The cafeteria was one of the best places to waste time within the hospital. One just needed to idly snack on something at one of the many semi-comfortable table and chair settings, and anyone would assume the person was on a well-deserved break from their busy work day. Munching in a cafeteria was an excellent place to blend in and not be noticed. Add in a book to bury one's nose in, and the situation was guaranteed to look inconspicuous. That was how I survived public school before moving to South Carolina. I had perfected the skill of being shy.
Too bad I didn't have a book on me. Or money to buy a snack. I didn't even have the means to get a simple bottle of water. If I wanted to stay in the cafeteria, I would be reduced to play on my phone and looking bored at a television screen showing nothing but flooded streets. Appearing to be bored while unaccompanied was practically inviting strangers to talk to me, and I have already met so many new people today. I was tangled up in so much of their business, there was no more energy to even attempt to connect to more strangers if I could help it.
I needed time to think about my mission. How to help fix Dr. Sean. Since the cafeteria wasn't suitable, my remaining option was the office that smelled like the boys, the office where whispers of their presence lingered.
For the second time that day, I trekked to the basement level and to the unmarked door past the sign that said the area was for employees only. The door was still unlocked from the last time I was there, which was probably a bad thing. Anyone could have entered and taken the stuff inside. I didn't keep anything important in my overnight bag other than a small amount of cash, but the boys have taught me that money is a trivial thing. I wouldn't miss thirty dollars or the change of soggy clothes if my bag was taken. I was more worried for Dr. Sean's bag and the manila files forever piled on the center table. Those were vastly more important than my material possessions.
I needed to ask if I could be allowed a key to this office since I was spending more time here. The boys already trusted me with the keys to their homes, even if I rarely used them. Kota said I would get keys to their cars when I started driving too. Having access to this room was along the same lines right?
Maybe not. Why should the responsibility of a facility within a hospital be given to a plain girl who didn't work there? If I were to forget to lock up, and things went missing, Dr. Green would be the one to get into trouble. I did not want to risk his career, so I resolved to ask for access each time and be careful to lock up every time.
I settled onto a two seater couch along the side wall. The upholstery smelled lightly of musk. North's seat. My feet slipped out of my sandals and tucked in under me as I leaned into the arm of the sofa, trying to sort my tangled mess of thoughts.
A few minutes later, the door swing open without a shred of warning. I bolted upright from the loveseat, then sank back into my seat with a groan when I realized I left the door unlocked again. No keys for Sang. I wasn't responsible enough to be trusted with them.
Dr. Green's eyes stared wide at me when he froze in the doorway. "Sang? Why are you here?"
My heart sang, weighing heavily in the pit of my stomach. He didn't want me. I was in his way. A burden. A nuisance.
"I'm sorry." My voice waivered. "I didn't have any place else to go."
He stepped fully inside and closed the door behind him. "Why do you look like I just snatched your favorite kitten right out of your hands?"
My body rattled and shook as I tried desperately to reign in sobs. It took so much effort to control myself, my tongue refused to work. I could not answer him.
Dr. Green made his way over to me and sunk down into the couch beside me. He sat far enough so no parts of us made contact. Several inches separated us from one another.
I curled up tighter into my ball against the arm rest.
"I pretty much have done just that to you, haven't I?" he spoke while running his hand over his face. "I've been nothing but a genuine asshole to you, and you don't deserve that."
I didn't know what to say, so a few moments of loud silence hung between us, neither one looked at the other.
"Sang. I don't know how to apologize. I don't think I can, not because I don't want to. There's no possible way you can forgive me for the way I hurt you today. I don't deserve forgiveness." The more he spoke, the less energy he had, like he was falling further and further into his hole of self-loathing and coming to accept his terms of hopelessness.
But he was wrong. I had already forgiven him. I just didn't know how to tell him.
He kept rambling on, and I didn't have the heart to stop him. Sometimes people just needed to talk, right? I have never seen Dr. Green in a slump before, so I didn't know if he needed to talk to unwind, or if he needed a different outlet. Talking could be how he buried himself deeper into his despair.
"I've always been impulsive. I do the first thing that comes to mind. I fixate on it until I get it done, rules be damned. Rules are just limitations, boundaries to control people and keep them safe. That's why I grew up so disobedient. I knew I could do so much more than what people wanted of me. Expect of me."
