet now it was only going to get worse, and no matter how much time I spent on the treadmill it wasn't going to go away.
This wasn't fat; it couldn't be burned off by exercising. It was a baby. I had to continue to remind myself of that fact as I stared in the mirror at my newly formed baby bump. It was small, still easily hidden by layered shirts, but if I had gotten this big, this quick, without noticing it, I would become huge in no time. My hand still ghosted over the bare skin of my stomach. Each moment I spent looking at it, it only seemed to get bigger. At least, in my eyes it grew about twenty sizes.
I wondered briefly why Finn hadn't told me I was starting to show. Unless he didn't know either. As I said before, it was easily hidden by a few layered shirts. Still it was disheartening to really see it now. At this rate I wasn't going to be able to keep this a secret much longer from our parents. Half the people in town know, and it's a small town. I'm actually surprised the news hadn't already gotten to them. I was grateful it hadn't, but it was still amazing how much people liked to wait for drama to unfold.
I huffed once and threw a few shirts on for the day, a hat to match, and headed out of the bathroom. I was instantly side-swept by Finn, who'd been moving around hurriedly in that 'I really have to go' fashion. I shook my head and smiled as the door slammed behind me. He could have just said something before trying to make his bladder explode.
I quickly made my way to the kitchen where my dad was getting himself some coffee, and grumbling about the nights being too short. Carol would come through the kitchen every once in a while, holding different baskets of laundry, showing that she'd be doing household chores this morning before work.
I grabbed a cereal bar and sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for Finn to come down and raid the fridge before we could go to school. As I predicted, he gave me a 'good morning,' then ducked his head inside the fridge to look for something to eat. I rolled my eyes when he came up with a half eaten sandwich and half used can of frosting. The father of my child, ladies and gentlemen, I thought bitterly to myself.
"So," I started when Finn had sat down and Carol had left the room. "I've been thinking about some things-"
"Uh oh." He cut me off with a smirk.
"Ha ha." I bit out sarcastically. "I'm being serious." He waved his hand round in the air to signal that I continue. "Well, I think it's time we get a, you know, ultrasound." He looked up, eyes wide. "To make sure that the baby is healthy and stuff."
"Kurt," He looked around and leaned forward, whispering. "Do you know how expensive those things are? There's no way we can afford that and the rest of the hospital bills we're going to have."
"But Finn, don't you even care about the baby's health? In case you haven't heard, I'm a guy and guys aren't supposed to be able to have babies! Something could be seriously wrong with it, or it could be deformed, or already dead and we just don't know it, or-"
"Okay, okay!" He cut me off, dipping his sandwich in the frosting, taking a bite and making a face before continuing. "If you call the doctor, then we can go this weekend or something." I sat back, satisfied and not wanting to cause any more stress on Finn. I watched as he finished his disgusting breakfast, knowing that he was thinking about the finances of our near future.
~Finn~
I wasn't even sure how this had happened. Kurt and I sat in the front seat early this morning, waiting as the Glee Club members showed up one by one, well spare Sam that is. When word had gotten around that Kurt had scheduled his first ultrasound the rest of the Glee members instantly jumped on both of us like leeches, refusing to let go until we agreed to let them come for support.
I was more acceptable about this than Kurt, though, who was sitting with a pout in the front seat as every the Glee members would pile into his car. He had woken up in a bad mood, then when I refused to let him drive his car he threw a bit of a fit and now the rest of the glee club was going to be breathing down his neck. I knew he was actually hanging on a thread, so close to snapping at us and kicking us all out of the car.
"Hey," Quinn leaned forward and put one hand on my shoulder and a hand over Kurt's. "Everything's going to be okay."
My eyes widened when Kurt visibly relaxed. He sunk in his seat and uncrossed his arms. I even thought I saw a hint of a smile appear. Maybe it was because Quinn went through this before and he could relate to her, or maybe she was just magic. He seemed to respond to her the way I'd been trying to get him to respond to me for weeks now.
