Chapter 10 – Supporting presence
Imogen wasted no time. She quickly put on her gym gear and began the trek to the other side of the lake. How nice it would be to be able to get there in the blink of an eye she thought. It took her forty five minutes to reach the spot that Davinia had described but when she did her efforts were rewarded. There by the side of the lake, manipulating the water to turn, bend and crash in big waves, was the potions teacher.
'You are not easy to find' Miss Drill announced as she approached Miss Hardbroom.
'That was the idea', the tall figure replied crisply.
'Yes well, I am sorry for disturbing you…but…well…some of us are worried about you', Miss Drill declared with feeling.
'There is no need. As I told Miss Cackle, I am perfectly fine!' Miss Hardbroom said plainly.
'That may be, but not everyone else is fine, Constance,' Miss Drill said softly trying to appeal to Miss Hardbroom's compassionate side which she was well aware was in there somewhere.
'I am sure you and Miss Cackle can cope with any issues in my absence,' she said maintaining an impassive expression and an air of defensiveness.
'Damn it, Constance!' Imogen half shouted in annoyance, 'we need you'.
'And what am I meant to say to everyone? I can't change anything,' Constance retorted sharply, angered by Imogen's outburst.
'People are worried about you. They want to see you and feel your presence in the school. They want you to reassure them and just to listen. I am aware that the powerful Constance Hardbroom does not do emotion and cannot deal with human frailty. But, those girls look up to you and only you can put their minds at ease right now. You cannot avoid us…them…forever!' Imogen said passionately and then marched back towards the school before Constance could respond. She hoped she had said enough and she had a long walk to consider the words she had chosen and the way she had said them.
Constance watched the PE instructor stride away and deep down she knew she was right. Mildred had asked to talk to her at least twice that she knew of. In an attempt to shut out the last week she had shut out the people that had helped her survive it. She just didn't know what to say to them and she didn't want to betray the depth of feeling that filled her body right now. Ultimately, the attack on the school had been motivated by her presence within it. They were all acting to protect her. She had hesitated when Mistress Broomhead's name was mentioned and failed to stop Hogweed when she had the opportunity to early on. She detested weakness in others but to suffer from it herself was unforgiveable. Her past had compromised her actions and it had left her in emotional turmoil once again.
She had spent each day honing her magical abilities. The drive to be as powerful and indestructible as ever was greater than it had ever been. It was this focus that had restored order to her life when she had left the clutches of her former mistress. She had expected it to do the same once more. But, the scars left from her years at college were burning far greater this time and Imogen's comments made her wonder if she was just hiding away from where she was really needed. She couldn't shut everyone else out forever and if Imogen had felt it necessary to find her then it was time her priorities shifted.
Constance paced up and down wrestling with her needs and those of others. There was no question in the end; her responsibility was to those she cared about.
She waisted no time in transporting herself back within the castle walls, arriving there a long time before Imogen would on foot.
'Mildred I understand you wish to talk to me' she said as she appeared in the young witch's room. The moment she saw the girl she realised that she had missed her. It was an odd feeling for Constance Hardbroom to admit to but she felt stronger simply by seeing the girl who fought with her shoulder to shoulder. The powerful bond that had been forged between them could not be denied, Mildred Hubble meant the world to her.
'Oh, Miss!' Mildred said, standing up and rushing over to the very rigid and upright form of Miss Hardbroom. She flung her arms around her and hugged her strongly. 'I didn't know if you were…ok' Mildred said as tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.
Miss Hardbroom was taken aback by the reaction and felt terrible for distancing herself when she had clearly been needed.
'It's alright, Mildred. I am fine, really. It's alright' Miss Hardbroom spoke soothingly, and hugged her pupil back gently.
'But you…you' Mildred stammered, holding her form-tutor tightly for fear that if she loosened her grip she may disappear.
'Hush girl, I am fine. You can relax your arms Mildred, I am not going anywhere,' Miss Hardbroom said reassuringly feeling the intensity of the grip around her waist.
Mildred did not relax her grip until she had cried on her form-tutor for ten long minutes. Then she stood back very slowly and waited nervously for her teacher's reaction to her emotional outburst.
'Do you feel better now?' Miss Hardbroom asked dryly.
'Yes, erm…I'm sorry I didn't mean to…'
Miss Hardbroom held up her arm to stop her from talking. Mildred sat shyly on the edge of her bed, wondering what had gotten into her. She had hugged HB and cried all over her! What on earth was she thinking?
'You do not have to apologise, Mildred. It is I who should be apologising to you. I should never have left you to deal with this on your own. Now, what would you like to talk to me about? I am in no rush so you can say anything you feel you need to', she said patiently and perched herself on the end of the bed. Her back was straight and her posture was set in granite but her facial expression was both warm and encouraging.
Mildred looked at her and a strange flicker of comfort and appreciation shot through her. In truth, this was all she had needed really. To see that Miss Hardbroom had her strength back and looked rigid and intimidating in her black attire once more. She was the only one who could make Mildred feel safe and she didn't care how quickly she reverted back to her derisory, cutting, impatient self because HB was back. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore but Mildred thought it would be best to say something at this point so she talked about the anxieties she had struggled with before her form-tutor's return.