As he talked, I slowly uncurled from my ball and edged closer to him. Inch by inch.
"Until it just became habit to not trust anyone and break the rules just because I could. Drove my mom nuts." He grunted and smothered his face in his hands for several seconds. "I assessed the risks and did things my way, which was usually ten times more efficient than going by the book. As you say, anything in my way becomes my enemy, something that is trying to hold me back from my true potential, or whatever it is I want.
"I'm only human, Sang. I betrayed your trust when you were doing the right thing. I just bowled right over you and left you in the mud. You must hate me."
I couldn't find any words to argue with him, but my heart was lurching. I needed to tell him he was wrong, that I understood, and I did not hate him.
"I've gone and shown you the ugly part of me," he said. "You see the bad half. I've shattered your fantasy of the Good Doctor. Hell, I don't know why the staff here calls me that to begin with," he kept on talking.
I was through with his words. All of them were false. He had everything wrong. But I didn't know how to tell him. Words wouldn't work.
So I didn't use words. Instead I used his cure for giggles. The principle to stop noise coming from the mouth was the same, wasn't it?
One hand anchored myself on his shoulder and my other hand reached across him to cup his cheek and turn his head toward me. I had to lift myself on my knees to reach him and press my lips against his, being careful not to be too hard. It all happened in a split second. My kiss cut him off mid word.
My eyes were open. Narrowed, but open. I saw his eyes grow wide in surprise, the hazel ring in the middle of the green making itself known to me once more. I watched it narrow and disappear as the black of his pupils dilated, eating away at the color of his irises. Soon, his eyelids follow suit and narrowed.
His lips pressed into mine harder before he backed up. Our mouths separated with an audible kiss sound. It was the only noise in the room after Dr. Sean ceased talking, and the percussive sound filled the air, seeming to linger over us.
"Sang…" he breathed before slip fingers into my hair and crashing his lips against mine again. His turned toward me more, and I fisted his scrubs at his shoulders.
His kisses were short, hard, and loud. These kisses were nothing like what we did earlier, outside when the rain started. That was a passion that burst after the pressure and tension of teasing each other built up.
This, now, was desperation. This was clinging to what was real, grasping onto a lifeline before the current of the flood swept him away to drown. I was his rock, his stability, and I needed to just remind him I was still here for him to hold onto.
The kisses travelled from my lips to pepper all over my cheeks, forehead, chin, to over my closed eyelids and on the tip of my nose. Then, he pressed his forehead on mine, eyes closed and breathing heavy.
My breaths matched his.
"Why, Sang? Why are you still here? I don't deserve you. I'm a monster."
The rush of his whispered words brushed over my lips.
"I take you for who you are," I answered him quietly. We were the only ones in the room, but I spoke as if others could listen, and I wanted him to be the only one to hear me. "The good, the bad, and everything in between. I take it all."
What kind of person would I be if I only accepted the parts of him I liked? That would be like hacking off an arm and a leg from him and calling what was left perfect. I understood no one's life was a walk in the park with constant and perpetual sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. While I like the flirting, how he always listened to me even when I had nothing to say, and the way he pushed me past my own barrier, Dr. Sean was still human, a rather amazing specimen of the species, but human.
He had helped me see through some of the brightest and darkest parts of my life already. That's how relationships work, whether between friends or more than that. People in any level of relationship help and support each other through thick and thin.
I cared for Dr. Green. Sean. I let him know my shuffling to his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck, showing him I took all of him.
His arms went around my ribs, holding me tight against him. His breath was lost into my hair.
"I'm already wild about you, Sang. You're not making it any better this way," he murmured into my ear.
"Is this a bad thing?" I asked rhetorically.
"If it is, I don't care," he answered anyways as he moved my hair away from my neck, replacing it with his mouth. His lips nibbled, sucked, and kissed the soft skin under my ear.
I forgot how to breathe until he reminded me to exhale by whispering into my lobe.
My arms loosened from around him as my head tilted to the side to give him better reach to my neck. His attention to me there was doing funny things to my tummy and toes. Exhilarating things. I liked it. I didn't want it to stop.