Of course that didn't last long, as Rachel spoke up from the farthest seat in the back next to Puck. Then both Kurt and Quinn tensed up and had sour looking faces. I wasn't far behind them when Rachel started to nag me about driving too fast and hurting the unborn child.
When we got to the doctor's, the lady at the front desk was the same one from before. She looked between each of our members and her eyes finally landed on Kurt, that same distasteful look on her face. I was glad when Quinn stepped up and took Kurt's arm in hers; it seemed to give him more strength to stand up proudly and sign in. The waiting room was empty, so we really were only judged by the receptionist.
"Ah, Kurt." The doctor said when he came out from the back. He looked at each one of us. "The room is only big enough for five, and unless they're a parent they are made to wait outside as well."I stepped up and put a hand on Kurt's shoulder, and Quinn stepped back.
"It's just us then." I said for him. The doctor gestured for us to head back with him. I gave the rest of the glee club a nod as they took seats in the waiting room. I could see Kurt start to shake as we walked down the long hall of different rooms. Gently, so not to get screamed at, I slid my hand into his. He looked up sharply at me, and for a second I thought I was going to be rejected and made to wait outside again like last time.Instead, he seemed shocked for a moment, before he laced his fingers further with mine and gave my hand a small squeeze.
"Okay, Mr. Hummel, go ahead and lie down. We can go ahead and just get the job done and over with if you're ready." I tried to let go of his hand, but he held on tighter. I pulled up a chair to sit next to the bed so I could continue to hold his hand.
I just looked at Kurt's face as he slid his many different layers of shirts up, not wanting to seem like I was trying to see anything. I couldn't help looking down at his stomach, though, when the doctor got out that blue gel stuff. My eyes widened when I saw what Kurt's layers of clothing hid. It wasn't big and was easy to miss when you were just barely glancing at him walking down the halls, but it was there. The proof that he really was having a child. My child.
"Okay, before we do the ultrasound, Mr. Hummel, you said you had a few questions."
"Yes." Kurt's voice shook and broke a bit but he got through his sentence. "First, if you even have an idea, how did this happen?"
"Well," The doctor sat down on one f those rolling stools that doctors used and yelled at the public for using. "My guess is as good as any. Though from what it looks like, you may have had the innards of a female even if you have the body of a male. Though, at this point with the baby still intact, it's hard to tell."
"How is he going to, you know, have the baby?" I piped up, curious.
"Well, we're going to have to do a Caesarean-section on him, which, if he doesn't have an actual womb can be very dangerous. If he doesn't contain a womb, then there is an extremely high possibility the baby won't live because of the lack of a hospitable environment. Or, if the fetus does survive through this, there's a very good possibility of severe internal injuries to Mr. Hummel here, and quite possibly, death." I actually yelp out in pain from the tight vice-grip around my hand. Kurt's face had gone pale in fear.
"Finn!" he exclaimed pushing himself up into a sitting position. "I-I don't wanna die! I can't- it's gonna hurt me, Finn!" His heavy breathing got to the point where he couldn't even speak.
"Shh, it's going to be okay." I stood and pulled him into a hug, whispering comforting words to him until he was able to relax again.
"Okay, do you either of you have any more questions?" I could think of a thousand but Kurt spoke first.
"I just want to know if the baby is healthy or not." I nodded, not wanting to start something with him, and I really wanted to get this over with.
"Okay, shall we start then?"
~Kurt~
I gasped a bit as the blue gel hit my skin. It was ice cold against my warm stomach. The doctor turned on his machines and got everything else ready. I could still hear Finn lightly whispering that 'everything was going to be just fine; everything was going to be okay.' I couldn't concentrate on anything else but the screen in front of me that showed an empty womb right now. When he moved the little thing over my stomach that can detect the baby, spreading the still slightly chilled gel around my skin.
When the screen began to move around to focus in on one specific thing I almost cried. It was weird to look at it, in fact it looked nothing like a baby at all. More like a blob than anything else, but I could tell. It was our baby, the life that Finn and I had made together that one stupid night two months ago on a kitchen table. Finn squeezed my hand gently and looked at the screen too. I wondered if he was seeing what I was seeing, this magical creation, or if he was just seeing the blob that resembled an ink blot.
