The Doctor sighed and put his cup down on the tray.

"I didn't know if you would... try something or not" he said, almost through gritted teeth. I sighed and sat back in my chair. I looked away from him for a moment thinking deeply stirring my tea as I did.

"I see..." I said still thinking, I sat forward with my cup in hand not knowing what else to say. I remained quiet noticing the silence grow longer and longer and longer and I could tell both of us noticed it.

"Why?" he asked breaking the silence, I smiled a little.

"You know it's funny..." I began still looking away "I've spent the last five years trying to explain to doctors why and none of them have ever even figured it out, I mean even with me telling them." I smiled and put my cup on the table, I sighed and sat back on the sofa tipping my head back and closing my eyes.

"I'm not a doctor" he began softly "I'm The Doctor." He touched my arm so that I looked at him "So why don't you try telling me" He said the last part quietly, and I sighed. I didn't want to talk about it anymore, I knew it was stupid but now that The Doctor had came along and given me something to live for I didn't want to, and now that I didn't want to I just wanted to forget I ever did. I knew I couldn't.

"I guess so." I began "How long have you got?" I asked smiling slightly. The Doctor looked at his watch tapping the face with his finger mumbling slightly

"Well... it's about quarter past now... so umm... I'd say... about... forever." I smiled at his response. I didn't know if he could read my thoughts now or not, but I knew that regardless of that he wanted me to talk about it. Maybe it was a thing to make me trust him or something to do with me getting it off my chest, I wasn't entirely sure.

"Well... I suppose it didn't get really bad until I was about sixteen, but the causes started way before then" I began; he was watching me intently, just as the other doctors did. I knew of nothing else to do in this situation but hang my head and continue in a lower tone. It was always difficult to talk about, I was essentially clawing into my deepest and darkest thoughts and emotions, dragging them forcefully out to lay them on a table for all to see. To me, it was about as easy as trying to forcefully cough my heart up. "My mum... I guess was OK. We couldn't afford much and I was already bullied at school obviously it got worse when I began showing up in shirts that wouldn't fit across my chest and trousers that would rip or casual clothes because I didn't have any others" I gulped and began fidgeting, I could tell by the look on the Doctors face that he knew how hard it was. "I didn't do well in school, because of... family things meaning I was never there. They kept me back about" I paused for thought "about three years" I sighed and sat back in the chair falling silent. I looked at the Doctor "say something" I pleaded. He just looked up at me and smiled

"I'm listening" was all he said, it was a simple sentiment, nothing amazing or comforting, yet those two words were enough to make me feel more human than the endless streams of meaningless drool my previous doctors spouted ever did.

"I could say it was the bullying" I started again "don't get me wrong it played a part but it wasn't JUST that. I mean every day there was someone new telling me I wouldn't amount to anything, telling me I'd be homeless at seventeen and dead by twenty" I smiled "I guess I've proven them wrong for that much at least" The Doctor smiled and I continued fidgeting as I did "when I was sixteen my mother kicked me out. I wandered the street for a few days, no food, water or shelter. I was already contemplating suicide but was never ballsy enough to do it until I considered how slow and painful starving or freezing to death would be."

"So..." asked the Doctor pushing me to continue

"So I threw myself in front of a bus." I replied bluntly "Survived it, obviously. Woke up in hospital feeling like Doctor Octopus with the amount of cables and wires. I could hardly tell which were going in and which were going out." I smiled trying my best to make light of it, I knew I couldn't but it was just too hard to talk about seriously. "As soon as I was fit enough to get out of that hospital they sent me to an institute, they put me under around the clock suicide watch and put me on medication so strong I didn't even know my own name, I guess it kind of worked. I mean I was too doped up because of that medication I wasn't even capable of handling a spoon. They let me out a year later when they felt I was dim enough to let back out into the world, but they sent me to doctor after doctor to ensure I remained brain dead enough to not think about things that upset me" I put my head down drawing my story to a quick and basic finish. The Doctor looked at me with a furrowed brow.

"You've left out bits" he said boldly "there's huge holes in your story" he said picking up on my method. I smiled without looking at him

"Wow." I said plainly "you're the first doctor to notice I do that, the others just thought I was depressed without reason" I turned my head to look at him as I leaned forward resting my elbows on my knees. "I take it you want me to go on?" I asked. He nodded and I sighed "Alright" I began stretching "It's not like I can hide it anymore, but keep in mind everything I tell you from this point... well... nobody but you and I know it." He nodded very slightly but didn't say anything. I suppose I was partly glad of it. I continued "My mum... wasn't great... she wasn't even OK. She was the worst possible mother anyone could ever ask for. I told the counsellors she was OK and that she did her best and that I was a problem child because I didn't want to become another statistic which is only how it is because of bad parents. I mean, as terrible as my mother was, she only played a part. Counsellors find it way too easy to just lump me with the loons raised from dysfunction and that wasn't the problem at all."

