AN: If you can't tell how I feel about Ruby, that's okay - I'm not too sure, either.
Sam called Dean later that day, asking to meet at a coffee shop not too far from his motel. Dean told him to be there at twelve o'clock with a smile and slice of pie, mentioned something about being whipped - although literally or figuratively Sam couldn't determine, and wasn't that a nice thought - and then hung up. He sighed heavily and turned to look at the brunette woman who sat in his bed.
"What's the matter, Sam?" Ruby asked, leaning back on her elbows.
"It's, uh - remember Dean?" Stupid question. Of course she remembered Dean - he was the only reason she stayed with Sam. She still said he needed somebody to look after him; to teach him how to harness his powers. Ruby nodded, furrowing her brow. "Well, some angel or something pulled him out of Hell and they just decided to drop in yesterday. And they were... together. Like, awkward-cute-private-joke-sharing together."
Ruby completely froze at Sam's words. Her chocolate eyes widened substantially and a small gasp echoed from her throat. "I need to, uh -" she hopped out of the bed and began to pick up her scattered clothes, mumbling to herself as she went along "- check on something." She finished with a flourish, gathering up all the clothes to her chest and quickly slipping them on. As soon as the second boot was on her foot, she disappeared with the words "Don't do anything stupid!" on her lips.
... Okay. That was comforting. Sam sighed again and shuffled over to his still-relatively-packed bag, pulling out his clothes for the day. The people in his life were just getting weirder and weirder.
So, Dean and Cas were in the middle of this thing. And this thing may or may not have involved Dean's dick in Cas' mouth. And also it may have been almost over, since damn Cas was fucking magical with his tongue, and they had to go meet Sam and continue this stupid hunt with him in a little bit.
But then fucking Ruby decided to drop in right in the middle of Dean's goddamn blowjob.
It interrupted Cas' pace for only a second, however, and then the angel kept on going - what a brave little soldier. Dean would have to reward him later - when dumbass demons weren't deciding to visit, of course.
The demon bitch looked on, dispassionate as Dean thoroughly began fucking the angel's mouth. He came with a deep groan, and Cas swallowed it down. Oh, he was so good. Dean pulled his dick out of Cas' mouth and immediately lost the I-just-had-sex face for the why-the-fuck-do-you-exist face he saved especially for Ruby.
"Hot," she noted after a tense silence. "So, you mind telling me what you're doing here? And uh, why you're a demon?"
Cas growled at her, unfurling his pitch wings from the other dimension and flaring them out aggressively. The demon flinched at sight of the wings, breath harsh and ragged in her throat. "How-"
"You remember Alastair, don't you?" Dean asked, his tone a sweet melody compared to the angel's furious rasping, "Well, he gave me Cas. And I made him beautiful." The angel in question stood up, reached out to touch Dean, and suddenly the demon had pants on. That was all Cas seemed to do with his mojo, because they were both still kinda shirtless. Dean flicked his eyes over to Ruby, a small smile twitching at his lips.
Dean knew she was staring at the Enochian symbols all over his angel's chest, and felt a thrill of pride when her eyes flickered with fear. "I may not be as old as you are, Rubes," Dean smirked, flashing deviously red eyes at her, "but I'm definitely the stronger one here, don't you think?"
He didn't even bother to acknowledge her nod of confirmation. "So if you mention any of this to Sammy, I'll send you so far down into Hell that you couldn't possibly crawl your way back up." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Or I'll just have you strung up on our rack." He grinned at Cas, who's wings fluttered excitedly at the prospect. Ruby blanched, as she should. She gathered control over herself after a moment and full-on glared at Dean, which really was adorable considering the fact that he could rip her in half with the twitch of a finger.
"What are you going to do with him?" Ruby glowered, obviously not talking about Cas, and Dean knew she was wishing for that damn demon-killing knife she undoubtedly left with Sam.
"Why should I tell you?" Dean shot back. "I hardly trusted you when I was human; what makes you think I'd even trust you to get my coffee now that I'm all to comfortable with what a demon is?"
Demon Bitch directed her glare to Cas. "You seem pretty trustworthy of that guy," she tilted her head, "Is he a special snowflake compared to everyone else?"
"Yeah, actually," Dean grumbled, "he's a lot more trustworthy than anyone I've talked to in the last twenty-four hours." He laid one hand on the angel's shoulder, to which Cas nodded silently and flared his wings out once more. "So it's time for you to get out of here before I sic my angel on you." He grinned toothily at her, and as Ruby's eyes widened Cas took a step forward. "Got it, sweetcheeks? Then scram!"
Ruby was gone before Cas could take another step further. His wings dropped to the floor and he turned to face Dean, dry amusement lighting up his eyes. "I think we scared her accordingly," the angel murmured, returning to Dean and leaning in close, "but I don't think we have enough time to continue our earlier entertainment."
"Don't worry, Cas - we've got all the time in the world. As soon as Sammy settles in at home, y'know." Dean flashed an impromptu grin at Cas, who's lips twitched into a small smile.
"I suppose you're right," Cas agreed, "although we do still need to get him back home - how do you suggest we do that, huh? Tie a plaid shirt on the end of a fishing line and dangle it in front of his nose?"
Dean snickered at the image, and kissed Cas so gently that one might confuse his feelings for something much softer than he was actually capable of. "I like the way you think, but that wouldn't do the trick. No, we gotta go with something a bit more... earth-shattering, y'know?"
"I'm listening," Cas responded, his eyes glittering like sapphire flames. Dean's responding leer conveyed every filthy thought Dean could possibly think of when looking into those Godforsaken - literally! - orbs.
"You've got a little more mojo than the normal run 'o the mill demon, right?" Dean began, smiling innocently at the angel's answering nod. "Good - you can change your meatsuit's appearance, too - right?"
At Cas' second nod, Dean's smile curved upwards wickedly, and his eyes glimmered fiercely. "Good," the demon murmured quietly, "this is all gonna work out awesome."