'I can't go in the Great Hall. I just relive things over and over so I eat in my room instead', Mildred said quietly.
'Perhaps if I go with you, we can face that particular fear together. I have not been in there since, myself', Miss Hardbroom confessed though she was avoiding people whereas Mildred was avoiding the past.
'And I have nightmares. Maud wakes up and I think she helps me back to sleep but they feel real and I remember them in the mornings', Mildred spoke softly, realising that her disturbed sleep was making her fretful to go to bed at night. It was odd being this open with HB but it felt like she had always done it. It felt natural and familiar.
'I can give you a potion to help you sleep but I assume there is something more on your mind that you have not told me. The nightmares must stem from a fear or an unresolved issue you have perhaps,' Miss Hardbroom said knowingly. She knew that Mildred always needed reassurance or confirmation on any question that popped into her mind. She could not rest until she had asked it. Four years as her form-tutor had certainly taught her that much.
'I just don't want anything like that to happen again', Mildred said trying to avoid talking about what was really troubling her.
'It won't. No-one will get past me without full confirmation from the Witches Council and I have put magical barriers and alarms up all over the castle to prevent any intruders entering. They also sound if any dark magic passes through them. Nothing like that will ever happen again, you have my word,' Miss Hardbroom said with certainty. She would not let anything pose such a risk to those around her ever again.
Mildred smiled at her. She knew that HB would never let anything like that happen again but it worried her that she took full responsibility for that. She was always their first and last line of defence.
'What is it Mildred? I know when you are holding something back from me. Do you not think that I have seen you skirt around the truth enough times to recognise that same expression you are wearing now? Your bravery the other day has given you the right to ask as many questions as you like. The Mildred Hubble I know is always full of queries, and suspicions, and often, a few wild assumptions. If you are to stop having these nightmares and start putting your fears behind you then you must discuss what is going on in that creative mind of yours', Miss Hardbroom coaxed her gently. Mildred had never known her to be so patient and so willing to listen.
'You nearly died!' Mildred blurted out suddenly. 'That is what I keep seeing in my head, in my nightmares. I wasn't scared for myself, I was scared for you', she said with feeling, tears still sitting heavy in the base of her eyes.
'I know, Mildred. I heard what you said to Melissa Hogweed in my defence and I know that you stayed by my side to protect me while the clone you drew kept her at bay. You actually fought for that right as I recall and refused to follow Miss Cackle's orders. How can I be in any danger with you fighting my corner?' Miss Hardbroom asked in earnest. The words rolled off her tongue because she had gone over them in her mind over and over. She knew she would have to talk to Mildred and she had only put it off because she didn't want to get any part of it wrong. She hadn't realised that her presence would be enough in itself. 'I know that you feared for my life and I am sorry that you had to go through that. But, what you need to think about is the fact that we triumphed against unimaginable odds. I feel safer knowing to what lengths my students and colleagues will go to in order to protect me' she added softly and the pride and raw emotion she felt with these words could not be concealed from the young witch who knew her every expression and tone of voice.
Mildred looked at her, and her teacher saw her eyes burning with a request she dare not ask for. HB smiled at the anxious face and realised what was being asked without any exchange of words. Miss Hardbroom reached out and brushed Mildred's fringe out of her eyes.
'I will give you my promise, Mildred. I will never fight anything alone again. I will first go to those who I know are both loyal and very capable of assisting me. I will turn to those who care about me. Does that suffice?' she asked genuinely.
'Yes, thank you, Miss', Mildred replied with relief.
'And the moment that repeats in my mind was the point where Hogweed cast a spell that sent three spears straight for you. I was frozen to the spot without enough magic to protect you. I have never been so scared in my whole life as I was in that moment. But, we are both here, Mildred and we are wiser and stronger than ever. That is what we must remember', she said kindly though she also had tears in her eyes now. The trauma of that day had taken its toll on both of them and they each needed to talk just as much as the other.
'But…you do promise', Mildred uttered quietly.
'Yes, Mildred, I promise and I am sorry that I scared you', Miss Hardbroom said with feeling.
'I am sorry I scared you too', Mildred said and then hugged her form-tutor again. She didn't get many opportunities to hug the formidable HB, well none actually. Though until now she really hadn't had much cause to hug her. It wasn't anyone's first choice to hug the ice queen.
'We are safe now Mildred', Miss Hardbroom said and stroked the girls head reassuringly. She knew that the bond they had formed would never be broken. Mildred would find potions classes as hard as they had always been and HB's teaching style would be relentlessly meticulous. But, within them both this moment would hold a special place and no matter what their persona's showed, deep down they would harbour a crystal clear understanding of one another. They were both selfless, loyal, determined individuals who, simply by being themselves, inspired change in each other for the better.
'Now shall we see if we can enter the Great Hall together?' Miss Hardbroom asked cautiously, fearing that Mildred may fall asleep on her.