"What did she do?" asked the Doctor gently

"Well if the question is 'what did she do to be a good mother' then the answer would be, in not so colourful terms, nothing. I guess she bought me cheap clothes that didn't fit but only because she couldn't send me to school naked and would probably be arrested if she didn't send me at all. If the question is 'what did she do to hurt me' then the answer would be... well what didn't she do? She abused me in more way than one, she was constantly drunk. On good days I felt like her pet dog that she paraded around in front of her drinking buddies, kicking it occasionally for a laugh. And on bad days I felt nothing. You can't feel anything when you're unconscious." I rubbed the back of my neck "I was cutting for a long time without the intention of suicide, but I suppose I always hoped one day I'd accidently cut too deep. That was one of the reasons I was bullied, the scars. I was bullied for countless things, the way I dress of course, my lack of money, my scars, my family and often for no reason at all. My mum was contacted by the school many times, she pretended while she was there but as soon as we got home she would call me a coward and go back to her sweet old self" I glared and spat the sarcasm through almost gritted teeth. "She kicked me out as soon as it was legal to do so, when asked I said I ran way. Any more holes you want filling in Doctor?" I asked.

"Why didn't you just tell someone about her?" he asked gently but confused.

"Simple" I replied with a smile "I have a sister. She loved my sister endlessly and was never cruel to her, she is capable of being a mother, but just not to me. My mother and my sisters father separated for a while and my sister lived with her dad during that time she drank excessively and was awful, but when they got together again she stopped drinking cold turkey, she was still cruel to me but never to my sister. I think I was the only thing in the way of her having her 'perfect family circle' which is why she kicked me out as soon as possible."

The doctor looked at me for a moment as if I was mad for thinking that but he shrugged it off "And the bullies" he pressed "They must have done something horrific" I smirked and rolled my sleeves up showing him my arms I pointed to my left arm which was streaked with slow fading scars that where only now beginning to turn that white colour scars turn to after years of healing

"I did those" I said watching his reaction as his brow furrowed, I then pointed to my right arm which had been shredded up and down with both 3D scars that were still very pink and slow fading white streaks. The word 'freak' had been etched inches below the fold of my arm, it was still very visible to see. "They did those" I said with a darker tone to my voice, I watched his expression change and his eyes widen "It kept on after I left school, they'd look for me on the streets and do this, I tried telling the police but they believed that because I cut anyway that I was just trying to send them down for bullying me which they, apparently, had already been punished for." I rolled down my sleeves quickly talking as I did "it's one thing for me to mark my own body, it's another for the very people who were part of the cause to pin me down and forever etch their poison into my skin forever. I didn't want to live with a body that had been violated by so many people, that just... it was the straw that broke the camel's back" I looked at him and noticed his eyes hadn't moved from where my arms were previously I sighed and looked at my feet "You know what? Only today have I realised how stupid I was. I'll never live a life like yours Doctor, I wouldn't know where to begin, but maybe I could try something similar." I thought for a little while longer "And you know what else... after everything that's ever happened in my life, and everything that's happened today... explaining all of this to you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do" I looked at the Doctor who lifted his head finally looking me in the eye. I smiled and pulled him into a sudden tight hug laughing slightly as tears of joy came to my eye.

"Lily..." was all he said, surprised by my sudden affection. I laughed as a tear fell onto his blazer

"This is crazy, you're crazy... I must be crazy but hell! I don't want to die anymore Doctor!" I released him and look into his eyes "I don't know what you did, you didn't say or do anything but it worked! Maybe it was everything that happened today... in fact it probably was!" I got up and began pacing around the living room muttering to myself I smiled as tears of joy continued to fall, I was finally feeling like I was getting better. I stopped in my tracks when I saw the Doctor standing next to the Tardis door watching me with a blank expression. "You're leaving?" I asked, the joy in my voice disappeared in a flash.

"Yeah" he said blankly I took a few steps forward fidgeting and averting my eyes to the floor.

"So soon? You won't stay? Even a little longer?" I asked sadly, he smirked and looked around

"Nah" he began casually "nothing here for me anymore". My heart broke at his sudden disinterest, I remembered the promise me made me, to take me to the stars. I lowered my eyes like a shy child

"OK" I said quietly "thank you Doctor... for everything". He smiled brightly

"No problem!" he beamed "Now then back to business! Maybe you should go pack some things"

"Wh-What?" I stammered, a wide smile lighting up my face

"Well I made you a promise didn't I?" He shouted it slightly, but joyfully "Now go on! Go get your toothbrush and we'll be off!" he shouted I couldn't help but laugh loudly in response like an excited child I ran upstairs and threw almost everything I had into a single suitcase squeezing the lid shut and moving as quickly as I could. I eventually clumsily stumbled down the stairs carrying a heavy suitcase. The Doctor took it from me and threw it in the Tardis opening the door for me to go through.

"Come on then Lillian! Let's go have some adventures!" he yelled happily. I went to enter the Tardis but he stopped me, beaming wildly "Listen, I was the last Time lord for so long, nothing would make me happier than for you to come with me and I'll be honest, I'd consider kidnapping you if you changed your mind" he chuckled and pulled my house keys out of his pocket giving them to me "I found these on top of the DVD by the way" he said off topic "Now if you want to come with me, you'd be leaving everything here behind, you know that don't you?" he asked seriously. I smiled looking at my keys and throwing them over my shoulder into the living room. I smiled widely

"Good riddance" I said not taking my eyes off the Doctor "Now, take me to the stars spaceman!" I said jokingly ducking under his arm and walking happily into the Tardis he smiled and followed me, shouting joyfully as he did.

"Anywhere and any-when you want m'lady!"