"Uh " The doctors worried tone made Finn and I snap back to reality.
"What?" We both snapped at the same time, Finn shooting up to tower over the doctor, looking incredibly freaked out. I held my breath as I stared at him, waiting for the answer.
"I don't quite know how to say this " He started vaguely.
"Oh god, it's not going to live, is it?" I gasped, pulling my hand to my mouth at Finn's exclamation.
"No, it's alive" We both relaxed a bit but the next thing he said made us both instantly want to feint. "Or more I should say they are alive. You're going to being having twins." My eyes almost bugged out, and it looked like Finn's heart had stopped beating before kick starting itself again.
"Congratulations?" He offered, trying to be helpful.
"I-I, b-but we didn't and I and " Finn sputtered and fell down into his seat again. I was still too shocked to even voice anything.
"I suppose this isn't the best time to say this but it's also in my oath. Having twins makes your rates go higher than normal, meaning that there is a higher risk of death at birth, at least in your case as a male." Okay, now my heart stopped. "I'll, uh, leave you two to your thoughts and go print out your ultrasound picture for you."
~Quinn~
It felt like half an hour had passed before Finn and Kurt finally made their way out from the back. The entire glee club jumped to their feet. All of us tried to speak at once, but after processing the identical looks of terror on their faces, we all backed down a bit.
Mercedes was the first to ask them what was wrong. We all cleared out of the way as Finn led Kurt over to sit in a seat before sitting down as well and seeming to want to curl up into a little ball, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hand. His fingers laced through his dark hair and pulled at the strands form their roots.
"Its .twins." Finn's voice spoke, broken, echoing throughout the room. There was a collective gasp through the room. Everyone was silent, most people falling into their seats again in shock, some of them gathering around Kurt to ask their mute questions with silent looks of confusion and horror.
"H-How can this be?" Rachel broke the silence, taking a seat in a chair next to Finn and trying to grab his hand. Finn just shook her off and instead put a hand around Kurt's shoulder. "Surely there must be some mistake."
"There's never a mistake when it comes to something scary like this." I spoke bitterly to the self-proclaimed star kid of glee club. She gave me a harsh glare in return, but made no move to correct me.
"I just really want to go home now." Kurt spoke in a quiet voice, barely audible.
"Okay. Yeah, let's- let's go home now." Finn said a bit shakily before standing and helping Kurt up.
We all walked in silence back to Kurt's car and piling into our seats again. I let Mercedes sit where I had last time, it was her turn to comfort her boy. Instead, I got to place my hands over Finn's shoulders from the seat behind him, making sure he was able to drive.
At one point I thought I was going to have to make him stop and let me drive but we'd made it back to the school parking lot. Everyone wished Kurt a sort of good luck and made their way back to their own cars.
"I hope it's not a Siamese cat, Kurt." Brittany gave in a hushed voice before she was pushed out of the car by Santana. "If they can have a baby, does that mean we can too?" Brittany asked her as they walked away. I rolled my eyes and saw that Mercedes was still standing and talking to Kurt and Finn so I stayed a bit to offer anything I could.
"I swear, if you two need anything, just let me know." She said hastily, obviously still shell shocked from the news of a double arrival.
"That goes for me too. You both know I'm always here for you if you need me." Finn gave a small thanks and Kurt barely nodded, looking disoriented from the real world.
"Alright, white boy, you take care of him now, okay?" Finn made another mumble before taking off, leaving me and Mercedes to stand and share in the shock of twins.
~Kurt~
We had both come home and locked ourselves in the basement, Finn telling my dad and his mom that I wasn't feeling good and that we were going to just hang out and watch a movie. Instead of doing that, which we would have done if the circumstances had been normal, I switched on my Ipod to the most depressing song I had and crawled into my bed, hoping that maybe this was all a bad dream that I could wake up from and pretend like none of it had ever happened.Unfortunately it wasn't.
Finn was only a few seconds behind me before he had laid down next to me in my bed. I was grateful that he was here for me, trying to be comforting. At the same time, though, I was really mad at him for doing this to me, for putting me through this and at the risk of dying.