'Yes', Mildred said and realised that was her cue to move though she did wish that she could stay there for a while longer. Miss Hardbroom was the furthest thing from a supporting beanbag so it was probably best to let go and snap back to the reality they had both escaped for a short time.
They walked down to the great hall slowly. Miss Hardbroom monitored Mildred's level of anxiety to make sure she was up to it. She placed an arm on the young witches shoulder as they were about to go in so she did not feel alone at any point.
'Now you see, this is the Great Hall you received your cat in, flew around for Miss Cackle's birthday…surprise' she said with a hint of derision, 'and will one day graduate to college from. Hogweed cannot taint any of those moments and it was the magic in these walls that gave us both the strength and power to defeat her. How do you feel?' she asked calmly.
'I feel normal. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I just couldn't do it on my own,' Mildred said smiling at her form-tutor appreciatively.
'No, well we both know that imagination of yours is quite dangerous when left to its own devices!' Miss Hardbroom said raising an eyebrow as she recalled past experiences.
'Yes, one Miss Hardbroom is plenty' Mildred mumbled. Miss Hardbroom smiled to herself at these quietly spoken words.
'I wasn't thinking of that but I was grateful for your choice of defence. It was interesting seeing myself from a different angle. Perhaps living with the worst of your imagination is necessary to yield the best out of it in difficult situations. Though, had you drawn up another Mildred Hubble I am not sure I could have coped,' she said smiling to herself though the smallest hint of dread in her eyes betrayed her fear of that becoming a reality.
'Perhaps I should try that sometime,' Mildred said sensing her teacher's unease and finding it amusing.
'You still have another year and a half to get through Mildred. There are two certainties to expect during that time. The first is that you will have potion classes and exams with me and the second is that I will more than likely volunteer to continue being your form-tutor until you leave this school. Call it professional curiosity and concern for your wellbeing' she said with a smirk as a shadow of frustration crept across Mildred's face. 'If you wish that time to pass without too much grief then I suggest you leave your drawings for the holidays!'
'Yes, Miss' Mildred replied forlornly, but it was only a show for her teacher. She knew that during the evenings she would be drawing all manor of things.
Miss Hardbroom smiled at her gently. 'However, your place at Cackle's is now secure until the end. Any mistakes you make will not go unpunished but the threat of expulsion will never be used again. You have earned that much Mildred. Now go and find your friends. I will bring you a potion up before lights out to help you sleep but until that point try to return to normality. I am back to my full strength. I will not let anything happen to you while you remain in this school. Do you feel up to normality?' she asked, softening her tone slightly for the last question.
'Yes, thank you Miss,' Mildred said firmly, looking into the eyes of the woman she knew would never let her down.
'No, Mildred, thank you. You will forever have my complete trust and I promise never to underestimate you again. That is unless I find you wandering down the corridor in the middle of the night pretending to be approaching the library because you ran out of books and wished to study with discipline and diligence until morning!' She said dryly.
'I could never think of that on the spot!' Mildred said in awe of her teacher's ability to fabricate the perfect defence. Well it would be if her name wasn't Mildred Hubble.
'I know and I am eternally grateful for that fact. Now go and see your friends, I am sure they have not seen you smile for quite some time,' she said authoritatively beginning to sound like the old HB again. Mildred actually found her tone comforting. She wondered when that would wear off and she would be back to disliking her ever so slightly. That didn't matter for now. She was feeling tonnes better and was eager to see her friends and reassure them that she was ok.
'Yes, Miss' Mildred said with a grin, she hugged her teacher one last time while she was allowed and then practically skipped out of the hall.
Miss Hardbroom looked around the hall on her own for a while making sure that everything was as it should be. You would not have known anything had taken place; all of the scars had been left on the people involved. The physical wounds were still visible on some, particularly the burns on Miss Hardbroom's upper body, and the mental wounds would stay with them for the rest of their lives. Then she noticed Mildred's drawings on the back wall. She traced their outline and thought about that day and the second HB the young witch had drawn. She was indeed a witch with a remarkable talent and as Constance studied her artwork she knew that it was this drawing that had changed the course of events in their favour and saved her life. What she would normally term graffiti she wished to stay forever on that wall as a symbol of what determined witches were capable of. It was part of this old building's history now; it was part of the history and tradition of Cackle's Academy forever.
'No thank you Mildred, thank you for proving me wrong and making we feel loved and supported', she said softly to herself, as a single tear trickled down her cheek marking the deep appreciation she felt for the caring family she finally realised she had around her.
She left the Great Hall and walked towards the Staff Room. Miss Drill had slipped up during her plea to her to return to the school, stating we, instead of they. She knew they relied on her to be strong and they would also be concerned for her wellbeing. She felt ready to face them now and reassure them that all was well.
As she approached the Staff Room she saw Miss Drill march up to it and enter in front of her. She observed the woman curiously as it seemed she was on some sort of mission. She flung the Staff Room door open with considerable force and then slammed it behind her.
Constance walked up to the door and decided to listen before entering.