My fingers tan through his sandy curls, nails scraping against his scalp before gently tugging strands straight His hair was longer than it looked. The locks were softer than they appeared to be.
The tip of his nose traced a path up my cheek, leaving a trail of electricity in its wake until we were surrounded by a haze of static. If I were to tilt my head, a spark was sure to jolt between our lips. I wanted it.
I brought my mouth toward his, but he moved with me and kept the same distance between us, only allowing his nose to ghost over my skin.
His lips curled up into an amused grin. He was playing with me.
I leaned in again, trying to capture his lips in a kiss. Again, he eluded me, chuckling at my failure to catch him.
So I decided to play by his rules. My hands cupped the sides and back of his neck, holding him still with his head straight. I shifted until I sat on his knees, my own on either side of his lap. Then I leaned into him until the end of my nose brushed against his chin. His whiskers were just starting to emerge, more felt than seen. The friction made from my nose going up and against the grain was delicious and contrasted with how smooth his face was when I traveled down his cheek.
Sean's breathing hitched when I nudged the corner of his mouth, then lightly nuzzled across his soft lips. The chapstick he wore was cherry flavored by its smell, even if it had been several hours since he last applied any.
He was perfectly still after I let go of his neck. My hands went to his shoulders and dragged down to the front of his scrubs. Underneath the layer of toothpaste green, I could feel a hard and solid chest.
My nose teased over the side of his nose. My lips feathered over his. Both of us were breathing through our mouths. Our breaths mingled together.
"Sang…" he whispered against me.
I leaned back to put space between us. My eyes looked down to where m hands were upon his chest. I was suddenly afraid of his rejection, that I was being too forward or teasing with him. I was doing this wrong.
I didn't realize my bottom lip was between my teeth until Sean lunged forward and pulled it out with a kiss, drawing it into his own to nibble and gently scrape with his teeth. My lip stretched as he pulled back, popping back to my face as he let go.
I touched my mouth with my fingertips, amazed at how tingly my lip felt. It was wet and slightly swollen, and it felt good.
Sean smirked, proud of himself and his work. I smiled back.
His hands went to my hips and pulled me further up his legs. His thighs were much more comfortable than sitting on his knees. My skirt rode up higher on my legs the closer I scooted.
Sean noticed the exposed skin. His fingers touched the hem of my skirt, then raked down my thighs all the way down to my knees on either side of his hips, He traced little circles that tickled on my kneecaps.
I don't know who started the kiss first. Perhaps we both did and met in the middle. Our lips danced with each other to an unheard rhythm, a beat that we could not hear but felt thundering through us.
I licked at his lip, wanting to taste him. I tasted the lingering chapstick.
His tongue came out to return the favor, but my own had not returned behind my lips yet. Sean snagged the opportunity to draw my tongue into his mouth, caressing it with his own around a moan.
His hands grasped and held onto the flesh of my thighs. I didn't know whether it was to keep me still or to anchor himself. I was too wrapped up in his kiss to care.
My eyes were closed, letting the sensations of touch, touching Dr. Green, Sean, overtake me. My heart felt like it was going to explode with the intensity of our kiss.
Instead, my heart leapt out of my chest and stuck to the ceiling when the door to the office swung open and banged against the chair tucked to the wall beside it. I squeaked in surprise.
Dr. Green grunted and immediately pulled my skirt down to better cover my legs.
"Found you!" The Texan twang came from the doorway. "Right where you're supposed to be."
I turned my head to see Nurse Becks there, looking and observing the pair of us. "And boy, what a state I find you in too." She smiled coyly.
I hid my burning cheeks in my hands and pressed my face into Dr. Green's shoulder, praying for the upholstery of the sofa would swallow us whole and save me from this embarrassment.
"Am I needed somewhere?" Dr. Green asked her as he rubbed my back comfortingly. He knew how mortified I was in this awkward situation.
"Actually," Nurse Becks said, hesitating before continuing, "that's up to you."
Dr. Green shifted a little under me. "I don't understand."
Nurse Becks took a moment. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her shift her weight back and forth on her feet. She was nervous. "I went ahead and ran the comparative DNA test on the blood samples you drew. The results are in."