Then if I didn't die, I'd have babies to take care of, or the death of babies hanging over my shoulder. I whispered the words 'I hate you' anytime he'd try to speak to me about something. I knew they must have hurt him in some way but he didn't show it, instead coming back stronger when he tried to comfort me.
By the fiftieth 'I hate you' whispered I was drained in energy, facing Finn's chest. My hands were clutching to his shirt, bunching it up in my fists and clinging to him to hold onto any aspect of reality. I closed me eyes, trying to let sleep take me. I knew in a while I was just going to feel sick so there was no point in actually sleeping, so I just closed my eyes instead and listened to Finn's voice as he spoke, soothing me.
"We're going to be okay. I'm sure of it. You're strong, Kurt, the strongest person I've ever met, actually. I'm certain everything will be okay." I was pretty sure he thought I was asleep after that point, because I felt him shift and look down. Then from that point on he was talking to me, but if more felt like he was talking to himself, thinking out loud.
"I don't have a clue what to tell my mom or Burt. I'm sure we're gonna be screwed.I just hope they don't kick us out like Quinn's parents did. I would give anything to make sure that you and the babies were safe in a house, even if I had to sleep on a bus or something." He gave off a short laugh.
"Maybe I could get the homeless man, Patches, to share his spot down by the library or something." He went on for a bit and I shifted a little, liking the sound of him speaking so kindly about everything, being open about what was going on with him. "You can be kinda cranky at times, but I know that's mainly because of the baby and stuff, but you know, you're not too bad to deal with. And you're kinda sweet and funny and stuff "
Now I was actually pretending to be asleep, just to see where he was going with this.
"I guess, what I'm trying to say, even though you're sleeping and can't actually hear me, though it is good to actually admit this, at least to myself. Is that I really do like you. Quinn asked me about a month ago if I could see us going anywhere, and I told her no but I lied." Now I was guessing talking to no one, even though I was actually awake, was kind of like therapy for him.
"I can see us together and all that jazz that I know you used to think about. I can see us together like a couple. Of course then you had to start dating Sam, and everything changed. I know now it's probably too late, so I guess I'll just have to stick with telling you these kinds of things when you're not really listening, but I just wanted to be able to say that, I do like you Kurt, a lot. Things will work out for us, I hope especially for you, but I just know that you're actually the most beautiful and strong-willed person I've ever met. And that's saying something, because there was this guy at the town fair a couple years ago that, like, lifted a car halfway."
I wanted to wake up to say something, but I knew that I really didn't have anything to say, so I let it pass and continued to pretend to sleep. I still couldn't repress the shudder I got when Fin bent awkwardly to place a soft kiss to the top of my head. Finn Hudson really was something special, and he was going to make someone extremely happy one day.
~Finn~
"Hey, Puck, dude, wait up!" I called down the hall, catching Puck and walking with him towards the choir room. Today had been long, and I'd already been slushied once. I also felt really bad, because I couldn't protect Kurt from a slushie and some jock calling him 'The new definition of Mr. Mom' jerks.
"Yeah, dude, what's up?" He asked as we rounded a corner, weaving through a sea of freshmen trying to get to their lockers.
"I need your help. Last night I realized something, and I can't exactly explain it to anyone yet, and I thought maybe I could sing about it in glee today.I need a guitar player and you play guitar ,so I thought maybe you could help me out. I mean, you kinda owe me after getting my ex pregnant and all." Puck glanced over with a smirk on his face, it was almost like he saw right through me.
"What song?" I handed him the sheet music and he looked it over, scoffing once and handing it back to me.
"What?" I asked, straightening it out in my hand.
"Nothing." He said easily though his eyes seemed to say the word gay directed right at me. "When are we gonna play it? At the beginning of glee or what?"
"Well, I already got it approved with Mr. Schue earlier so now." Puck nodded and headed into the choir room. I let out a nervous breath and ducked in after him, seeing Kurt surrounded by the girls and all of them chattering away. I took a seat next to Artie and waited while Mr. Schue went through his news for us to start off with.
"And now, I've been informed that Finn, you had something to sing today?" I swallowed thickly and nodded, Puck getting up with me and walking to the front of the room. I pulled over two stools for us and sat down.
"I, uh, just had something I really needed to sing about after everything yesterday. Also, thanks you guys for coming yesterday, it meant a lot." Puck shook his head and slowly began to play. I took a deep breath and locked eyes with Kurt, who was looking more vulnerable than usual today.
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
And she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
That maybe it's got nothing to do with me
Kurt took in a deep breath and seemed to understand, at least on some level, what I was getting at. Maybe he didn't know the depth of it, but he knew where it was coming from. The rest of the club was torn between looking at either Kurt or myself, all of them somewhat knowing what was going on.
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers
Who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Some of the glee members started to sway with the rhythm. Brittany and Santana locked pinkies like they normally did when there was some sort of emotion to a song. Mercedes nudged Kurt on the shoulder and smiled, Kurt in turn leaning against her. Quinn was smiling and nodding directly at me. Artie was looking depressed towards Mike and Tina, who were in their own little Asian romance. Mr. Schue just kept a straight face, but nodded along with the song. I knew he'd been though some pregnancy drama as well in the past, and pregnancy drama like that was never easy to look back on, trust me, I know.
Oh, you see that skin
It's the same she's been
Standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made
I looked directly at Sam, knowing that he was now paying for leaving Kurt the way he had. He scoffed almost silently and shook his head, looking away. His jaw was set in a tight line and his fists were clenched. I knew I should have been happy and doing a little dance of joy or something. Instead couldn't help but look away. I actually felt bad for him.
None of this was his fault at all. It was mine. It was because of me that he lost the greatest guy in the world, had been cheated on and had his heart tossed around and stomped on before having it handed back to him in a thousand little pieces. I didn't have the guts to look at him.
I remember what it felt like to be cheated on, and to find out my girlfriend was pregnant. I remember how badly that hurt and how much I felt like I wanted to kill Puck, who was now playing softly next to me. After being through that, Sam had every right to be angry, in fact, he had all the right in the world to have come up and beat my ass if he wanted. It was a terrible thing to do to someone, and I hated myself for it. That's why I couldn't look at him. I was ashamed to.
So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers
Who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Boys you can break
Find out just how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys solider on
But boys would be gone
Without the warmth for
A woman's good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god
And the weight of the world
I looked over at Puck, and saw him and Quinn connect eyes. After everything they'd been through together, there was no way that they weren't having some sort of connection with this song. She smiled slightly and looked down, eyelashes brushing over pale, slim cheeks. Puck let out a breath and smiled a bit as he continued to play, strumming along the chords as they were needed as if he had played this a thousand times before. When he looked over at me there was that same look he gave me when we'd finally given our peace offerings. That was a look of acceptance.
So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers
Who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
So mothers be good to your daughters too
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Everyone clapped as the song ended and the bell rung to signal us all out. Puck and I fist bumped before he went to put his guitar back and head out the door with Quinn. Everyone gave me a few encouraging words as they exited. Kurt told me he'd meet me out by my truck, but his eyes filled with un-fallen tears said everything he hadn't out loud. Mr. Schue squeezed my shoulder as he, too, walked out.
Then it was only Sam.
"Hey, dude, I-"But he cut me off with sharp footsteps as he walked to the door. Before he left he turned to face me, hand holding onto the door frame for support. His eyes blazed dangerously with a challenge.
"I just want you to know, Kurt and I, we're not over yet. I'm coming back for him." Without any other words spoken, he turned and made seemingly soundless footsteps out of the choir room, leaving me to ponder that thought. I was willing to put this feud to rest, but now I knew I'd have to be the bigger person here all the time because he was serious about this.
A/N:
Ah, yes, the return of Sam is approaching. Aren't you all excited for a little rivalry action after all that fluff? So what did everyone thing about the twins idea, cause if you didn't lie it it's a bit too late to change it now! Reviews are greatly appreciated.